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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
hi ive been with my common-law husband for 41/2 years now we use to have a computer almost a yrea ago but we got rid of it cuz my husband started doing things on it like cybersex with other women ive cought him and that and he use to jack-off with other women on cam too so we got into a big fight and got rid of the computer well now we have another computer with no cam which im happy for but hes starting to cyber againasking women to see there cam and to show there tits plus sending pictures of his penis and asking if they would suck it things like that and it really bugs me cuz it makes me feel like im nothing ive tryed talking to him about it but i truns into a fight now i dont know what to do im scared im lost im very upset cuz before we ever got a computer we had a great life now that we have one hes always on it at night and our sex life went down hill and so did our life too please give me some advice thank you
No more talking . Its time for action . A marriageis personal and only between married people . Your husband is not respecting you and the vowes he made to you on the day you were married because, he's going around and is showing his penis to other women THAT ARE NOT MARRIED TO HIM . You said that you've given him chances and I think he's cheating on you b/c , that camcorder is just the same as cheatin . Its up to you . What do you want out of this relationship ? Do you want to watch your husband for the next ten years sending a picture of his penis to other women . If you do, then that's up to you . But I think that he hasn't really committed himself to you and that by doing this, he clearly doesn't respect you . Oh, if you culd , please rate my advice . Talk to him again .
Ok im 19 years old, 190lbs. and 5'7 i need to lose weight fast but i dont know how please help
OK . You need to exercise or diet . Or you could take cortislim . You could do stomach crunches , situps, push ups, squats, plies, platates . You have to eat veges only though . Add only one serving of protein in your dieting like meat . Oh, please rate my answer .
I like putting people in mildly uncomfortable situations to see how they react- like they're all a science experiment to me. I can't seem to get close to anyone outside my immediate group of friends.
Is this because i've had issues of abandonment in the past? (mother committing suicide when i was 3 and dad taking off, am living with aunt and uncle now).
or perhaps is it because i'm surrounded by idiots in my school?
i don't put anyone in immediate danger or anything, i just get people frustrated by denying them things. is it wrong/bad?
What do you want ? Do you want to get along with people ? Look, there are going to be some people who you will not identify with at school, and it will be a little hard . Maybe it is because, you have issues when it comes to being abandoned . I think you're afraid of letting someone get close to you emotionally or physically because, you're afraid they'll leave you or something terrible will happen to your relationship . Well, I think it is time you conquer this fear even if you haven't noticed you may have it . This fear you have is holding you back, and it may be that you don't get along with students at your school because, THEY'RE IDIOTS . Try to work out your feelings and try not to anger others . When you work out your issues , you will be happy and you'll understand yourself .Please, rate my answer . This is Courtney . By !!!
i havnt seen my boyfriend in two monthes. he just ask me out about 3 weeks ago. im planning on seeing him this weekend. i'm not excatly sure how he is though. like, what kind of girl he likes, i met him at a birthday party. he likes being chased around and stuff so thats a good way to flirt. but i dont know weather to wear like, a lowcut shirt or look all goody 2 shoes. im not asking him cuz that might be a wierd question. i got the pants picked out. they are a navy green color so grass stains wont look as bad. and he hasnt had his first kiss yet. i want that to be me but i dont wanna like just kiss him cuz it might be important to him who his first kiss is and all that stuff. i dont really know what the main question of this is but whatever you can give advice on will help. please and thank you! bye!
signed,
lovin-him
I think you should follow your heart because, if you really want to go for it, you should . Its all up to you . All I have to say is be careful what you do with this boyfriend . I am not trying to put a curse on you or your relationship,( please knock on wood because, I don't want a bad reputation) but I think that you're moving too fast because, the realtionship began three weeks ago and the relationship may not last that long . He may not care as he may seem to care . I think you should let your relationship grow before you start thinking about low cut shirts, kissing, and the tight jeans that are stained . Give it some time and if its right, then go for it . Oh, please rate my answer . I'm Courtney by the way !
