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A Group That Split Into Two
16/f (we are all 15 or 16, all female)
Question:
What should I think about all of this?
Is it wrong to not want to forgive them?
Situation:
For months I was excluded from everything by my best friends. They refused to include me yet were nice to my face so I stuck with the group and went through a lot of hurt. I found out others in the group were being excluded too.
So I stood up to the girl who was purposely trying to exclude me, and we got in a huge fight but somehow it was resolved. But not really. Then they started to do it again and an even bigger fight broke out and I left them.
They got people (at least 5 at a time) to try to beat me up. I was harassed by the other people and it was an unfair situation. They harassed me over a computer but had other people do it in person. I tried to resolve the situation (so that I was not in physical danger) and block their computer attempts. The situation seemed hopeless and dangerous for me.
I lived through it all, and somehow, they didn`t make me look bad for very long. Now they mimicked one of our videos (me and my three new best friends, one from the old group) on facebook (which wasn`t about them, it`s about our inside jokes and has nothing to do with them) and made us look like whores in their attempt to copy our video and "ruin" us. They tried to copy our makeup and clothes and told everyone to say who was better, us or them. We ignored them (this happened less than a week ago) and kept ourselves looking good and happy.
Finally, one of the girls (the main one who was excluding me before) broke and told my best friend (from the old group) that she feels like a bitch and wants to be friends with us again.
Please refer to the above question, any insight or advice is greatly appreciated! This has been a nightmare and sometimes I feel lucky to have made it through without being attacked physically. Although that did happen once but I walked away.
Two of the girls leave for a month next friday, and I am not going to forgive them (ever) or before then just so they can feel good about themselves when they leave. In no way do I want to join back into one group of friends, even if my new best friends do, I will stand alone and have no friends. Is this wrong?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
it's totally not wrong at all to never want to forgive htem, if they're going that far as to have people phsically attack you, they're not worth any of your time, my best advice to you is that you not get mixed in with that group of people again. they'll only leave you hurt again. girls are vicious, they'll do anything to get what they want, you should find real friends who care about you. friends who wouldn't even think of doing that to you ever.
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NO it is not wrong at all. YOu see clearly the injustice in the their behavior towards you. NOt all kids can see injustice when they are faced with it. You didn't do anything wrong and you asked to be left alone. You stood up for yourself, and while it sort of backfired, with the old group. They never forgot it. You worked at making some new friends, and that pissed them off. People who behave that way towards an individual, trying to harm them, trying to give them a bad repuations, get really pissed when their plan doesn't work. You did the right thing. You are building character and strength and self confidence. These skills will help you in your adult life, where you will still run into people like these girls, but not as often. And you'll have the freedome to leave. Real life is not like high school. You do meet mature people, and you are not stuck with seeing the same immature people every day. Your strong feelings about injustice may make you a great lawyer some day.
Good luck to you. PS I wouldn't trust that girl at all if I were you. And she needs to learn a lesson, that it is not OK to treat people that way, she burned her bridges with you. It wouldn't have killed her to be nice.
Michele
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