Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29852
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Ok, so my step-sister gave me a doorknob (we are both 13) and she asked me to do more to her feet and fuck her. I really don't know what to do right now because she already knows I liked the doorknob she gave me. Please help. (link)
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Hi there. This post is quite worrying. OK, no blood ties between you so the incestuous relationship thing will never occur. Your step-sister has expressed a clear interest in having sex. And (presumably) you live in the same house, so there will be no shortage of places and opportunities for it to happen. Have either of you thought about the kind of damage it will cause to the relationship between your respective biological parents if you made her pregnant? It would be a frigging disaster! I have no way of knowing how biologically aware either of you are, but I hope neither are thinking that a girl of thirteen cannot get pregnant? Quite simply, if you ejaculate (aka 'cum') inside her even once then it is a dsitinct possibility. Adviceman49's comments and advice are detailed and sound on the subject as a whole. OK, at this age you ARE going both going to feel horny. And there is not the biological brother-sister relationship that forbids even the idea of having sex to virtually all siblings. And you seem to have explored the idea a little already, and admit you enjoyed. OK, that's not a problem. However, you are the one who clearly has doubts (you would not have posted the question otherwise) so I think it's you who should take responsibility for what does or does not take place here. Like adviceman49 suggests, then 'fingering' or 'touching-up' (or whatever term you prefer) for her, and a hand-job for you, or maybe oral sex either way, really is the ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM you should be considering at present. If by chance you chose to ignore all our advice, or if despite your best intentions things get a bit out of hand sometime, at least make sure you have some condoms in a drawer or a coat pocket somewhere in the house and use them. And if you don't want to have any sexual contact at all with her, just say so. There's a whole world of potential boyfriends and girlfriends out there as and when you choose.
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Hi, I'm female, fifteen, and I've been in band for four years now. When I was younger, I used to be able to fall asleep to music, especially classical, but since I've gained a deeper understanding of what I'm hearing, I can't anymore. I'm tangled up in the sound, picking the music, chords, apart. It's an exciting thing for me. Lots of the time, I'll hear something that totally enthralls me, I get super excited. I tense up, clench and unclench my fists, and take in a really sharp breath, sometimes it's a sharp gasp. And I feel like I can Physically feel the music. It's the most amazing feeling ever. I started trying to figure out what it was and I think It's almost like sexual excitement, but without the "lusty" feeling. What is this and why do I experience this? And, would anyone know if it's normal to hear music you've never heard before in your dreams? Thanks in advance! :D (link)
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We all seem to have emotional/psychological responses and reactions to music. On a basic level, music can sound happy, sad, can stir or subdue, and in cases almost paint vivid pictures in our minds. The mechanism has always defied a scientifically rigorous explanation. We do not really 'know' the precise nature of the bridge (as it were) between music and feelings. And so music is considered the highest of the high arts. Painting and sculpture for instance are representative, they have a real-life model (even the whole form of art I'm going to bundle-up together as 'abstract'...which still represents a concept, if not a physical presence). Music represents nothing but itself. It has what we call artistic autonomy. The instruments of the orchestra, to an electric guitar do not imitate any sound we find in nature. They sound like themselves, they define themselves. True autonomy!!YOU are connecting and interacting with music on a very high level indeed by the sound of it. Your undertsanding of the structure of music is enhancing the experience further still. As an example, without this knowledge one might think a little tune 'sounds Japanese'. You could no doubt identify the particular tonal progressions and sequences which epitomise Japanese music, and know WHY it sounds Japanese? And so on. You're definitely engaging with music on a high emotional and intellectual plateau here. I can't tell you why or how. The fact that your subconscious, sleeping mind 'conjures up new music' does not surprise me one one bit. The sensation of 'physically feeling' the music is also not a surprise. There's not really space to go into long discussions about neuro-transmitters and the like, and I doubt it would interest you much. Just think that we will all find our hands tremble when experiencing extreme excitement, stress will make us sweat more, a shock will make your stomach suddenly 'churn' and so on. The similarity with sexual excitement you have noted yourself. Don't try to explain it, just enjoy what you have. A deep connection with music. Try to channel those 'new music in your dreams' ideas into composing, maybe? You're a lucky lady, and I should say one way or another music is going to be a huge feature of your life, all your life.
