Lately I've been having a lot of dreams, and I want to know what they mean, I had this one dream last night that I fully remember, it was short because I kept waking up and going back to sleep, but here it goes...
I'm in a room with a gray floor, maybe cement? and the walls are wood-ish and theres a person on a beach chair with a blanket on it a couple feet away from me, reading a magazine with sunglasses on, and it was all gray and gloomy inside. I'm laying on my stomach on a dark pink blanket with my friend nicole lying next to me on her stomach on a navy blue blanket. I go on facebook, and see that this boy put me on his dating list and he has a girfriend. It says "[his name] likes you and wants you to be on his dating list." or it says "[his name] likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you." I get really happy because I've wanted these 2 people to break up, but then I realize that they are still in a relationship. So I look to my friend nicole and she shows me here nails. and says, "I just got a manicure but they only painted some nails, and they even messed up one of them!" then she laughs and I say, "nicole, that's not a manicure, go back and get a refund! did you pay for a manicure?" and she was like, "yeah. it's just that I'm so uncool if I can't put glue on a nail and stick it on, so I let her do whatever." then we just sit there and I walk over to the other side of her [her left side] and I'm like, [his name] wants me to be on his dating list, but he has a girlfriend, and she was like, "just forget about him." I say, "I don't know." then I get up and stand a little bit away from her..
and that's all I can remember. anyones inisght on this will be very helpful! Thank you so much in advance!
This dream makes perfect sense with the situation you're in. You want this guy and girl to break up, so your dreams are reflecting that. In your dream, the guy likes you. But, then you see he's in a relationship. So you tell your friend and your friend says, "You need to forget about him." And Nicole is right in this dream. You need to forget about the boy. He's in a relationship, even in your dreams! It's okay to be friends with him, but nothing more as of right now. Be open to other relationships and try to move on as best as you can.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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15/f
sorry this is so long.
i used to SI (self injure) like cutting and burning myself but i had to tell my boyfriend about it. i told him about 5 months ago and we have been together for about 8. after i told him i really tried to stop and i did for a little while. i havent cut (which was what i usually did) in about 4 months but now for some reason the urges i get seem to be uncontrolable. i knew that before i tried to stop i was going to get urges but i havent cut in so long and i figured they would be gone by now and they are not. well i tlod my boyfiend about the urges i still get because he is the only person i cant anything and everything to and he made me promise i would talk to my mum about it but i dont see the point because she cant do anything about it to help me. only my dad can because he has custody of me and he wont, he would just call me crazy and resent me like he did last time. i have seen a couseler before and the guy i saw was really wierd and i hated talking to him, although some of what he said helped me. i wouldnt mind gonig back into counseling with a different person but i cant tell my dad because he doesnt think i need to. and maybe i dont but whatever. i just want the urges to stop so i dont start cutting again. i know the little tricks like snapping a rubber band on my wrist. i tried that but it's not enough. i like the feeling of pain. i know how corny this all sounds.
anything to help is wonderful. thanks
I know exactly how you feel. I cut for 4 years. And it's been two years since I have but I STILL get urges. SI is an addiction just like alcohol or drugs. It's very hard to stop and the urges can seem almost unbearable. But you should be giving yourself a pat on the back! You've gone 4 months without cutting. You should be very proud of yourself. The rubberband thing never worked for me either. Instead, when I get these urges, I immediately put my mind somewhere else. I call someone, start reading, start watching a movie, play a video game. Anything that will occupy my mind. And honestly, it is extremely hard at first. The thoughts just stay in your mind and it's so hard to get them out. But after a while, when I started doing something else in order to keep myself from cutting, it actually worked. Now, when I get the urges, all I have to do is call someone up or put a movie in, and my mind is totally indulged in the conversation or movie plot. You're doing a great job so far, keep it up! You need to get a support system, which it sounds like you somewhat have from your boyfriend. I didn't get support from my parents either. I found support in my boyfriend. Tell him that these urges are going to happen for a while, but that they will slowly die down. (I don't get them nearly as much now. Sometimes I'll go a couple months without one urge!) Tell him that you need him for support and that you're going to call him when you get an urge like that. I'm sure he will be okay with this since he really seems to want you to stop.
I hope this helps(:
Darby
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My boyfriend fingered me for the first time last week. It was the first time Ive done anything like that, I dont even masturbate or anything, and it really hurt. How long does it take for it to stop hurting usually? I just feel bad cause I think he thought he was doing something wrong or something..
