I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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So I have this weird obsession with the number 5. It started out as just a maths thing really like 5-10-15-20 type thing, then I started to notice the number 5 in songs. I would count the syllables until they get to 5 and if they did I feel this rush of relief. If it didn't I would find a way to make the syllables make up 5. Now it's gotten worse to the point when I hear people talking e.g in person or on tv I feel I need to put their words into 5 syllables. Even myself sometimes I won't say anything because I want to make sure it all fits into 5 syllables. I don't know if I'm making any sense and if I'm not please tell me. It's very hard to explain. I just wanted to know if this was some sort of OCD? I'm 18 and v v v confused! (link)
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I am not a psychiatrist but do have a lot of experience around/with those who have mental-health issues and know from personal experience what looks like a problem to investigate with a doctor and what isn't a sign of say bipolar for instance.
With OCD symptoms can be hearing voices directing you to do something in ritualistic fashion, delusional thought, paranoia, thinking everyone is against you and having irrational thoughts, ideas and a total inability to think and reason with anyone. It can be partnered with other mental illnesses that are an undercurrent too.
I don't know why but a lot of people with bipolar and other mental illnesses similar to it seem to think TV or radio is talking directly to them or instructing them. When you mentioned the TV this set off a bit of red flag that you are taking something they said on TV and rearranging it somehow in your head to reflect something else.
The fascination with the number 5 may be something new and harmless especially if you are not exhibiting any sign otherwise of mental illness that people who know you intimately can distinguish as not right with you. Then again signs can be missed.
I think you are really concerned with this and don't feel it's right and inline with your normal behavior. That's what your gut is saying. I would make an appointment with your doctor and discuss any voices, directives, obsessions etc that have just occurred and won't go away or if ding any rituals and ask if it could be OCD and rule it out for piece of mind.
Nothing bad could happen from this. You won't be thrown into a hospital unless totally delusional or unable to function otherwise. If that ever happened it would be to get a proper diagnosis and what amounts to rest with ability to see family over 72 hours. Not likely to occur but your doctor if he feels you may have a mental health issue will refer you to a psychiatrist able to treat it. It doesn't hurt to look into this if it's concerning you.
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This is more of a rant than a question, basically I've had the worst summer ever I didn't do anything at all except stay home and do the same things every single damn day. I ended up getting cabin fever because even when I did go out it was always with family and we would always go to the same place (the freaking mall that's by my house, which we go to whether it's summer time or not) ever since high school ended I've learned who my real friends really were, none of the friends that I talked to throughout high school ever tried to reach out to me this summer, it was always me texting them first to the point where if I don't text them I won't hear from them at all. One friend calls me constantly every single day to talk about her freaking boy problems like I give a rats ass about it anymore (I don't care cause she never cares about how I'm feeling it's always about her). Another friend of mine purposely ignores my texts and pretends like she's never received them but then acts buddy buddy when she sees me in person, another friend only texts me this whole summer when she needed something. So summer is done in a week and a half from now and I can't believe I'm saying that I can't wait for school to begin, cause at least I'll be out of the house and I'll actually have people to socialize with, sorry for this extremely long rant thank you if you have read all of this please feel free to give feedback btw I'm a 17 year old female going to university (don't say why don't you get a job because this whole summer I went job hunting did interviews and still didnt get freaking hired) (link)
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EDIT: Try talking to an adult that you trust and your parents would listen to about you almost being 18 and needing your own time and life outside the house. If someone can advocate for that then they will see perhaps how they're not helping you by keeping you inside and refusing you to be on your own which you are capable of handling unless there's some reason such as street smarts, maturity or whatever that is legit for them not to want you to have your own social life and independence.
ORIGINAL
I have to tell you the first thing I noticed was that you're so negative and have an attitude about things that sucks more than your summer does in your mind.
I'm no being mean here but rather pointing out that the outlook you have decided to take is blinding you to good opportunities that were there for you and still are that you didn't take this summer that cost little.
You don't need much money or at all to enjoy yourself much less be locked up with cabin fever all summer nor do you always have to go somewhere to have a good time. You are entering university and becoming an adult.
They don't have the time off kids do either but I get this sense that you feel as though you're owed something spectacular right now that in your view you didn't get be it because of others, money, parents or yourself.
As far as a job goes while you may have tried the mall and conventional places to no avail you could have made money teaching kids to swim, tutoring kids and teens in math, science or other subject you might be good in, mowing lawns and babysitting for example.
You could have joined many different courses offered for very little money that your city or town offers teens and adults over the summer and all times a year for that matter. You can usually find acting such as improv classes,cooking, art, tennis, basketball, self-defense, swim lessons and what have you. You could have enrolled and meet new friends.
Speaking of swimming you can usually go to an indoor city or town pool daily in fact for rec or lane swims for a few dollars here and there per swim or buy a pass good for a month or several in fact for something to do. I'm sure if you wanted a pass for all summer or a few months even now that your parents would help there.
Going to the movies is something you could have done weekly or as often as possible for something to do. The best way is if you find a place with current movies that has a discount Tuesday eg. all films $5 (it goes that low) or around there or has student pricing. Again, if you put $100 of your own money or saved it or asked parents for a loan you could get 10 movies out of that rather easily.
If there was/is an amusement park accessible in your city by public transit you could have bought a monthly or weekly pass and head to it if you put out $100 or had parents help for a season pass and go as many times per summer as you wanted.