ps. Taste is personal and individual, but if you want to run yourself through all the human emotions, try Piano Concert No.2 in C Minor, and 'Rhapsody on a theme of Paganini' by a brilliant Russian composer named Sergei Rachmaninov. You may already know of these pieces? XX
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I use to use pads but I find them uncomfortable and I don't like sticking things up my vagina because I'm only 13, so what I do is roll up toilet paper ( so it almost looks like a tampon) and put it securely between the lips and it never falls out and it's always comfortable and there's no leakage as long as it's changed every few hours. Is this ok? (link)
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To the male observer, there strike me as a very wide variety of pads and liners etc out there, and whenever I've been asked to pick any up for someone the lady in question has been very particualr about me getting the right one! From which I can only assume that they have found a weight, shape and form etc that suits them perfectly, and is effective and comfortable. Have you tried different ones and compared them? Looked at them etc? Apologies if you have already compared the market, as you might say, and they're ALL uncomfortable. I'm sure the female advisors will have more to add than me on the subject. But really...there are mega shelf-loads in a big chemists store. I've spent ages trying to find one I was sent for...and feeling a bit self-conscious in the process...as you might imagine!! X
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I'm a 14 year old girl and there's a job that I want to have when I'm older and I don't know what it's called or if it's a real job at all. I've always had incredibly strong senses of empathy and sympathy so I'm always wanting to help people. The job I want is going around to different troubles countries and helping those who are starving and need medical help that they can't get in their countries. If obviously be putting myself in very dangerous positions sometimes but I'd rather die young changing the world than die of old age at home after a life of changing nothing. I'd also need to get some kind of doctoral training to get a ton of medical knowledge. Is this actually a career I can pursue? (link)
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All this aid work calls for a great deal of administration. Arranging finance and logistics, co-ordinating and managing the project. Making sure the right resources and people get to the right place, at the right time. This is ultimately based at the home offices of the aid organisations. Maybe you could make this aspect of humanitarian aid your career? It's every bit as essential as being 'out on-site' as you might say. You aren't a doctor yourself, but you make sure the doctors get there. You can't drive a bulldozer to clear fallen buildings, but you arrange for the heavy plant and machinery and drivers to be on the scene, soon as possible. You will be changing the world, making a difference. Like we said at the start, these great acts of aid don't just happen. Medical, logistical and financial aid do not 'just arrive' by magic. They need massive feats of organisation. How does that sound?
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I am 12 and I watch porn is that bad
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Hi there. 12 is well below the age restriction to legally acquire and watch porn. But we have to be realistic and the internet has made such age restrictions impossible to enforce. The number of girls and guys of 12 who 'have have got porn on their phones' or 'watched porn on their laptop' and so on is going to be quite high. In the 14-15 age group (still technically illegal) it will be higher still. When something is so widespread it is hard to say if it is right or wrong, good or bad. I assume you first viewed porn out of curiosity? And I have to assume that you did not find what you saw shocking, disgusting or upsetting in some way? If these assumptions are correct then one has to say that it has not harmed you in any way, so it cannot be said to be bad, as such. At the end of the day, it is only pictures. If the actors/models in the pictures/video were consenting adults aged 18 or over at the time of filming then nothing illegal or unacceptable has taken place in filming and distributing the material. (Child-pornography is of course a VERY different matter. Just the existence of images proves that real, very unpleasant, illegal and unacceptable acts have taken place...and anyone even wishing to view images like this is behaving in an unacceptable way. I hope you are NOT accessing and viewing anything like this, even by accident?).
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Hello ladies and gents, my question is really lame and still i am so very nervous about not being able to solve it on my own. So any opinion is much much appreciated.
I studied fine arts, fashion design in college and i want to have a master's degree, for that i've applied for an arabian airlines called 'emirates' as a stewardess. The plan wasto work there for say, three years and save up for my masters.
But then, a nice job offer came to me from a well known fashion designer, it doesn't pay well and the hours are terrible, the job itself is very demanding and it is more like being an assistand instead of actually getting to design anything. Basically being around taking notes and making phone calls and tending to clients. Yeah.
So now i cannot decide. The first job has nothing to do with my career whatsoever , i'll have to move to dubai, it will just be an interesting thing i've done when i was young, and help me save money because it pays better. It will allow me to actually have a masters degree in europe. But as i was saying, it's irrelevant and i will be doing it for years.
The second job is a well known fashion brand so it's related, it will look nice in my cv, it is very low pay and very demanding. If i do this, i won't be getting my masters because i'll be working in my own field now, and i'll be needed in my own country.
I have no idea what to do, i cannot decide whether take the fashion job and develop a career out of it step by step, or go save money as a stewardess and have my masters in europe. I made pros and cons lists, i've asked friends and family, i just can't decide.
Please, please please share your opinion with me.