16/F
After he fingers you a few times, it will feel much better. Try to explain to him that you haven't done anything sexual like that and he needs to be gentle at first. The soreness should go away within a few days. But after he does this a few times, it shouldn't be very sore afterwards at all.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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when we first started dating my ex gave me a little heart necklace with our names on it. we broke up about a week ago but ill be seeing him today. should i give him it back? do guys take it as an insult? like a side of me wants to keep it to remember my first love but then the other side of me wants to get over him as soon as possible...what should i do?
Keep it. I still have things from guys I dated four or five years ago. It's a little souvenir type of thing. Unless he asks for it back (which would be a huge jerk move) just keep it. Put it up somewhere and bring it back out when your heart has healed and you can look at it without feeling too sad.
Hope this helps, and sorry about your break up.):
Darby(:
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ok so a few days or a week or something i asked a question. Things have gotten better since then but people keep telling me to talk to a councler and/or my dad. well i try to explain to my dad that i dont like the way he is doing things and they arnt very fair but he says he doesnt care because he is the parent. I think he just likes having power and control over me alot of the time. And i have tried to talk to a school consler. i told them i had thoughts of sucide, some of my friends even went to the principal telling him they were scared i would take my life and all the councler did was say we will talk somemore so i dont know. Its like every time things get good and im finally in a good mood my dad does something to bring me down. Any advice?
Sounds like you need to put your foot down with your father and really tell him what's up. Don't say, "I don't like when you ... it makes me feel ..." That clearly doesn't work for this situation. Tell him, "I have been having suicidal thoughts. If something does not change, I fear for my life. We need to go to family councelling because our relationship is not working."
Tell him when he's not busy. Look him in the eyes. Say it forcefully. That way he can't be stubborn and just pretend like there is no problem.
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my friend is really stressed and sad she said handle whats going on with her life right now what can i do or any advice to help make it feel better?
Let your friend know that you are there for her and will be no matter what. Tell her that she can talk to you about anything and vent to you whenever she needs to. Then plan a night out for just the two of you. Go see a movie or have a girls night in and watch some silly, girly movies. Paint your nails, do face masks, eat ice cream. You know, typical girly stuff. This will make her feel like a normal girl. (not saying she's not :D) But this will make her feel like she is in a normal situation and just doing normal, girly things. Try to keep an eye on her and ask her how she's feeling so that she knows you care and are committed to making her happy and stress-free.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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a skinny girl or a a thick girl. not fat but curvy.
This 100% depends on individual preferance. I know guys that like curvy girls, guys that like skinny girls, and guys that like overweight girls. It all depends on the guy.
Darby(:
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so im engaged to this guy..have been for two years... he lives in iowa and i in cali..dont worry he just moved there.. well he went there cuz i thought i didnt wanna get married now i do and i know for sure. my family dont want me to talk to him and dont know i do and i think im gonna just up and leave and marry him.. is it a bad idea. i dotn have a job there and he hasnt gotten a place yet i was gonna wait a lil while before i go but wat should i do
You should wait. Once he has a job and a place to live, he will be able to support you until you get a job there. Don't move to Iowa on a whim because you think you want to marry this man. A move that big is a huge deal whether it seems like it right now or not. If he wants to marry you, he will give you some time. And if you want to marry him, you will give him time to get a place to stay.
Hope this helps and good luck!
Darby(:
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kay so,
i like these to guys one is named robert and one is named david.
david has a girlfriend but i really like him.
and robert always cancels when we are supposed to hang out.
what do i do?
thanks to who helps :)
I'm going to be completely honest with you and say don't choose either! One of them has a girlfriend and the other is flaky. You deserve someone that is committed to you and wants to hang out! Move on and find a guy that will treat you well! It doesn't mean you can't remain friends with these boys. But I'd leave it at that for now and keep an open mind about other relationships.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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15/f
lately ive been having these weird thoughts, i dont know if it means anything or what but please help and leave your opinion!
-sometimes when im holding a sharp knife and my someones around i think about what would happen if i stabbed them! NOT TAHT I WOULD! I PROMISE it just crosses my mind!
-im on a second story floor, and look down and wonder what would happen if i just hopped over and jumped!I WASNT CONSIDERING IT (oh yea this is when i realized maybe i was becoming suicidal?)
