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JunieBazinet
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about
I'm just an average person. I love to help people out :) it makes me feel better about myself. I've been in a lot of situations so I can most likely relate to a lot of your problems. I know what it feels like to not have anyone to talk to about your problems, which is why i'm an advicenator. I'm ready to help people and be there for everyone who needs advice or just a companion to speak out to. I'm always here if you need me, don't hesitate to drop a question or even just a vent/rant note about a problem to my advice column inbox. I respond to all of them regardless of the topic. I'm upfront and abrupt about my answers and never sugarcoat. Take my advice or not, but i'm just doing my job :)Played volleyball for over 10 years, also a coach. I love to try new things. Currently I'm trying the new sport of tennis and learning about my passion of photography.
advice
My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost a year. We met online and he came he recently came here for a month and we had a few issues but we sorted them out and he assured me everything between us is fine...He's gone back now and he's staying at his guy mate's place until he gets back on the road to his home and one of his friends wants him to go see her when he gets back. I know nothing is going on between them, since he said he's nowhere near attracted to her whatsoever but I'm getting upset just thinking about when he does go see her, they'll hug and i don't know if she likes him or not. They don't talk often but he's been away from home for a very long time and it's understandable he wants to catch up with his friends but i get so jealous so easily and insecure when he hugs his chick friends, even when he says he's committed to me completely.
when he was here and we were watching a movie, he saw some 'hot' chicks in bikini in the movie and he made a sound making it obvious he likes what he sees. We later on talked about it and he told me that he's a guy and yeah he'll acknowledge a girl's attractiveness but it doesn't mean he wants to 'screw' them, and i said fine whatever but do it in his head and not let me aware of it because it hurts.
He has a history of being a flirt and i know what he and i have is something he hasn't had in a long time and he said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but I can't handle that he finds other girls hot. i get that i'm not the only 'hot' girl he sees but i can't get over it. it's driving me crazy. I'm going to go see him in a month or two when he gets settled back home with his own place and a job but when its long distance, again, my insecurities come back. I know it sounds bad that i want to keep an eye on him. I do trust him, but not completely. i guess it's more lack of trust for the girls there than for him. I need to learn how to trust him 100% but i don't know how.
The thing is, he's his own person. Like seriously one of those "don't put rules on me" type of guy and i like that he's strong willed but he gets angry when i get upset or angry that he has a hot looking chick on his facebook so i don't know how to talk to him about it..since he has that flirtatious history, i get paranoid. and I don't know what he's gonna do over there when i'm asleep and its daytime or early evening there with the time differance and all. he said he'll be busy getting things sorted for me to go there but i told him i didn't want him to go clubbing or to parties, and he said he won't since he'll be busy trying to find a job and whatnot...I just can't help but think he will go to parties with his friends, who love to drink and get stoned and they'll talk him into going and urgh i don't know what to do!! :(
i don't really know what to tell you but to just take a deep breath and calm down.
really think about your relationship with him. is he worth it? is he really worth all this drama and stress and anxiety?
if he's not worth all this trouble, then just be honest with him and say its not going to work out. that you don't have good feelings about this and that you don't want to put up with the worries. just be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If you 2 are meant to be together, he will find a way to fight for you. if he doesn't fight for you/try to change your mind.. then maybe you 2 were never mean't to be.
however, if you think he is worth it, i would just calm down. no matter what he says, you're still going to feel this way. he can't control how you feel right now. only you can control your feelings. YOU need to reassure yourself that nothing bad is going to happen. nobody can magically make those bad feelings disappear. you have to learn how to make them go away. nobody in the world can tell you how to do that though.. its all on you. we can give you advice but nobody can tell you the step by step process on how to get over this issue.
my advice is just calm down and relax. take deep breaths and try saying out loud "everything is okay. everything is good." happy thoughts will help a lot. try to look at the positive things. like things he's said to you that mean a lot to you. or things you 2 have done that will reassure you that he is in love with you.
also, DONT be clingy and annoying. don't "check up" on him at night. that just shows lack of trust and will most likely cause fights or more issues. calm down and relax. let things happen naturally. in my opinion, it is better to let things happen naturally and by fate such as he tells you he cheated or something, than to have things happen forcefully such as spying on him and then your relationship ends because of that.
inbox me if you have more questions
I've always been told what a good person I am and it's become a characteristic that has defined me growing up. I've always been fair, helpful, and honest and kind. It's very important to me to be this way. I've never really had many friends or a big group I should say, because it's hard to find people that are the same. I've always had few, but close friends that I loved and valued very much, but I'm a very social person and I always wanted to meet a group that I fit in with well.