I'm 13 and I want a dog. I have never had one in my entire life. I need a friend because no onle likes me, what should I do? PS I know who you are!
You are thirteen and you need a dog . Well, ask your parents . Tell them that you will clean up its mess and tell them that anything the dog does, you will be responsible for . First, they will say that you're not responsible because you don't maybe clean up after yourself(I don't know). You have to mention this before they do because, it will make them seem like you really want to have the dog . Sometimes it makes parents think that you will asume responsibility by saying this before they do . They will probably make you take care of something for a certain amount of time . Take care of it and don't take it to school because, you may have some jerk that'll intentionally destroy it . Whatever your parents throw at you , you have to come back quick aand certain . Look them in their eye and don't blink . This is Courtney . What I said, try it . Oh , will you rate this advice . Have a nice day !!!!
I wasn't really sure where to put this, so I picked friendship, since it has to do with a friend.
Okay, so it's indirectly about my best friend. Her name is Lisa. But it's also about her boyfriend. His name is Tyler.
So, recently, Tyler told me that he's wanted to ask me out since he first came to our school in the middle of this year. (I'm a girl, in case you people didn't already figure that out.) I've always liked him, but I never let on. But now, he knows.
So, today, I stayed after school, because I didn't want to go home and clean my room. (It's a MESS.) Well, Tyler ALWAYS stays after school. For reasons unbeknownst to me. (I hope I spelled that right.)
Well, at first, we were just sitting at the picknick table, talking. About nothing, really. Then we got onto the subject of us liking eachother. Which quickly turned into flirting.
I had a metal... Thing, I have no idea what it was... in my hand. Well, Tyler took it. I tried to get it back, wich turned into us holding hands. Which turned into a kiss... Which turned into a make-out session...
Now, Lisa is my very best friend in the whole wide world, and I'd rather do ANYTHING than hurt her... But I think I just did.
We both knew it was wrong. And it was. Now I'm wondering what I should do. Please help me. :(
I think you should tell your friend Lisa because, hiding something this big from her could ruin your friendship because, honesty and being able to understand each other is really what a friendship is based on . You need to hear tell her because, hiding this will only make matters worse . It may bring up some trust issues and it may be a possibility of your friendship crushing , but atleast she heard it from you not someone else. She should understand , but don't be supprised if she doesn't speak to you and you can't get mad at her because, YOU MADE OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND . NOT ALL OF IT IS YOUR FAULT, BUT YOU NEED TO TELL THAT BOYFRIEND OF HER'S THAT -THAT NO LONGER CAN HAPPEN WHILE HE IS INVOLVED WITH YOUR FRIEND . Later, she will come to respect your decision . I hope you consider the possibility .
Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl.
Well there is this guy, 15. I have known him from 7th to 8th grade. When I first met him I liked him as a friend. Then my friend told me she liked him. After a while I liked him too. He was really cute and I couldn't take my eyes off him. From then on sometimes I talked to him (rarely, I was too shy)He gave me high fives and was really, really, nice to me. One day he put his arm around me and everyone in class saw (he is popular.) I think he knew I liked him (I smiled at him and everything, even his friends, who are girls, figured out I liked him.)It was great!
But then this year I didn't have him in any classes. At the begining I smiled at him a few times and made eye contact. He smiled too. But then on he totaly ignored me and didn't say anything to me. Then all my friends figured out I liked him and told him. They said he didn't care, but he was smiling. Finally I wrote him a corney little note (my guy-friend gave it to him) and it in I told him I liked him because he was nice to me. (He already had a really pretty girlfriend and already had sex with her. A lot of people at my school had.) He didn't write me back or say anything to me. But he looked at me all the time and when he did I looked away. Then a long time after that my stupid 7th grader friend told me something, I think he said that guy I liked, liked me. I asked him what he said but he wouldn't tell me. My friend thought she heard him say that too. He could be lying. I don't trust him.
I don't know why he won't talk or say anything to me. Is it my hair, my glasses, my clothes? I don't know. But everyone says I'm really pretty. I don't think I'm his type.
