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JunieBazinet
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about
I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.
advice
A few days ago I met a friend of a friend. I had met him once before but we didn't really talk. This time we talked and I just felt like we connected in such a bizarre way. He asked me personal questions and told me that he admired my personality. We are also very similar because we are sometimes quiet and people see us as very sweet. I spent a few days in his company and felt these deep feelings. I've never connected to someone so quickly. He lives very far away and it's unlikely that we'll ever become close friends. It feels like I'm losing him and it hurts but at the same time I know I'll be fine. Could this be love? Is such a thing possible? Am I just exaggerating?
this is a really biased question. half the people are gonna say it is love. half the people will say its not. its such a biased question because technically it is an opinion question. people have different opinons. you're pretty much asking us for our opinion on how you feel... which is bizarre because how are we supposed to know how you're feeling, and then interpret that..?
only you can interpret your feelings. we don't know exactly how you feel. you can give us as many details as you want but we can never fully know EXACTLY how you feel...
listen to your heart. if you're drawn to him, stay in contact with him. get to know him better and just go with the flow. does it really matter what you call it right now..? does it make a difference if you say "its love" or "its not love"..?
everything happens for a reason.
my boyfriend who is 18 has been trying to get into modeling for awhile now, well so far he has been scamed twice by people saying they are from modeling agentcies, and i dont want his hopes being crushed. i want to know how and where could we find an actually thing for modeling. i heard tyra banks has been looking for new models but i dont know how to contact her. im really desprate please help me and him thank you
look at magazines. they usual have the modeling agency website or contact info on the magazine front of back cover.
17/f
I am currently a senior in high school, and I am taking a special program in college. It's where I attend college as a high school and a college student. But when I graduate, I graduate with my high school diploma and my associates degree. So basically, I would be two years ahead. I am a college student since I attend a college campus, but my attendance still counts and I still do not have the choice of choosing my own schedule and professors. I am taking 27 credit hours (again, no choice). If any of us fail a class, we would get kicked out of the program. I am barely passing any of my classes, and I recently took my biology test which is one of the classes I am failing. I studied hard for this test, and when the test appeared in front of me. The things I studied for wasn't on there. I was frustrated, but I still tried my best. Later today, I found out that a lot of students in my class cheated on their test. You know, they went on Google, and searched for the answers. Some were smart, some did not even study because apparently it was their "last priority". They all cheated. I find it unfair. It gets me angry, it explains how they are passing with a high B, and I am barely even passing with a low C. I get so tempted to cheat, but I know that would be bad so I choose not to. But I can't help but let it bother me, I don't try to vent or blame God or anything. I mean, he knows what's the outcome on everything. But I would just like an answer or some sort. I don't want to get kicked out of the program, I'm trying to save my butt even though I have ADD and I am brain dead, I have a low grade. While everyone else who has a phone that can Google or doesn't exactly study as much, tries to cheat off of other people that spent their time studying. How can I get over this?
Everyone keeps saying, "it won't benefit them later.. Because they don't learn anything." But it benefits them on staying in a program that is hard to stay in, by cheating. They get good grades, their GPA goes up. Those who study and doesn't cheat, they can get kicked out, and their GPA drops. What exactly is the good in this?? Can someone just point something out to me about something that can benefit me in some way??
i think you need to tell your teacher or professor. you HAVE to because cheating is against the rules.
you said that if you study hard and dont cheat, you get kicked out.... that is unfair. i agree. so to make it fair- tell the teacher what they are doing. its best to get proof to back up your answer. during a test, take a picture of someone using google to cheat. show it to your teacher and say everyone is doing it.
it can be considered "tattletaling" but would you rather get kicked out of the program because you didn't cheat.. than to stay in the program and watch everyone who did cheat get kicked out..?
honestly. if people get mad at you for telling on them, just say "well you shouldn't have cheaten then." if they were smart at all they wounldn't do it.
and also, they are very wrong. you told us that they say "what good does it do? we don't learn anything" well duh.... thats because they cheat... obviously if you cheat, you're never gonna learn anything. wait nevermind i change that. you do learn something. you learn that cheating gets you no where in life.
what are they gonna do when they get jobs in the real life? what are they gonna do when they have to take special exams to get a licensed job? like the MCATs for medical school? are they gonna cheat then? there's no way you can cheat on that.
my advice- tell the teacher. its the only fair thing to do. its THE RIGHT thing to do. i bet you that at least one of those people will thank you for it because these students have to realize that cheating wont help them.
if they fail the test, well then thats their fault. they should talk to the teacher about the test and how the material they studied for wasn't on the test. if you studied what you are supposed to study, but still fail the test, its the teachers fault for not getting you prepared for the test.