Mostly, and throughout high school, it was always me and my best friend, and we got along great because of how open we were with each other. However, as it got close to our senior year I started getting the feeling that she wasn't very genuine. Not to me, or in a sense where she was dishonest, but to others. She would constantly copy me or try to outdo me in everything we did to people and it became vexing. We went to different high schools but whenever we hung out together I would notice she would constantly say and act to people in a way that was naturally me. I felt that there was nothing I could do that was unique to me anymore because she would always emulate it and adopt it and claim to be better at it. It became extremely vexing because of how pretentious she was. I let it go because I felt bad telling her I didn't think she was authentic, but it truly got at me, and sometimes, it would come out in the way I treated her. I became a bit passive aggressive towards her, I didn't mean to, but I really was getting so upset over how she became. We ended up going to the same college but not rooming together and so in college I decided I was going to take my space, I wanted to see how she would be if she didn't have me in her life to emulate. She ended up resenting me for it and we actually finally talked about it and I told her how I felt. I knew I had to be honest if anything was to be fixed. She understood, but of course no one wants to hear that, so I think she sort of put it out of her mind. She also got her first boyfriend (I was on rocky ground with mine) and got busier. We were okay, but we just were never the same. I got out of my old relationship and found a new, amazing guy who introduced me to a great group of people and I finally had everything I ever wanted. The close group of friends, the sweet relationship, the adventures, the parties, the young life I dreamed of. I would see her now and again but her boyfriend is much older (like my previous one had been -__-) and she was living a completely different life than me. It continued on until today, when she comes to talk to me and tell me that we just are not the same anymore, and that she noticed it when we were all at dinner the other day (me her and her bf and two friends) and I was on my own wavelength that she couldn't even talk to me. I was actually very happy that night and talkative, but I had to leave early because I was going to an event (which I invited her to) and I had to leave before dinner was over. I put down some money on the table, said goodbye, and left. In retrospect I see how it was very rude to do so but I would have felt even worse leaving without paying, even though I only ate desert. In any case she was telling me how she just didn't even want to go with me because I was in my own world etc etc. Oh and how her boyfriend (who i was friends with before they started dating) strongly dislikes me now because of the fact that she tells him how she feels and he of course takes her side to the point where it even annoys her. She just told me all these things about what a bad friend I have been and its true, I can see it, but at the same time, I just wanted my space because of how upset I got at her behavior and the fact that she wasn't herself, she was me. Constantly. Not anymore since I wasn't hanging with her as much of course. Regardless, I see that I was a bad friend, but it was all subconscious because of how annoyed I got with her. I explained this to her but I don't feel like she fully understood. I hate how she sees me as a bad person and she even told me you're very passive aggressive, etc. And I really have been very happy in my life but this makes me feel terrible, I don't want to be a bad person and leave her behind, but I cannot stand the way she is sometimes and the fact that I feel this way makes me feel even worse. Overall I don't know what I should do about this.... I apologized to her boyfriend for that night, but I don't know, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I feel like now that I am so happy with a great group of friends, I may not be such a nice person, like maybe that's the price I have to pay? I'm just so confused. Advice?
you said you guys were friends in high school..? and went to the same college..?
well there ya go.. didn't anybody ever tell you that high school friends are completely different than your college friends/ friends you'll grow up with later?
most everybody agrees that high school and college are 2 completely different things. high school is when you're young and have interests like being popular and buying expensive clothing. but when you're in college/growing up, none of that really matters anymore. my point is, you 2 were friends in high school and got along well. senior year is the time when you start to mature and your interests are different. you start getting involved with different activities and you become more mature. thats the reason why you guys were starting to drift apart during senior year. because you 2 were maturing and your interests were not the same. then came college and you both went your separate ways. you guys hung out with different types of crowds. that happens..
the transition from high school to college is a big step. its the time when you start to discover your true self. when i look back, i realize that my high school attitude is nothing like my attitude right now. i have changed and become more mature and have other interests than i did back then. its natural and normal. so many people change when they get older. thats what happened to you guys. you had the same interests in high school but when you guys went to college, both of you changed and grew apart. its normal. it happened to me and most likely happened to a lot of people. don't feel bad about it.
as for your situation.. i wouldn't feel sorry at all. one of the biggest reasons you 2 are separated is because of her attitude. she's the one who started copying you and was always competing with you. what did you do wrong? all you did was prove to her that you're better than that. all you did was move on. all you did was change and become a better person by leaving her behind. she should be feeling sorry because she shouldn't be judging you.
you said you're happy with a great new group of friends?? that's perfect! why should you be stuck with the past and be stuck with horrible feelings? MOVE ON! high school was the past. she is most likely the past. just be abrupt and tell her "hey, we were good pals in high school. but lets be serious and mature... we both grew up and have different values and interests and we just aren't compatible anymore. we went our different ways and to be honest, i'm living such a great life right now. i really dont' want to be stuck in the past with you." maybe she will feel the same way.
1 more thing- don't try to pressure your friendship. don't feel like "i have to keep this friendship alive". let fate take the wheel. if you 2 are becoming distant, then that's fate. don't try to control everything and just let things go naturally.
if you're happy with the way things are with you're new group of friends, then that's great! stick with them and just be happy. dont be stuck in the past :) move on!
inbox me if you have any more questions!
16/f
I've always had very good, strong nails (after I stopped biting a few years back!). But, a year ago, my mom suggested I try fish oil pills since I don't eat any seafood whatsoever. They keep my nails very strong and healthy. But, when I take them, I always get pimples, especially in between my eyebrows..and they really never go away. It's like everyday I'll have redness there. So, I stopped taking the fish oil pills, and my skin has been flawless (the way it used to be), but of course my nails have been ravaged. They constantly chip and peel, and make weak efforts to grow. I haven't been able to paint them in a while. I even put on the clear growth polish which helps, but it doesn't stop the chipping in peeling. I also have been eating a handful or two of walnuts for the past 3 or 4 days because I heard they were a good source of omega-3s. What can I do to get omega-3 in my body without having my skin jeopardized??
go to organic and natural food/pharmacy places. around where i live, there's a place called Lakewinds and they have so many natural and organic things. there's a section just for hair and nails. there's also different kinds of vitamin bottles. i'm sure if you just did research on it, you'd find something :)
Hey guys. I really need someone to talk to and I have no one. I don't even have one person. So, I hope that maybe someone out there will here my cry and give me the advice I need. I appreciate first of all that you are reading this. But, I really need practical advice. Not just someone telling me to talk to my mom or something like that. Because obviously, I wouldn't be at this point if I didn't "talk" to her. I have sat her down and talked to her about this. But, my mom doesn't listen. Not only does she not listen, but you never know what kind of mood she's in. She may say ok and the next day she goes and does it again.
