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Varsity Captains
Well I have been on our schools varsity gymnastics team since i was in 7th grade. and i am now in 10th grade, so i have been on the team for 4 years now. The only way you can be on the team as a 7th or 8th grader is to pass the selective classification testing, and one of my friends ( lets call her sue ) could not pass that as a middle schooler, so she joined when she was in 9th grade. And i was really good friends with everyone on my team my first two years. As soon as i brought sue onto the team, everyone liked sue more than me. I am the type of person who is super funny and stuff with my friends and people i am close to, but i am super shy around people i don't really know that well. so all those people who i was close to, began to be people i wouldn't be myself around. I am very nice and was always kind to them and would let out a funny crack now and then, but i could not compete with sue, who is one of those people everyone likes.
So we had our banquet for this past year and our coach was to announce the captains for next year. The tradition is that the 2 oldest ( grade wise ) would be captains. Since we have a senior on the team, she will be captain automatically. However, me and sue will both be juniors next year. I thought our coach would pick me because i have been in it two more years than sue. but all of a sudden there was rumor of a vote, and sue would definitely win because she well liked over me. So at the banquet, our coach announced that we voted, and sue was to be the other captain. However, i asked all the girls on the team and we did not vote at all. so either one of two things happened:
(1) The senior captain ( who is a brat ( not to be mean but seriously ) ) could have told our coach that we voted and sue won. she is very close with sue and would love to have her as a co- captain.
(2) Our coach just picked sue.
Now here is the real problem. My mom is furious and demands i talk to the coach about it. Which i so would, but i have to see him every thursday at regular non-school practice and sue and the other captain are there as well. but if i don't say something, my mom will, so i am going to say something, but idk what. I mean what if the coach did just " choose" sue to be the other captain, does he know that i was on if for more years? and that is embarrassing for him and me then. and then having to see him EVERY week... or am i just being a shy doormat person? I think i earned that spot!
So, i guess what i am asking is if you know how i should approach my coach and what should i say?
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my opinion is that you're jealous of sue.
i've had pretty much the same experience as you. i play volleyball and have been on varsity since i was a sophomore. there was this other girl who was competing for the same spot as me (same age) she was on Jv during sophomore year. so i beat her that year. but then junior year came and she made varsity and i was a benchwarmer watching her get all the credit and glory. yes i admit i was jealous. i believe you are jealous of sue because someone better than you came along and gets all the attention. i know how you feel. it sucks. back to my story.. junior year was hell for me. i felt like i was forced to watch her play and then she would always rub it in my face that she gets to play and i didnt get any playing time. then comes senior year. pre-season i decide that this is MY YEAR. MY SPOT. MY TEAM. i was determined to beat her and that i was fed up with the past and for once i wanted things to go my way. i worked my ass off and beginning of the season was rocky. she was starting but we shared playing time. i kept working hard and then next thing i know, coach puts me as a starting player. things kept getting better and better and i improved each day and she was getting madder and madder because i was finally beating her.
so yes, that is my story and i believe that you shouldn't get jealous over sue. you have to realize that there is ALWAYS going to be someone better than you out there. whether its gymnastics, jobs, etc. you just have to be happy with what you've got.
you're not a horrible person :) you're obviously something special if you have been on varsity for a long time and if a lot of people like you. just give it time. yes people probably like sue right now. she might be better than you but first step is admitting it. no resason to hate her just because she's more talented. the way i look at it is.. don't you WANT someone great on the team?? don't you want an amazing team?? don't you want your team to be successful..? maybe sue has the capability to enhance your team and make it better :) yes it is difficult to watch someone beat you. especially when you feel like you deserve it (i went through that because i thought i deserved to play junior year but my coach didnt think that)
i know its tough. i think what you have to do is talk to your coach. PRIVATLY. make sure sue and the other captain and your mom don't hear. talk to him (dont yell) and discuss what the problem is. tell him how you feel and that you believe you deserve the spot and worked hard for it. another thing, you can't say "i've been on varsity longer so therefore i deserve it" it doesn't matter how long you've been on varsity... you could be on varsity for 6 years but still be average and not improve. talk to your coach and understand why he picked her as a captain. ask him to give reasons. he might say stuff like- well she's better, a better leader, etc.
its honestly really silly if she's captain just because she is "liked" more. who cares if people like her? the captains on my volleyball team were bitches and mean to everyone. but they were leaders. we were soo close to making it to the state tournament. it was all because of them. sue could be the "most liked" but is she really the best leader? the best captain? ask your coach that. make him realize that "the best liked" isnt necessarily the "best capatain". its like having the prettiest girl in school go to an ivy league college like Yale or Harvard.. she might be really dumb but somehow gets into an intelligent school like that just because of her looks. its stupid and not right. make your coach realize that.
but you have to realize, if he picks her because she is comitted and a better leader.. you have to realize that its best for the team. she could really step it up and make the team great. so don't be jealous of her. IF YOU REALLY WANT THIS.. YOU HAVE TO WORK YOUR ASS OFF FOR IT. i really mean that. you have to be so committed to being great. and not necessarily skill wise. captains do not have to be amazing players. they dont have to be the best gymnast in your case. they can be the most encouraging people on the team. the most spirited. the person with the most leadership. thats what a captain is. its not just how good they are or how much they are liked.. its about what they can bring to the team.
if you really want it, you have to work for it. be loud. be encouraging. be a leader. support your teammates. push them to be better. practice practice practice. do extra work!!! if your practice goes until 4pm.. stay a little longer until 5pm and work by yourself. OR even better, ask your coach for a 1 on 1 lesson. ask for help and learn everything you can.
and finally, to encourage you even more.. think about the look on sue's face when she see's how much you've improved and how badly you want this. coaches change their mind. don't forget that. my coach changed his mind in the middle of senior year for me. your coach can do the same. he might pick sue right now but don't lose hope. if you work hard enough, he can change his mind and pick you as a captain.
hard work pays off :) inbox me if you need more help.
PS: don't forget to show good sportsmanship... meaning, don't be bitchy towards sue. don't try to dig dirt at her and push her down or make her feel bad/less than herself. if you do that, your coach will notice and that means he won't pick you/recognize you. be nice to her. be nice to EVERYBODY. and work hard for yourself. coaches notice everything. even if you stay after practice to work longer. or if you pick up trash or clean up after everybody leaves. or come in early and get prepared mentally. coaches will notice and your coach might realize he made the wrong mistake. prove him and sue wrong.
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