Back at home there could also be a local theater perhaps with concerts and other productions that don't have to cost a lot to see. You could explore something new there. You may have joined a community theater group either acting or doing behind the scenes stuff and still can. See if there is a small community radio station too as they need help regardless of being on air and same for a Cable 10 station with volunteers your age. There's a ton of stuff you can see and do and discover and investigate more about on your own.
Let's address parents for a moment. They aren't responsible for making your summer awesome or making it suck. That's on you and same deal for friends you can't connect with. You have to go about doing your own thing at 17-years-old as an adult would to entertain or enlighten yourself. You can always turn down parents if you want to be elsewhere.
Also, if you had a transit pass and a bit of money you could go out checking historical sites such as forts, Niagara Falls as an example or new places you have never been by yourself on your own for something to do.
When it comes to jobs the key is you may need to take the job nobody wants. For example being a student painter, working fast-food, or cleaning houses even with a partner. All of theses jobs constantly hire young people for summer and then lose them in the fall. If you can work some nights and weekends now you can build up your cash supply.
The best place that isn't awful is movie theaters. Walk in to any one of them and chat with a manager. Often you can get hired on the spot there as they will desperately need people come September.
Also, people hiring you can sense anger you may have about anything, fear, desperation for a gig so be sure you go in with a sunny attitude and perky because a lot of these places depend on guest interaction and they want to see that people have no trouble relating to you.
I think when it comes to summer, Christmas or anything you want to do for that matter is find a way to earn money and use it to accomplish goals or do all the things you want to do in the future away from family. This way you will get to do what you couldn't do this summer next time.
The next few weeks and months will be an exciting adventure for you at university where you will meet a host of new people and really discover who you are and where you are going. That will be invaluable and make up for any disappointment you may feel now.
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So since I'm not living on residence for university I decided on going to my schools orientation week. I had to pay 140 dollars for it because of all the activities going on for it, for example going to the amusement park, touring downtown and going to the beach. Some of the activities that interested me the most take place during 8pm and my mom is saying I can't stay on campus past 5pm cause it's not safe to be there because of the rape reputation the school has. The thing that is pissing me off the most is that I didn't even want to go to that school in the first place but my mom kept insisting I go to that school instead of another school I wanted to go to. So now I'm going to the school she wants and she's telling me I can't stay past 5 because of certain types of people that will be there?? She knew what type of school it was so why am I even going there?? I wouldn't be complaining if all the good activities were in the daytime but they aren't and I don't wanna waste ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY DOLLARS (that I had to pay for myself, she didn't pay for it) just to go to one event and stay home for the rest, don't get me wrong I'm not going to all the events like the orientation parties that end around midnight or the boat cruise (which I really wanna go to but my mom said no) what can I do to make her understand? She called her friend who goes to my uni for her doctorate degree and she basically told my mom whatever she does don't let me go because there's certain rape situations that always happens smh. How else am I going to make friends when I go to a commuter school? Why would I talk in class when I'm paying to be there? I checked all the clubs out for my school none of them look interesting enough, anyways I'm a 17 year old female btw and thank you if you have answered my question (link)
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Do you have a friend or roommate that can be trusted that also goes there? I was thinking that if you had an older friend or someone mom can trust go and be a spotter for you and keep track of your well-being that mom could relax. Give her the cell # of this person to check in.
The other thing you could do is get a relative or someone older you trust and she trusts the opinion of. Explain your situation to this person, the costs and what you paid and where and when you are going to certain events and what they are. Have them explain how important this is to you.
Another adult needs to illustrate to her that although sexual assaults have happened there that it's not a huge number and that you are aware of your surroundings, situations but it's bloody unrealistic that come 5p.m. you have to home and be locked in because of some idiots lurking looking to harm others. Get self-defense lessons if this is a real irrational fear of hers that you could be harmed. Also, there must be campus and other security.
I would not walk alone in those areas after dark but rather in pairs and do all you can to be secure but other than that mom needs you to go around like a normal person would on campus 17 or not and experience all the things from Frosh that everyone else is doing and meet friends from your college and even your own dorm. It's more than just having fun but rather networking and finding people who can help you later on.
I see why mom is concerned but it is irrational fear and wanting to control a situation to protect you from something that isn't as real or big as she's making a situation to be. Someone needs to prove this to her but you can't convince anyone of anything but you can make a point and have others back you up.
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How can I ask my angry boyfriend to unblock me? Whenever he is upset or angry because of me what he blocks me. I know by this time I should get use to it but it hurts. 🙁 (link)
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This is actually pretty normal with couples on the way out, uncertain about their relationship or in a significant fight. It's done by some to send a message that "you're out of my life.", "I don't need you around" etc.
Is it childish? Yes, but people who want to send that type of message to and ex and their collective friends may do it that way. It is designed to hurt no two ways.
He keeps doing it and then reversing like a game because he has no idea what he wants or if he wants to be with you. All of this needs to be resolved with communication and asking him and your own-self where you really want to be.
You should tell him that no matter how angry either of you may get at one another that rather than block you on social media actually talk in person about what is going on. If it cannot be resolved perhaps it's time to go separate ways. You do need to stand up for yourself and let him know that you don't do immature, hurtful and immature garbage when he angers you. Ask him why this is the first thing he does rather than being decent and actually trying to resolve a situation before looking to throw towel in every time. Good luck!