Please someone give me as much advice as you can! (I can't ask him because I'm too shy!) Thank you so much! Sorry it was so long!
This guy seems like a jerk . Don't worry , I fell for the same type to . See, here's my story . I liked the huy and like grew to obsession and a hard knock crush . He got very popular the year we returned to school and I would get some looks and little eye contact . See, the thing is that he was playing with my feelings just to make himself feel important and cool . I think this guy is doing the same thing to you . Don't let him do this to you . Don't pay attention to this guy and start paying and focusing your attention to someone else . He'll then see that you are not going to wait for him . I'm not saying that he will come running to you with open arms and stuff like that , but you need to move on . You neeed to ask him do he likes you . In personal . If he responds like a jerk kick him to the curve . He doesn't deserve you . You're better than him .
My husband is a sweet guy but sometimes I think he has his priorities mixed up. He was going to bring his friend flowers for her B-day, which I was fine with, but he found out she is having a few stressful problems and now wants to give her a spa package, which is like $60-$80. We are not poor, but money is a little tight, we already went to an expensive dinner with her, isn't that enough?
I would never spend that much even on my family. What makes me mad is that he is so determined to do something nice for her, but he wouldn't go out and get his mother a card for Mothers Day. Or for Valentines Day I got flowers a week before just because, but on the actual day, I was home sick with the flu and I got nothing, and we never did anything later. I know his heart is in the right place, but I wish he would put the people that really love him up higher on his priority list. Am I being selfish, or jealous, or am I right to be upset?
You should talk to your husband . Tell him how you feel because, your worrying and if he's a good man, then don't worry . Talk to him and discuss the following issues about this topic, and include how you feel . Don't make it as if you're trying to accuse him of cheating , but tell him that it really bothers you . In marriage , you will go through stuff . You have to start conversing about certain things because, keeping them bottled up inside are just creating bigger problems for your marriage and your family . I don't think your husband is cheating on you. If he understands why you came to confront him with the problem, he may come to think that you don't trust him .Don't let him turn this into a trust issue though because, a topic like this is very important . After talking to him and the misterious behavior turns up weeks later or even month's then clearly something is going on, but your husband may be trying to help this woman with a problem of her's . Talk to him and don't accuse him of anything . Tell him you just want to know . Remember, don't let him turn this into a trust issue because, this topic is very important . By .
Is using a condom totally necessary if you are giving a guy head? If you don't swallow the semen and rinse out your mouth afterward what are the risks?
Yes, a condom is necessary when giving someone head . I think because, I haven't had any experience when it comes to giving guys head . You should always tell the guy to wear a condom because, even when you wash your mouth out, there the semen still lies . You could get a STD or most importantly you could get HIV which leads to AIDS . Be careful . By .
BTW~ this is a question I asked earlier but I'm repeating it cuz I continue to search for more imput. *'s are additions
Hiya!
I'm Annie (13, fem, MD). There's this guy and we used to be together like last year but I gave him the dump. I'm starting to feel that it was a mistake- I mean thinking about it, I can't remember why I dumped him in the first place. It was for my own good, and I know good from bad, don't smoke straight-A's only drink a little is my description. But this guy- he's so amazing. I totally can talk to him really closely and he has all these amazing aspirations for his life. He hangs with me at parties a little but he's a little safe- no kissing, no sex, though he is a druggie. I like the fact that he has very few friends- I admire people who don't require a possie to function. SO anyway, you probably are accustomed to giving guys advice but I really hope you can help me. I need to know if he likes me at all. How can I tell? And if so, what moves should I make, like how fast should I make them, aswell? And what can I do to keep him liking me? Please help!
*muah*
***~I'm pretty cute looking, but I havee kinda small boobs. Would him being predjudice against that be a big factor in the eqation, particularly at this age? Do guys REALLY care about that?
I think that you should talk to him and ask him what he thinks about a relationship . If he says yes, then give it a try . If he says no, leave him alone . If you two get involved with each other again, don't get involved with drugs. I think that he respects you , and that is a good thing .