I only have till thursday...
Thanks in advance :) (link)
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You clearly love fashion and design. When applying for the stewardess position the motive was to fund further education in this area, and you had no real interest in the job per se. The fashion job is not strictly designing, as you say. But it does put you in the right place, meeting and working with the right people. Putting you in direct touch with the customers. At the end of the day, the customer is perhaps the most important person even in the apparently 'art for arts sake' world of fashion. It is a business, like any other. Perhaps you have the technical skills and creative flair to forge a career in fashion. But working as a stewardess for an airline....who will ever know? Will you ever know yourself? Not really for me to advise, but I know what I would do.
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About 2-3 years ago, I joined a website. I made many mistakes there and didn't want to be reminded of them, so I quit about a year ago.
2 months ago, I came back. I don't even know why. But I regret it. I always find myself going on there when I'm bored, but I just want to leave that site for good. How can I tell myself no? I have self control, I just have nothing to do and find myself going on there. (link)
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The website clearly satisfies some urge or desire in you and is merely the vehicle for you to fulfil this desire. So you need to identify the desire and address that, rather than mentally 'ban' yourself from visting the site. Which will be almost impossible to maintain. An example might be ebay. It makes for easy shopping, and the delight of unwrapping all those parcels as they arrive. Using it as and when required, it's a great and useful resource. Fuel a compulsive shopping behavioural pattern with it and it's a disaster. But the 'victim' must ultimately resolve why it is they compulsively shop for items they do not really need (or even want in some cases). Until they do they will visit time and time again, despite vowing to stop. Website designers also incorporate many subtle (and not so subtle) and effective 'hooks' to keep users coming back, which is in their interest. (Use of emotive terms 'friend' and 'like' rather than simply contacts increases the subliminal power of Facebook for instance. We all want to be liked and have friends. We all seek approval. We can even count our friends! It plays to a basic human need). So what is it about this site that fulfils a need in you? Is this need one you wish to indulge, or one you would like to limit or subdue? Beware of simply substituting this site for another which is basically the same but with a different name (which is merely a prosess called cross-addiction and obviously does not help the underlying cause one bit). And claiming 'I only do it when/because I'm bored' is a bit of a trick we play on ourselves to sort of justify the act (I might find myself saying I smoke cigarettes when/because I am bored...in reality I do no such thing. I do it because I'm addicted to nicotine, just like every other smoker!!). There are a million and one things YOU could and can do instead of logging on to this site. But you won't. And you won't distract yourself out of visiting either. You do it because it is satisfying some desire in you. And it is the desire you need to identify and address. Best wishes. X
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So, im 15 years old and im dating with that guy for 2 months. He's sweet and stuff and i reaally like him and we meet very often. So, last night he came and picked me up with his car and we went to a dark place (but we were in the car). We talked and laughed and then he came on top of me and we started making out. I waas feeling super hot. Then, his hand moved down there and he started ''petting'' the area. It felt good and i wasnt really thinking cos of the atmosphere. At the end, he fingered me and i liked it a lot. However, when i went home, i cried and called myself a slut for enjoying it!. Did I do the right thingg? Am i too young? Am i a slut? (link)
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So, he's sweet, you like him loads, you talk a lot and he makes you smile and laugh? And you've been seing each other a reasonable time without being this intimate? This is ticking plenty of 'good' boxes. And when he WAS a little more intimate you got caught-up with the 'atmosphere', felt really hot and enjoyed it at the time? Even more good boxes ticked! Afterwards, when inevitably your mood and feelings swing back the other way it looked different, eh? Being a bit tearful isn't so unusual. It's the outward show of the reaction to all the strong feelings you experienced. Was it the right thing? You've certainly done nothing wrong. Are you too young? You are not doing anything unusual for a girl of fifteen to be enjoying with her boyfriend. Are you a slut for enjoying it? Most certainly not! You're supposed to enjoy it. Do you think HE will think you are slutty because you 'let him' do it? He will not, so don't put the silly idea in his head by thinking it yourself. Chat, laugh and love and enjoy being intimate together when the mood is right. Strikes me the pair of you are getting everything just about perfect. X
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hi people!
im a 19 year old girl & ive only tried anal once. from that experience im terrified to do it again.
when i did it the first time i got a hemorrhoid, disgusting yes i know! & also he cummed in my butt & when he pulled out it made a couple farting sounds but i dont think i farted? im not sure but it was embarrassing & i dont ever want that to happen again!
any suggestions or comments? thanks!
