Gender:
FemaleLocation:
MichiganAge:
18Member Since:
January 23, 2007Answers:
806Last Update:
June 16, 2008Visitors:
40467Main Categories:
Love Life
Pets
General Sex Questions
View All
about
My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
hi.one day me and a couple of my friends were discussing some of the girl's eyes(without makeup) and how beautiful some were.i got lost since i don't really know how to tell the difference so........how do you describe nice eyes?cause i'm quite curious and confused.first,a friend of mine said it's about size,colour,shape and pupil size.is that true
if so,what
1)size? like small or big?
2)colour? i know blue eyes are wanted
3)shape? like oval or circular or squarish?
4)pupil size? i think big or full is wanted
5)besides that,i think that eyebrows and eyelashes play a part in nice eyes too.is that true?
p.s.:i prefer thicker eyelashes by the way.what do you think
Really it is a matter of opinion.
1) With size it's hard to tell because it depends on the other facial features the person has and how well the shape goes with their facial structure.
2) blue eyes are pretty popular, but something as simple as brown can be just as beautiful. Again, it depends on the person. Green is really nice too in my opinion.
3) Shape is the same as size: it depends on the facial structure of the person. Like if a person had huge, round eyes and a tiny head, it wouldn't be too attractive. It's all about proportion.
4) Pupil size is a ridiculous thing to judge. Your pupils are always changing size depending on the light conditions.
5) Thick, dark, curled eyelashes look the nicest to me. Few people can get that naturally (without mascara).
ok so i have a lot of guy friends. i dunno if they are in love with me .....hehe
and every single mother of those guys hate me. i don't get it. is it cuz i'm a girl or what?
i'm not in love with any of these guys , and i never flirt with them or something like that. we just hang out cuz i get along with guys much better then with girls.
Why don't you show them how nice and responsible you can be? I'm sure they'll like you a lot better then. Offer to help with the dishes, make sure you always clean up after yourself when you're at their house, make conversations with their mothers, etc. I'm sure they'll like you a lot better once they get to know you.
Ok so I'm usually a fairly polite kid to adults (exceopt my parents but w/e) Ne way, my b/f and I have been together for about a year but his mom hates me. She often says harsh things hidden under sweet comments and I know my b/f hears her but never stands up for me. I always want to rebel and say something back but I'm not sure. Is it better to take it and show her I'm a good person? Or talk back and show her I can defend myself? Please help.
You should definately take it and be the better person. It would be best to show her how much more mature you are than she is.
The only time I feel it would be appropriate to stand up for yourself is if she bad talks your friends or your family. In that case, it would be polite to say something like, "I beg your pardon, but I don't appreciate the things you say about the people I love. You have your opinion, but you don't need to say things like that. Especially when I can hear you."
If the things she says about you really start to bother you, I don't see anything wrong with calmly talking to her about it and discussing why she has such a big problem with you. Your boyfriend should be included in the discussion as well.
My boyfriend Anton broke up with me on Valentine's Day and said that we were taking space from each other for the past four weeks I was under the impression we were still going out I called him on his cell-phone and find out his new-girlfriend was on the phone .I told him about it he claims that they are just friends then I started talking to him and we been talking over since now the funny thing is his Dad told me not to called on the phone but I called anyways I talk to his Grandmother and his mom and have not got my self yell out .He claims that I do not respect him and that their is drama and it is my fault and his bitch of a girlfriend says she is going to kick my ass because I am bothering her which is funny because I have only talk to her twice .She says move on he has then way does he still talk to me like a boyfriend does why do we gave advice when needed why do we flirt with each other .I think her problem is why is her boyfriend still talking to his ex .Plus everything that comes out of her mouth she says that she is going to and her step-brother does not help he yells at stupid stuff if I called Anton or text him he uses her cell-phone and says things like fuck you bitch and you are dumb just things that are mean plus he saids that he will kick my ass Anton girlfriend will kick my ass so my question is where is the drama coming from and what can each party do about it .I still care for him but he brought this on himself instead of working it out he is runaway from the problem
I have a few questions for you: why are you even bothering with these people? Why would you have feelings for someone that basically ditched you and got another girlfriend that likes to threaten you? Why do you even let them call you names like "bitch" and "dumb?"
The drama is coming from everyone really.
Cause #1 - Anton broke up with you and gave you the impression that you were still going out, but then he got another girlfriend. He still leads you on, obviously, because you actually think you still have a chance with him.
Cause #2 - Anton's new girlfriend feels obligated to stick her nose in your's and Anton's business and threaten you because she's obviously insecure and fears he will go back to you.