OK i can't choose what to do. My boyfriend and I broke up over 6 months ago. But him and I been through so much and went out for over a year. Him and I broke up because he jsut put me through so much. He broke into my house. But my family forgave him because of the family problems he was having. His mother treated him really bad. My mom thinks he treated me wrong sometimes because he loved me and he dind't know how to show me becuase he wasn't taught how to love. I thought i ws over him but i think about him all the time. And he had my bestfirend tell me he said hi. But the last time we broke up he had the nerve to call me and ask me how he should ask otu this girl. I told him to never calle dback. he did and he told me to just listen to him. he dind't understand y i got so mad. DUh i told him. Because i was the one for you and you all of a sudden thinks its going to be ok for you to ask me how to ask a girl for you. And then later he called to tell me he had sex wit her and then after that i never talked to him again. I can't get him out of my mind. I know he is the one. But i don't know if i shouldc all him or just let it be and stop thinking what it could or should have been. PLEASE someome help. Love, Sierra Email me at SDRAngel2002@aol.com NO POST THANKS
I think you should give it another try because, he hasn't been shown that much love from his mother . So, this should persuade you a little to give him another chance .I think both of you love each other deeply and I hope that I am lucky like you someday and find someone who truely loves me . I know that you are mad because, he slept with someone else , but that's
I dont know what to do I still like my ex-boyfriend. but he doesnt like me anymore. ever since we broke up he hasnt been talking to me. we messed around while we were going out and he told everyone at school what we did. what should i do move on or talk to him and try to get with him again?
You should really move on . You seem so nice and you deserve better than him . He seems like a jerk because, he told everyone at school what you two did . To me , he had to make up rumors (maybe true) to make or convince his self that he is a real man . That makes him feel important and popular . Don't let this bother you . You were in a relationship and you did what you thought was best for you and him . That is your business and his and no one else . That shows that he's a big jerk , and you deserve better . Move on honey . Have a good day .
Hey Advice columnist i was wondering if you coud help me with a problem I have.
Okay I'm a 14 year old gurl and have had my period sence I was 12, But I have always used pads. What my question is, there really as many risks to using tampons than just pads? my mother keeps saying that they'er awful and that they can get stuck. I have done my home work and know that they'er is very slim chance of getting TSS. But what I want to know is do they really get stuck? I don't believe that they do but I'm asking this for a reason to make sure.
I'm jsut so tired when i have my period that im wet. EWWW!!! and summer will come and I can't go to pool parties with my period unless Im wearing a tampon.
Sometimes , tampons get stuck and it really freeks woman out . I don't use them because, they say that woman who have used tampons have died . It's just that you have to be cautious and have less physical activity . This means that you cant run that much and that you can't do normal things that you would without your period . I would use pads ok bye .
well i no this guy hes so cute, he used to like me but now he likes a differnt girl what do i do?
HELP ME PLEASE!
p.s. im 13years old tell me what to do @
CrazyGurl_9304@yahoo.com
I know exactly how you feel . It's just that if he likes a different girl, there is nothing you and I can do about it . Maybe you should tell him how you feel about him . It will help you probably . If you are in school, be careful because, he may start a rumor about you and some of us don't like rumors . I know it may not be easy said as done but ask him ok . If the answer is no, move on , and this will not be easy . If his answer is yes, then you have to decide where you go from there in that relationship . Love you. By .
I can't see straight anymore. I am a 40 year old divorced woman. The man that I've lived with for the past 6 years, that I was to marry, that my three kids call stepfather and my family has accepted as my mate has told me he wants no relationship which requires any devotion, dedication or commitment. To be honest, I cannot come up with such a relationship.
We have been in a relationship which is a certificate away from being married. All of our money, friends, and experiences are entwined in each others. He and my children have been my life for as long as I care to remember. The only thing I have asked for him to do is to give me a symbol of the relationship we have been living for six years. (Tell his family. Give me a frienship ring. Kiss me in public. Anything.)