also any suggestions on how to clean your butt out before anal? because you poop there lol, i dont want anything coming out or smelling, sorry i know this sounds very out there! i just need some help!
thanks in advance and sorry about how weird this sounds haha!:) (link)
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I think comments from dragonflymagic sum it up. It's a case either of putting up with and getting used to the inevitable entailments of a guy penetrating your back passage. Or deciding that these entailments are something you find unpleasant, outweigh any enjoyment you get from doing it, and not have anal sex. If deciding against having anal sex upsets this or any other boyfriend I suggest you re-consider the relationship. Because if he cannot respect your wishes and compromise on something as relatively unimportant as having/not having anal sex then he will not find a long-term committed relationship very easy. (You'll certainly find much more important issues you have to resolve than this!!).
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M/15
So most of the time I hang out with my freinds the subject of who would you have sex with comes up. My freinds usaly have a mental numbered list of who they want to have sex with and are shock when I reveal to them that I dont really think about that to much. Also they dont want a relationship with the people they want to have sex with. They just want to bang them and move to then next one and I feel like that thats messed up and it kinds makes me mad when they talk about girls like that. When I think of some one I care about I think of how we would spend time together or how I can make them feel like they are special to me. Dose that make me strange? (link)
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This is definitely a case of emotional and mental maturity. Yours is more advanced. Fact is, your mates are not going to spend their adult lives screwing their way through a mental 'list' of females. For a start, where is this inventory of available girls who do not want any sort of committed relationship going to come from? And what is so alluring about casual sex with these guys that they are going to be unable to resist them? They will form one-to-one relationships. And they will find that even the most in-love couple spend a relatively small amount of time actually having sex. And spending time together and making each other feel valued, along with all the usual daily events of life occupy much more time and require much more effort. You seem to have sussed this, they haven't yet. Theirs is not an uncommon attitude towards girls at 15. It's really pretty much a fantasy. I mean, come on. Are the girls really very bothered about which number they're at in their lists? A girl might feel flattered that she's the sort who many guys look at and want to have sex with...but do you think she's going to actually 'live it'? Adult life will in some ways come as a more shock to them than it will to you. They will have their values and ideas over-turned. You values will instead be reinforced. You are not strange, just mature beyond your years and confident enough not to play-act the attitude of your mates just for the sake of conformity (just to be 'one of the lads' as you might say). The only way a guy will live having constant un-committed sex with numerous different females is by working as a male escort!! And you can quite sure that the girls who feature highest on their lists will be setting their sights on guys who can offer a bit more than just sex. So how pointless are their fantasy lists anyway??
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I'm a 15 year old girl and I feel like I don't eat enough food. When I eat, I eat healthy non-processed food (my mom has a fruit and veggie garden) it's just that my portions are so small. I usually skip breakfast so I can make my bus that comes at 6:30 (I don't want to get up any earlier than I already do to get breakfast, so I don't). Then around lunch time I'm not really hungry so I'll have some carrot sticks and maybe a sandwich. Then when I get home my mom makes me eat dinner, but I sort of have a loss of appetite sometimes and only have about half of my plate. Part of the problem could be that I drink a lot of water and it sort if suppresses the urge to eat. And most of my time after school is spent on homework (all of the teachers say "this worksheet will only take half an hour", but if we have half an hour of homework in all of our classes.....) for the record, I'm not anorexic, I love my body. How to I get a better appetite and how can my habits effect me in the future? (link)
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Great to hear that you love your body, and from the food you describe you are not keen on filling it full of junky processed food either. THAT is something that will greatly benefit you in future and something you should hang on to. So we can, as you suggest, rule out any nervous/psychologival eating disorders like anorexia or bullimia nervosa etc. Great stuff! Fact is, in the western world many of us DO eat far more than we actually need...and in many cases much of what we eat is basically over-processd, sugar, salt and artificial flavouring laden crap! And 15 year olds are often serious offenders. Fluids like water can indeed overfil the stomach and suppress appetite (briefly, it will pass through and appetite will then return). If you aren't feeling hunger pangs, or feeling fatigued (low energy, difficulty concentrating?) then one has to assume your calorific food intake is matching your energy usage and your perfectly fine? By all means check yourself (a healthy lifestyle magazine or website should put you in the picture), or get a doctor to check a thing known as Body Mass Index. This simply equates height and build (and age) to weight. I'd be surprised if you outside acceptable limits, you'll probably be towards the very healthy end. If you do need to 'bulk up' a bit then the doc, or website will have some suggestions on foods which can help (you don't have to eat more, against your natural appetite, it's a question of WHAT foods could add a pound or too of mass). Only thing I'm not that happy about is this 'skipping breakfast' idea. Now it's widely held that this is about the most important meal of the day with regards to energy intake at the the best possible time. I appreciate you aren't an 'early bird' but getting into the habit of finding and making time for a good breakfast will be a good life-style habit to get into. You like fruit, I see. How about preparing a bowl of fresh fruit and some healthy fibre-base cereal or museli or something the night before, cover the bowl in cling-film and stash it in the chiller part of your fridge? It'll be all ready and waiting next morning, just add a little milk. With regards to building up an actual appetite then quite strenuous physical exertion is about the only natural way to get your body yelling 'Feed me!'. And it will. But I assmue you aren't going to work building houses or digging up highways, so it's about balancing energy (calorific) intake with energy usage, and not storing up 'fuel' you don't need...which simply turns into fat. I seem to be writing loads here, hope it's some help? X
ps. Regarding your evening meal. If you're THIRTY-five and cooking for a husband and kids of your own and you visit your mum for Sunday lunch she'll still probably pile enough food on your plate to feed a small village. Mums are like that!!