First of all I'm 20/female. I live with my mom and my grandparents. My mom and I have good and bad days like any other family. Sometimes we fight. Other times we're friends. But, it's gotten to a point where I've lost all my energy and I think I'm starting to get sick over it. About two years ago, I suffered with anorexia and bullemia because of the stress. Now, I feel like I just get sick all the time because my immune system is suffering.
My mom has been a very "obsessive" person from the time I was very young. When, I got into my teens it became a problem. She was overprotective but not in the sense that she wouldn't let me do anything. She would let me go out, but back then when there was myspace, she would go into mine, read my messages, check my e-mails. She had all my passwords and if I changed them, she would throw a TANTRUM. You may think I'm kidding, but I'm talking about the tantrum of a small child. Like crying. So, I would have to give her the passwords. If I didn't, she would threaten never to speak to me again. She would sit beside me when I was on Instant Messenger and tell me what to tell people. I had absolutely NO secrets from her. Like, not even a secret a friend told me would be a secret from her. She would find out. It made me really upset but I thought it was a small price to pay since she would let me go out and stuff. There are some kids whose parents don't. So, I thought I was lucky in that sense. I knew I had freedom I only craved a TINY piece of privacy, like having my own private e-mail account. But, like I said. I thought it was a small price to pay.
So, fast-forward. When it was time to apply for college, she really wanted to me stay here. She didn't want me to leave. At this point, I was just starting to get over anorexia and bullemia and I felt like I needed her and like I needed my family nucleus. But, I may have been wrong. The day after graduation, I was contemplating just doing summer here where I live and transferring in the Fall to a university in the state but outside my city. The day after I graduated, my mom dropped a major bomb: I'm adopted. I don't think after I heard that news, I was ever the same again. She didn't sit me down and talk to me. She didn't take my hand and say that she decided to adopt a baby. This is how it happened. I was crying because I was really upset about the school situation. I was crying hysterically too because the night before I had a fight with her. I was mad for a variety of reasons. But, I went to a very small school. 75 people in my graduating class, all girls school. These were the richest people in my city. I wasn't rich, but I've always been content. However, everyone in my class drove to school senior year. I was the ONLY senior who didn't drive because my mom was too afraid to let me drive. I just wasn't where I wanted to be in life and I was so angry at her because of the night before. So, she woke up really upset and so did I. She pretty much told me while we were fighting that she wasn't my mother and that my dad wasn't my father and that his kids really were and those are the kids he lives with. Every time I think about being adopted, it's really hard to think of it as this loving, beautiful thing, which it is. But, because i found out that way, I associate it with fighting and people leaving and it's just something I'm not comfortable with.
The day of my orientation, I couldn't even sleep over at the dorms (which some students due at orientation so they don't have to drive back the next day), and I couldn't stay there. I went into this really big depression. They were talking about fraternities and sororities and all the clubs offered and I was nowhere near listening. My mind was elsewhere. The same day of orientation, my biological mother had e-mailed me back. That same day, I had a relapse and went back to my eating disorder until February of last year.
I can only imagine how much better I would have done in school, all the things I would have joined, all the friends I would have made, if I wouldn't have found out that way on that day. I know there's never a right time but there is a right way. And it's not shouting at someone and telling them in an argument. If she had held that secret in her for 18 years, in all types of circumstances, why now?? She claimed that the reason she spied on me all those years was so that someone would not tell me. She wanted to delete the myspace message before someone sent me a message saying that i was adopted. There were people in my school who knew because they knew people in my family. I swear I had no idea before that day. I look like my parents. I'm their daughter. But, I'm so upset because they don't understand what I'm going through and they don't want to understand.
All my mom does is fight with me. She makes a mess out of my room and has no respect for the fact that I just need my own little space to study. She really doesn't care. I have talked to her about it before, but she continues to throw things around my room, on my desk, etc. She doesn't log into my facebook account anymore, but she got her own. I made the mistake of telling her who the guy that I like is, and she looks at his facebook day and night. That's not about protecting me anymore. It's about being a nuisance. I'm TWENTY! I'm not trying to say I know everything about the world. I know I'm young. But, I think I'm past the stage where my mother has to spy on me to get information about me. If she wanted to know more about my life, she could start gaining my trust and i would tell her.
Even when I have friends or go out with new friends, she ALWAYS has something bad to say about them. It's more like she wants to be my only friend. I don't know what it is. But, talking hasn't helped and I've lost all sense of how to take care of this situation.
Help!
xoxo
hey. first of all, i'm so so SO sorry you had to go through with all of this :( i'm only 18 but i can't imagine what it must have been like to be in your shoes. Another thing, i'm always here if you need someone to talk to ok? always.
Considering you're 20... you're legally an adult.. why don't you just move out?? sorry if it comes off in a rude way, but seriously.. i'm graduating in 3 months and going to college this fall. i'm 2 years younger than you and i'm already a step ahead of you because i'm moving out and you're still stuck with your mom.