17/f
So my boyfriend asked me today if it was okay if he went out to eat with one of his "girl" friends, just them two. I said okay. The thing is, after i said that i found out they used to talk and thats why him and his ex girlfriend used to fight, because of her. I've been dating him for about a month now and im still finding things out about him. He treats me really good though. The only thing is, i got a little mad at the fact that he used to like her because i seen what hes said about her pictures on facebook and he was giving her plenty of compliments. I've also seen them text while we have been hanging out before. He's so nice and i know he would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. But i just don't know what to do, because it makes me upset.
i've had a similiar issue. from experience.. i would say back out of it. its none of your business. no need to pry into his personal stuff. if he has something to explain, he will come talk to you about it.
is it ok for you to be worried/concerned? yes it is.
is it ok for you to pry into his stuff and "scope" things out and spy on him? no.
you can be worried and jealous but once you start spying on him and interfering and trying to figure out the truth, its crossing the line.
if you find proof that they are more than friends by accident, confront him about it and see what happens from there. lets say she wrote on his wall and said something flirty like "last night was amazing. i love you" ask him about it. if it seems fishy, keep an open eye on it. but DONT pry. thats how you lose respect for someone and lose trust. especially if it was a false alarm/not true to begin with.
however, if you have actual proof like a friend sent you a picture message of them kissing, you have proof that he cheated and then confront him about it.
good luck. inbox me if you have more quesitons.
ok so i keep having this dream, involving the same person, its starts off differently each time, but ends up the same in the end.
Basically i meet this guy called Andy, but in each dream i always meet him a different way.
Dream One;
i was looking after my friends little brother at a indoor playground place, and he was there with his little brother, and we got talking.
Dream two;
I attended one of his bands instores and we got talking when i met him.
however both of these dreams were the same in what happened next. we would start dating. however everytime we date things start to fall apart, he either cheats or i feel like he's cheating yet i wake up before we even think about breaking up.
what does it mean? that im having these dreams every night that are always ending up the same? is it my subconcious trying to warn me or tell me something? what does this all mean?
well obviously you like him... considering you have dreams about him and cant stop thinking about him.
you have to look at the little details when you're interpreting dreams.
dream one is basically saying that you like him, you have similar interests in him, you like talking to him and enjoy his presence.
dream two is basically saying that you like him, have similar interests in him, enjoy talking to him.
the cheating/bad stuff is probably your concern with dating him. you like him, but are scared to date him because you're unsure if you trust him. you're unsure if he will cheat on you or if things go wrong. but hey, its normal to be scared before dating someone. its your decision though. are you willing to talk to him more/date him, but risk getting your heart broken by him (the signs in the dream) or would you want to protect your heart and just avoid him?
in my life, i've had experiences when i've given my heart to so many guys way too soon, and they ended up breaking it a lot. my advice to you is to not give your heart away so easily and so fast. because if you give your heart to any guy, theres a bigger possibility of it being broken. let a guy EARN your heart. make him work for it. don't just give it out to any guy because thats how you get heart broken.
its your decision, but if you decide to date him, remember not to give him your heart unless you're absolutely sure you want to.
helppp! my boyfriend and i are both 21. our one year anniversary is dec 30th..and christmas is coming up too...i have no idea what to get/ do for him! any ideas?!
- tie blanket
- puzzle of a personal picture
- personalized whatever. (necklace, coffee mug, pajamas etc)
- if you're looking for something sexy, maybe lingerie from victorias secret and wear it for him
- "kidnap" him and take him somewhere (nice restaurant, breakfast at 5am, unknown destination roadtrip)
- memory jar. (a jar with little notes in it that have cute memories of you 2)
- scrapbook
- knit him a scarf if you can
- autograph by someone he admires (athlete, celebrity, author etc)
- plan a whole day around him and what he loves to do
- coupons that say- good for one kiss. good for one homecooked meal. good for one massage.
- gift cards to places he loves to go to
- a pet. (dog, goldfish, goat)
- do something he's always wanted to do with you (snowboarding, mountain climbing, yoga, laser tag, bowling)
- bake him a cake or dinner
- make a shout out to him on the radio
its the thought that counts. i'm sure he'll love anything you give/make him :)
I accepted an early action offer at a university. But I thought that by accepting this I could still later decide NOT to attend. Now I'm afraid that I HAVE to attend this school. This school isn't my first choice and I'm still waiting on my other decisions which come in march. I'm freaking out. What should I do?