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I am from india, age 23, male, I want to do my pennies big and thicker, may I do by musterbuting or by doing hand job or what to do? Please reply
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Masturbating will not increase the length or thickness of your penis. Neither does having sex. The amount you do either makes no difference. Advertisements for pills, creams or strange mechanical devices which will increase penis size are basically scams and have no medically or biologically proven merit. Some devices are put around the base of the erect penis to maintain blood to the tissue and WILL keep a penis very stiff and erect. But bear in mind that firstly at 23 you should have no problem maintaing a full erection anyway. Secondly, they will not actually increase penis size. Thirdly, constricting the base of the penis tightly is a very bad idea and can cause long-term damage. The real issue may be, is your penis too small anyway? Some guys do have larger penises than others. And many guys believe they are 'too small' when it is actually about average...and in some cases bigger than average too. And penis size is not related to fertility or your ability to have sex anyway. At the end of the day it is the size it is, just like you are the height you are, the length of your arms and legs, size of your hands etc. are what they are' and it is as impossible to change the size of your penis by anything you do.
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HI! I'm going to the 8th grade in 3 days. A while ago my sister & my parents went school shopping. I've seen this nice & very cute Minnie mouse backpack. I wanted it badly, so my dad bought it for me. Before he bought it though he said (this look childish. Are you sure you want this? Your too old for this). I didn't care, I still wanted the bag. But just this night I had a conversation with my very best friend. I told her about my book bag. And she said ( what grade are you in?! A Minnie mouse bag, really? Your not in kindergarten) That's when I really had second thoughts. But I really like the bag. I thinks its adorable. Am I being too worried of what people are thinking about me? I just need someone's advice. Please Help! (link)
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You like it. It's cute and fun. It's different. Be unique and individual! And really, it's the people who don't have this independence, and feel they have to conform who lack self-confidence and maturity of outlook. It takes a good deal of self-confidence to make an individual statement like this however. And you're in an age-group where people can be very much into conforming and not 'looking different'. I'd say go for it. Make the statement "I think for myself and if I like thing I do it, wear it, think it or carry it". You up for it?? Good luck with the new school year. X
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I am 20 years old girl.I am from Bnagladesh. 2 years ago I met a boy on facebook.He was from the another city of my country.I never add unknown people. Actually I was searching someone from his company. And I sent friend request to him. But after chatting I came to know that he was not the one. I decided to remove him. But from his old status I came to know that he lost his mother last year. I really felt bad. And decided not to remove him. We became friends. We used to chat for long time. He shared a lot of things with me so did I. He was a nice boy. He cared for me. I forgot to take my medicine. He asked me everyday that I took my medicine or not. He asked my opinion about his business card. I mean he gave me priorities. But after 2 months don't know what happened he started to change. He didn't reply me back like before. I didn't ask why. And I started to realize that I liked him. I felt bad about it, how I fall in love with someone on internet!. I decided to move on and not to talk to him anymore. But that time it seemed very difficult to me. I decided to remove him. One night I knocked him and told him something about my family and then told him that I am going to remove him. He said please tell me the reason. I told him and removed him.But still I used to message him and he replied me. That time I came to know from other source that he hided things from me. He didn't told me that his father got married few days ago. He told me that he had a girlfriend for one year but he never loved her. But I came to know that after that he also had a girlfriend almost for 3 years. But he didn't tell me anything about it. After one months I added him again. He accepted friend request and talked to me like nothing happened. Everything became normal again. I gave him my number. We started to chat on whatsapp. Almost like before. It was my birthday. I asked for gift. He asked what I want. I told as your wish. He told me to ask for something. I told him that you won't be able to give me. He asked me what. I didn't want to tell him. But he forced me and requested me to tell what I want. I told him that I liked him seriously and I really wanted to spent my life with him. He told me that we didn't meet each other ever so we shouldn't think about it. After that I didn't knock him. After one day he knocked me and told me that he added me on his new facebook id.In which he refused me to add before, he told me that this account