-i was holding my dog and thought what if i dropped him down the stairs(PROMISE I WOUDLNT!!I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY)
-a kid was standing near by me and i wondered what would happen if i grabbed him and ran
OKAY I PROMISE I WASNT CONSIDERING ANY OF THIS IT JUST CROSSED MY MIND AND I DONT KNOW WHY I EVEN THOUGHT OF IT IN THE FIRST PLACE
-even though i wasnt considering any of this i just wanted to know if you think it will effect me in the long run.
pleasepleaseplease any advice is helpful! and maybe if you think its physological problems ask me any questions i really need help on this! please and thankyou soo much!
You are perfectly normal! They're just these slight mental compulsions like 'what if..?' You're even saying that you would never do these things and that you don't want to. It's just your mind being curious and wandering a bit. It won't affect you in the long run as long as you are positive that you aren't going to do any of these things. The only way this will affect you is if you start doing them. Other than that, just laugh them off. When you think something like that, say in your head, "Ha, that's silly. What am I thinking?" And then let it go. Don't think anymore about it or if it's normal or not.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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15/f.
im the oldest in my family, my parents are both asian and the strictest on me.i guess i can say im "white washed" but there still really strict. anyway theyve always told me to go to university and always tell me education is very important, and i know it is. but up until this year i didnt really know why people didnt go to university after high school, i kinda thought it was the only thing to do.(also i am lucky because i get to go on vacation a lot..they give me lots of oppurtunities)
what im trying to say is, ive lost my motivation and i dont even know if i want to go to university after high school, do you think im just over reacting becuase i feel so restricted and im lucky(becuase i get sooo mad that my parents are strict, i cry about it a lot), or do you think maybe university may not be right for me.
-also i dont really feel like going to university because how far can it even get me? and how far can i get without it?
oh and do u have any advice about hwo to deal with my parents, becasue i dont know what to do!
I think you're probably just wanting to break free from the restrictions your parents have given you. You're wanting to rebel against what they want you to do. Trust me, you need to go to university. It's very hard to get much above minimum wage without a degree. It is possible to move up the corporate ladder. But it takes years of extremely hardwork that you could forgo by getting a degree and being a step ahead to begin with.
You need to talk to your parents. Try to sit them down and tell them that you're feeling oppressed and pushed down my their constant strictness. Tell them that because they're pressuring you into doing everything, your heart isn't in it. They need to know that unless they lighten up, you're going to rebel against what they want you to do.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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Okay, So I am 13 and me and my friends want to do a wiji board. We were thinking of doing it in my room or across the street. But I wanted to know what others think? Like is it safe.. Could we be harmed and if you have done it, do you regret it? And how many people do you need. We were just going to do it with 4 people all girls. And we are all 13. And I don't have the board yet. & Is it true that you cant get rid of them easily?
Well, this all depends on your beliefs. I don't believe in wiji boards controlling anything or having any connection to things no longer of this world. I've been in the room with people who have done it and nothing has ever happened. It's just silly. But if you have precautions and aren't sure you're up for it, just skip out. You'll see that you aren't missing out on much.
Hope this helps!
Darby (:
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16/f I want to have a big birthday party this year to make up for my complete lack of a party last year. The problem is that I don't have anyone to help be plan a party, and aside from that, I have a limited number of friends who don't know one another very well and belong to different cliques. Is there a good way to bring all my friends together for a party with minimal awkwardness. Also, any sort of party suggestions are welcome.
PS- my birthday's in two weeks but I'd probably having the party the week after that.
In order to bring all of your friends together with little awkwardness, there needs to be a lot going on. Give your party a theme, like a luau or 80's night, disco, something like that. That way you can have music playing all the time and people will be all dressed up. Remember to tell people to dress up. Have a place set up for people to dance. Have a table with food and drinks. Invite a lot of people, even if they're outside of your friend cliques. That way there will be tons of people and no one will expect to know everyone. Just make sure that you know all the people that come because it is your party after all.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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ok this is embarrasing.
13/f
i have a sore on my bum, not in it but on it. it is all pussy and infected. i tried putting antiseptic on it but it doesn't help. i took it off once to try and squeeze the pus out but it didn't help. the thing is it keeps cracking when i walk and sit down. it really hurts sometimes. does anyone know of something that would help?
thanks
Even if it's embarrassing, you defintely need to see a doctor. It sounds like it's infected and the only thing that gets rid of an infection is antibiotics. No home remedies will help, make an appointment.
Hope this helps,
Darby
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Okay, I apologize if this question is asked often, because I hate reading repeated questions, but I don't recall seeing it, otherwise I wouldn't have asked lol.
Can being fingered prevent a girl's period?
Quick question, so I'll give a quick answer(: No, being fingered can't prevent a girl's period.