Ps: this isn't early decision, but by accepting early action did I automatically declare that I will 100% commit to this schoo? :(
i don't think so because i applied to a school via early action and they sent me the acceptance letter and along with an enrollment paper and i remember there was a check box that said- yes i am planning on attending this college. and then there was another box that said something like- no i'm looking at other colleges currently.
but i could be wrong..
its best to call the college and ask. tell them what you plan on doing (that the school isnt your first choice and are not plannning on attending) just simply say you were confused and ask for their help/clarification. i'm sure they'll be glad to help
my boyfriend and i hooked up in his car. i was straddling him. i was wearing my school skirt and he was wearing his gym shorts. i was wearing my victoria secret pajama shorts under my shcool skirt and all of a sudden he was like oh shit! n there was this big sticky stain on his white shorts it was only pre-cum but my underwear/shorts were riding up my vagina because of the way i was sitting. so did any get in me? if it did is that enough to make someone pregnant? im not on bc and i havent gotten my period since last january so am i infertile? because i only get my period once a year. i've ever only gotten my period twice. once in jan 2009 and once in jan 2010. help me please! thanks
yes there is a chance but it is REALLY slim.. like 1 in 100.
i wouldn't worry about it too much considering your underwear was on.
sperm dies once it hits the air too. so if it was on his shorts, most likely it wouldn't have been alive. only like 1 in 1000 of them would be alive but i really doubt it would happen.
plus it was on the outside of your vagina.. meaning the sperm would have to someone swim up your vagina to get you pregnant. which i doubt would happen considereing again you wore underwear.
so to answer your question, it is possible. but in your case i doubt its true.
So i met this girl in the beginning of school, and i think she is beutiful. But the problem I have is I can't talk to her. I'll try to walk over to her and talk to her, but I get to nervous. What should I say to her or do?
start off slow.
start with a smile. look at her when she's not looking and then when she looks at you, glance away. and then look back. and then smile :) teeth showing.
depends on the type of girl, but i know that i love guys who are shy and cute. its adorable haha. but i also know that it can be frustrating because i prefer to have guys make the first move. but thats just me. this girl could be the opposite. she could like very brave guys.
you can either be shy and make her think you're adorable and wait for her to make the first move (but be careful because if you wait too long, she could find another guy). or you can be courageous and make her surprised and make the first move and catch her off guard.
so yeah, start off with a smile. then move on to saying hi casually. if its in the hallways or just in class. just say hi. and then walk away. that lets her know that you recognize her and she's not just another girl in a class. then once you say hi a few times, compliment her. girls loove compliments. even if its corny like "i like your binder" sometimes the things you say out of the blue become the most memorable things. who knows, she could find it funny and then you 2 would have an inside joke.
which is another thing to consider. try to find something you 2 have in common, make a joke about it. and then the next time you see her, bring up that joke. ta da! inside joke between you 2 and everytime you see her she'll think of the inside joke.
also, try doing little things like noticing if she got a hair cut or if she changed her necklace. comment on it. let her know that you notice her. open the door for her. if she drops something, pick it up and smile. if you have the courage, say "you dropped this. here you go. you're welcome". dont forget the smile :) buy something (not too big) like candy or something you think she would like and say- do you want this? i dont want this. maybe even write her a note in class and be like- i'm bored. whats up? she will think its funny. crack a joke too. maybe even a corny pick up line?? here's one of my favs-
you: how much does a polar bear weigh? her: i dont know. you: enough to break the ice. hi. my name is ______.
its an easy yet funny way to talk to her and "break the ice" between you 2.
be brave. she wont bite. worse case= she could think you're weird and walk away. she's not gonna slap you or yell at you.. there's really nothing to be scared of. so what if she might not like you?? you can find another girl who will like you for you.
last thing, just be you. don't change who you are just to impress her. if you act like yourself, you'll know if she likes you for you, or if she likes you for someone you're "pretending to be". get it? just be yourself and let everything happen naturally. everything happens for a reason.
go get her :)
So my hair is a natural dark, ash blonde. I went to the salon today and picked a color (dark blonde) to fix up my roots as my color was still light from the summer. To my horror, my color came out dark brown. My hairdresser said that it should fade a little because it was not permanent, and if I wanted she could do highlights for another $25. I really do not like my hair this dark, and I do not know what to do; if I go one number lighter, it is too light and brassy and orangey. But, I'm afraid that if I do highlights it will just look bad and streaky and still do dark. Will any home dyes (ex. clairol natural instincts brass free) work without turning my hair brassy? I really don't want to pay extra to fix my hair for something that is not my fault... Please help!
yeah i'd try the clairol natural insticts brass free.
or you could always try bleaching your hair and then dying it with the actual color you want.
