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What should I do?
I am 20 years old girl.I am from Bnagladesh. 2 years ago I met a boy on facebook.He was from the another city of my country.I never add unknown people. Actually I was searching someone from his company. And I sent friend request to him. But after chatting I came to know that he was not the one. I decided to remove him. But from his old status I came to know that he lost his mother last year. I really felt bad. And decided not to remove him. We became friends. We used to chat for long time. He shared a lot of things with me so did I. He was a nice boy. He cared for me. I forgot to take my medicine. He asked me everyday that I took my medicine or not. He asked my opinion about his business card. I mean he gave me priorities. But after 2 months don't know what happened he started to change. He didn't reply me back like before. I didn't ask why. And I started to realize that I liked him. I felt bad about it, how I fall in love with someone on internet!. I decided to move on and not to talk to him anymore. But that time it seemed very difficult to me. I decided to remove him. One night I knocked him and told him something about my family and then told him that I am going to remove him. He said please tell me the reason. I told him and removed him.But still I used to message him and he replied me. That time I came to know from other source that he hided things from me. He didn't told me that his father got married few days ago. He told me that he had a girlfriend for one year but he never loved her. But I came to know that after that he also had a girlfriend almost for 3 years. But he didn't tell me anything about it. After one months I added him again. He accepted friend request and talked to me like nothing happened. Everything became normal again. I gave him my number. We started to chat on whatsapp. Almost like before. It was my birthday. I asked for gift. He asked what I want. I told as your wish. He told me to ask for something. I told him that you won't be able to give me. He asked me what. I didn't want to tell him. But he forced me and requested me to tell what I want. I told him that I liked him seriously and I really wanted to spent my life with him. He told me that we didn't meet each other ever so we shouldn't think about it. After that I didn't knock him. After one day he knocked me and told me that he added me on his new facebook id.In which he refused me to add before, he told me that this account was for his family.one day i called him and we talked for the first time. That day he told me about his father marriage. We talked for 20 minutes. And he was nice. After that we used to talk. His birthday was coming I decided to send him a gift. I asked for his address but refused to give it to me. But I knew his addressed already so I sent the gift. And he accepted it. There was his another female friend. She also liked him. She also send him gift but he didn't accept it. I came to know from someone. And on his birthday he called me and said that I am crazy. But he was happy.Every thing was going well. One day I knocked him on whatsapp and after sometime he replied. Like he always does. But I felt something is wrong. Don't know why!!! But my mind telling me that something is wrong. I felt that he was not replying me. Someone else was doing it. And the person tried to insult me. I knew that he couldn't talk to me like that. I ended the conversation. I was so upset that he allowed someone to reply me by his phone. After 7 days I knocked him and asked about the matter. He told that it wasn't he. I asked who it was. He told it was his colleague. But he didn't tell the name. I got very angry. He tried to explain me that it wasn't international. But I didn't pay any heed to his talk. I asked him how could he allowed someone to message me. He said that his colleague borrowed his phone for some work and I knocked that time and she replied. She also deleted the messages but told him what she wrote. And she did it for fun. I was so angry. I shouted at him. And told him not to contact me ever. At last he also got angry and told me that I was just a facebook friend to him nothing else and he never thought about me.
After that I found out the girls name. She is 1 year older than him. She also proposed him. But he said no. I contacted him again almost after 3 months. He also did. One night he called me we talked for so long. And after next day the girl tried to commit suicide and admited into hospital but he didn't go to see her. When I heard about it I really felt bad. Its been 6 months. We don't talk like before. He doesn't reply like before. I also ask him that if he has any problem to talk to me he can tell me directly I won't contact him again. But he says he has no problem to talk to me. But still he doesn't reply every time. I also don't knock him like before. I come to know that the girl comes back in his life.They talk to each other.But they are friend. He never tell me anything about the girl ever. I found it out from another source. I still miss him. Want to talk to him. But when I remember about the girl I stepped back. And didn't knock him. Don't know what to do.Should I contact him?Should I try to fix things? And I still think did he ever care for me? and still does? but unable to show it or I am just a fool???
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I'm going to tell ya straight. You should just forget about him. Long Distance relationships are hard, and they are even worse if you have never met them before, and your relationship started and exists online.
He seems to only talk to you when he feels in the mood too, not the other way around.
If he is hiding things from you, and not telling you certain parts/people in his life, he is not for you. Relationships and love are about being open with each other.
And ignoring you for months at a time, and then starting to reply isn't cool.
You should just forget about him, he doesn't deserve you. It maybe hard but it's whats best.
I wish you the best, have fun meeting new people ok?
- Hardcore-Band-Geek :)
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Based on what you have told me, it seems that he may be playing games with you. If he isn't telling you about personal things in his life and he only talks to him when it is convenient for him. I know this may be hard to hear, and this might also not be the case. I would just be careful; you don't want to end up broken-hearted over someone you have never even met. You have not ever met him in person and people can be very deceiving over social media. The fact that he did not want to add you on Facebook seems to me like he wants to keep you a secret and no one should have to feel that way. I would say that you two should stay friends and talk occasionally; but you should not always start the conversation. Wait for him to start the conversation. Don't write him back immediately; make him wait a little while. If he cares, he might have a reaction and wonder why you are not messaging him back fast and why you haven't been starting the conversations. A lot of men like a challenge. They don't like when you're always messaging them or trying to get a hold of them. It makes it boring for them,. Play hard to get and if he still acts the same I would say that it is time to move on.You deserve someone who cares about you and who is going to want you in all parts of his life. You deserve to be shown off and loved. If you think that it could work and you both really like each other... maybe try to meet in person. Go on a date. See how you get a long in person. Carrying a conversation on over a phone or in messaging apps there is no emotion and you don't really get to know the person. I wish you the best of luck and let me know if you need anything else!
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Hi. No you are certainly not a fool. There seem to have been a lot of things going on here. The main problem of being in contact only really through phones and social media is that the other person can very carefully choose what they tell you and show you. If two people are in actual physical contact each get to see and learn much more the other person. It is difficult for me to give an opinion. Let us look at a few facts. So far he has been unwilling to commit to you, but he has not committed to anybody else either. He seems comfortable to have you as a friend but not inclined to go further. Do not assume the other girls suicide attempt is because of anything you have done, or that he refused her proposal because of you. Another problem with social media is that we do hear things we do not want to. I do think that two years is a bit too long to have kept things unresolved. And I think you should resolve it one way or another so you can move on. By contacting him and finding out if he has any feelings for you plans for a committed relationship. If he plays more silly games (like pretending a colleague is using his phone and so on, or does not reply I think you should take it as a NO. Delete contacts, do not go looking him up or checking through friends, do not contact him again. Try to forget all about him and leave it all behind you. And look for somebody who deserves you. If he replies that he would like to make a proper relationship then go from there. This would mean exchanging proper addresses, not having different electronic identities for friends and family and so on, not hiding things from different people as and when he chooses. I know you tried this earlier. And then things got confusing? It sounds as if you did have a good friendship at the start. So mention that to him. The way things are at the moment you seem to be getting more confused and upset day by day. It will be better for you to end this one way or the other and as soon as possible. I hope it works out the way you want. You said he seemed really nice when you spoke. Well when I read what you have written I think YOU sound caring and compassionate and understanding. I think YOU sound really nice. It sounds like HE has been behaving in a very childish and unpleasant way. I think you deserve somebody nice and he has to prove to you that he deserves you. If he will not, forget about him. You can do much better. I hope you might find this some help. There does not seem to be any straightforward advice I can give you except finding out exactly where you stand as soon as possible. Best wishes. CJB
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