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13/f
i haven't gotten my period yet but i have been getting vaginal discharge for about a year now. the thing is sometimes my stomach (down near my bladder) hurts so much it makes me cry. i have tried nurofen, panadol, ibuprofen,and normal paracetamol. these help a bit but the cramps still hurt. i don't want to be stuffing myself with pain killers all the time. are there any herbal teas or food, even massages that i can do myself which would help?
any help would be appreciated
thanks
When I have cramps, I always take a hot bath and just soak in it for 30 minutes to an hour. Then I'll do some sort of excercise that involves my stomach, like laying on your back and lifting your legs off the ground. After that, try putting a heating pad on your lower abdomen.
The only herbal tea that I know of that helps is ginger root tea. I've never drank it because I don't like tea. But my grandmother says it works wonders.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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HELP!
I used a new acne medication, and now have burns on my face from it. I was unaware that i couldn't have direct contact with the sun while using it, and laid out the next day after using it. I am so embarrassed to go out in public, and i am in pain. I need a quick healing remedy for these burns. (in case it matters, the medication i used was atralin). I've been applying neosporin. but it's not working =(
Ouch ): You should definitely try some Aloe Vera. It cools your face down and feels amazing when you have a burn!
Feel better!
Darby
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16/f
Right, so i really like this guy(who is 16), but the problem is he has a girlfriend, but liek two weeks before he started dating her he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said no cause i didn't think i lieked him liek that, anyway now i do. Would it be so dreadful for me to flirt with him a little and try n win him back? Any tips are useful, ty.
:3
Although it may seem fun right now to play your cards and try to steal this guy, it will definitely not be fun when his current girlfriend finds out about it. Plus, you don't even know if it will work. Can you imagine if you tried it and he told her about it? Then, not only would you have this girl extremely angry with you, you would also still be single. It would be very embarrassing. If I were you, I would wait until this guy is single again. Try to remain his friend though, that way when things in their relationship mess up, you'll be their to comfort him. Catching my drift? XD
Hope this helps(:
Darby
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Okay so, how should I put this, there are bright spots that are few and in between...I love my fam to death except for one. WHat should I do? Issues, issues. I hate my sister, she's a complete and toatal bitch. SHe's always rude and mean to me I don't know how to handel it?
If I were you, I would try to talk to my sister. Tell her that the way she acts hurts your feelings. Try telling her that you would like to have a good relationship with her. If she doesn't fall in line, try talking to your parents. Tell them what she is doing and how it makes you feel. Maybe your parents can calmly talk to her and let her know what she's doing and how she can help make your relationship better.
Also, try hanging out with your friends more and involving yourself in an aesthetic hobby that can become an outlet for stress. Whether it's drawing, writing, music, movies, books, etc. They can help to keep you calm when life gets to be a bit too much. If you find something that you are good at and enjoy, you will have something to do when you get down that will take your mind off of the situation.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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ok well.......I'm with this guy. It's only been a few weeks. It all started on a night out when he kissed me and it kind of went from there...I went with it cos I like him and it was really fun so...it was good for a while. But you see,I've liked this other guy for like I dunno,three years or so now? You know the way there's always one person you REALLY like even if you sorta like other people? Well,yeah it's like that...So now it's not really workin out with this guy and I still like the other guy obviously,since I never stopped liking him. Don't really know how to handle the situation and me and the guy I'm with hang in the same group so if a break up is messy,it would be terrible...So yeah,any ideas?
I think you should definitely leave the guy you're with. It's not fair to him for you to be with him if you're not feeling it. I think you should date other people, even though you have liked another guy for three years. If something hasn't happened between the two of you in the past three years, it's best to move forward and date other people. But only if you like the other people you're dating!
You do have to be careful though, since this guy is in your same circle of friends. Just tell him in private that you are not sure that this relationship is working out for you and that he deserves to be with someone that is 100% ready for a relationship with him. Tell him that you'd like to remain friends though. If the opportunity comes up within the next couple weeks to hang out with him and your group of friends at the same time, do it. This will show that you really do want to remain friends and it won't leave enough time for the friendship to get awkward.
As for the guy you've liked for three years, you should talk to him. See how he feels about you. You'll never know how he feels if you don't ask him, and three years is a long time to waste dreaming about someone that you're not with. If there is no possibility for a relationship there, do your best to move forward.
You deserve a relationship with someone that is 100% into being in a relationship with you, just like your current boyfriend deserves.
Hope this helps!
Darby(:
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