FYI- i wouldn't use the brand you picked the first time again. pick a different brand. i love Loreal. never turned my hair a different color than what i expected and it lasts a long time :)
wow thanx for taking the the to reply to me.. it was reely good advice but theres more to ''us''
well the whole phone call thing is that he doesnt ask all once he asks all the time and he doesnt phone back often so its kinda annoying... coz if say im busy or got no airtime then he says things likes "oh im not important anymore or you dony care about me" stuff like that and i feel bad and end up phoning.
we arent in the same school infact his out of school and always busy with something...
the reason why i dont know what to do is because about 3 months ago he told another guy that likes me that i was getting busy, phoning smsing, him during the holiday when i wasnt (im still a virgin), that caused alot of problems between my friend and i.. i eventually smsed my x and told him to leave me alone and that i dont need this nonsense from him...i know that i shoudnt forgive him for saying those things and hurting me like that but i really miss him but if i sms him to say hi then its just not going to make sense because im the one who told him to leave me alone and also after i told him that he smsed a few times and invited me on mxit but ignored him... i dont know whether he has another girlfriend but im not sure whether i even want to hear... this might sound stupid but i know that i need to move on but i just really really miss him:(
thanx again for ur advice and time
you're always welcome.
the way i see i see it, you can do either of these 2 things.
A) you can apologize to him about telling him to go away and leave you alone. because after all, you do want to talk to him. the only way you can get that is if you say sorry and that you didn't mean it. if you say that, he will realize that you do want to stay in contact. after you say sorry, and that you still want to talk to him, let him know how you feel. tell him you miss him. but at the same time, make sure he knows that he hurt you when he said those things.make him know that you still care about him as a person, but are unsure of your feelings romantically. that lets him know that if anything happened to him, youd be there to save him and protect him because you care about him as a person. but make sure you make him realize that you are hurt.
or... you can do this
B) move on. yes it is hard. i know because i've had to move on from my first love when he broke up with me (we dated for a year) i was devastated and theres a huge story to it but short story- i dated another guy after him and then my ex wanted to get back together and i sort of wanted to get back together but at the same time felt bad for the guy i was dating right now because i like them both. but in the end, i had no other choice but to move on from my ex.
if you want my personal opinon.. i would say move on. he's not worth your time. all he's going to do is cause more problems. he said those things about you to the guy who likes you. if he does that now, who know what he will do in the future. it just seems like he is a ton of drama and trouble to me. thats just my opinion though.
what you should do is make a list of everything you like about him and everything you dont like about him. see which side has more. if you have more on the side you like about him, then i would say go with option A. talk to him and tell him your true feelings from your heart. whether if its you still love him, or if you just care about him as a person. let him know. however, if you have more stuff on the side you dont like about him, then i would go with option B. move on. he's not worth your time and i think you could find a guy who treats you MUCH better.
good luck :) inbox again if you need more help!
Well i am 17 and i got my period when i was 14. My boobs haven't grown at all since then. I am a 32A (and thats still a little too big for me). I feel comfortable with my personality and body, except for the boobs. And i already talked to my mom about getting them "filled up" more. I was just wondering if you knew the disadvantages to that? And what problems could it cause? thanksss.
i wouldn't do it.
A. its fake.. why would you ever want to be "fake". same thing with tanning salons, plastic surgery, etc. its basically changing you... why would you ever want to change yourself? love you for WHO YOU ARE. boobs aren't everything.. who cares. if someone says "you have small boobs." tell them- "well i dont care. if you dont like them, don't look at them then" who really cares..? its boobs..
B. you're 17.. thats SO young still.. i'm 18 and i'm so confused on why people want to change who they are. especially so young..
C. yes there are a lot of disadvantages. i'm not totally sure but if you search on google "disadvantages of boob job" i'm sure you'll get PLENTY of results.
D. why would you want plastic crap infused in your body..? i'm all about organic/natural stuff. you might as well take carbon monoxide and inject it into your body. the chemicals in those are horrible for you... i even heard it leads to cancer sometimes. breast cancer and regular cancer.
so.. yeah. i mean, its your choice. but my opinon is that its a really ridiculous thing.. its stupid and pointless in my opinon. what good does it do for you? same thing with drugs and alochol.. how is it considered an advantage. yes big boobs gets you more guys, but have you considered what TYPE of guys it attracts..? guys that want sex pretty much. if you want a guy to LOVE YOU.. he will love you for who you are. not how big your boobs are. if a guy loves you because of your boobs size.. then he's an idiot who doesnt care about your feelings and only cares about sucking your tits. seriously. i've never heard of a honest marriage because the guy loves her boobs..
it doesn't do you any good. its fake and pointless. my opinon. but hey, your body. if you want to abuse it like that, go ahead. let me know when your 50 and wish you hadn't done it because of all the side effects and what not.
its like a tattoo.. you're gonna regret it because its like fashion. one day its considered cool and "hot".. then next few years it will be considered slutty and fake. tattoos are same concept. yes they are cool right now. but they are ink. PERMANENT. when you're 70, your skin is gonna wrinkle and you're gonna regret it. boobs jobs same concept. you're gonna regret it. best not to risk it.
