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Am I right to be upset?
My husband is a sweet guy but sometimes I think he has his priorities mixed up. He was going to bring his friend flowers for her B-day, which I was fine with, but he found out she is having a few stressful problems and now wants to give her a spa package, which is like $60-$80. We are not poor, but money is a little tight, we already went to an expensive dinner with her, isn't that enough?
I would never spend that much even on my family. What makes me mad is that he is so determined to do something nice for her, but he wouldn't go out and get his mother a card for Mothers Day. Or for Valentines Day I got flowers a week before just because, but on the actual day, I was home sick with the flu and I got nothing, and we never did anything later. I know his heart is in the right place, but I wish he would put the people that really love him up higher on his priority list. Am I being selfish, or jealous, or am I right to be upset?
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As a woman and his wife, you have every right to be upset. It has been my experience in situations like these that men like to show off. I think he is trying to show her what a caring man he is and is not realizing the message he is sending to you or any other women that holds priority in his life. Tell him to cut out the nonsense!
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You certainly have a right to be upset. Certainly, certainly, certainly.
Talk to him about his jumbled priorities, and explain how it makes you feel. Make sure you don't put the woman he is being so generous to down in the process, for it isn't her fault that she is being treated so well by your husband.
Good luck.
xoxo,
Marisa. (xxgorgeouslyjealous)
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seems like your husband is more than friends with this women. and that the dinner was enough. and there isnt going to be anymore and if he dont like he needs to choose you or her. so put your foot down. and let him know about it.
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well you really need to look at what your husbands motives are or maybe he dosent really undertsand the hidden agenda that he has going on seems like he has some hidden attraction for his friend and dosent know how to represent it besides the obvious giving gifts i would relly talk to him and see what his motives are, or if he is just plain blind to what is going on in his life sometimes you need to wake up a person that has issues being honest with htemselves....anissa
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This sounds a little bit suspicious to me. I understand someone being sweet, and I too would send my friend flowers on his birthday, but unless he was a really, REALLY GOOD friend (hmm...) I don't think I'd spend $60-80 on a spa package for him.
I think there's a little bit of odd activity going on with your husband, and from the point of view of someone who has a very longterm relationship, I would have some mental questions.
Of course there is the thought that she's more important to him than you, so the logical question is Why? If the answer your mind supplies is "cheating", then examine that. Go ahead and be jealous because after all, he IS your husband, and while it's wrong to build a fence around him, it is NOT wrong to expect respect and devotion from him. Marriage after all is not *just* two people that happen to live together having separate lives. That's college roommates.
I suggest you talk to him about what's going on, and say that although you love the way he has enough affection to give to others, you're upset that you aren't getting as much affection as you feel you're due. It may be he simply thinks you _know_ he loves you, so he won't go out of his way to court you, as it were.
Do your best to communicate and put him on the spot if you must, but don't leave it unresolved and 'don't go to bed angry'.
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You aren't selfish. You may have a right to be jealous, but from the way you wrote this, it sounds like that he just has his priorities mixed up. (I hope you handle most of the finances.)
It sounds like he is over-generous sometimes, and maybe impulsive with money. I have people in my family who are like that too. You are right to be upset, but he may just be like this, and may not change. Just try to explain to him that the people he gives a lot to should be very important to him. It communicates how much he cares. So he should give more to his mother (and you.)
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Sit down with your husband and discuss your feelins for what you want to do for mothers day. Ask him if he remembers his wedding. Tell him you loved that feeling, and you want to get closer. Or by one of those get married couples closer book. ask him if he loves you more than your friend and then say then why do you act like you like her more. Just tell him you love him, and love will set it all straight. BYE.........
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You should talk to your husband . Tell him how you feel because, your worrying and if he's a good man, then don't worry . Talk to him and discuss the following issues about this topic, and include how you feel . Don't make it as if you're trying to accuse him of cheating , but tell him that it really bothers you . In marriage , you will go through stuff . You have to start conversing about certain things because, keeping them bottled up inside are just creating bigger problems for your marriage and your family . I don't think your husband is cheating on you. If he understands why you came to confront him with the problem, he may come to think that you don't trust him .Don't let him turn this into a trust issue though because, a topic like this is very important . After talking to him and the misterious behavior turns up weeks later or even month's then clearly something is going on, but your husband may be trying to help this woman with a problem of her's . Talk to him and don't accuse him of anything . Tell him you just want to know . Remember, don't let him turn this into a trust issue because, this topic is very important . By .
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I don't believe that you're being selfish or jealous. I think that you have the right to be upset. I believe that I'd be upset as well if I were in a situation like this. Have you tried talking w/ your husband about this? It does seem as if his priorities are a bit mixed up and if you wish that he would put the people that really love him up higher on his priority list then talk w/ him about this b/c if you don't then nothing is going to change and you're most likely going to continue being upset w/ him and that might lead to problems later on. Try sitting him down and having a talk w/ him. Tell him why you're upset. Allow him to see how you're taking all of this in. I mean he wants to give his "friend" a spa package, but yet he couldn't even get his mother a mothers day card for mothers day and he didn't get you anything for v-day nor did he do anything w/ you after you were over the flu. The expensive dinner w/ this 'friend' should be enough especially if the money issue is a little tight w/ you and your husband. Try talking w/ him that's all you can do.
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