was for his family.one day i called him and we talked for the first time. That day he told me about his father marriage. We talked for 20 minutes. And he was nice. After that we used to talk. His birthday was coming I decided to send him a gift. I asked for his address but refused to give it to me. But I knew his addressed already so I sent the gift. And he accepted it. There was his another female friend. She also liked him. She also send him gift but he didn't accept it. I came to know from someone. And on his birthday he called me and said that I am crazy. But he was happy.Every thing was going well. One day I knocked him on whatsapp and after sometime he replied. Like he always does. But I felt something is wrong. Don't know why!!! But my mind telling me that something is wrong. I felt that he was not replying me. Someone else was doing it. And the person tried to insult me. I knew that he couldn't talk to me like that. I ended the conversation. I was so upset that he allowed someone to reply me by his phone. After 7 days I knocked him and asked about the matter. He told that it wasn't he. I asked who it was. He told it was his colleague. But he didn't tell the name. I got very angry. He tried to explain me that it wasn't international. But I didn't pay any heed to his talk. I asked him how could he allowed someone to message me. He said that his colleague borrowed his phone for some work and I knocked that time and she replied. She also deleted the messages but told him what she wrote. And she did it for fun. I was so angry. I shouted at him. And told him not to contact me ever. At last he also got angry and told me that I was just a facebook friend to him nothing else and he never thought about me.
After that I found out the girls name. She is 1 year older than him. She also proposed him. But he said no. I contacted him again almost after 3 months. He also did. One night he called me we talked for so long. And after next day the girl tried to commit suicide and admited into hospital but he didn't go to see her. When I heard about it I really felt bad. Its been 6 months. We don't talk like before. He doesn't reply like before. I also ask him that if he has any problem to talk to me he can tell me directly I won't contact him again. But he says he has no problem to talk to me. But still he doesn't reply every time. I also don't knock him like before. I come to know that the girl comes back in his life.They talk to each other.But they are friend. He never tell me anything about the girl ever. I found it out from another source. I still miss him. Want to talk to him. But when I remember about the girl I stepped back. And didn't knock him. Don't know what to do.Should I contact him?Should I try to fix things? And I still think did he ever care for me? and still does? but unable to show it or I am just a fool???
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Hi. No you are certainly not a fool. There seem to have been a lot of things going on here. The main problem of being in contact only really through phones and social media is that the other person can very carefully choose what they tell you and show you. If two people are in actual physical contact each get to see and learn much more the other person. It is difficult for me to give an opinion. Let us look at a few facts. So far he has been unwilling to commit to you, but he has not committed to anybody else either. He seems comfortable to have you as a friend but not inclined to go further. Do not assume the other girls suicide attempt is because of anything you have done, or that he refused her proposal because of you. Another problem with social media is that we do hear things we do not want to. I do think that two years is a bit too long to have kept things unresolved. And I think you should resolve it one way or another so you can move on. By contacting him and finding out if he has any feelings for you plans for a committed relationship. If he plays more silly games (like pretending a colleague is using his phone and so on, or does not reply I think you should take it as a NO. Delete contacts, do not go looking him up or checking through friends, do not contact him again. Try to forget all about him and leave it all behind you. And look for somebody who deserves you. If he replies that he would like to make a proper relationship then go from there. This would mean exchanging proper addresses, not having different electronic identities for friends and family and so on, not hiding things from different people as and when he chooses. I know you tried this earlier. And then things got confusing? It sounds as if you did have a good friendship at the start. So mention that to him. The way things are at the moment you seem to be getting more confused and upset day by day. It will be better for you to end this one way or the other and as soon as possible. I hope it works out the way you want. You said he seemed really nice when you spoke. Well when I read what you have written I think YOU sound caring and compassionate and understanding. I think YOU sound really nice. It sounds like HE has been behaving in a very childish and unpleasant way. I think you deserve somebody nice and he has to prove to you that he deserves you. If he will not, forget about him. You can do much better. I hope you might find this some help. There does not seem to be any straightforward advice I can give you except finding out exactly where you stand as soon as possible. Best wishes. CJB