So I should be a normal 18 year old in a lot of ways but I've started to feel really abnormal recently. I don't feel like I know why I'm doing what I do anymore. Things just seem depressing and pointless. I'm either working or eating or sleeping; I have no life.
I'm in the middle of my university applications so this is a really bad time to feel down. Any advice?
i'm in the same boat.
things will get better. just look on the bright side. i think you might need a break. take a day off of life. go to the spa. spoil yourself. do WHATEVER makes you happy. put a smile on your face :) push aside the applications and the homework for a day. let your mind take a breath.
then, after you've refreshed yourself.. take things slowly. one step at a time. baby steps. start with one thing. pick something. like college apps. set aside time for that. like a long weekend. push yourself to get it over with. tell your friends to encourage you. tell your parents to force you to finish them. once they are over with, imagine you taking a huge breath of relief and thinking "its finally over with" and imagine how relaxed you'll be after they are over.
then pick a new topic and fix your problems with baby steps.
i also think you're wayy too stressed. you need to lighten up and have some fun :) call up some friends and throw a party just for the hell of it. blast the music and dance and sing horribly. put on make up and dress up and go out one night to a movie.
research shows that if you're feeling sad/bored/depressed, its because you haven't been getting out. you need to push yourself out of your little security bubble and try new things. get a wild haircut you normally wouldn't. buy clothes that you normally wouldn't wear. hang out with people that you haven't seen in a while. drive somewhere new. eat something different.
just relax. TAKE DEEP SLOW BREATHS.
i'm originally from europe and ever since i've moved here i've noticed that americans are so stressed out. americans need to learn how to relax. life is so short. you don't want to look back and think- wow i was so stressed. one day, don't plan anything. its called the joy of nothing. europeans do it A LOT. don't make any plans and just go with the flow. relax at home and see where life takes you. americans are so caught up with everything.. school, work, feeding the dog, taking care of children, pay the taxes blah blah blah. you don't live life for long. have some fun and enjoy being young :)
Well I have been on our schools varsity gymnastics team since i was in 7th grade. and i am now in 10th grade, so i have been on the team for 4 years now. The only way you can be on the team as a 7th or 8th grader is to pass the selective classification testing, and one of my friends ( lets call her sue ) could not pass that as a middle schooler, so she joined when she was in 9th grade. And i was really good friends with everyone on my team my first two years. As soon as i brought sue onto the team, everyone liked sue more than me. I am the type of person who is super funny and stuff with my friends and people i am close to, but i am super shy around people i don't really know that well. so all those people who i was close to, began to be people i wouldn't be myself around. I am very nice and was always kind to them and would let out a funny crack now and then, but i could not compete with sue, who is one of those people everyone likes.
So we had our banquet for this past year and our coach was to announce the captains for next year. The tradition is that the 2 oldest ( grade wise ) would be captains. Since we have a senior on the team, she will be captain automatically. However, me and sue will both be juniors next year. I thought our coach would pick me because i have been in it two more years than sue. but all of a sudden there was rumor of a vote, and sue would definitely win because she well liked over me. So at the banquet, our coach announced that we voted, and sue was to be the other captain. However, i asked all the girls on the team and we did not vote at all. so either one of two things happened:
(1) The senior captain ( who is a brat ( not to be mean but seriously ) ) could have told our coach that we voted and sue won. she is very close with sue and would love to have her as a co- captain.
(2) Our coach just picked sue.
Now here is the real problem. My mom is furious and demands i talk to the coach about it. Which i so would, but i have to see him every thursday at regular non-school practice and sue and the other captain are there as well. but if i don't say something, my mom will, so i am going to say something, but idk what. I mean what if the coach did just " choose" sue to be the other captain, does he know that i was on if for more years? and that is embarrassing for him and me then. and then having to see him EVERY week... or am i just being a shy doormat person? I think i earned that spot!