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I am a 27 year old female And when I was 12 my pediatrician diagnosed me with ADHD and I have been taking Adderal ever since. As I have gotten older I noticed that I started having problems with social anxiety. When I was little I have never really enjoyed playing with the other children. I would forget my materials that I needed for school every day on purpose so I would get detention and be made to read instead but what they didn't know was that I enjoyed it. I hated going outside with all the noise and drama. I despised pep rallies so mom would check me out that. I hated fire drills and smoke alarms and trains. I went to my psychologist and they said that I was misdiagnosed and I don't have ADHD I haves Sensory processing disorder I looked it up online and everything pulled up Autism does this mean I am Autistic or can I have just the sensory processing disorder alone.
I am so confused with this new diagnosis (link)
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There is no set test to diagnose autism. For that reason it can go unnoticed especially if the doctor making a diagnosis hasn't any real specialty or experience in that area.
If a doctor told you that you do not and have never had ADHD or Sensory Processing Disorder I would trust what they are saying ad forget all you have been told before. Ask the new doctor for a criteria or way he/she came to the conclusion to help you understand the diagnosis thoroughly and what it means going forward.
Almost all of the symptoms you mention above are part of the autism spectrum. It's quite possible 25 years ago you met with a doctor who meant well and didn't know what we do now about autism and gave you a diagnosis until now you have had to hold onto as fact.
One thing you could do is visit a different family doctor and a different psychologist and tell them your history and how a doctor put that diagnosis you lived with for 25 years on its ear and old you that it's Autism instead. You want clarity and to be 100% certain and that's the only way I know of to be sure. We aren't doctors and aim not to mislead you.
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I cry all the time, and it's really embarrassing when I'm around other people. For example, if I get even a slightly bad grade on a test (like 85%), then I'll barely be able to hold back tears. The same thing happens when someone makes any sort of negative comment toward me. Is there something I can do about this? I don't think I'm really 'insecure' or anything, I'm just really emotional and I don't know why. Any advice..? (link)
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Seek out a therapist to talk to about being overly sensitive and emotional without legitimate reason and or over insignificant things. It's definitely a lack of faith in yourself and inability to let negativity not bother you. Consider the source of the comments before letting it trouble you for a second.
Also, 85% out of 100 is a mark most students would kill for as it's quite high. When it comes to grades don't be a perfectionist or place undue pressure on yourself. Do your best and be confident that you did all you can. Do not scoff at marks but use the comments given by teachers to turn around and kick butt next time.
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My 11 y/o daughter used to eat many different types of foods, vegetables, fruit, meat, etc... even if she didn't care for a particular vegetable, she'd still manage to eat it anyways.
Since about three weeks ago, she's only wanted to eat one thing for breakfast, lunch, and dinner: Two scrambled eggs and one maple sausage. Sometimes she'll have orange juice/ a breakfast essential drink to go with it.
I've tried arguing, offering special meals, but she only wants to stick with eggs and sausage. I'm worried she might eventually lack the nutrients she needs.
Is this just a phase? (link)
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Try talking to her about it. If not satisfied with what she tells you then take her to the doctor and discuss with them what is up. My suspicion is that she may have classmates who told her if you get X,Y,Z meal all the time you'll lose weight or not be fat and or she got this message somewhere.
She may have eating related problems you don't know about and or developing.Are you sure she has been eating and keeping down all that you have fed her in the 3 weeks prior? This sounds odd for only beginning 3 weeks ago.
You need to emphasize that she can eat whatever she wants but limiting her diet to one thing only will screw up her diet and growth.
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I really like, would almost say love my boyfriend. He's been really amazing to me and he's almost everything I want. Our relationship is healthy and we both have good futures ahead of us so we make a good power couple.
My problems is my boyfriend wants to take our relationship to the next level, but I don't.
I'm a full-time student, full-time worker, and a natural busy-bee who just moved to a new college, where I want to join a sorority, get involved in faith ministries, make new friends, join various clubs, and I want to take at least 5 classes so I can graduate early. With all this going on I just don't feel like we're at the same places in life. I want to live on campus and spend a lot of time there where as he really wants me to move in with him and spend a lot more time with him. These two things can't mix because he lives 40 minutes away from my college.
I've also previously had a SO live with me before and I'm just not ready for that again. I don't want to have to plan out my entire life around somebody else at my age. I also don't want to be held to the kind of expectations men get when they live with their girlfriend. I feel like men have this imaginary dreamland in their head of what it's going to be like where they think their girlfriend is going to be super happy all the time, do all the cooking and cleaning, where they're going to get sex all the time, where periods cease to exist, where everything is just super amazing when it's not like that.
I enjoy spending time with him, but seeing him a couple days a week is fine to me, when he wants so much more.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him, but sometimes I really feel like my interests are in places other than being in a relationship with somebody who wants to take precedent in my life over everything else when so many other things are just as important to me. I just want to take the relationship slow and see what it eventually develops into, but he wants to speed things up with me into something more serious when we've only been dating a couple months.
(link)
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The only way is honesty. Tell him that the relationship is fairly new and that you can't move in with him because the last time you did this you rushed into it and it was disaster.
You need to be cautious and live close to school and the 40 min distance is concern when it comes to studies. Also, when it comes to "dreamland" give him the benefit of the doubt for he may not be thinking that.
I will level with you it sounds as though this person would make a better friend than lover. He cares for you in a way that you aren't feeling for him and you don't feel you are on the same path. That's okay but it needs to be said now or one or both of you gets hurt. If you feel this way it will harm the relationship as you'll never be able to get past it.