Cause #3 - Even after all that, you still have feelings for Anton, so you keep trying to work things out with him, you keep taking insults from them, and you're convinced all this trouble is worth it.
Anton is immature for all the things he has done. You are immature for not realizing that this whole thing is a big waste of your time and energy. There are better guys out there. Why even bother with these people anymore? Just ignore them and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. You'll be less stressed, you won't have to worry about arguing with people, and you'll find that there truly are better people out there to hang out with.
I don't know how old you are, but judging by how horrible your grammar is in your question, I'm guessing you're pretty young. Maybe instead of wasting your time on Anton, you could take an english class and maybe meet a new guy there while at the same time learning how to actually use punctuation and write elligible sentences.
Forgive me if I misunderstood your question. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if I could actually understand half the things you said. You were probably hoping I would tell you "Oh he's mean and you're perfect you did nothing wrong you deserve better!" But you know what? Maybe you do deserve better, but you're just at much at fault as Anton. Once you can realize that, you can get more confidence and be a better person.
I wish you the best of luck.
I'm 14 and wear I 34A...I will consider it small for my age, but I'm curious, am I done growing? What can I do to see that I am done? Someone said you rub them and see if they are around? Thanks!
You aren't even close to being done growing. You'll probably reach your full potential around age 21. The best way to tell if your breasts are fully developed is how the nipples are. Your doctor has lots of charts about the stages of nipple development. When they are fully developed, they will usually be a little smaller than the size of your palm.
I've licked this guy 4 a LONG time and he i don't even know if he likes me but I really I don't care any way were in 7 th grade and he got yelled at and he cried and I'm into manlyer guys and everyones makeing fun of him I don't know what to do some peps. r jokeing at me 4 likeing him they keep asking me if I like manly men (as a joke) but I don't know what 2 do?
please help,
They're just being stereotypical. Everyone cries. Everone has feelings. They need to get over themselves.
You cannot help who you like. Why would you let anyone make you feel badly about liking the person you do?
Instead of letting those kids make fun of him, be there for him. Be someone that sticks up for him and is there for him. Assure him that you don't think he's weak for crying. I'm sure he'll love you for the extra support.
15/f. ok so when i straighten my hair i would like their to still be a little volume to in, maybe by the scalp. how can i do this?
The best way to do that is the blow dry your hair, paying particular attention to the scalp. Take a large, flat brush and comb the hair on top of your hair upward while blow-drying it. If and when you use a straigtener, only use it on the ends past your ears. That should give your scalp some volume.
What do you do when your friend makes a big life choice and you think to yourself, "Wtf? She's going to hurt herself so much!"? What do you do when your friend asks for your advice, you name the pitfalls you can see and give her suggestions on how to avoid or lessen them, but she goes ahead and makes a probably hurtful decision anyway? What do you do when your friend makes a decision and you are both excited for her but also aware that it probably won't end well? What do you do when your friend can see the pitfalls in front of her but doesn't do anything to avoid them?
All you can do is let your friend live and learn from her own mistakes. Just make sure you're there for her when she does fall. People make stupid decisions in life. It's inevitable. All you can really do about it is let that person know you care and you don't want anything bad to happen to them.
ok so i have a problem...is it normal for your vagina to smell? even when you take showers every other day and wash "down there"??? also...what do gynecologists do cuz i am scared to go to one!!!
Yes yes... odor is perfectly normal. It's nothing to be embarassed about. Every girl's vagina has a different odor. It's good that you wash it and keep it clean. If you're really concerned about the smell, try wearing pantyliners with frangrances in them (as long as you don't have sensitive skin, you won't get a rash or anything) and those can help absorb the smell.
Gynecologists are your friend. They are no one to be scared of. They bascially make sure your "happy place" is healthy and disease free! The perform a procedure called a "pap smear." Women (15 and up I think?) should get a pap smear once every year. This is what happens:
You go to an examining room just like any other doctor's appointment. They usually take your temp., blood pressure, etc. just because that stuff is routine. Then, the doctor will come in and discuss the procedure. He or she will give you a gown to change into and then they leave the room for a couple minutes. Then, you undress, put on the gown, and wait for them to come back. When the doctor comes back in, they're going to take out this big metal clamp that will look really scary and painful, but I promise it won't hurt when they insert it into your vagina. At most you will feel a little pressure. When they insert the clamp, they swab the walls of your vagina with a Q-tip so they can test you for any diseases. He or she will also inspect your ovaries for any abnormalties. After that you can change back into your clothes and toss the gown into the garbage.