I know it may seem like a bad thing to just leave, but in all honesty, if i were in your situation, i'd just pack my stuff and leave. you're legally an adult, you can legally do that. even if your mom throws a fit over it, id just leave to get away from all that drama. of course i would still keep in contact with her just in case there's an emergency and she needed you.. but its YOUR life. YOURS. not hers.. you're the one who is going to be living it in the next few years. YOU make those decisions, not her. at this point, she can only give you her opinions and advice, but she cannot tell you what to do. yes she will be mad if you move out, but you know what? don't you just want to prove to her that she can't control you anymore??
seriously. stop "talking" to her about it. stop "fighting" about it and JUST DO IT. telling her your feelings is not getting you anywhere. she may listen or not listen, but there's no way she will officially understand how you feel unless you TAKE ACTION AND DO IT.
moving out sends the message to her that you're a mature adult and ready to take on YOUR OWN LIFE. if you just talk about it, she won't believe it. but if you actually go ahead and do it, she will finally realize that you're serious about it and understand it more clearly.
you're 20.. you shouldn't have to deal with this anymore.. i can't believe you're still stuck in this situation. if i were you, i would have left the moment i knew things were getting out of control and just prove to her that this is my life not hers.
there's nothing really else you can do either.. i mean you can't really "talk" to her about it because it wont solve anything. the only thing i can really think of as a solution is to just move out and live your own life. get a job and get your own apartment and live your own life. soon enough, your mother will realize that she needs to let go and let you grow up and be an adult. you ARE an adult. you don't need to go through with this anymore. you and your mother need to face the truth.. 20 years old means its time to move out and start your own life.
hey dont be afraid to inbox me if you have any more questions ok?? i'm ALWAYS here to listen and help if you need anything ok? :)
I like this guy and I've known him for about 6 years or so but just recently became friends with him.Unfortunately i fell for him. My friend liked him before and although he wasn't rude and blunt in telling her he didn't feel the same way their friendship deteriorated. They talk but no where near as much as before. Now I'm stuck in this situation i don't want to tell him I like him because it will ruin our friendship. The thing with him is not that's he's a player but he is just a nice guy to everyone.I don't think he knows how to just give hints when he dosnt like someone, in other words he sends mixed messages. We talk and text all the time but deep down I think I know he dosnt like me. Should I risk our friendship or stay quiet and try to grt over my feelings for him?
say your true feelings.
you only live once.
take risks.
isn't it better to know the truth? than to hide in fear of losing something?
if i were you, i'd definitely tell him. its a 50/50 shot he says yes or no. take the risk.
if he says no- whatever. brush it off your shoulder and be PROUD that you had the COURAGE to do something so BRAVE.
let me ask you this.. out of all the things you're gonna have to face later in life, this is so simple and easy. how are you going to face bigger issues in life, if you can't even face this little issue?
are you seriously going to stay a little scardy cat the rest of your life? or are you going to start to learn and experience how to become brave?
you know that clique saying "practice makes perfect"?
well apply it to this situation. if you practice being brave a lot, then one of these days you'll be so brave that you can face ANY issue out there :) being brave is one of the best qualities a person can have! be proud to be brave!
also, if he says he doesnt have feelings for you.. don't let it get to you. know that you're who you are. you can't please EVERYBODY.. but you can please yourself :) if he says no, who cares! you can find someone who WILL love you.
and hey.. there's always a chance he could feel the same way.
oh and 1 more thing- guys find girls very attractive when you're brave and nonchalant (nonchalant=don't care if something bad happens. always looking on the bright side. not letting anything bad get to you and always staying positive) guys love that about girls. so if he says no, wear your heart on your sleeve and show the world that 1 little issue like this WONT bring you down :)
go getttt 'em !!!!!!
14/f, friend is 15/f
I love my best friend to death. We never used to fight, but lately we have been having little heated arguments, nothing serious but a big fight could easily happen. I have to be careful what I say because she overreacts and gets really mad about nothing but it's not her fault because there are family issues. I know friends fight and usually break up eventually but I don't want it to end, especially with a fight. Please help! What should I do? Thank you!
Also I always try to stop the arguments but she just says too late or idc. Sometimes it's her fault sometimes it's mine. We always make up but still.
oh boy i know how you feel. you're listening to the the queen of ex-friends. i can't tell you how many friends i used to have but then eventually we separated.
just like the other person said, it could be because you both are too close. give each other some space and hopefully you'll miss each other and want to hang out after a few weeks
also, don't pressure your friendship. dont make the same mistake i did. I had a really good best friend. we were like sisters. but i always felt pressured to keep the friendship alive. like if we had a fight, i'd always feel pressured to not let it get out of hand and i would pressure myself to keep us together no matter what.. but you know what? thats not good. what if you 2 had a fight about an issue that REALLY mattered to you?
for example- lets say she stole something. you think that is horrible but she thinks its not a big deal. you 2 have a fight about it. lets say the fight gets really heated up. are you just going to "give up" because you dont want to lose her? or are you going to stand up for what you believe is right? my mistake was that it would get to the point where i had to give up on the fights just so we could stay friends. she would always win the arguments because i was too scared to stand up for myself and was too scared to lose her as a friend. Then there was 1 fight where things got really bad. she made a promise but didnt keep that promise. she claims "she was doing the right thing" but i got so mad at her and said she was disloyal because she didnt keep that promise to me.
what's the point in keeping a friend, if you can't even stand up for yourself and say how you feel?
i know you want to stay friends with her.. but is it really worth it if you have to "end the fights before they get out of control?" in my opinion, i would rather say how i feel and stand up for my beliefs and possibly lose that friend.. than to not speak my mind and live in fear of losing that friend.
in other words, what good is a friend if you can't even be honest with them about your feelings? if you're in a fight with her and you're mad at her, don't you want to stand up for yourself and prove your point? instead of just giving up and saying "my morals/beliefs aren't important because i dont want to lose this friend"
if you have to "be careful of what you say" and "stop arguments" and "hide your beliefs from her" then whats the point in having her as a friend??
in all honesty, you can find a friend much better than her. a friend who will actually listen to what you have to say. don't you want a friend who you can be around and don't have to worry about saying the wrong things? dont you want a friend who you can stand up for yourself and not be scared of losing them?