Let him know that things have been going too fast for you and need to slow down and agree to seeing each other in the intraval you mentioned earlier or tell him you would be better friends than together. It might upset him and you never can tell but being honest when a relationship can't work or won't is better than dragging it out. You really have little in common from what you have said and resent the situation as it doesn't jive with your lifestyle. And that is okay but you need t be honest and upfront with him and have this dialogue.
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Last year, I joined the biggest school organization (for magazines, tabloids, portfolios) as a member of the Literary Department. I love writing poems and I am interested. This year, they promoted me to be the Literary Editor, a role that I could never take. I am not that skilled in writing compared to other members and I compare our works sometimes and I feel very inferior. I do know that there are no other members who could be chosen as the Lit Ed because they're not responsible enough to handle the tasks or they quit the club. I was a student of the honors class so they chose me. I pleaded to the moderator to choose another one because I can't handle the role. That is why the moderator chose the one up for it, the one who quit at first. I was so relieved but then he assigned me as the Assoc Lit Ed and so I have to join Editor Meetings with the EIC, Managing Ed, News Ed, etc. They all serve their own purposes well and they all give amazing ideas. I had my own ideas in mind but I myself knew that they were mediocre. Don't try to console me. I know myself and I didn't feel like giving out ideas. I couldn't contribute except write poems as a member of the Lit. I had to join Ed Meetings and the EIC and Creative Ed always give me looks that made me doubt myself and sometimes, I thought about transferring to schools. Two of my classmates were also Eds. One was promoted to being an editor even with just one year of experience, like me. The Creative Ed was not very nice to me. One time, we were desperate for ideas and she asked us all to give our contributions. She turned to me for the first time and I shook my head with a nervous laugh, as a sign that I didn't have any. She gave me a look of disappointment. I knew that she despised me because I was acting like a "freerider." Then again, I am not good in giving ideas. In fact, I'm the type who can't give any. Every time my friends and I pass by the EIC and Creative Ed (as well as their friends), they would only greet my two friends, which I find rude and obvious. I didn't want this type of life in high school. I am always quiet during Ed meetings but at least, I attend to them to be informed and aware. The Creative Ed probably hated me for the mistake I've done last time (which was not really a significant one and I was doing things right and things just turned like that). She told the Eds about my mistake indirectly. I'm not being too sensitive here. It's obvious. I want to change clubs but it's not allowed and it's the official club I am graded on. The school system is strict and I know that I can't do anything about it but wait until the seniors graduate. Only then can I join a new club.
Please help me by giving real and useful advice. Not to mention that just thinking about this makes me cry and hate myself. I'm useless and I myself know I can't do anything. What should I do? This is the reason as to why I'm stressed and depressed. (link)
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If you believe you can't do something you never will achieve anything. It's a fact. What you are doing is akin to sitting in a car with the key in the ignition fuming that it won't go and aren't turning the key.
You have all you need to succeed here no different from your peers but don't believe you do. The teacher who picked you for the role knows something you do not.
You are capable of performing well in this role and doing even more than anyone thought and they want to push you and convince you that you can if you just forget the "I can't" and contribute and try your hardest.
Your ideas are as important as anyone else's and valuable but you are afraid to share what you think. Do it. If someone doesn't like it maybe they wish they had thought of it and or that's just on them. Your problem is confidence, anxiety that has paralyzed you from reaching your potential and taking the risks your teachers know you can handle.
It would be in your best interest to see a therapist or counselor about these feelings and anxiety always holding you back and fears of falling on your behind and not attempting stuff as a result or inferiority to others. You have to do deal with this as it will continue to plague you even outside of this situation. You need the empowerment. I would also ask the teacher why he/she chose you over others and your feelings because you may find out from that what they see about you and in you.
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my guy friend always picks on me, so I asked why he does this, he says im easy to pick on, smiling.....is that a bad thing? (link)
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A real friend doesn't treat you like shit for their own amusement or at all period. That's not friendship. The second part of this is that he thinks you are an easy target.
Short of asking him you need to figure out why anyone might pick on you let alone a so-called friend. It could be something inadvertent you did or a perceived slight or even a reaction to something in the past if he bothered you.
That may be it he's searching for a big reaction to what he says and does and may have got it before. That's what bullies thrive on. Don't give it.
It likely isn't your fault. He may just be a jerk and would target anyone he thought was easy or give the reaction he seeks. When they don't get it they move on. Often a bully comes from broken home (not necessarily), wants to be noticed and picks someone with lack of confidence who actually has the qualities or something else they wish they had.
My advice is to drop him as a friend and go about your business as though he didn't exist. When he sees he can't bother you he will likely fade out of your life fast. You could also stand up for yourself and find a way to put him in his place over something he's not comfortable with about himself and point out it doesn't feel good when he does it to others. I doubt he would get it if he thinks tormenting you is a science and rewarding.
Tell a teacher if you feel threatened or if he harasses you non-stop. Otherwise I would drop him, ignore him and move about your business as he's a friend and someone you don't need. Also check out bullying.org for great tips and stories from kids that may help you. It's a great resource.