And that's it! Need anything else let me know!
ok i am a teenager and i really need help! so i just got my period and there is one problem...when i tried to put in a tampon>>>i couldn't find the hole it goes in :-*( please dont laugh at me...it is extremely embarassing and i dont know what to do... i know it is there though HELP.
It helps to try and find it with your fingers first. It's pretty far back there... maybe and inch or so from your anus. After you've found in with your fingers, try inserting the tampon then. It helps to be calm and have relaxed muscles while inserting it.
ok, 14/f. ok. long story short- my parents freaking drive my insane. i'm not even kidding. they are CRAZY. for example. this just happend like, 10 min. ago. today i went to target, and i got a new showercurtain for my closet door. i know, it sounds weird- a showercurtain for a closet door, but its acutally pretty cool. anyways, my room is tropical, so i got a vinal showercurtain. when i took it out of the package, it smelled pretty strong. so my mom and i go into my room to hang it up. we hang it up and my room smells really strong. so my parents are getting ready to go to bed, and i'm on the computer and talking to my friend on the phone, and i see my dad coming through the back door with my showercurtain. and i said "what are you doing?!" and he and my mom was like "you have asthma, it is too strong for you.. bla bla bla. " so i start getting really pissed because they shouldn't be able to just go into my room, and take down my stuff. like seriously? wtf?? omg the drive me nuts. so my dad takes the curtain out to the grage and hangs it up somewhere. well, it is a grage, and it is dirty, so it will get dirty out there. and my parents are just like "it needs to air out" so now i'm going to spend $15 for something that is going to get dirty. my parents do stuff like this ALL OF THE TIME. they always team up against me, and never listen to what i have to say. i feel like i'm just here for.. well, i don't know why i'm in this world. my parents drive me so nuts, i never tell them anything. like what goes on in school, when i'm having problems with a friend or somthing. i just don't know what to do anymore. i've delt with this for a while, and i just need some help. so any advice?? please??! thanks so much!
Next time they bother you with something like that, before you start to get upset, think to yourself: is this REALLY that big of a deal? Is this going to matter in the next five years? Why do I think my parents are doing this? Take the shower curtain for example: it's a big deal because I spent my own money on it. It's not going to matter in the next five years because I probably won't even live here anymore. My parents are just doing that because they are concerned about my health. And you know what? Shower curtains are washable. So if it does get dirty, it's not something that you can't fix.
The truth is, you're stuck with your parents for a long time. Try and make things easier for yourself and talk yourself through the situations where they drive you crazy. Perhaps if you started telling them about things going on in your life, they'll understand you better and you will get along better. Respect isn't a one-way street. If you want them to start understanding you and treating you better, you need to try to do the same for them. It's hard, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Hope this helps.
Is there anyway someone can get pregnant while on birth control? How effective is it against pregnancy? And, if you are having sex with a partner you have had over a year, and you know neither of you two have any diseases, should you still use a condom? Why or why not?
Yes you CAN get pregnant even if you're on BC. It is 90% effective against pregnancy. Even if your partner doesn't have any diseases, it's still important to use a condom because there is still a risk of pregnancy. All BC does is alter your ovulating system; meaning it doesn't stop you from ovulating, so you can still get pregnant.
Well me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 3 weeks now everything is going good except I’m thinking he is ready to move to the next stage which is sex and I haven’t had sex before so I was wondering if you can give me some pointers like can you keep your shirt on because I am not big at all my boobs are a 34A and im sure he wants a bigger girls so how do you have sex and how do you put on a condom and is there anything else I can use as protection except birth control and he’s slept with girls before so should I make him go get a test for stds cause im worried he might have something
1) He needs to get tested for STD's ASAP. If he's not willing to do that, dump him. If he won't get tested, he doesn't care about your safety, which SHOULD be his number one concern.
2) Of course you can keep your shirt on. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable. If he keeps trying to take it off, gently push his arms away and if he doesn't stop trying, tell him you're cold and you want to keep it on or something.
3) There are directions on how to put on a condom on the inside of the box. He basically just rolls it on.
4) Another tip I like to give out, before he enters you, MAKE SURE you touch his penis to make sure he actually has a condom on. Some guys like to lie because they don't like wearing them, and that's how girls get pregnant, so make sure you check.
5) I'm relieved you're worried about safety precautions and protection. I highly recommend you get on birth control for at least a month BEFORE you two have sex. Better safe than sorry. It's really easy to get too. If you call your doctor's office, tell them the situation (that you have limited imcome and you don't want your parents to know) and they WILL set up an appointment for you to get it and will find a way to help you pay for it. Either that or go to planned parenthood. Condoms are a must for safety as well.