1 more thing- life sucks. you're gonna lose someone sooner or later. face the truth. if you're going to have a friend, it better be a friend whom you feel comfortable with and don't have to be living in fear or pressure to "keep them".
if you say the wrong thing, or if a fight breaks you guys up.. well then that sucks. thats life. move on. stop trying to "keep the friendship alive" especially if it means hiding your beliefs and being scared to stand up for yourself.
inbox me if you have more questions
is it normal or fair that your parents wont let you date when you are 17 years old? i have a boyfriend and he's in college now i don't know if i can even call him my boyfriend because my parents refuse to let me go out with him besides that i'm not allowed to go out anywhere not even with friends because they are so controlling i really like this guy and i'm afraid that he will drift away because i never see him what do i do in this situation?
thanks in advance
yeahh not gonna lie that is pretty controlling..
i would understand if they wouldn't let you date a college guy because college guys are rowdy and get in trouble a lot (drinking etc since they aren't legally a minor anymore)
but if they wont allow you to go out with friends.. then yah thats controlling in my opinion.
try getting on their good side. do some extra chores around the house, ask them if they need help with anything like walking the dog or washing the car or making dinner etc.
then just talk to them and ask them WHY they wont let you go out with friends. (btw its best to start with a light topic like going out with friends, rather than just jumping into the main problem about your boyfriend)
remember- dont be annoying or whiney. be mature about it. say something like "if i can do extra chores and help you guys out with your troubles, then can i go out with my friends more? extend curfew by an hour? get a bigger allowance? I feel mature enough to handle this and take on a bigger responsibility"
also you could say something like- "how am i supposed to be successful in life if you don't let me grow up and experience new things? (in a good way)"
it might also be a good idea to remind them that you won't get into trouble like smoking or drinking and that you will stay true to their rules like curfew times and such.
if they still say no, then cool off and take a break and then try to talk to them again after 24 hours. DO NOT talk to them about the issue earlier than 24 hours because that seems so annoying and like you're complaining etc.
baby steps haha dont forget to be mature about it
*EDIT*
well if you already talked to them and let other people talk to them.. then i guess there isn't much to do or say.. ultimately they ARE your parents. they technically overrule you until you are of legal adult age when you can move out. so if everything fails, just hold on 1 more year (you said you're 17?) and then when you're 18 you are legally an adult and can legally move out and live your own life :) regardless if they approve or disapprove of your choices, once your 18 you can legally leave them and do things your own way because its YOUR life not theirs.
inbox me if you have any more questions
Not sure if this will work if I try to send it. But hey, it can't hurt to try, can it? Anyways, I'm the chick that asked about that confusing "steve" guy and billy and stuff. Remember me? Yeah.. that's me. I'm writing to you now, not for advice but because I think it'd be cool to talk to you.. you know.. outside of advicenators. Like, facebook for instance. Who am I kidding? This probably wont even work 'cause of that question filter thing. Anyways... if you ever get this lemme know.
Hey! Ya I remember you haha. Before we become facebook friends I would just like to get to know you first like age and gender. And you're welcome for the advice! I love helping people and I'm always here
Basically i had this best friend who i was really close to, we use to hang out every weekend, but 2010 i had a really bad year had a close family death and dunno i had so much angry and sadness and i just took it out on her all the time i slapped her on the face when i was drunk which i am ashamed of,i have argue issues where i have trouble controlling my anger and she would always forgive me until one time where she couldnt and refuses to, i have told her i am sorry and that i cant lose her, and i just cry all the time now, and i really am sorry cause im just full of guilt and its affecting everything home life, my learning at school which im doing a levels, and even though we still friends, and i respect her for allowing this, i just miss her so much and i feel like i have lost myself, and she doesnt see i really am trying i just feel like a failure in life, but i really do love and care about her, but she doesnt care about me anymore and its killing me literally :( i need to talk to her tomorrow and i dont no what to say, would appreciate the advice
speak from your heart. say whats on your mind. be honest with her.
if she's a loyal friend, she will come back because she cares about you.
if she doesn't come back, well then that sucks. life sucks. life's unfair. be sure to learn your lesson from it. maybe you shouldn't treat your friends like shit. there's a reason why she doesn't trust you anymore. learn from it.
i'm sorry i'm sounding so harsh, but its the truth. you really need to learn how to take the reigns on your life. nobody can control your life except YOU. you control it. whatever is happening right now, you need to control it. you cant just hand over your life to someone else and expect them to make it better.
the only thing she can do is be there for you and help you with some advice. but she can't take over your life and transform it..
if she's not a loyal friend, then she's not worth your tears and troubles. you can find other friends who will actually respect you. but remember this.. in order for them to respect you.. YOU need to respect THEM too.
i hope i helped and i'm here if you need someone to talk to.