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I dont understand if ive done anything wrong to my friends, so im gonna name my friends Sara,Jade and Anna. Right from day one whenever i texted Sara she would always try so hard to end the convo everytime it would start she would be like "anyways i gtg bye" so ive gotten used to her cause i feel like she doesnt really wanna talk to me, but now that high school is over and we are going to different schools we have to try and make an effort on keeping the friendship but Sara i know purposely ignores my messages on whatsapp because whatsapp tells you when the last time someone was on, everytime i message Sara on there id have to spam her for her to reply to my message. She watches my snapchat stories but to this day i messaged her last thursday on whatsapp she hasnt opened it but whatsapp said the last time she was on was sunday smh. Now jade is my good friend except now im always the one to text her first and now its the point where she will open my text read it and forget to reply, lastly i have Anna the only friend that really hits me up but i am guilty of ignoring her because if you have read my previous questions she only talks fo me about one topic and its her boyfriend, whenever i text her she feels the need to call me and talk about him whenever i try to change the subject she will relate to him or something about herself so i dont even bother with her. Why are my friends acting like this? (link)
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I doubt you have done anything wrong to anyone else or anything that could be perceived as such. Text messages cost money to send and receive on most all providers. Perhaps she reads what you wrote and gives that kind of reply or doesn't based on that or assumes you will talk soon and one isn't needed.
The other thing is if you do it constantly with her and you write too much at a time. It would put a person off and of replying. Also spamming anyone to get their attention not only is wrong of you but will piss the recipient off rather quickly. That's the only thing it may be but odds are you're fussing about something that isn't going on.
Ask her why she doesn't respond to texts or these phone app messages if you are concerned. Perhaps she reads your online stories but either hasn't any comments or figures she'll talk to you in person. It's not unusual to get a message and not respond until you have time. She may be a very busy person with stuff to do online and or a lot of activities where replying back to people isn't first thing on mind. Talk to her about it and your friendship to erase this concern.
As far as the second friend who never texts first consider the fact she may have been told not to as it eats into data or costs her to do it so you will seldom hear or perhaps she's not a texter or uses it rarely and again may think she'll talk to you later on. Instead of texting her see if she ever texts you first. It just may not be her thing or primary way of reaching out. I wouldn't worry there. Ask her if she doesn't like texting or about her cell phone.
I think you're doing to Anna what you think and don't want happening to you. This is the one friend who seems to really give a real effort to be a friend but is being ignored because of what she likes to talk about. The relationship may be new therefore he constant chatter. You could point out that while her boyfriend is important that you want to talk about other subjects too. I have a hunch you feel left out. That's okay but you need to tell her that. I wouldn't abandon her if she has consistently been decent to you.
I think your problem here is your perception of them foremost and constant expectations and the fact they aren't acting exactly how you want all the time. You also have to look at yourself too and see what you may be doing that could push people away.
Maybe they see your texts, messages, constantly in a negative light. If you sense problems with your friendships talk to them but level with yourself here that if you are having issues with 3 or all friends that are like this that maybe you have to isolate and change what you have done with them when dealing with others. Do what you can whether people think you are or not to exhibit behavior that doesn't look clingy or shutting others out.
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I share a phone plan with my companion and he did a factory reset on his sam 6 because of problems he was having with his sam 6. When he reset my phone got reset also. I wasn't even with him! I lost my pics, contacts, - everything. Can I get it back? (link)
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This really makes no sense. If he never touched your phone at all and only reset his than your phone should be exactly the way you had it with contacts, e-mail and photos exactly how you had it set up.
Despite being on the same cell phone plan your phones are two separate units controlled by the individual users of both. He would have had to grab your phone and physically reset it for your contacts, e-mails, photos and everything to go poof. If he did this without consent lay into him and password, numerical and finger print your ability to log in.
Is there a way to get things back? First, I would call the technical support number for your provider or visit their outlet in the mall and tell them that all of your photos, contacts, e-mails are gone and that you did nothing to the phone and want to see what they can do and if they are permanently gone. That's your best bet.
I have heard there is 3rd party (unsupported) software available that you can use to restore it but that may be a scam that could damage your phone further if you tried. I would ask the people who provided the phone and service about what happened.
Odds are your boyfriend grabbed his and pressed System Restore to wipe out everything for his phone without backing his data up. No doubt he grabbed yours and did the same thing. There's a tab that says back up data. If that was checked all files and photos etc. are on the device. Like I said he would have had to physically delete stuff on your phone for it to reset. It just doesn't happen that you can do this on one phone and it happens on the other. You have to do it alone per each.
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is it true swimming is good for working out and has health benefits (link)
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Yes, in short. It helps your heart rate, stress, physical tension, muscles as Google points out in addition doing a ton of laps back and forth in a pool is said to improve what your body can actually endure outside the pool.
If you put "Benefits of Swimming" into a Google Search oodles of info on benefits will come up for you as will countless reasons and articles on this geared at either sex will come up backing up what I just mentioned and expanding on other areas. It's definitely good for working out and cardio. That I can tell you.
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I'm 18 years old and my friend suggested that I move in with her while I finish school. I wanted to because my family constantly yells at me and brings up mistakes in the past that I've made for something even as simple as not being allowed to date. I have calmly approached my mother, and several other members of my family about this (my siblings are all 25+ and haven't dated or left home, besides one who moved out years ago.) and they, especially my mother, just blow up and yell at me without listening. I've known this friend for over eight years and trust her and her family. My mother said one reason I'm 'not allowed' to go is that she can't keep track of what I'm doing and when I said I could tell her every day, she just got mad and said from now on she wouldn't talk to me. I don't have a lisence or a car, and can't have a job yet due to school, but my mom always tells me how lazy I am and that she doesn't want me to move because I only think of good things and will do things I'm not supposed to. My friend said that three days before school, I should pack my things, at least what's most important to me, and have them pick me up to go to their house, without my family's knowledge. My mother refuses to listen to me and everyone else sides with her. Should I do it? I'm really scared because I've never done anything without her permission but I'm sick of being guilt tripped or yelled at every time I bring this up? Also, what if my family never forgives me, or (I'm sure my dad would do this) goes to my friend's house and yells at them, for which my friend said they could call the police, which I don't want. If anyone could give me advice on this, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thank you! (link)
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The problem is NOT with moving out but rather with the why you want to move out. Yes, Advice Man below is right. At 18-years-old you can move out on your own and live life the way you want to and with whom you want but the question is should you?