6) I'm going to warn you right now, your first few times having sex are really really really really going to hurt. That's why it's really important for him to take it slow. Don't be afraid to tell him if he's hurting you and that he needs to slow down.
7) I know you're going to hate me for this one, but hear me out, okay? You've only been dating this guy for 3 weeks and he already wants to sleep with you... that sounds pretty shady if you ask me. It's been barely a month. Plus, you say he's slept with a lot of other girls too, so sex obviously isn't a big deal to him, he just does it because it feels good. Look at all the girls he's been with and look where there are now. Chances are 9 out of 10 that after he sleeps with you, you'll end up just like them. You should think about that before tossing him your virginity.
That's all I have for now. I'm sure I forgot something in there so I might add to it later. Good luck!
My girls got a guy friend comin over to visit from out of state and says she doesnt want him to know about us because she thinks hes crushin on her and she doesnt want to hurt his feelings sense they have been friends for so long. Now they r gonna be spending a week together and im pretty much not invited. Now that seems a little off to me and i dont know exactly how to approach this because im alot newer than him and i stand a better chance at gettin the boot but im really into this girl. At the same time grittin my teeth, smile'n and toughin it out aint soundin like so much fun for me either. What should i do?
Tell your girlfriend about your concerns. If she cares about you, she'll understand. There's no reason she can't intoduce you two as friends and maybe you can hang out with them a few days out of the week that he'll be there. Ask your girlfriend straight out if she has feelings for this guy. If she doesn't, then there is no reason he can't know she has a boyfriend. It would be better to hurt his feelings now than let his crush build up and get hurt worse later.
Okay well everyone is telling me that my hair would look better if it were a light brown.
I have dirty blonde hair now, and i wanted to know which brand have you tried/or suggest that I should use just for a temporary,like a few weeks or something and where can I get it?
If I like it then I'll go more drastic and go to a salon but for right now i just want to test it,Thanks!
I would suggest using "Natural Instincts Semi-Permanent hair color." The color lasts a few weeks and the formula makes your hair shiny and won't cause as much damage as other dyes. It smells really good too.
This past week, I've had two dreams with basically the same basis. Fire. And I'm not exactly sure why.
The first dream happened around Saturday-ish. I had a dream my aunt's next door neighbor's house got caught on fire. And then I was at the corner of the street with my car [and I don't even drive yet] and my car started to be caught with fire. So I ended up miraculously putting it out, and my parents just came out of nowhere. Then we were driving, and my dad's seat caught on fire [he was driving], and I told him to jump out of the car. So he did, as did my mother and I [where my brother was, I've got no clue], but then the car blew up. And we were on the corner of a pub near my old house. And then I woke up with a feeling something bad was gonna happen. I have a little bit of an ESP power because I know when someone's gonna die, or when something bad is gonna happen. My feelings usually are right. But nothing's happened yet.
Now just yesterday, I was taking a nap, and I had the most horrible dream. My cousin who's my age just had her son in January [I'm 16, she'll be 17 in June], but anyways. My cousin, her sister, her parents, and her son were in my dream. I dreamed they were living in the house I moved out of 7 years ago. The house caught on fire, and the only person I managed to get [I was sleeping over in the dream] was the baby, and I tried getting everyone else, but they just wouldn't wake up. They weren't dead because they were snoring, but I just couldn't wake them up. My cell phone wasn't with me in my dream, and it took me forever to find a phone to call 911. They were all okay even though the house was in a horrible fire, and they were breathing everything in. I woke up with a bad feeling about that too.
I feel like something bad is gonna happen, and I'm not sure what it is yet. I've never dreamt of fire before, so this is quite the eye opener, and I'm scared of fire so maybe I'm just trying to face a fear in my dream, but I honestly doubt that's it. Because of these bad feelings, I've turned off everything that can cause a possible fire, and I've kept my room clean so nothing can spark a fire. I'm extremely cautious of it. I don't want my house to set on fire, because I value my things, but I can't help but to feel something bad's gonna happen.
Why am I dreaming of fire, and why am I so paranoid [though I suffer from it]? I don't want my house to set on fire, or my aunt's neighbor's house to catch fire. She's a lovely woman & she's been friends with my family basically since my aunt was a little girl. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I keep having this feeling. =/ Sometimes I hate knowing when something bad is gonna happen. I've been trying to warn people to be careful because something bad is gonna happen, but when they ask what I can't tell them because I don't even know myself. I'm hoping my dreams can lead me to something, but all they lead me to is a bad feeling, and bad thoughts. =/ Ugh, help?
While I do believe that some dreams can tell what may happen in the near future, I also believe that more than 90% of dreams symbolize the opposite of what they show.