All of a sudden, I started getting a lot of acne this month. I usually get about one or two pimples before I get my period (age 15). My doctor had perscribed me Benza Clin a while ago and I would use it on those pimples that I would get. They would sometimes stay for a few days then disappear but now they don't and I just keep getting more! Should I go back to using my Neutrogena Cleanser and Toner at night? The toner used to make my skin dry so maybe I should follow it up with lotion. Would the original Neutrogena Hand Cream Norwegian Formula work well for my face? Will it produce more acne? Also, just another curious question, what really causes acne? Something I eat? Stress? Please give adive ASAP so I can know what to do about these pimples!!!
i would use the stuff your doctor perscribed you because they are more experienced and know what they are perscribing you.
the main thing causing acne is dirt and bacteria. so make sure you wash your face 2 times a day. when you wake up and when you go to sleep. use a face wash thats specially made for acne because it has acne medicine inside the wash.
if the toner made your skin dry, use a lotion. but use a lotion thats made for acne skin because like i said, its made for acne and has medicine in it. I use Aveeno Clean Complexion. its really wonderful and leaves my skin soft and smooth and has acne medicine inside of it to treat them and prevent them
i wouldn't use the norwegian hand cream you mentioned, because its for your hands.. not for acne. i'm studying chemistry and let me tell you this- hand creams and face creams are 2 totally different things. yeah they are both creams but they have different ingredients inside of them. face creams have ingredients in them that will prevent acne, but hand creams dont have those ingredients.
food and stress have a slight impact on your acne. its a factor but its not the main one.
also another tip, don't over apply. like dont wash your face too much. dont apply too much medicine. that will end up making things worse. dont expect to see results in a few days either. it will take time to heal. DONT POP THEM. they cause scars and look really ugly.
if you want them to clear up, you really need to pay attention to it. no slacking off. for example, if you wash your face in the morning, dont think "oh i already washed my face this morning so i dont need to wash it at night" WRONG. dont slack off or procrastinate. you have to keep the same schedule and pay attention to what works and what doesnt.
I've been on the computer a lot since age 8, and I'm 17 now. What influence has it had on you? I feel like a computer addict.. but I went on the computer a lot because I didn't have much friends to really hang out with and everything. And now it's just an escape, really, after really stressful days. But it's caused me to procrastinate to an extreme degree, these past few years. But I went on fun sites over the years like Neopets, GaiaOnline, Tumblr, etc. And played many games like Sims, MapleStory, GunBound, and Habbo Hotel.. from many of their beginnings. Like I was on MS since Beta. I don't play games anymore, and now I mainly go on forums, look up news articles, watch shows and movies online, and use tumblr and facebook.
Its scary to ask, but is it sad that a lot of my life was shaped by the internet? and am i the only one? what does it mean? what are the positives and drawbacks?
ahah i'm just like you. 18 years old. i'm not really a "social butterfly". i come home from school and get on facebook and come on advicenators and give out advice. its what i do in my free time, instead of going to parties etc.
i'm not really sure what it means either. its nothing to be ashamed of though. some people watch movies all day. some people drink all day. we like to be on the computer all day. its not a big deal.
the drawbacks are.. of course, not having a life outside of the computer. not socializing enough. not experiencing things and missing out on opportunities
positives, learning new things from online. getting more experience (on this website of course) because you learn what other people have been through and what to do if you're in a similar situation.
i'm trying to get out more and doing new things, maybe you should try the same! :)
so this summer I'm turning 17, and every year I've had a party. I can't spend much money so I'm hoping to keep the party at my house -- I have a trampoline and a pool, but I'm starting to think that parties like this during the day are getting too.. old.
Any suggestions?
this is just my opinion. but birthday parties are soo overrated.
its fine when you're younger like your 5th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.. but when you're 17, it just seems silly.
now dont get me wrong.. i'm not saying "dont go out and dont have fun" you can still hang out with friends. but in my opinion, dont make it such a big deal. like dont print out invitations and have an RSVP and starting time etc. it just seems cheesy and childish. especially for a 17 year old.
what i did was just invite some friends over and all we did was hang out. just like any other day we hang out. it wasn't anything special. we had a few balloons and of course cake. but besides that it was a basic hang out day. pizza, video games, night games, and hanging out.
btw i'm a girl haha. 18 years old.
if you want, you can have a girls night out and go see a movie and get makeovers or something like that. but you said you can't spend much money so i think its best to just hang out at your house.
you dont HAVE to take my advice, i'm just offering another point of view.
