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St.Louis, MO

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21

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January 26, 2005

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May 1, 2014

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about

My name is Teza.. short for Tereza. I was born in Croatia and I speak more than one language. I'm 22 years old & I completed 2 college degrees in 3 years. My a bachelors is in Business Administration concentration in Human Resources and my Masters degree is also in HR.

I started this advice column about 9years ago and I was so young but it was something that I always loved to do. I am trying to get back to answering questions, at least a few per day. With that said, if you have questions about school, friends, make up, etc., feel free to ask.

Much love, Teza

advice

Even though school hasn't started yet and homecoming is ages away, I feel like I won't be able to find a dress if I don't start looking early. I'm usually disappointed by what department stores have to offer and appalled by the immense amount (or apparent absence) of spandex and glitter in dresses from smaller stores. Does anyone know where I can find a nice form-fitting dress that isn't too short or low-cut?

P.S. low-mid price range please :)

I always find my dresses at Forver 21 and Charlotte Russe. I'm not sure if they will have many dresses right now because it isn't the right season but they deffently have some. Start looking now and if you come across one, buy it. They aren't expensive or anything and they're super cute.

In your own personal opinion, could you please tell me whether or not I'm suited to be a model?

http://a555.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/68/l_65b79c8cae81f557eea3af183969c0b2.jpg

http://a907.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/84/l_e86e91e169984f9c9fccc32a860503a2.jpg

http://a375.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/19/l_0d29c5e1b6d363286b0332a656fdc13e.jpg

In all honesty please. My feelings don't get hurt easily. Constuctive criticism will be taken well.

I perosonally think that you have very good potential to become a model. I can't really see your face very well but you deffently have a models face and you should go for it.

okayy i really need advice asap. okay so theres this girl who now goes to my school this year & shes a sweetheart and were friends. Were not like super close but i love her to death. So theres this guy at my school that is just gorgeous & i really like him. We hung out and all that & i really connected with him. Well when i came home i found out that the girl that i'm friends with went out with him for about a year off and on. She was upset with me and cried so muchh. Like she told me she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore cause it hurts her too much and she thinks i don't care about her. i talked to her and all that but she decided not to be friends. When one of my friends get mad at me, like everyone does and i'm so scared of that. I know your gonna say well then their not real friends but idk, just bare with me lol.anyways - Well the guy i like says he really likes me & don't even like his ex girlfriend anymore but shes still head over heels for him. I offered to stop talking to him and shes like NOO i don't wanna make your life shitty, please just get to know him & leave me out of it. I really don't know what to do. When i hung out with him the other dayy, i didn't wanna leave. Hes so cute & sweet and ahh i just like him alott. So what do i do? The girl i was friends with said shed get overr it eventually but i don't want the whole world hateing me because of this. For one its not their business and two, i can't stop who i likee even when i didn't know they datedd. i'm so shooken up over this situation. My best friend is also friends with this girl and i'm so afraid she`ll turn on me after she said she really wouldn't. I'm so scared. And i feel so bad that i did this to the girl but i don't know what to do. should i stop talking to him? should i just let her get used to it, or get over it ? please help me alma. - i know you, & your one truthful person. Just give me advice on what you would do if you were in my place. thnk you so much.

I can understand why that girl is upset and hurt but shes making a big deal of out nothing. She doesn't understand that you didn't know about them two before and besides, they're broken up and she needs to accept the fact that he will be with other people. I personally don't think that she will turn on you but your best friends will stay on your side if they understand the situation. Don't stop talking to this guy or hanging out with him. It's not your fault and you did nothing wrong and don't feel bad about it. & you are right, it is none of their buisness about who you're with or what you do. You need to talk to this girl again and explain to her that you didn't mean to hurt her and that you didn't know about it and honestly, even if you did it still shouldn't matter. You need to make yourself happy and not think about who's going to hate you or what they will say. & it's okay lol.. next time just type my name instead. I was kind of lost but oh well.

i was bummed we dont have classes this semester but i still see him sometimes. well anyway, i have having the WORST day EVER and then he acted like he didnt even know me in the hallway? so i was even MORE crushed...then i was walking after a class and saw him and thought maybe i'd give it another shot so i sped up really fast lol but i didnt say anyting and he whispered "kayla" and first i looked the other way (because i didnt want to seem TOO eager right? haha) and then he was just being so nice to me and asked me how my classes were. and i smiled for the REST of the day lol. does he still like me? what does that mean?

I'm not sure if he still likes you.. but it was nice of him to say hi and ask you about your classes and such. Next time he doesn't say hi or anything, don't get bummed out. I tend to ignore people in the halls and not even realize it because my mind is somewhere else. So instead, say hi to him first and show some interest in him.