Your parents may yell at you and siblings too but is there a reason for anger back and forth that you have left out here? I think there must be. No matter where you move, when or how the bad relationship with family will continue to haunt you in some way if not addressed now. Perhaps you should get counseling on your own or jointly to try and repair the rupture and trust issues at the core of this issue.
Just because your siblings are 25-years-old and moved out at X,Y, Z age doesn't mean at 18 that you should because you legally can. They may have been more mature at that age, had a job, license, money or a way around and perhaps education of some sort and a job. Let's be fair you don't have any of those things yet.
Your mom is trying to give you a reality check that lacking a job, money, an education and transportation cannot and doesn't get you very far in the world alone if at all. She doesn't want to see something bad befall you or for you to be in a situation neither or you can fathom. Maybe you have given her reason in the pass to fear this or you doing things you shouldn't do that lead to trouble. That I don't know. Maybe she is concerned about drugs and sex not so much with you but people you would be with. Again with the hypothetical.
You say she doesn't listen to you but have you shut her voice out completely so as only to hear your side and same with siblings? I think they care for you more than you know and accept.
If you were under 18 and had anyone pick you up and take you anywhere and not divulge to your family or police where you went you would be in a lot of trouble and so would they legally even if they were well intended.
Here's what you should do. As an experiment have your friend's family approach your parent's and point out that they know you are 18-years-old now and legally able to leave. Have them mention they know about all the tension and anger built up and thought that if you lived with their daughter and them for a little while that maybe you would see if being on your own was what you wanted and needed.
Have it on the condition that you report daily by phone which isn't much of a request and that they know your whereabouts but won't intrude unless in physical or medical trouble and that can be communicated to her and others. You could then try and make a go of life not under their rule.
It should also hinge on finding good grades, finishing school and on weekends finding a job some place and only use them for bare necessities. See if you can cope. That's the best thing. Regardless, you need your mom and siblings in your life.
Find a way to resolve all the issues even if professional help is the way. There's an elephant in the room that you haven't told us about when it comes to what is going on exactly in the family right now to make you want out and done with people completely.
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I've been doing digital art and animation for about 3-4 years, with a Ugee pen tablet and a Windows 7 laptop. My computer is getting old and slow though, so I want to get a new one. What laptops would you recommend for a kind of beginner artist? I can't get anything too fancy, probably $800 maximum. Thanks! (link)
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Your current laptop is getting old and slower but can you hang on a bit longer or is this thing near death? The reason I ask is that you could take that $800 and add to it if you have pay or funds coming this month and next.
Apple I Mac laptops start at $1299 U.S. You don't need anything too fancy but they are designed for creative people, artists and designers and with college graphic design, advertising, and journalism the labs for students were all Apple products.
I would recommend walking into an Apple Store perhaps with an example of what you do and what you need to have the laptop do and tell them what you can and cannot spend and see what they show you as an option. They are not on a commission at these stores and boast that. It couldn't hurt.
You could also get your parents, grandparent or other adults to invest some money and add it to what you have as let's face it you're headed to college likely for this soon and having the best you can get now to keep your work up to high quality is paramount. It shouldn't be about cost or how much something is but about getting the best and waiting perhaps and saving if you can.
However, if your current laptop is on its deathbed and or was/is a POS to begin with and it will croak without warning or you feel that way speak up to those around you. Get them on your side and help with selecting something new and pooling resources. If family sees how much you genuinely need something and cannot use the other one anymore you may find yourself with a better machine sooner.
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So I had sex around June. I am not trying to get pregnant. We used a condom and it didn't break.
The next morning I woke up feeling sick, not throwing up, but feeling sick. It's been around 5 to weeks now and I decide to take a pregnancy test. So I took the test in the morning, afternoon, and in the night. The all came out negative. I took an early response pregnancy test.
I didn't know I was suppose to take it 5 days before my period. I have irregular periods so I didn't know hen my period was going to come but I took the early response pregnancy test. So can I be pregnant since I took an early pregnancy test without knowing when my period will come?
(link)
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They are right see below. The only thing I can add is that you can feel downright sick as a dog for any reason and it can fade quickly for any reason and not have any link at all to pregnancy or sex. Fear can affect periods and you in a lot of ways that may make you think you could be. By all accounts I would relax and know you're fine.
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I want to go to Disney in a few months for my birthday, and I live roughly 20 hours away from it (I would take a plane). Is it worth going alone? Probably not right? I've wanted to go to Disney for my birthday for as long as I can remember, and it's a pretty special birthday to me. If anyone knows what I should do (I've asked my friends already, and they don't know if they can). Disney can just be so expensive but I've been working my butt of for this because I want it very badly. I would appreciate it very much if someone can give me some advice on what to do. Thanks! (link)
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Never deny yourself the opportunity to experience anything EVER especially if friends aren't in to it. Believe me you will miss tons and regret it. If you have always had a goal of going to Disney and this is what you want fr your birthday than do it and enjoy it.