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I'm a 14 almost 15 year old girl and I feel like I masturbate way to often. I masturbate about once a day but sometimes I do it 2-3 times a day depending on how I'm feeling. It doesn't get in the way of my schedule or anything because I do it in my bed at night. Is this to often? I feel like no one else masturbates, so that just makes me feel worse. (link)
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If it isn't interfering with your schedule, or disturbing your sleep so much that you're a bit of a zombie next day, you're fine. Everyone has and does masturbate (once they become sexually aware and physically equipped, as you might say). That generally means in your teens. And it will continue all your life. You obviously haven't got a hang-up about doing it (or you would be trying very hard to resist the urge...and getting mentally all screwed up about it). This is a great sign. You just think it's too often, and nobody else does it? We've answered the first bit. We all do it. Guys and girls, single or in relationships, old or young. And there is not any such thing as the 'correct' number of times...so there's no too much or too little. If you feel the need 2-3 times a day that's fine. You'll only do it when you feel the urge (you feel horny and need to relieve the tension). And if a friend of the same age is happy and content doing it just once or twice a week, that's fine too. It should feel very enjoyable, so enjoy it with no inappropriate worries or feelings of guilt spoiling it. And you should feel pleasantly satisfied, relaxed and de-stressed when you've finished. There's no right or wrong technique, no 'standard' length of time you enjoy it for either. It's kind of transient too. It's 2-3 a day at present. You might find that changes. And it's not unusual for a woman to find she feels more or less horny, more or less often at different times during the month (it is tied-up with the menstrual cycle as hormone levels rise and fall over the month). And in bed at night is of course very convenient as you'll be comfortable, relaxed and not likley to be disturbed by people milling around the house, phone calls etc. And afterwards, you can just drop off to sleep. Now, it's not often that something really enjoyable comes free of charge, is there to enjoy whenever you fancy it and does you no physical or mental harm whatsoever. But this one really does. No strings. No pitfalls. So if you've finished any home study you have to do during school/college time, had dinner and taken care of any jobs around the house you do then relax and enjoy some 'me-time'as and when you feel the need. Repeat if necessary! And stop worrying. You're fine! X
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So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again? (link)
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I think you should definitely make your own peace with your Horned God and pursue things in a very discrete manner until you can do as you please when you are independent at 18. It's never a good idea to try and inflict spirituality and religion, or any other belief system on anyone who is hostile towards it. It never fails to cause arguments. On an interpersonal level and even globally, between nations (though there is usually some other agenda in play such as land and control of economics where nations are involved). I don't know anything about Wicca. Is it evangelical, encouraging you to convert people to the faith? Or is it a personal choice, between you and your god? I'm sure either way having a father who does not share your belief and is even dead against it can't count against you, can it? All belief systems with a godhead assume this supreme figure is all seeing and all knowing I believe? So I assume your Horned God will know the score (as it were) and know YOU are sound? And a few months (or longer) would hardly be likely to bother an eternal god. A case of keep the faith, and let others work at their own salvation I'd say.
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I'm going into 8th grade and super scared that I will get bad grades or something. Should I be worried? (link)
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If you look at or think about the sort of questions you'll be expected to answer to get a good grade at the end it will seem daunting. If they looked easy now, well...you would hardly need to do attend lessons and do the coursework would you? You will be given all you need to pass. Everything featuring in the exams will be covered (The teachers have a program and lesson plan and they know the content of the exam papers). So if you attend all the lessons and put your side of the work in to learn (which may mean a little extra effort and/or asking for a little assistance at times) you will pass. So it's in your hands really, isn't it? Don't be 'worried' as such. Be aware. Step up to mark, as it were. You naturally WANT good grades, but wanting isn't enough. You've got to go out there and take it, and own it. Same as everything worth having. A bad grade isn't something you'll just 'get' and neither is a great grade. The grade will reflect how much you put in. Now go out there, no fear...and make it your own!!
