Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84202
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I'm taking an online class for college. For an assignment, we have to make a speech outline (a word-for-word replica of a speech), and then we have to present the speech via video.
My professor didn't really specify how to do this. Do you think I'm allowed to use notecards when making my speech? Or should I use my speech outline...or is it all from memory, do you think? (link)
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I take on-line classes too, but thankfully, I have never had to do a speech on video. I think if the cards and or notes are out of the picture, then the professor won't even know. Can you get someone to help you, and hold up cards or something. Even politicians use notes or have a teleprompter. Just be sure to look at the camera as much as possible, and not the notes or cards.
If you can memorize it, that's great, but even if you think you have, and forget a line or two, if you 'ad lib' then that should be oK. The professor just wants assurance that you know your subject.
Good luck to you
Michele
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when do you use moisturizers and toners and etc etc? start with what? (link)
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I can answer that because I am a licenses esthetician. (skin care). First you must cleanse your face with and towel dry. If you are prone to acne, always use a clean fresh towel, not one that other people have been wiping their hands on. (bacteria!) Then you use you toner. Give that a minute or two to dry, then you moisterize. IF it is night time, just to go bed. If it is the AM and you ware makeup. Give the moisturizer about 5 minutes to be absored, then apply makeup.
It is also a good idea to use a mineral based mask one a month.
These are the basics, for young skin.
Hope this helps
Michele
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Hey im in a dilemma lol
Tomorrow is my graduation. I just happened to like a boy today. Im not going to the same high school as him anymore and hes moving out of this area. I really like him and if i spend more time with him this summer, im just going to get more attached and it would be harder for me to let go. What should i do?
Thanks, this is urgent! (link)
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Hi honey, I am glad that you asked me this question. I know that you are young and you want to fall in love forever. And you might think that your first crush, could just be that person. But many of us, and I'm speaking as an adult, can look back on our lives and remember lots of people that we cared about, but for many different reasons, the relationships did not work out. But unless something really bad happened, most of us look back on it fondly. You are too young to make a committment, but not to young to have fun, and enjoy the company of a boy. Would you rather spend the summer without a romantic interest in your life? There are some corny songs that have been written just about this situation. And you'll think they're corny 'cause your young, but when you get older, you'll understand them.
"I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance." (Garth Brooks) or 'tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all" (Shakespeare)
Don't ever miss out on a chance to get to know someone better. People come in and out of our lives for many many reasons. Some of them tragic, and some of them, we are glad to see them go. But that is no reason not to get to know someone better. You are just learning about male and female relationships. Just keep a level head. Being "attached" to someone is better than not liking anyone. And remember he has a say in this also, he may not be attracted to you. It is not all one sided. But that is no reason not to find out. And today with the internet and free minutes on cell phones, you two can stay in touch. He may be lonely where he is going, and will want a friend to talk to, once he starts at his new school. In a few years you'll both be driving and maybe you can drive to go see each other.
I guess my point is, you never know. So my advice is to make friends with this boy, and see what happens. You can never have too many friends, and if it grows into something more, you'll both know it.
GOod luck to you
Michele
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ok
i have dar cirles under my eyes and
theyre nt that bad but there nt aractive either
i sleep enoughijus sleep late
but i wake up late too..
[is that the problem?]
how can i fix it ?
[perferably with out make-up]
thnx
[ (link)
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It could be dehydration, do you drink enough water? How about your ethnic background, do you have olive skin? There are new products out, not make up but, serums that are made to remove dark circles. They are not cheap, but they work.
Check out the cosmetic isle at the drug store, you'll see some. They don't work overnight.
Michele
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16/f (we are all 15 or 16, all female)
Question:
What should I think about all of this?
Is it wrong to not want to forgive them?
Situation:
For months I was excluded from everything by my best friends. They refused to include me yet were nice to my face so I stuck with the group and went through a lot of hurt. I found out others in the group were being excluded too.
So I stood up to the girl who was purposely trying to exclude me, and we got in a huge fight but somehow it was resolved. But not really. Then they started to do it again and an even bigger fight broke out and I left them.
They got people (at least 5 at a time) to try to beat me up. I was harassed by the other people and it was an unfair situation. They harassed me over a computer but had other people do it in person. I tried to resolve the situation (so that I was not in physical danger) and block their computer attempts. The situation seemed hopeless and dangerous for me.
I lived through it all, and somehow, they didn`t make me look bad for very long. Now they mimicked one of our videos (me and my three new best friends, one from the old group) on facebook (which wasn`t about them, it`s about our inside jokes and has nothing to do with them) and made us look like whores in their attempt to copy our video and "ruin" us. They tried to copy our makeup and clothes and told everyone to say who was better, us or them. We ignored them (this happened less than a week ago) and kept ourselves looking good and happy.