Check out what this website had to say:
http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/f.htm
Depending on the context of your dream, to see fire in your dream can symbolizes destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment, or anger. It may suggest that something old is passing and something new is entering your life. Your thoughts and views are changing. In particular, if the fire is under control or contained in one area, it is a metaphor of your own internal fire and inner transformation. It also represents your drive and motivation.
To dream of that you are being burned by fire, indicates that your temper is getting out of control. Some issue or situation is burning you up inside.
To dream that a house is on fire, indicates that you need to undergo some transformation. If you have recurring dreams of your family house on fire, then it suggests that you are still not ready for the change or that you are fighting against the change. Alternatively, it highlights passion and the love of those around you.
To dream that you put out a fire, signifies that you will overcome your obstacles in your life through much work and effort.
While I'm not disagreeing with you that your dream may predict some sort of danger that may be near, but you shouldn't jump to conclusions.
I, 16/m, should probably tell you now I'm gay or you lose the entire premise of this. okay, so It was New Year's Eve and I called one of my friends (we'll call him Jake for further analysis.) Jake, 14/m, and we started talking. Jake's an eighth grader and I'm a high school sophmore. So I told him that I liked him on New Year's, thinking that he didnt like me back. Well, he did. So we dated for the next week and then I answered the phone and he told me, "your not gonna like this," and I mean, I got pretty scared. Well, then he said, "I gotta go, I'll ttyl," and then right before he hung up, he goes, "I'm straight."
So Im thinking okay, I need to talk to him and see if our friendship is still okay. So I call him back a day later and I told him I'd like to talk about it, and he says, "I dont have any thing else to say." and I got pissed and hung up.
Plus Jake's older brother is a Senior at my school and really popular in the theater dept. like I hope to be. So I got really scared that his brother might find out and just told a few of my friends.
Well, literally, two months passed without me seeing him, and then I went to my schools spring musical and he was there I talked to him during intermission and he still said he didnt know his sexuality. I told him that I thought I deserved an explanation. He said I did, but someone interupted us, and I never got one.
Right as we were going back to our seats I told him that I was over him and that I wanted him out of my life.
I cried through the entire second act, as I was driven home, as I went to sleep, and two days later.
I dont know what to do. I don't want to love him, and he doesnt deserve it, but I do. Please help me. What should I do?
The best thing you can do right now is surround yourself with family and friends that really do care about you. Keep yourself really busy with things you enjoy and make you happy. Throw yourself into spending time with people you care about, your schoolwork, your job (if you have one), the theater, ANYTHING to keep yourself busy and to help get your mind off him. Maybe try going out and joining a new club to meet new people. I'm sure that the more you keep yourself busy and more you put yourself out there, the easier it will be to get over him and find someone else that will give you the respect you deserve.
Since the guy is only in eighth grade, you need to remember that he's young and it wasn't really a good idea to get involved with him since he was still learning about his sexuality. Try going for guys that are closer to your age that are more mature. Good luck!
I have a friend who is a girl and she wears a "promise" ring from her boyfriend on her right ring finger. So I figured that a ring on the right ring finger meant that a girl was taken. Now I have another girl that I like but we're only friends now. She wears a ring in the same place and has been for the 3 months i've known her. Today I find out she doesn't even have a boyfriend! What is the ring for? Why would somebody wear a ring to purposely take themselves off the market if you'll excuse my analogy? And for future reference, what is the significance of girls wearing rings? Thanks
Whichever finger the promise ring is on doesn't even matter. What matters is how the ring is worn. Anyone who wears a promise ring that is taken, has the point of the heart pointing towards their arm. Anyone who is single has the heart pointing to the tip of their fingers. It symbolizes whether your heart is free or taken.
Girls like promise rings because they're cute and cheesy. I personally think it's a sweet way to show that you're with someone you care about.
Just because a girl is wearing a promise ring doesn't mean she's taken. It depends on HOW they wear the ring that shows if they're single or not.
Hey. Well, I'm thirteen and I've only made out with a guy [more than one guy, though]. I'm wondering if it's normal for me to not want to go any farther than that..?
No no no! That's perfectly normal, and responsible, to not want to go any further. This way, you're still satisfying your intimacy curiosity and staying safe at the same time. What is normal? Whatever makes you feel comfortable. And don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.
if ii`m sixteen &&` ii`m dating a 19 or 20 year old is that legal?
It's illegal to have sex with him IF AND ONLY IF you're parents dissaprove. Actually, a 19 or 20-year-old isn't even aloud to kiss a 16-year-old, but like I said, as long as the parents approve, he won't get arrested or anything.