This is a very complicated story. It's also very long, but I'm going to make it as short as I can. Last Saturday (the 5th) I was talking to this guy on facebook. (I know him personally, I wasn't talking to some random creeper). We talked for about 5-6 hours that night, which is a long time. I was listening to the song "beauty in the breakdown" by The Scene Aesthetic. Heard it? No? Look it up :) Anyways, he liked my status and then he sent me the next part of the song through chat. Then I sent him the next next part. See a pattern? Haha, we sent it back and forth for a few minutes. About two hours later, we were talking about how everything strangely happens for a reason. So, as my status, I put "Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." then he asked, "do you like my status?" So I looked, and his status was "....but it's the biggest things that will ruin your life forever." I was like, shocked haha. About an hour later, I got tired of my status so I put another part of the song as my status. Later, I went to his profile (cause I'm a creeper like that) and his status was the entire following verse. He kept like, finishing my statuses. I didn't hate it, haha. We talked for a few hours after that, then he had to go. On Monday in school, he kept looking at me in lunch. Him and his friend stared at me for like 9 seconds at one point. I got scared. haha. Then afterschool on facebook, I asked his friend why they were looking at me. He told me that "steve" (the dude is "steve", obviously) said something about me so he turned around and looked. I asked him what "steve" said, but he said he 'didnt remember'. So when I didn't believe him (lol) I asked "steve" about it. He said that his friend looked because he asked him what he was staring at, then turned around and looked. Then I asked "steve" "what were you staring at?" he said "who do you fucking thing i was looking at?" "me?" "no shit." (he's funny). So I ended up talking to him for a while. While I've been talking to him, I've had a boyfriend. Don't yell at me. I'm not a cheater. The thing is, my boyfriend never acted like he cared about me, and that sucked. I told "steve" that I was having trouble deciding between my boyfriend and this other guy I've been talking to. On one hand, I dont wanna lose my boyfriend. But on the other hand, I don't wanna be with someone who doesnt care about me. But I was afraid that if I lost my boyfriend over "steve" then "steve" wouldn't like me and I'd end up alone. So I was telling "steve" this, and he said "hmm... thats quite a pickle you're in" (he's so funny). He told me that if my boyfriend was like that, then I should get rid of him.. and he asked who the other guy was. I told him I couldn't tell him. So I told him it was him (of course). He said that he needed to focus on school and stuff, and that having an "in school" girlfriend would distract him. I thought that was just an excuse.. wouldn't you think that? So I told him, "you dont have to say stuff like that. If you really don't like me like that, then just tell me. Don't make up excuses though." and he replied "well, if you think about it, I'm saying the opposite." He told me that he thought I was cute, but he had to get to know me better before anything happened... and I understood that. And then when I had to go, he said "goodnight cutie(:" which was cute of him to say.. OH JEEZ. Tuesday. The most complicated day. He kept looking at me and smiling at me in lunch, right? Then I started talking to him afterschool on facebook (again). He talked to me, but then after a while he just ignored me. Long story short, my boyfriend ended up dumping me that day. I told "steve" "Look I dont know if you're busy or anything, but I really need someone to talk to. Could we talk? Please?" He didn't say anything for the rest of the day. Wednesday.. he still looked at me in school. Then on facebook, we talked then he ignored me.. again. Thursday.. he did not look at me at all. Of course, we talked on facebook for a while, then he ignored me. Big surprise there. I had this idea. I told myself that I'd just give him his space for a few days, you know, so he didn't get annoyed. I didn't talk to him on friday or saturday. Then on sunday, when I logged onto facebook, I saw he had blocked me. (I have my ways of finding out). I didn't understand. My relationship was over just because this asshole that told me he liked me told me to end it. Then after he tells me he likes me, he just ignores me. We have a mutual friend, "steve" and I. Lets call him billy. (his name is billy). He's been my friend for a while, so I knew I could trust him. I told him everything that had happened. He told me that if "steve" talked to me for that long on saturday and did all those silly status things, then he must like me, because he doesnt waste him time with/for just anybody. Then, billy asked "steve" if he liked me or not. "steve" told billy he didn't like me. Then billy told me that they don't really talk about girls that much anyways... they're not "best" friends. billy also told me that "steve" doesnt really tell a lot of people who he likes. I just don't understand though. We talk for hours. He flirts with me. He stares at me. He spends his time talking to ME. He tells me he likes me. The next day, he ignores me. He doesnt look at me. He tells his friend he doesnt like me. He blocks me. Did I miss something?? Note: none of his friends know what his deal is. Hes not the kinda guy that normally lies to girls like this.
wowzers thats a big story.
it seems like he could be playing hard to get. which means he's trying to make you go crazy over him.
or it could be true, that he doesn't like you. He could have liked you in the beginning but then changed his mind. people change their minds. sometimes fast. he could be one of those guys who is interested for a while, then changes his mind and loses interest.
or possibly he could think you're too much drama. i mean, you did just get out of a relationship. in my opinion, when a person gets out of a relationship and then starts looking for another one right after that.. it usually means they're desperate or needy. he could just not be interested in those kinds of girls.
whatever the reason is.. you need to talk to HIM about it. not billy. not anybody else. HIM. instead of facebook chat, CALL HIM. just let him know whats on your mind. say something like "hey you're really confusing me. can you please just let me know how you feel about me.. i dont want to be lead on"
if you dont have the nerve to talk to him about it, you should give him his space. (2 days is not enough.. you need to give him minimum 1 week, maximum 2 weeks of space) he might be confused just as much as you are. space and time will allow him to get his thoughts straight. after you give him space, then slowly start to talk to him more. let him know you miss him. you miss talking to him. say what's on your mind and dont hold anything back.
if he does say he's uninterested.. i say move on. no guy is worth all that drama and trouble. you can find a guy who will adore you and wont lead you on like that.
also, don't be afraid to fly solo. you mentioned- "But I was afraid that if I lost my boyfriend over "steve" then "steve" wouldn't like me and I'd end up alone. " which is exactly what happened.. dont be afraid to be alone.
being single is nothing to be ashamed of. you can do so many things when you're single, which you can't do when you're in a relationship. use your single time to explore yourself. figure out what your interests are. try new things like new sports or hobbies and discover yourself.
actually, i was kinda like you about 3 years ago. i was so scared of being single. there was so much pressure on me to be in a relationship and i rushed it with my first boyfriend. so take my advice, be proud to be single. its really not that bad :)
inbox me if you have more questions. i'm here to listen!!
telling that special someone you like them & after youuu tell them they stop talkinqq to you
move on. its probably not mean't to be. you'll find that special someone who is in love with you and adores you.
one thing i've learned in my past mistakes is dont dwell on the past. i can't tell you how many times i've dwelled on the past and so much drama resulted because of it. take my advice and just move on. its not worth it if he's not interested.
also, dont look so hard. one of the greatest things about love is FALLING in love. falling in love doesn't mean you're looking for love. it means you just fall. it happens naturally.