Believe me you can on your own and perhaps even more without the friend's not wanting to be there. This is your quest and it has meaning to you so go forth and do it. You will find there's tons to take in and enjoy even by yourself. If you want it badly make it happen for yourself. Be sure to research this thoroughly, vet all travel agents, compare pricing for airfare and packages and choose something that fits your budget and desires.
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So, I have this overly stressful, impossible to cure issue. No form of therapy will ever help, as I've tried. I'd appreciate if you don't bring up therapy, because (even though I will take it in, respectfully) I will not try therapy again.
My issue is an unhealthy obsession with improving myself - my appearance, my personality, my mental health, my physical health, etcetera.
In appearance, I am buying facial cleansers, toners, moisturizers, exfoliate brushes, conditioning lip treatments nonstop and it's the reason why I never have any cash on me. I'm always broke because I can not stop buying creams and cleansers and such for my skin.
I am working myself to death at the gym, going there every day. And I keep exercising to the point where I'm so close to a heart attack. But I desperately want my dream body.
In personality, I'm always asking all my friends what I can do to better my personality. I'm so afraid they'll end up leaving because of my constant asking. But I always feel I could be sweeter, could be more understanding, could be more calm, could be more caring, could be more giving, so I continue to improve my personality without ever stopping.
In mental health, I'm always making sure I'm eating the right foods to make me happy, exercising more, doing yoga and meditation and praying constantly, etcetera.
Improving myself is the ONLY thing I ever think about. I don't ever think about anything else.
It's really stressful and my hair's falling out because of this. I'm so fucking obsessed with improving myself and I don't know how to stop.
I feel like it stems from never once in my life feeling good enough. I always think everyone looks better than me and can do anything better than me. I don't know what to do, because I can't stop. It's an addiction, it's like the most powerful drug to ever be taken.
I feel happy, but deep down, I'm so depressed.
...help. (link)
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Therapists though they mean clients well and try to change lives with their ideas cannot help anyone manage a psychiatric illness and that's a fact. They do not have the training, skill-set or knowledge on how to heal those illnesses and give people their lives back.
The problem is that you have irrational thinking and views about yourself not being whole or perfect and rituals and undying obsessions ruling your life and if we're being honest ruining it and driving all you do. You may not see it but normal existence at least for now is completely overshadowed.
Advice Man below is correct that this does in fact sound like OCD and an illness that can only be tackled with a psychiatrist and proper medication and treatment. You need a referral to one to get assessed. It will turn your world around having had family with this. You also have to make sure all physicians you deal with know about constant depression because it's a huge undercurrent to OCD and other illness you may have. It cannot be overlooked and non-addressed either.
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Hi everyone!
I've had a new cat (n00b) for about 50 days now. She was pregnant before I rescued her, so I'm expecting kittens soon. (Just to put it out there, I'm planning to adopt them out after 8 weeks, and will have a no-kill shelter as a LAST resort)
My other cat (8 years old; call her 8) is extremely skittish, and not a fan of n00b. She's staked out her territory as the bedroom, and will not leave it. But n00b keeps crossing the line and they hiss and growl at each other (no real fighting). 8 keeps to herself mostly, which makes me sad - she used to be very cuddly. I try to give her attention, which she loves, but I don't spend a lot of time in the bedroom.
I've tried to integrate them - they kind of integrate themselves sometimes. Like last night, 8 slept with me (as usual), I woke up to hissing, calmed things down and went back to sleep, then woke up in the morning to n00b sleeping next to me on the bed and 8 on the floor on my other side.
I'm afraid 8 will get mean and more reclusive, especially when the kittens come, and I'm worried that n00b will have labor complications because of the stress of having 8 around.
And then - what if n00b goes into labor when I'm not home?? I live alone. What do you do in these situations?
Thank you for any advice you can offer!! (link)
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I think I answered a similar question recently from you perhaps about a territorial cat and two new cats being introduced. If it wasn't you I would search for it because it has advice that will mirror exactly what I am about to reiterate now.
Your older cat is pissed off not so much at the new addition but to you as well. You brought in a new cat and should have done so in a crate and gradually introducing them to each other and limited interaction until they built up a trust let alone tolerance.
The old cat desperately wants to hid from the new one so that is why she has staked out the bedroom as hers. She's annoyed at you for not spending as much time in the bedroom with her where she feels safe. The hissing is more or less their way of saying F-off to one another and that this is my turf.
You need a vet to help you figure out how to handle them and what to do when kittens arrive to keep the peace and how not to have said pregnant cat upset now or complications. The vet has seen and heard this a lot before. Aside from that spend equal time with the cat alone and together.
If concerned about not being home I would find a friend or a neighbor you could pay and depend on for staying at your place when you are out and one that has been instructed by your vet or someone in the know how to assist your cat and the kittens during birth as it is often needed having been there with dogs myself. That's about all you can do. Also, stop worrying with the what if scenarios or you'll drive yourself bonkers and deal with what is or what the vet says is your real concern. It will turn out well.