So, i guess what i am asking is if you know how i should approach my coach and what should i say?
my opinion is that you're jealous of sue.
i've had pretty much the same experience as you. i play volleyball and have been on varsity since i was a sophomore. there was this other girl who was competing for the same spot as me (same age) she was on Jv during sophomore year. so i beat her that year. but then junior year came and she made varsity and i was a benchwarmer watching her get all the credit and glory. yes i admit i was jealous. i believe you are jealous of sue because someone better than you came along and gets all the attention. i know how you feel. it sucks. back to my story.. junior year was hell for me. i felt like i was forced to watch her play and then she would always rub it in my face that she gets to play and i didnt get any playing time. then comes senior year. pre-season i decide that this is MY YEAR. MY SPOT. MY TEAM. i was determined to beat her and that i was fed up with the past and for once i wanted things to go my way. i worked my ass off and beginning of the season was rocky. she was starting but we shared playing time. i kept working hard and then next thing i know, coach puts me as a starting player. things kept getting better and better and i improved each day and she was getting madder and madder because i was finally beating her.
so yes, that is my story and i believe that you shouldn't get jealous over sue. you have to realize that there is ALWAYS going to be someone better than you out there. whether its gymnastics, jobs, etc. you just have to be happy with what you've got.
you're not a horrible person :) you're obviously something special if you have been on varsity for a long time and if a lot of people like you. just give it time. yes people probably like sue right now. she might be better than you but first step is admitting it. no resason to hate her just because she's more talented. the way i look at it is.. don't you WANT someone great on the team?? don't you want an amazing team?? don't you want your team to be successful..? maybe sue has the capability to enhance your team and make it better :) yes it is difficult to watch someone beat you. especially when you feel like you deserve it (i went through that because i thought i deserved to play junior year but my coach didnt think that)
i know its tough. i think what you have to do is talk to your coach. PRIVATLY. make sure sue and the other captain and your mom don't hear. talk to him (dont yell) and discuss what the problem is. tell him how you feel and that you believe you deserve the spot and worked hard for it. another thing, you can't say "i've been on varsity longer so therefore i deserve it" it doesn't matter how long you've been on varsity... you could be on varsity for 6 years but still be average and not improve. talk to your coach and understand why he picked her as a captain. ask him to give reasons. he might say stuff like- well she's better, a better leader, etc.
its honestly really silly if she's captain just because she is "liked" more. who cares if people like her? the captains on my volleyball team were bitches and mean to everyone. but they were leaders. we were soo close to making it to the state tournament. it was all because of them. sue could be the "most liked" but is she really the best leader? the best captain? ask your coach that. make him realize that "the best liked" isnt necessarily the "best capatain". its like having the prettiest girl in school go to an ivy league college like Yale or Harvard.. she might be really dumb but somehow gets into an intelligent school like that just because of her looks. its stupid and not right. make your coach realize that.
but you have to realize, if he picks her because she is comitted and a better leader.. you have to realize that its best for the team. she could really step it up and make the team great. so don't be jealous of her. IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS.. YOU HAVE TO WORK YOUR ASS OFF FOR IT. i really mean that. you have to be so committed to being great. and not necessarily skill wise. captains do not have to be amazing players. they dont have to be the best gymnast in your case. they can be the most encouraging people on the team. the most spirited. the person with the most leadership. thats what a captain is. its not just how good they are or how much they are liked.. its about what they can bring to the team.
if you really want it, you have to work for it. be loud. be encouraging. be a leader. support your teammates. push them to be better. practice practice practice. do extra work!!! if your practice goes until 4pm.. stay a little longer until 5pm and work by yourself. OR even better, ask your coach for a 1 on 1 lesson. ask for help and learn everything you can.
and finally, to encourage you even more.. think about the look on sue's face when she see's how much you've improved and how badly you want this. coaches change their mind. don't forget that. my coach changed his mind in the middle of senior year for me. your coach can do the same. he might pick sue right now but don't lose hope. if you work hard enough, he can change his mind and pick you as a captain.
hard work pays off :) inbox me if you need more help.
PS: don't forget to show good sportsmanship... meaning, don't be bitchy towards sue. don't try to dig dirt at her and push her down or make her feel bad/less than herself. if you do that, your coach will notice and that means he won't pick you/recognize you. be nice to her. be nice to EVERYBODY. and work hard for yourself. coaches notice everything. even if you stay after practice to work longer. or if you pick up trash or clean up after everybody leaves. or come in early and get prepared mentally. coaches will notice and your coach might realize he made the wrong mistake. prove him and sue wrong.
hey.. thanx for the advice i understand what you are saying but whenevER i did that previously, it always ended up where he always asks me to phone him and then its da whole mxit thing abd sometimes he even ignores me until i sms or phone to see what happens and after all this he starts giving me false hope and messing with my head even though i tell him we jus friends... i also know the type of person he is so he will definitly think that i am still inlove with him and thats the reason for the sms.. hes one on those with a big ego....
you're always welcome for the advice.
