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Whos wrong?
Hey Spacefem, I got a problem. Im in jr high, 7th grade, and one of my friends is really weird. Shes always gossiping and such, and at my school, teachers crack down HARD on stopping it. Im 100% against gossip, 1 because it hurts people, and 2 because its not minding your own business. Im always telling her to stop it, or shell get in big trouble, and she listens slightly, but 10 minutes later she is doing it again, and naturally, gets in trouble. the other day I reminded her of what would happen, and out of nowhere she bursts out "Just stop telling me what to do!" Which I find odd. Even though I constantly remind her to stop gossiping, she tells me to do way more things than I tell her. Im her note-passer, bookkeeper, saxophone-carrier, and a bunch of other random things. Im wondering, what should I do? Am I really being -that- bossy about her getting in trouble?
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I say you should stop acting like her mother. Stop doing so much for her. She is a big girl, she can carry her own things. And she is old enough to know from right and wrong, you don't need to remind her constantly. Maybe if she got in trouble for gossiping, she might learn a lesson.
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You are not being bossy, don't worry. You are just watching out for her. Maybe instead of telling her every single time, just try and sit down with her and let her know why you keep telling her she needs to stop and tell her how you feel. If she keeps gossiping anyways...just try to ignore it. I know it'll be hard not to say anything to her about it because youre worried about her getting into trouble, but just try. Good luck!
*FallenAngel*
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I think you are being too bossy. You care about her, but she doesn't appreciate it, so I think the best thing you can do is just let her do what she wants to do.
Since you say you are her "note-passer, bookkeeper, saxophone-carrier, and a bunch of other random things" I think you are way too worried about her and more involved in her life than you should be. Why doesn't she carry her own saxophone, keep her own books, and pass her own notes? It isn't healthy for either of you. You can be her friend but give her more space, and if she gets in trouble, she will learn from it.
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try gossiping around her constetly, andtell someone that your friend is talking about her. Then thir will be a big argument, or send her a note, or if she likes someone make that boy set her straight. You don't need friends ho arn't true. That one best friend will come soon to help you. Or maybe it already has..bye...Write back and tell me the reaction..bye.........
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From reading your post, I don't think that you were being bossy at all. Trying to help a friend stay out of trouble and reminding them of what could happen if they didn't stop doing those things that could cause them to get into trouble...isn't being bossy. It's simply being a good friend. As far as you doing all of those things that she asks you to do - - - - stop doing them. Yes, friends do favors for friends...but that's a bit ridiculous. She can do all of those things herself. I'm not seeing the "friendship" here. Friends aren't like that w/ friends...friends don't do those kinds of things to friends. Seems to me that she's treating you more like a slave then a friend. Take a step back and look at this situation --- do you really want a person like this in your life?? Someone that bosses you around and asks you to do things for them all the time...things that they could do themselves, things that they themselves probably have time to do but are jus to lazy to do them.
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This girl doesn't own you. You are doing her a favor by trying to keep her out of trouble, and she just yells at you and tells you what to do. You don't need a friend like that. And if you do still want to be her friend, stop doing whatever she tells you.
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