Well my boyfriend and I will be making out and he's fingered me before and I want to know how to go about giving him a hand job. Like should we be making out at the same time as I give him a hand job? Do the pants have to come off? And like will it be hard to "smoothly slide my hand up and down" or is it not? What are other tips yanno? Can he be fingering me and I be jerking him off at the same time? Haha, sorry this is awkward.
sexual intimacy is an art. not a science..
meaning.. there's no formula you have to follow. you can do whatever you want. express yourselves in different ways.
just remember that.
since i'm in a good mood, i'll give you some tips to try out.
you can make out with him while you give him a hand job
you can take his pants off or on. leaving them on is harder because its harder to reach down but you can loosen them and pull them down half way. it isn't hard to "smoothly slide your hand up and down". you can both finger and give hand job at the same time. its not that hard. doesn't require any mental activity at all.
if you've never done it before, heres some things that will make him go crazy
rub him on the head/tip the most. thats the most pleasurable spot for them.
try using different rubbing techniques. so instead of up and down. try rotating left and right. if you can, do both. up and down while twisting left and right. go slow and then fast.
if you feel brave enough, try giving him head if you want. its pretty much the same as hand job but instead of your hands its just with your mouth and tongue. twirl your tongue around the head and lick and suck it.
like i said before, its not rocket science. there's no specific way to do this. just let loose, have fun, and most of all... be safe!!
I like thiss guy and he likes me back but there is just one tiny problem he has a girlfriend. He says he is not happy with her but he is waiting for her to break up with him cause he doesnt want to hurt her.But im not sure what to do should i leave it alone or keep liking him?
honey look at it this way..
what if you and him were in a relationship and he started to like another girl. then says to her "i like you but i'm stuck with my girlfriend and i dont want to hurt her/breakup with her"
how would you feel if he did the same exact thing to you??
or look at it this way-
either way he will end up hurting her. whether if he breaks up with her, or if she finds out that he's been liking you the whole time. either way she WILL get hurt. there's no way to prevent it.
I say stay out of it and avoid drama. drama sucks. tell him he either needs to get the guts to break it off with her, or stop liking him because if he's willing to do this to his girlfriend right now, he's most likely will do the same thing to you..
So recently I got a job working at bubba gump shrimp resturant as a hostess I'm still in the training process so I have not gotten paid yet. This particular resturant is a chain I i work in the one in new York City times quare it's always crazy busy especially at this Christmas season. I get paid 8.25 an hour plus a percentage of what the resturant makes. All hostess share 25 percent of the restaurants profit. When i ask how much is average the managers or trainers just say don't worry about it. I'm anxious to find out so my question is does any one know someone who works there or works there themselves I would really like to find out.
i dont really know but i do know that Bubba Gump is a HUGE restaurant and very popular. you said that it gets pretty packed, especially during holiday seasons. that basically means the restaurant is getting paid big bucks. and then if you think about it 25% of profit is 1/4 of all of the profit. lets say 1 dinner meal costs 20 dollars. lets say a family of 4 went to dinner. thats 80 dollars that they spent on that night. multiply 80 by however many families would show up in 1 night is probably 80 times like 100 families for 1 night. thats 8000 dollars in 1 night. then multiply that number by however many days or weeks you get paid. so if you get paid every other week. multipy that by 14 (14 days in 2 weeks) and thats how much the restaurant gets in profit. now you get 25% of that so split that number into 4 and ta da there's how much you earn.
so again.. i say.. its probably a lot since bubba gump is very popular and expensive and crowded.
I've heard the world was going to come to an end on 2012, 2011, and on a thursday in 2011, is that truee at all?
well i believe it will end on december 2012 because i was watching the history channel and it was all about the mayan calendars and it said a bunch of stuff ( i cant remember what kinds of stuff) but so far they have been true and the calendar stopped on december 2012 so thats why people believe it will end because everything else on the calendar was true so why shouldn't this be true?
but honestly, its such a controversial topic because everyone has their own opinions and people believe what they want to believe. all i'm saying is, just because i believe in this.. doesn't mean you have to believe it too. you believe what you want and we can only give you our opinions. which is i guess a reason to say that nobody really knows because its not a proven thing and because so many people have different opinions.
if i got a microphone and recorded stuff, could i put it on my ipod?
probably. you just need to upload it to the computer and if its not in an .mp3 form, you'd have to change it. there's media converters online just search it up. media converters are basically when you upload something and then there's options to change the format and it will change it for you and you download it again. then just open up itunes and put it on there. ta da!
I am a senior in high school located in NY. I applied to 12 colleges, them being.
1. Agnes Scott (mistake, sorta).
2. Arizona State U
3. College of Charleston
4. Coastal Carolina
5. East Carolina
6. Fisher College
7. Greensboro College
8. Johnson & Wales - Charlotte
9. Mitchell College
10. UNC Charlotte
11. SUNY Plattsburgh
12. Washington college
So far. i've gotten denied by 5 of them.... I have a average of a 80 in my school, which isn't to great, i know.
And only accepted by 1..that being fisher with a 5k scholarship.
My ACT i scored a 14 composite.... again, i know i'm a failure.
I was wondering if anyone knew of any fairly simple colleges that could accept me, preferably along the east coast with warm weather.
any help given is greatly appreciated!
Thank you
check community colleges. they are really easy to get into. they aren't well known so you would have to do a lot of research to find out about it. they are preferablly away from city life and around suburbs.