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Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't really feel normal. For starters my breasts are too small and I'm short, so I'm physically falling behind all of my peers. I know that I'll catch up though, so that only hurts my self esteem, but I'll be ok. What I'm really concerned with is mental development. I feel like I'm too "hormonal". I Masturabate once every two days or so and I have sex fantasies and things like that (although I'm not going to actually have sex for a long time). It just concerns me because most of the kids at my school seem so innocent, like they don't have hormones, or fantasies, or anything. So an I the only one? Am I "normal"? (link)
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You sound pretty normal to me. Your figure will get more femine, but you might never be full figured and very busty. Some women are slender (and very attractive they look too!), some more voluptuous. As far as fantasing and masturbating, well do you tell your friends all the details and frequency? You can be sure they DO pleasure themselves and enjoy sexy fantasies too. They probably think YOU (and the other girls) don't! So enjoy them. And masturbating every day or two is by no means excessive. It's for you to enjoy. Whenever you feel horny and want to relieve the tension a bit. I'm not sure 'too hormonal' is a valid concept. And the 'sex addict' stuff you hear about is not really about hormones and natural urges. It's psychological and all about craving attention, gratifcation and reassurance. You're an absolutely normal, healthy young woman. I promise you. X
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Hi! I'm asking this question for a friend but do u think this is good for a 12 year old to get (link)
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I wouldn't think it was exactly common for a girl of twelve to want one. And I can see why it might seem suspect to many people, since it kind of implies an intent to show the look off to guys. I suppose if she wants one purely for herself, because it's a look she aspires to maybe, then I can't see any real harm in it. As far as making a statement (doing something a bit 'out there') it's probably better than a tattoo from some shady 'studio' who don't check ages (which she's stuck with for life...a wax is short-lived). She might get some dodgy comments if same-aged friends notice (school sports, swimming etc?) since she'll probably be the only one of the gang who's had one. I'd say by and large that she'd have to accept that many adults and same-age friends might not think it was 'good'. Personal view? Much like having lots of piercings or dying your hair bizarre colours (reversible), and less 'bad' than tatts (which you might well regret but can't do a thing about undoing invisibly). Fair?
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I'm Worried I might be depressed. I have numerous problems in my life and a few people suggested that the level to which I am depressed is not normal.
I have a genetic predisposition to be depressed as both of my parents suffered from it. I also have many symptoms such as difficulty concentrating and making decisions, fatigue and decreased energy, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and pessimism, excessive sleeping, irritability, loss of interest in hobbies, and sad, anxious, and empty feelings.
What really concerns me is how much I didn't know that Robin Williams and I have in common. Someone suggested that he used humor to mask his depression and I've felt many times that I do the same thing. I don't want people to know I'm depressed, so I act silly and make jokes to hide it.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm open to counseling,but I don't want medication and I'm just scared. I dont think I'm the kind of person who would kill myself, but there have been times when I've wished I was dead. What can I do to prevent resorting to something like suicide? (link)
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Hi there! It strikes me you are remarkably aware of the symptoms and behavioural patterns asociated with depression. And from your language, you clearly have a high intellect. All that seems to be missing is some evaluation of the frequency of these symptoms, and hence the likely severity. Would you say you experience these feelings some days, most days or every day? I'm afraid we can all tick many of these boxes occasionally, literally 'on some days' or for brief periods. If you are answering a mixture of most and every day to a substantial amount of them, or even all of them, then you should arrange a face-to-face consultation with a professional. You seem averse to medication, as most are. I can assure you that heavy medication is not the inevitable outcome of the consultation. You refer to 'numerous problems'. Many of these feelings are the natural (and dare I say, correct?) response to the problems which sometmes come our way. Part of the acknowledgement and acceptance path. Part of the so-called 'healing process' and not necessarily clinical depression at all. So it is far from clear cut that you are suffering clinical depression. If moderate, controlled and monitored medication did happen to present itself as 'best for you' in addressing some of the symptoms, don't get worried. Properly handled it is a short-term, tactical 'fix' that will be withdrawn when it has served it's purpose. It is simply not a case either of living with depression untreated, or being turned into a permanent zombie with drugs. Many, quite possibly all, of the symptoms can be adreesed through counselling, discussion and therapeutic means in many cases. Drugs of course carry the stigma and possibilty of the dreaded 'dependency'. Again, based on the general feeling of what you have written and the manner in which you have written it, I feel you will be fully aware of the pits and traps, be able to evaluate yourself intelligently and accurately and so be unlikely to become a 'victim'. So, first things first. Let's get a measure of the frequency, and try and make an assesment of which of these negative feelings you can directly attribute purely to a specific problem you are facing and coping with right now. And if or when you do consult a professional, be up-front about any of these problems. It will help him or her make an accurate judgement. (We do pass through a liear process of 'shock-denial-anger-grief-acceptance' in the aftermath of a traumatic or upsetting experience. The first four stages are often emotionally turbulent times. I feel sure you are perfectly capable of understanding everything I have written, so I have not dumbed-down anything. Get in touch if you like, any time.
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