Finally, one of the girls (the main one who was excluding me before) broke and told my best friend (from the old group) that she feels like a bitch and wants to be friends with us again.
Please refer to the above question, any insight or advice is greatly appreciated! This has been a nightmare and sometimes I feel lucky to have made it through without being attacked physically. Although that did happen once but I walked away.
Two of the girls leave for a month next friday, and I am not going to forgive them (ever) or before then just so they can feel good about themselves when they leave. In no way do I want to join back into one group of friends, even if my new best friends do, I will stand alone and have no friends. Is this wrong? (link)
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NO it is not wrong at all. YOu see clearly the injustice in the their behavior towards you. NOt all kids can see injustice when they are faced with it. You didn't do anything wrong and you asked to be left alone. You stood up for yourself, and while it sort of backfired, with the old group. They never forgot it. You worked at making some new friends, and that pissed them off. People who behave that way towards an individual, trying to harm them, trying to give them a bad repuations, get really pissed when their plan doesn't work. You did the right thing. You are building character and strength and self confidence. These skills will help you in your adult life, where you will still run into people like these girls, but not as often. And you'll have the freedome to leave. Real life is not like high school. You do meet mature people, and you are not stuck with seeing the same immature people every day. Your strong feelings about injustice may make you a great lawyer some day.
Good luck to you. PS I wouldn't trust that girl at all if I were you. And she needs to learn a lesson, that it is not OK to treat people that way, she burned her bridges with you. It wouldn't have killed her to be nice.
Michele
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do you know where i could find a job that hires at 14? (link)
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I think the only way you could work at fourteen is "under the table", meaning you get paid cash and not by check and you are not on the books.
I once worked at a hair salon at 14, and I washed hair and I got $1.oo per shampoo. (That was a long time ago.) Ask your parents, ask your parents friends, if any of them own companies, maybe they would be willing to pay you to clean up or something, Say you'll do anything, and look real enthusiastic. Stop by all of the stores in town, offer to help, say you'll run errands, dust, sweep, for (name a low price, so they'll go for it.) What about a newspaper route. I know they used to hire kids, even younger than 14, and you get tips.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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I recently bought a large potted plant.
The problem is with my cat. He now feels
that this plant is a good place to go potty.
He is an indoor cat and he has a litter box he
has used for years. Since I got the plant though,
he would much rather use it!
He is slinging dirt all over the place and
I am sure his digging in there isn't helping
my new plant.
Any suggestions on how to get him back
into the litter box without having to
get rid of my plant? (link)
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Try putting dirt in his litter box instead of the clay. And make sure he knows that you have made the change. Maybe two cups of dirt mixed with the clay will solve the problem, rather than filling the whole litter box with it. I would re-pot the plant if I were you, he probably urinated in it, and that is not good for the plant. If you don't want to keep dirt in the litter box forever, (and why would you) you could get some nylon net, it is like a mesh, they sell it at fabric stores, and wrap the pot in the nylong mesh. Gather it under the foliage and tie it with string. You can still water thru it. The cat won't be able to get in there and scratch around.
Michele
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im 15/f
and im going to a soccer camp this july for ten days, and my period is supposed to start the 2nd day that I'm there. And I was wondering what i could do to maybe miss that period or avoid it. I heard birth control does something like that, but I'm not 100% sure.
Anything will help.
Thank You. (link)
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If you start to take birth control pills a few days before you are due to get your period and continue to take them for the seven days it will be delayed, and it will come when you stop taking them. BUT the dosage of the birth control pills that you will be taking has to be the correct dosage for you. That is why they are presecribed by a doctor. If you have your own birth control pills that were prescribed to you, they should work. And when you do get your period, it will be heavey, and just start a new month of pills when you normally would have, usually on the 5th, day of getting your period.
IF they are not the pills that were specifically prescribed for you, then they may not be strong enough and you could have some break thru bleeding.
Michele
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When you apply for a college, when they look at your grades etc. what is your GPA? I was just wondering...
(link)
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Your GPA is an important number. It tells you and the school, how well you are doing. Each course is usually worth 3 credits, if you pass the course you get the three credits, BUT whether or not you got a A in the class or a C will determine what your Grade Point Average is.
An A is worth 4 in grade point average and a B is worth 3 and a C is worth 2, etc. etc.
I think the average and it is also acceptable to have a 2.5 or better. Anything over three is excellent. and if you have a 4.0 grade point average, that means you have received a perfect A in each of your classes.
