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Worried About Depression
I'm Worried I might be depressed. I have numerous problems in my life and a few people suggested that the level to which I am depressed is not normal.
I have a genetic predisposition to be depressed as both of my parents suffered from it. I also have many symptoms such as difficulty concentrating and making decisions, fatigue and decreased energy, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, and pessimism, excessive sleeping, irritability, loss of interest in hobbies, and sad, anxious, and empty feelings.
What really concerns me is how much I didn't know that Robin Williams and I have in common. Someone suggested that he used humor to mask his depression and I've felt many times that I do the same thing. I don't want people to know I'm depressed, so I act silly and make jokes to hide it.
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm open to counseling,but I don't want medication and I'm just scared. I dont think I'm the kind of person who would kill myself, but there have been times when I've wished I was dead. What can I do to prevent resorting to something like suicide?
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Let's deal with Robin Williams first. Robin had for decades dealt with drugs and alcohol addiction. Next, he has manic depression (bipolar disorder) and moods that rapid cycle with that disease without following proper treatment.
The depression part had become extremely severe lately in him. Add on top of that the fact he was struggling with the on-set of Parkinson's that could now and in the future kill his ability to perform which is the only thing he loved.
Then you add two recent marriages that failed plus a new one and whatever else we just don't know about yet that is being investigated.
Despite all this the fact remains and my own doctor told me is that people who have mental illnesses and kill themselves are incredibly rare. The fact we think it's high is incorrect but the media and society focuses on this too much to make us believe it is.
You may have an illness in common but that's about it. He didn't manage his but you can be on top of yours if you have it.
Also, just because DNA seems to support that you could get a mental illness doesn't mean you will. It's not always hereditary. If concerned see a doctor and go into detail about your family and how you feel right now and that you are scared and need to know if you're okay. That's what I would do and think strongly you should. Go from that.
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Hi there! It strikes me you are remarkably aware of the symptoms and behavioural patterns asociated with depression. And from your language, you clearly have a high intellect. All that seems to be missing is some evaluation of the frequency of these symptoms, and hence the likely severity. Would you say you experience these feelings some days, most days or every day? I'm afraid we can all tick many of these boxes occasionally, literally 'on some days' or for brief periods. If you are answering a mixture of most and every day to a substantial amount of them, or even all of them, then you should arrange a face-to-face consultation with a professional. You seem averse to medication, as most are. I can assure you that heavy medication is not the inevitable outcome of the consultation. You refer to 'numerous problems'. Many of these feelings are the natural (and dare I say, correct?) response to the problems which sometmes come our way. Part of the acknowledgement and acceptance path. Part of the so-called 'healing process' and not necessarily clinical depression at all. So it is far from clear cut that you are suffering clinical depression. If moderate, controlled and monitored medication did happen to present itself as 'best for you' in addressing some of the symptoms, don't get worried. Properly handled it is a short-term, tactical 'fix' that will be withdrawn when it has served it's purpose. It is simply not a case either of living with depression untreated, or being turned into a permanent zombie with drugs. Many, quite possibly all, of the symptoms can be adreesed through counselling, discussion and therapeutic means in many cases. Drugs of course carry the stigma and possibilty of the dreaded 'dependency'. Again, based on the general feeling of what you have written and the manner in which you have written it, I feel you will be fully aware of the pits and traps, be able to evaluate yourself intelligently and accurately and so be unlikely to become a 'victim'. So, first things first. Let's get a measure of the frequency, and try and make an assesment of which of these negative feelings you can directly attribute purely to a specific problem you are facing and coping with right now. And if or when you do consult a professional, be up-front about any of these problems. It will help him or her make an accurate judgement. (We do pass through a liear process of 'shock-denial-anger-grief-acceptance' in the aftermath of a traumatic or upsetting experience. The first four stages are often emotionally turbulent times. I feel sure you are perfectly capable of understanding everything I have written, so I have not dumbed-down anything. Get in touch if you like, any time.
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None of us are doctors, counselors, etc. so I would go see your school counselor if you're young or if you're older get a therapist/counselor to talk with.
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