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He confuses me....


Question Posted Tuesday March 15 2011, 6:02 pm

This is a very complicated story. It's also very long, but I'm going to make it as short as I can. Last Saturday (the 5th) I was talking to this guy on facebook. (I know him personally, I wasn't talking to some random creeper). We talked for about 5-6 hours that night, which is a long time. I was listening to the song "beauty in the breakdown" by The Scene Aesthetic. Heard it? No? Look it up :) Anyways, he liked my status and then he sent me the next part of the song through chat. Then I sent him the next next part. See a pattern? Haha, we sent it back and forth for a few minutes. About two hours later, we were talking about how everything strangely happens for a reason. So, as my status, I put "Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever." then he asked, "do you like my status?" So I looked, and his status was "....but it's the biggest things that will ruin your life forever." I was like, shocked haha. About an hour later, I got tired of my status so I put another part of the song as my status. Later, I went to his profile (cause I'm a creeper like that) and his status was the entire following verse. He kept like, finishing my statuses. I didn't hate it, haha. We talked for a few hours after that, then he had to go. On Monday in school, he kept looking at me in lunch. Him and his friend stared at me for like 9 seconds at one point. I got scared. haha. Then afterschool on facebook, I asked his friend why they were looking at me. He told me that "steve" (the dude is "steve", obviously) said something about me so he turned around and looked. I asked him what "steve" said, but he said he 'didnt remember'. So when I didn't believe him (lol) I asked "steve" about it. He said that his friend looked because he asked him what he was staring at, then turned around and looked. Then I asked "steve" "what were you staring at?" he said "who do you fucking thing i was looking at?" "me?" "no shit." (he's funny). So I ended up talking to him for a while. While I've been talking to him, I've had a boyfriend. Don't yell at me. I'm not a cheater. The thing is, my boyfriend never acted like he cared about me, and that sucked. I told "steve" that I was having trouble deciding between my boyfriend and this other guy I've been talking to. On one hand, I dont wanna lose my boyfriend. But on the other hand, I don't wanna be with someone who doesnt care about me. But I was afraid that if I lost my boyfriend over "steve" then "steve" wouldn't like me and I'd end up alone. So I was telling "steve" this, and he said "hmm... thats quite a pickle you're in" (he's so funny). He told me that if my boyfriend was like that, then I should get rid of him.. and he asked who the other guy was. I told him I couldn't tell him. So I told him it was him (of course). He said that he needed to focus on school and stuff, and that having an "in school" girlfriend would distract him. I thought that was just an excuse.. wouldn't you think that? So I told him, "you dont have to say stuff like that. If you really don't like me like that, then just tell me. Don't make up excuses though." and he replied "well, if you think about it, I'm saying the opposite." He told me that he thought I was cute, but he had to get to know me better before anything happened... and I understood that. And then when I had to go, he said "goodnight cutie(:" which was cute of him to say.. OH JEEZ. Tuesday. The most complicated day. He kept looking at me and smiling at me in lunch, right? Then I started talking to him afterschool on facebook (again). He talked to me, but then after a while he just ignored me. Long story short, my boyfriend ended up dumping me that day. I told "steve" "Look I dont know if you're busy or anything, but I really need someone to talk to. Could we talk? Please?" He didn't say anything for the rest of the day. Wednesday.. he still looked at me in school. Then on facebook, we talked then he ignored me.. again. Thursday.. he did not look at me at all. Of course, we talked on facebook for a while, then he ignored me. Big surprise there. I had this idea. I told myself that I'd just give him his space for a few days, you know, so he didn't get annoyed. I didn't talk to him on friday or saturday. Then on sunday, when I logged onto facebook, I saw he had blocked me. (I have my ways of finding out). I didn't understand. My relationship was over just because this asshole that told me he liked me told me to end it. Then after he tells me he likes me, he just ignores me. We have a mutual friend, "steve" and I. Lets call him billy. (his name is billy). He's been my friend for a while, so I knew I could trust him. I told him everything that had happened. He told me that if "steve" talked to me for that long on saturday and did all those silly status things, then he must like me, because he doesnt waste him time with/for just anybody. Then, billy asked "steve" if he liked me or not. "steve" told billy he didn't like me. Then billy told me that they don't really talk about girls that much anyways... they're not "best" friends. billy also told me that "steve" doesnt really tell a lot of people who he likes. I just don't understand though. We talk for hours. He flirts with me. He stares at me. He spends his time talking to ME. He tells me he likes me. The next day, he ignores me. He doesnt look at me. He tells his friend he doesnt like me. He blocks me. Did I miss something?? Note: none of his friends know what his deal is. Hes not the kinda guy that normally lies to girls like this.

