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why is this happening?
15/f
sorry this is so long.
i used to SI (self injure) like cutting and burning myself but i had to tell my boyfriend about it. i told him about 5 months ago and we have been together for about 8. after i told him i really tried to stop and i did for a little while. i havent cut (which was what i usually did) in about 4 months but now for some reason the urges i get seem to be uncontrolable. i knew that before i tried to stop i was going to get urges but i havent cut in so long and i figured they would be gone by now and they are not. well i tlod my boyfiend about the urges i still get because he is the only person i cant anything and everything to and he made me promise i would talk to my mum about it but i dont see the point because she cant do anything about it to help me. only my dad can because he has custody of me and he wont, he would just call me crazy and resent me like he did last time. i have seen a couseler before and the guy i saw was really wierd and i hated talking to him, although some of what he said helped me. i wouldnt mind gonig back into counseling with a different person but i cant tell my dad because he doesnt think i need to. and maybe i dont but whatever. i just want the urges to stop so i dont start cutting again. i know the little tricks like snapping a rubber band on my wrist. i tried that but it's not enough. i like the feeling of pain. i know how corny this all sounds.
anything to help is wonderful. thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
First of all its not corny its a serious situation.
second, i understand almost exactly what you're going through, it will be my 5th month of not cutting this month. I'm sorry to say the urges never go away, you can try everything in the book but until you settle it in your mind that it is just as satisfying then you wont feel like it is.
about the whole going to a counseler, i think its a good idea, only becuase thats what helped me. telling your parents may not help you alot but they need to be aware of whats going on in your life. you dont have to tell them every little detail, and i dont suggest it, just tell them the basics. you can also go to your local bookstore and look at some books on it,
if you want more advice feel free to talk anytime.
hope i helped a little.
-kaleigh
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I know how it goes. Been there for a few years. However, I agree with the first response - be proud of yourself for resisting for as long as long as you have. It's been over 2 years since I stopped, but I still sometimes want to cut. I feel like it's sort of an addiction - basically you get addicted to the pain, but also to the release of chemicals that happens when you're in pain.
If you don't have the support system at home (sounds like you don't), is there any way you can speak with a school counselor? I know they're not always the best, but it might be somewhere to start. Plus, it sounds like your boyfriend is some support, and really some support is better than none.
What I do now is clench my hands so tightly that my nails bite into my palms but since my nails won't actually get through the skin of my palms, I don't have the scars and bleeding, but it still hurts. It doesn't actually leave damage and it might be helpful to decrease the desire for the chemical release.
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I know exactly how you feel. I cut for 4 years. And it's been two years since I have but I STILL get urges. SI is an addiction just like alcohol or drugs. It's very hard to stop and the urges can seem almost unbearable. But you should be giving yourself a pat on the back! You've gone 4 months without cutting. You should be very proud of yourself. The rubberband thing never worked for me either. Instead, when I get these urges, I immediately put my mind somewhere else. I call someone, start reading, start watching a movie, play a video game. Anything that will occupy my mind. And honestly, it is extremely hard at first. The thoughts just stay in your mind and it's so hard to get them out. But after a while, when I started doing something else in order to keep myself from cutting, it actually worked. Now, when I get the urges, all I have to do is call someone up or put a movie in, and my mind is totally indulged in the conversation or movie plot. You're doing a great job so far, keep it up! You need to get a support system, which it sounds like you somewhat have from your boyfriend. I didn't get support from my parents either. I found support in my boyfriend. Tell him that these urges are going to happen for a while, but that they will slowly die down. (I don't get them nearly as much now. Sometimes I'll go a couple months without one urge!) Tell him that you need him for support and that you're going to call him when you get an urge like that. I'm sure he will be okay with this since he really seems to want you to stop.
I hope this helps(:
Darby
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