Michele
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what is the point of the book "invisible man" by ralph ellison? (link)
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Ralph Ellison was a black man. It was sort of a documentary on his life. He felt that being black made him invisible in society. The American Dream didn't exist for people like him, people of color. Opportunities passed him by. He could fall off the face of the earth and no one would notice. He could only get a poor education, he could only get a menial job. He could only live in poor run down neighborhoods. HE wasn't welcome where most white people were welcome. Of course this is how it was in the 50's and 60's. Things are better today.
Michele
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Ok i am so sorry for bringing this topic up... AGAIN for the 3rd time. I did even MORE research and I found out that a lot of shampoos, cosmetics and such have toxic chemicals in them such as sodium lauryl sulfate.
Here is more information
http://www.mypure.co.uk/checklist.php
If you want to, you can even look at the ingredients for a lot of shampoos and see what damage it can do to you.
My question on here is... What is a really good shampoo (makes my hair smooth, silky, shiney, less frizzy, and not damaged from straightening it) and still has no toxic chemicals in it?
oh and if you could, please name some brands of cosmetics, health needs etc.
THANK YOU SO MUCH AND I PROMISE THAT THIS IS THE LAST SHAMPOO QUESTION. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU (link)
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Aveda products are all natural. They are wonderful, and actually do what they say they do. I wish I had tried them long ago, I would have saved a lot of money. They have all kinds of hair and skin products. You can get them at their website, or at an Aveda salon. I highly recommend them.
www.aveda.com
Michele
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Heyy im 16/f and ive had stretch marks on my breasts pretty much since i was little and it really bothers me because when i wear a swimsuit you can see them and i just wanted to know if there is anything i can buy to make them go away? my boobs aren`t even that big, i`ve been a 34B for like 3/4 years now! =/ (link)
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There is a product you can buy it's call Strivectin, it is made specifically for stretch marks. It is expensive. But it works. Now CVS pharmacies have come out with a copy cat product called PREVENTIN AT. That is also for stretch marks. So why not try that, it costs about $25.00, Strivectic costs about $100.00
Good luck to you
Michele
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Do all people masturbated or what? who does it more men or women is it 50/50 or 95% of men and 75% of women? is it healthy? or people just say that to dont feel bad or gross out about them self? and how can you tell if that person does it? (link)
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You can't tell if a person masterbates or not. It is a personal preferance. A lot of people do it, but what percentage of people in the world, or in your town do it, no one knows that. Is it normal? Yes it is perfectly normal, and yes it is healty, as long as it does not interfer with social interaction with other people. Meaning, you shouldn't spend all your time in your room masterbating, instead of spending time with your friends or family. Yeah sure, there are some people who think it is terrible, and don't think anyone should do it, and may even say it is evil, and try to make people who do it, feel bad about it. It is none of their business. And since we don't know how people feel about it, it is best to keep it to yourself. YOu do not have to tell anyone.
Michele
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i've been wondering about this.. i mean im a kid myself, 13, and like i see all these older people that complain about little things they dont like about themself. those people go on to makeover shows, shows where they change their wardrobe and stuff (what not to wear), and even get plastic surgery. now im really against plastic surgery.. unless for medical reasons, but anyways im wondering why kids cant say they are ugly in a way, too. adults think its soo wrong when kids say that when they do it too! and why arent there any kid/teen makeover shows too? i mean i think theres some for teens, but why not preteens or people around my age? that would be cool.. and some people dont think thats right, then why is it right for adults to do it too? now im not saying plastic surgery or anything for the kids, but like.. you know makeover stuff that could improve their confidence and stuff.
its really annoying in other ways cause like theres no tv shows about kids my age that arent like cheesy or anything. why are they so cheesy? and why do they all wear make up when not alot of kids even use make up that much. like in hannah montana.. their make up looks so professional.. yeah like any kid that age could do that everyday. and in that and other shows they always have alot of different cool outfits and stuff when thats not really how it is in real life.. well for some people but not alot of people. why are tv shows like this? i watch some of them anyways but if something different came out i'd like it. oh and the show on MTV called Made, why is it only highschoolers. i'd like to see an episode with someone from middle school or something.. and more shows about middle schoolers than high school high school high school. blechhh.
i guess these are 2 seperate questions... whatever. thanks for answering! =]] (link)
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Well, you might not believe this, but we adults, think that all kids are beautiful. WE see your young fresh faces, unwrinkled skin, bright smile, and we are envious. And we wish that we liked ourselves more when or appreciate ourselves more when we were young. We think you guys are just lucky to be young, and should be happy with that. And another thing.....we all wish we could go back to being young again. So my advice is to enjoy being young while you can. You see what we look like as we get older, you see the all the work and the responsibilities we have. So just enjoy being young. Because you will get old just like we did, and you'll look back on when you were young, and wonder why you didn't think you measured up. When you are much older, you'll understand why adults don't recommend make-overs for kids. I mean experimenting with make-up and hair styles is OK and it's fun, but make over's that require surgery can be dangerous. The surgery I mean, so most medical professionals won't perform non necessary surgery on children. It may even be against the laws in your state.