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bakahaido answered Sunday April 3 2011, 1:52 am:
a pretty long story. im sorry if im being rude or hurtful, but i think he's just messing with you. he's probably starting to like you (hence the fb statuses), but your enthusiasm probably freaked him out. especially when you just broke up with your then-bf, after you just insinuated that you're choosing between your bf and steve. he might think that you're willing to dump your bf after just a few chats with him.
looking at you during lunch is a good sign. i bet he still thinks you're cute. maybe he's just the type of guy who likes a chase. i say, do a 180. act uninterested, dont ask around about him, pretend you dont care about him anymore. sooner or later, he will remember how to unblock people on fb. good luck :).

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xomegaroni answered Tuesday March 15 2011, 8:15 pm:
Men are just confusing. He might have felt that he couldn't pursue things with you because you had a boyfriend at the time yet you were flirting with him. Meaning if he was your boyfriend then he'd be afraid you'd flirt with other guys. He might also just be the type that likes flirting but doesn't really want to have a relationship with anyone. Give him his space. If he wants to talk to you, he will. It was immature of him of blocking you on Facebook but don't return that immaturity by chasing him down and bothering him.

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lovealways1221 answered Tuesday March 15 2011, 6:45 pm:
wowzers thats a big story.

it seems like he could be playing hard to get. which means he's trying to make you go crazy over him.

or it could be true, that he doesn't like you. He could have liked you in the beginning but then changed his mind. people change their minds. sometimes fast. he could be one of those guys who is interested for a while, then changes his mind and loses interest.

or possibly he could think you're too much drama. i mean, you did just get out of a relationship. in my opinion, when a person gets out of a relationship and then starts looking for another one right after that.. it usually means they're desperate or needy. he could just not be interested in those kinds of girls.

whatever the reason is.. you need to talk to HIM about it. not billy. not anybody else. HIM. instead of facebook chat, CALL HIM. just let him know whats on your mind. say something like "hey you're really confusing me. can you please just let me know how you feel about me.. i dont want to be lead on"

if you dont have the nerve to talk to him about it, you should give him his space. (2 days is not enough.. you need to give him minimum 1 week, maximum 2 weeks of space) he might be confused just as much as you are. space and time will allow him to get his thoughts straight. after you give him space, then slowly start to talk to him more. let him know you miss him. you miss talking to him. say what's on your mind and dont hold anything back.

if he does say he's uninterested.. i say move on. no guy is worth all that drama and trouble. you can find a guy who will adore you and wont lead you on like that.

also, don't be afraid to fly solo. you mentioned- "But I was afraid that if I lost my boyfriend over "steve" then "steve" wouldn't like me and I'd end up alone. " which is exactly what happened.. dont be afraid to be alone.

being single is nothing to be ashamed of. you can do so many things when you're single, which you can't do when you're in a relationship. use your single time to explore yourself. figure out what your interests are. try new things like new sports or hobbies and discover yourself.

actually, i was kinda like you about 3 years ago. i was so scared of being single. there was so much pressure on me to be in a relationship and i rushed it with my first boyfriend. so take my advice, be proud to be single. its really not that bad :)

inbox me if you have more questions. i'm here to listen!!

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