and i'm a little confused. you say that it always ends up where he asks you to call him. I dont see why that's a problem. If he wants you to call him, then call him. You don't have to just stick with texting. If you two talk on the phone and it seems like things are awkward or if the topic of you 2 dating comes up, then just switch the topic.
i also wouldn't keep saying- we are just friends. if you keep saying it, he's going to think you're in denial which is just another reason for him to believe youre in love with him. denial is a clue. ESPECIALLY after a break up. instead of saying- we are just friends, try saying something different like "well i should go now. I have other people to talk to". THAT shows that your mind isnt occupied by him. it shows that you have a life outside of him and that you are not interested in him that way.
key thing- play hard to get. not like "hard to get" like the flirting way.. but talk to him, but don't make it seem a big deal. Say hey how was your day, and then say "i need to go bye". don't dwell on him too much. spend like 5 minutes talking to him and then stop. tell him you're busy or you can't talk. if you talk to him for long periods of times, that is another hint that you are "in love with him". or if you see him in school, find another guy to talk with. that lets him know that you aren't just thinking about him. (be careful though. don't want to make him jealous and cause drama or lead on another guy) just casual talk with him and the other guys.
one more thing.. i wouldn't sms him as much. yes its ok if you do it once in a while. like every other 2 days and just say hey hows it going and see how he's doing. but other than that, don't get too carried away. show him that you're over him and PROVE HIM WRONG THAT YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM AND THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A BIG EGO.
i know guys like him. super huge ego's because so many girls like him and he feels like a rockstar. key thing to remember- show some distance. i know you said you want to keep in contact and be friends. but you can't let yourself get too attached to him. stay back a little. if you walk in the halls with him, slow down a little or speed up. see if he follows you. or stop and talk to a friend and see if he keeps on walking. pretend to text another friend while talking to him. just do anything it takes to make him realize you're not in love with him.. but at the same time, say hi and be friendly. don't be mean to him and shove it down his throat. be nice and friendly but show him that you're not as interested.
if he starts to think that you like him more than friends.. just ignore him and he's not worth it then. tell him he's wrong and then walk away. its not worth your time to change his mind if he acts like that.
i hope i helped and don't be afraid to ask more questions if you need to :)
17/f
so my x and i havent spoke for a few months, our past was quite hectic. at the begining we agreed no sex because i wasnt ready and he seemed fine but after some time we had i fight and broke up... after our break up we were sort of friends but he always gave me false hope and took advantage of the fact that i was ''inlove'' with him because he knew how i felt.. during this time he realisesd that i still wasnt goning to get in bed with him and he started acting funny ,i told him to leave me alone but he somehow kept coming back and we were back to sqaure 1.. until i got really tired of it and told him to leave me alone permently, he smsed a few times but i just ignored him... now i really want to talk to him even if its just to say hi bt im scared that im goging to look desparate... plz help???
its just "hi".. how is that going to make you look desperate??
if you want to talk to him again, id suggest starting off easy. start off by saying hello and asking him how his day was. do this for a few days or even weeks until he knows you want to stay in contact. then progressively start talking to him more. the key thing to remember here is to start slow and don't rush things. if you rush things, it may come off as desperate.
then from there you take the wheel.
but i just want to give you my opinion.. i wouldn't trust him entirely right now. i'm not sure what your past was with him, but don't trust him 100% right now. be careful. let him know he has to earn your trust.
inbox me for more help if you need it
I want to dye my hair this color:
http://www.listal.com/person/fernanda-machado
does any one know any temporary dyes that are close to that?
Also my hair is naturally somewhere between blonde and brown and I have brown eyes. I've heard that girls with dark brown eyes are supposed to stay within two shades of their natural color, but I think dark brown eyes and dark brown hair look really good together. Thoughts?
there are tonss of dyes out there. just go to a grocery store or pharmacy store and they will have a huge section on hair color.
pick a brand you like and trust, and pick a color that you'd like. remember to look on the bottom of the box to see if it is permanent or semi permanent.
My favorite brand is Loreal. the color is so natural and doesn't fade that often.
you can also go to the cosmetics department if they have one and ask which color would be suitable for you. they'd be more than happy to help you out :)
About a week ago, my boyfriend Scott and I (we’re both 18) were hanging out and we saw this guy jogging, and Scott said to me, “his boobs are bigger than yours!” For some reason – perhaps I’m just being neurotic and silly – my feelings were really hurt by the comment. Since then I’ve just been feeling really ugly and self conscious. He called me this afternoon and he was all like, “hey, I noticed that you’ve been really quiet lately. Is everything okay? You can always talk to me if you need anything.”