Michele
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HELP!!!! i think im becoming anorexic cauz im about 5ft 5" and only 130lbs and when i look in the mirror i instantly think im fat, and people tell me im not! but i havnt gone completely anorexic cauz i still eat one or two meals a day, so my parents wont suspect ne thing, but ive lost 10lbs in... well a little over a month, and i still think im fat! what should i do?! (link)
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There is nothing wrong with being thin, and it certainly is important to eat healthy. Anorexia can shorten your life. It stresses out your body and you will age faster and could die young.
Look at pictures of real fat people, go to the mall, it's full of fat people, and tell yourself that you don't look like that. Do you have an old pair of pants that fit you when you were heavier, put them on once in a while, see how big they are. (That worked for me after I lost 38 lbs, and still thought I was fat) What dress size do you wear? If it is an 8 or smaller, you are not considered fat by dress designers, that's for sure. Know what foods are healthy and which are fattening, so you can eat without guilt. Fruits and vegetables are best, without cheese and creamy dressings or whipped cream. Whole grain breads and lean meats like chicken and turkey. No fried foods. Get exercise, it's OK to be skinny, but it is better to have muscles. That's sexy.
Michele
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what are some modern bands that are like similar to 60's/70's hippie music?
thanksss =] (link)
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Here I can help. Go to the website called
www.pandora.com
It is a music genome project, and it is free.
In the field provided, type in the name of a hippie band from the 60's or 70's. The website will play a song from THAT band, and also bring up a play list and play music from other bands that SOUND similar, or play the SAME kind of music. You can choose the ones you like.
The list, and the possibilties are endless.
Michele
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I was wondering If anyone knew any value stores that old stuff suck as hollister,aeropostale,A&F,American Eagle,Forever 21,etc. At bargin prices. Something like Plaots Closet or maybe even a thrift store.
I dont know i think paying 45 dollars for a tank top is too pricy.
Thankss (: (link)
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Isn't there a Goodwill industries in your state. I buy all my clothes used here in CT, Goodwill stores are all over the place. Salvation Army also has thrift stores here. Consignment shops also have great prices, and YES I have seen designer clothes in all of them. even clothes that young girls like yourself, would like.
Michele
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Do you think it is safe if me and my friend both go to NYC together? We're 15 and we live in NJ but it's kinda close & we can get there by bus.
We've gone to NYC like a lot of times but never by ourselves.. & We know how to get around, but it's like.. do you think we will get kidnapped or something? I haven't really heard of that happening & with so many people why would they take us..? But idk, what's your opinion? (link)
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I hope you have your parents permission to go. YOu don't want to end up missing, and then they have no idea that you are even in NYC. Most important too. You need a lot of money, because everything in NYC is soooo expensive. You wouldn't want to take the subway, so you'll need money for a cab if where you want to go is very far. Why not take a bus trip to the Bronx Zoo instead. It's just one place. There's plenty to do and see, and when your done, you take the bus home. If you do go to NYC stick to the more expensive neighborhoods, around central park.
Either way, have a great time
Michele
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ok well i babysit my naybors who live next door and they have a pool. and the first week that i started babysitting for them i had my period and i just told them that i left my bathing suite at my friends house. then when i finally brought my bathing suite they we werent evan able to go in the pool cos it was really cold. well i have my period right now, and im really afriad to use a tampon. like idn im very squimish and stuff and i dont even wanna swim the first time i wear a tampon cos i dont know how comfortable ill be. so i was just wondering if i wore a pad under and shorts, would anything happen? like i know ill have a lot of discomfort but the kids really want me to swim and i feel bad you know (link)
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Couldn't you speak to the mother of the couple that you babysit for and tell her. I mean, she probably doesn't go in the pool either, when she has her period. (She may not like tampons) She can just tell the kids to stop bothering you about going IN the water. She'll understand, and they'll whine a little, but they'll get over it.
Michele
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what does it mean when a girl says she's "spotting"? and how does that connect to thinking you're pregnant? (link)
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There is another reason for spotting. When a girl goes on birth control pills, there are a number of different doses or strenghts. Doctors do not always know which is the best dose for each woman. One of the ways to know is if you are on birth control pills, and you have break thru spotting during the month, but it is NOT time for your period, that means that THAT dose of birth control is not strong enough for that woman. The doctor would need to put her on a stronger dose, or it won't work.
Michele
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