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Im 24 F and my best friend is 21 F. We've been friends for about two years and things were great. I also have a past of depression. Im also on Zoloft. So when I drink sometimes my emotions are out of control for the fact that im taking an antidepressant and then drinking is a depressant. Im so tired of trying to hold my friend up for the struggles shes going through nevermind trying to better myself. My best friend is beautiful and I would die to have her body and everything about her but she is so insecure. She literarily goes on a date with two different guys every week from tinder. And it bothers me, and she doesn't want to tell me her experience because I'm kind of a bitch about it because it makes me angry. Shes been single for about 2 months and I feel like shes trying to hard to get a boyfriend. It bothers me because I care so much about her and I don't think a guy is going to make her happy. Last night I was at her house and she had me and another girl over and some guy shes talking to. I was annoyed because im starting to feel like everytime we hang out she doesn't want to spend time with me she always has to have another person to hang out with us. Anyway, she had this guy come over and he was really attractive, and it made me feel bad about myself. Ive been single for a year and haven't dated anyone and watching her sit on this guys lap and be all over him made me feel sad. I was drinking and I was jealous. I was suppose to sleep at her house last night but I was tired, and that guy was still there. So I told her I was going to drive 40 mins to go home so she could spend time with this guy. She felt bad and knew I was upset, but its my own insecurities it makes me feel worse about myself, like wow is anyone ever going to like me? Probably not because im not as pretty, and im annoying, and im worthless are all the things I'm putting in my head right now. I cried my mom on the way home balling my eyes out saying that its so hard to keep friends, and if it wasn't for her and my dad I don't want to be on this earth anymore. My friend has a lot of aniexty and it stresses me out. For an example, I have another friend. My first friend gets mad at me when I hang out with friend #2 and is like "your replacing me" or "thanks for inviting me" and im like you have your friends why cant I have mine? I have to block friend number 1 from everything on social media when I hang with friend number 2 because I try and avoid conflict. When I left my friends house I told her I didn't want to tell her why I was upset because shes going to through it back at me and be like "well I don't want you to come over because im going to have this guy over." And its annoying. im tired. I didn't realize how hard it is to have friends. All my life I wanted friends and now that I have them I don't want any. its so hard like I can't go here or go there because what if she gets mad. She also gets in fights with me over everything. I told her she needs to chill with the boys and she just continues to fight with me and I try to end the conversation but shell keep bringing things up its annoying. I don't know what to do. How do I be more supportive of my friend, and are my feelings accurate about being sad? (link)
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Let's deal with you first and foremost. Being someone who knows a fair deal about mental health problems and medication first hand I must recommend stop drinking alcohol period. Don't consume anything but water, juice and soft-drinks now and again on this medication. You can get away with the level of alcohol in ONE beer per what doctors told me on my journey but why bother?
You are right an anti-depressant on top of a depressant and especially with Zoloft isn't good for it can heighten your level of depression, make the symptoms more severe, it can increase your anxiety, make you more tired than you were, cranky and unable to stop and be still. It affects your blood to medication levels. My own doctor told me never drink when on any psychiatric or anti-depressant med to avoid problems.
If you don't want to be on Earth anymore about anything let alone anything fixable or that can and will change than we have a real problem here and it goes back to your illness and medication. Are you really managing it right? That and not what your friend did/didn't do last night is where he worthlessness anxiety, inadequacy and feeling you cannot or aren't worthy of friends etc.
As far as your friend goes it's pretty bad and rude that she had the guy she didn't even know over and got into that kind of behavior. It's also dangerous if he's straight off a dating app to have him in her place alone or to tell you she didn't want you there. Tell her how you feel on both issues. She's more insecure than you believe me if after any and all potential suitors after being without a boyfriend for a few weeks.
I think part of the problem is that both of these people don't think that you have a backbone and walk over you taking advantage at times.
You need to tell the insecure person that you value her friendship and have no intention of ever replacing her for someone else or intentionally leaving her out as you have dealt with that yourself. However, let her know that just because you invited someone else somewhere and not her doesn't mean you wanted to exclude her.
Sometimes you need to be alone with someone else or her when people clash or have different interests or you promised your time. If she cannot see that it's not your fault and you need to see that's always the deal with her and accept it or decide she's too much. For now I would keep them both as friends but realize as time goes on to look at other people.
This brings me to my next point you are capable of friends and deserve them and are not deficient in any way or lacking the ability to be liked and accepted. You have been looking at yourself through an extremely dirty window for years and seeing a distorted view of self. I know you are pretty. Time to see it and embrace the real you.
People pick up on something they can't place as being wrong and don't approach you as easily because you don't appear secure. The moment you wake up to this fact and that it can and will change is when things will start to take off for you.
I think what you should do is call your doctor pronto and mention the Zoloft you are on and still feeling worthless, friendless, incapable of love or friends or a real purpose. Ask for more support,changing levels and access to workshops or anything that improves social skills, faith in self and coping skills. Ask them to fine tune your medication and make sure it's right.
I'm not a doctor and won't and can't diagnose what you need a psychiatrist for but from experience if you are feeling worthless or don't want to live that it's usually a sign your medication isn't right or you need more medical intervention and support to become well again. There's nothing wrong about getting it all checked out.
Support groups for your age group and mental health issue exist usually at the hospital or outside programs if you ask. You can make lasing friends there that are in the same boat, needing friends and non-judgmental of one another. That could help you a lot.
I think what I would do is have your parents act as a buffer zone. Have them answer your calls, leave e-mails alone for a few weeks and tell people you haven't been well.
See the doctor and rest getting yourself to feeling well and only go to work and home and do whatever you like to alone and not worrying about anything or anyone. It's a real chance to pitch the stress and have your depression and feelings more in check than before. I've done it myself.
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