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Should he stay or should he go?
I will just give you a run down of our relationship, and then a pros and con list otherwise ill go on for hours.
we are 20, have a 5 month old daughter and she is gorgeous. we have been together for three years. When we got together, he was a rebound..after one year we were living together. we were pregnant at 2 years. and now living at my mothers (and hating it)
pros-
he is my daughters father. hes gorgeous. i do love him. he is very talented and could go far. he cooks for me. he loves me. he is very faithful. has a great personality sometimes.
cons-
i have not been single since i was 14. he never tells me im beautiful, i am beginning to think he is not attracted to me because of the baby weight. (im only 115 pounds tho...but its 10 more than i used to be) when he is sleeping, he has a terrible personality and is known to hurt me emotionally and physically (i.e. throwing me at dressers, hitting me bc i am trying ot get him up for once). he has a terrible work ethic and has not been employed in 3 months. he hates my family. he is not the least bit greatful for what my mom is doing for us. i hate his family. his mom is a super cunt and he thinks so too. i wonder if he drinks to much. i dont feel like the princess i used to. he spends all of our money on frivelous things. he is taking on my precious mommy role, my daughter is now comforted by him and all that easier than by me. he does not let me have a say in how we will raise her. i am able to take her to work with me, i usually do because if i leave her home he just makes her stay in her crib and sleep until he is out of bed around 12-2 in the afternoon. alot of the time we dont get along. he is extremely lazy. extremely controlling. i basically get no life. he is the desicion maker even though I provide the shelter, car, and money.
but he IS my daughter father. and I also could not handle him having another girl....one who is actually willing to spend all her money on cid and trippy concerts and who is down to earth and just the perfect girl fir him. this thought rattles my brain and terrifies me to death....
on the other hand...a life in an apartment with just me and my baby girl sounds like heaven...i could afford to move out if it werent for him...
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this is my opinion..
i think you are scared to leave him. you know its the right thing to do because there are WAY too many con's on that list compared to the pro's.
you wrote down maybe 10 things good about him.. and about 30 bad things about him. this mean's he's not good for you..
you're just scared to leave. it is nice that you are thinking about your baby girl and how it will affect her.. but in all reality.. would you rather ditch him and have your girl to yourself and raise her yourself (and risk having her lose her father) or would you rather put up with his controlling ways for the next few years until your girl is grown up (but have your child deal with him too??)
think about it. wouldn't you rather have your baby NOT deal with him?? if this is how he's affecting you, imagine how he will affect your daughter!
stand up for yourself and just turn around and walk away. i'm a huge feminist and i believe that women have rights and shouldn't be treated this way.
good luck :)
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There is no doubt you shouldn't leave him. Get out fast while you can, if he seems so willingly to hurt you and to just be a bum then you deserve to be happy. Live the life you are given for yourself you are the only one who can control it and choose the paths you want to take. You see the path to heaven of you and your baby girl so take it. You make love him but you will find someone else out there who loves you for who you are just as much as you love them.
Best of Luck -- keep us posted on how the situation goes. Remember, do what you need to make yourself happy and live the life you want to live. Don't hold back.
One love.
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Leave him. It may sound terrifying but he sounds like a jerk. I know you love him and he is the father of your baby but, do you really want your gorgeous daughter growing up in a house with someone like that? You have to think about her. If he physically hurts you, he will have no trouble hurting your daugther either.
Good Luck :)
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