What should I do now? Am I over-reacting in saying that there is no relationship available to us without some sort of dedication? Help!
THE QUESTION IS , WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ? TO ME, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WANT COMMITMENT , MARRIAGE, DEVOTION, AND TRUE LOVE . THATS OK BECAUSE, IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, I'D WANT THE SAME THING TOO .IT'S JUST THAT YOU'VE BEEN WITH THIS GUY FOR 6 YEARS , AND HE HASN'T ASKED YOU TO MARRY HIM AND HE SHOWS NO SIGN OF COMMITMENT AT ALL . 6 YEARS . MAYBE HE HAS PROBLEMS WITH THAT BUT 6 YEARS , HE WELL GOT'S TO GO . I MEAN YOUR IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY AND YOUR FALLING IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN, AND IT SEEMS LIKE ALL HE IS DOING IS, WILLING TO LET YOU FALL FOR HIM . GOING THROUGH THE PAIN . YOU DON'T KNOW THE TRUTH OR HOW HE FEELS ? TALK TO HIM ABOUT CERTAIN TOPICS AND BRING UP COMMITMENT , DEVOTION , MARRIAGE . ASK HIM HOW HER FEELS ABOUT THESE TOPICS .IF YOU LIKE HIS RESPONSE KEEP'EM . IF YAH DON'T , GET 'RID OF HIM . YOU CAN SPEND ANOTHER 6 YEARS WAITING .
I went out with my ex for almost 2 years and me and him took a break and he is now going out with my friend sinamin. I still love him dearly but he says that ever since I have been hanging out with my friend carol (who is living with me intill june 1st), I have changed for the worst and he loves and misses the girl I used to be. I am willing to change for him. whats your opinion?
My name is gina and iam a sixteen year old female.
You and this guy have been going out for two years and you change just because some girl named Carol . THATS COOL . What way does your boyfriend mean you have changed for the worst ? Does that mean you are drinking, partying hard, and doing drugs because, if you are I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU AS WELL . The question is that's important is ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE GIRL YOUR X WANTS YOU TO BE ? WERE YOU EVER HAPPY BEING THAT GIRL ? Questions like these are important . At times, you can't loose yourself for others . It sometimes depends on your happiness . ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE? It's all up to you .My opinion is my ADVICE ,AND TO MOST IMPORTANTLY: FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
my best friend has 2 other bff and i just got used to it! but i can't stand one of them! no offence to my bff but i don't know what she is thinking! this girl is everything you would not want in a friend!
what should i do?
I know you only want what's best for your friend, but these are her friends , and you have to respect that . If you think that these friends may influence her to drink, do drugs, or smoke then you need to talk about that with her . As long as she isn't influencing her to do negative things , then I am cool with the friendship . I know you are trying to do what's best for your friend , but this will probably start conflict between you two if you were to approach her like this . By .
ok well theres this guy i really like a lot but i dont have the guts to ask him out or talk to him and i think he might like me too but if im to nervous how do i ask or get to know him? and i dont want friends doing it for me so thats an even bigger problem what should i do?
I think you should get to know him . I wish I would have taken my own advice , but getting to know someone forms a bond . Bring it to this person's attention that you want to get to know him . You are going to feel more nervous about this, but if you really want to find out how he feels about you - talk and get to know him . When a LITTLE TIME HAS PASSED ,tell him how you feel .
Ask him how he would feel . I also think if you wanted to be with him enough, you would ask him . It's so hard and you don't want rumors around the school, but atleast you'll know the truth . Just remember that there is always a chance of getting hurt . I'd stick with getting to know him . It's up to you though .
i am not too fat but i want to slim down alittle bit.please how can i do dat
Do some situps, pushups, dieting, and walking and running . Try to dedicate yourself . I used to weigh more than others for my age , but I lost ten to fifteen pounds when I was dieting for four weeks . It's possible and if I can do it, you definetly can .
There is a place in California that has a red bridge but i forget the name of it. Do you know what it is called?
If its in San Fransico, it's the Golden Gate Bridge . Peace homes .