Am I justified in feeling this way? I know that this is a completely ridiculous thing to ask for help about but... I’m kind of at a loss of what to do. I don’t want to talk to him about it because it’s so embarrassing, and I don’t want him to think I’m an insecure, hypersensitive wuss.
i think you should talk to him about it. you don't necessarily have to tell him all the details. just say- the comment you made about the mans boobs being bigger than mine really hurt me and i'd appreciate it if you didn't say something like that again. thanks"
don't feel bad. your boobs couldn't possibly be smaller than mine haha. just know that out there in the world, there are TONS of other girls feeling insecure about their looks like you. you're not alone. be proud of who you are. there are some girls who get boob jobs and plastic surgery because they are that insecure about how they look. be grateful for what you have.
besides, wouldn't you rather have small boobs than huge boobs?? there are bras out there that enhance your size. but theres not really a way to make them smaller..
16/f
There are some people in my class and out of it who always try to get me down.I'm not cocky but I'm really successful at school,good-looking and a good person,they can't stand it and try to make me feel bad.It annoys me to no end but their words don't hurt me.I just wonder why I still listen to them.I shouldn't care about those no-ones at all.I have true friends,a great bf,overall a life I've always wanted-but still sometimes their words get to me.I wonder why...
this hasn't happened to me, but i've seen it happen to my best friend. she owns horses and enjoys horseback riding and racing. there's always the same people in class who make fun of her and ask her "if she's been to the farm lately" and constantly make fun of her for living in a barn (not literally). there was one time when they were making fun of her and laughing at her and she stood up and just walked away. she didn't say anything. she didnt look at them. she just stood up and walked out of the class. no facial expressions. just walked out. everyone became silent and confused on why she did that. then people started whispering "why did she do that? is she upset?" and then i said "do you guys have any idea how many people make fun of her? do you realize how many times she's gotten rude comments from you? everyday she has to deal with you jerks making fun of her? how would you like it if i made fun of you guys for smoking pot all day long?"
at that point.. everyone just shut up and didn't know what to say back.
so try that. talk to a good friend about it and ask him/her if they can stand up for you. OR.. if you have the courage, stand up FOR YOURSELF. don't yell at them. don't be snotty back to them. just say- you know what? i feel bad for you guys. you have put so much effort into making me feel bad, just so you guys can feel good about yourselves.. you guys honestly have no self esteem at all and thats really sad." then just walk away.
its proven that if you literally walk the other direction from people like these.. you show that you're the boss and you're the one who is going to end things. it does not show you are scared.. unless you run away crying. but if you just say something like "shut up" or "wow i feel bad for you guys" and walk away, they are going to wonder why you aren't fighting back. sometimes people enjoy harassing people and making people mad. if you retaliate and yell back at them, its giving them another reason to enjoy it. if you simply walk away, show no anger, they wont get much pleasure from it because it shows that you're not hurt at all.
be strong and be brave :)
I've always been a positive person. Though deep down inside I've dealt with a lot. I hate the person I am, and it's hard to change without any help... I've seriously thought about killing myself so I won't bother those around me, and so I can be done with being miserable. I can't afford to see a Psychologist, and I just want to know if anyone has ever been in this type of situation. A situation where everything is going downhill, you hate your own self, and you seem to have no way out. Thanks to everyone who answers.
oh boy i sound just like you..
i have my moments when everything is great :) i'm happy and carefree.
then i have my moments when everything goes downhill and i feel like i'm losing control of my life. Its normal. a lot of people feel that way too. you're not alone.
I talked to a good friend of mine about how i felt and he said that the reason i feel like my life is sucky is because i'm looking at everything that is wrong in a big picture. If you think about every bad thing at once.. youre gonna feel like you've lost control of your life and feel depressed.
you need to look at things in small pieces. take 1 thing that you don't like. lets say its your grades in school. (i dont know if this is in your case) but lets say your grades suck. just focus on 1 thing at a time and try to get better at that. then once your grades improve, go onto the next problem. lets say you dont get along with parents. try to solve that. you know what i mean? just solve your problems one at a time. you can't solve everything at once in one night. It WILL take a lot of time and effort. but you need to be ready for that and committed to improving your life.
if something gets better but then gets worse again, don't lose hope! everything happens for a reason. some things fall apart so better things can fall together. if you and a friend don't get along, then it wasn't meant to be for you 2 to be friends.
also, if it helps you, make a huge long list of everything you love about yourself. start off with big things like- i never give up, i'm confident. then go into smaller categories like- i have good hair, i manage time well, i'm responsible.
things like that will boost your self esteem. if you only think about the bad stuff in life, you wont be happy. Think of the glass as half full instead of half empty :)
inbox me if you have more questions :) i'd love to help you.