So i used to go out with this kid, and i was really attracted to him and I really liked him a lot. We didn't see each other for like 2 weeks because i had camps. He started telling people that he might dump me for this other girl. So I dumped him. He ended up not even liking the girl & now he's still single. He just imed me out of the blue today, and we were back to normal as friends i guess. I wanna know if this means he might be interested in me again, and also how do i bring up what happened between us so I can know the truth & stuff? I wanna bring it up kinda of discreetly. Thanks :)

Just because he started talking to you again does not mean that he wants to go back out, but it could mean that he's still interested in you since he never liked that other girl in the first place. Next time you guys talk, just bring it up. Say something like I have a question.. and just ask him and you guys will start talking about it. I hope everything works out. Let me know what happens.

heyy! i was looking through your whole advise colum and you really do give greatttt advice! =D... ok well.. im 13 years old. female. and i weigh 87 1/2 pounds. i recently went to the drs for a physical. and i weighed 90 pounds the year before. so i lost about 4 1/2 pounds. and im kinda worried. bc i play soccer and feild hockey. and with the season starting soon. im going to be veryyyyy active. and ill prob. be losing more weight.

and what gets on my nerves alot is people call me anoerxic alot. esp. the boys. & and i dont think im fat or anything. and im defffffff. not anoerxic. and right now its summer and wen i wear a bathing suit in front of them my hip bones really stick out. and i think its kinda weird.. but some of my friends say it looks cute.lol.... and yesterday i went clothes shopping.. and i used to be able to fit into aero 00 jeans good. and now i dont. the legs are like really baggy. but i found that hollister jeans fit me now..

but my main question is do you think for being 87 1/2 lbs. 13 years old is really skinny?

How tall are you? I think you are a bit underweight and if you think that you're too skinny, do something about it. Try to gain weight in a healthy way. Eat proteins and everything that you need. For those guys that call you anorexic, ignore them. They're just being immature.

Im 14 years old, and I recently went on vacation. While i was away, i got a call from a friend telling me that my boyfriend was going to the movies with another girl. This girl LIED straight up to my face saying that nothing was going on with them, and nothing would ever happen. But then, I called him and he broke up with me, FOR THE GIRL!!! and they started dating 2 days after.
So i was really hurt. When i got home, he hated me, and i couldnt figure out why! Then he started to talk to me, and I was really happy. To the point to where he started calling me again! Then I find out that my friends were having him talk to me, when he really didnt want to. So i was really hurt too. We got into a huge fight, and the next day he left me a comment on myspace saying to go on AIM because he wanted to talk to me. but then i didnt go on because i was at a friends house. I wrote a comment back, saying, why would you want to talk to me?! you hate me remmeber that? or wait is someone MAKING you talk to me again? but he never answered. I don't know if i still like him or not. I don't think I do, but then again, I feel like I do. I haven't talked to him in two days, and it bothers me everyday. I dont know what to do, can you help me?!
THANKS SO MUCH!!

Sorry that it took me so long so answer your question. Anyways, forget about this guy. He's a jerk and you shouldn't even worry about what he thinks or if he talks to you. He's selfish for hurting you in the first place and for hating you for no reason. Your friends shouldn't make him talk to you but they were only trying to make you happier because it's what you wanted. Even though you may have some left over feelings for him, don't be upset. It's best for you to move on and find yourself a better guy who wouldn't do that to you. Don't rush yourself to get over him. It'll happen on it's own. Good luck with everything.

My mom brother and I are all under one cellphone plan of tmobile. My brother has text messaging. He gets like a certain amount a month. I dont. My mom went to go pay the bill online and it said it was $900! I know! I think it might be from all my texting (since im not covered) My brother trys to blame it on me. My question is could it be from all my texting ? is that possible? and also my mosm warned me several times about texting so im defiantly going to get introuble if the bill is from all the texting ive done. What should i do?! I only have like $ 250 in the bank. AS of right now she thinks it must be a mistake or something. But im so scared!

$900 dollars is way too much for texting, especially for just a month. Do you know how much texts you've used up? It's best if you call t-mobile and ask them. Sometimes they do mess up and put wrong things on your bill. It happened to me. They will open up your account and explain to you how many texts you have used and exactly why your bill is so high. Try talking your mom into letting you get text messaging. It's $5 a month for 400 and just $10 for 1,000 a month. You could even pay for that with your own money.. monthly though.

13/f (I am going to use nicknames)

So, I have a friend, Murray. She and I hate this girl, S. S and I used to be friends with Murray. Well, I'm not friends with S, but with Murray. Murray said she hated S like me because S did rude things to me and her. Well, S called and invited me to her B-Day party Friday. i said I was busy because I was, Murray was coming over so we could watch Naruto. Murray said we should go to S's B-Day party because she said that S had changed. Now, I am so confused. First, Murray hates S, now she wants to be her friend! I never trusted S and my parents don't like her. Neither does my boyfriend. I want to know what to do at this point. Murray keeps sayign I have done bad things to S to make S do bad things to me. I did not. I did bad things to her after S did bad thigns to me. It's called revenge! I JUST NEED HELP!!!!!!

If it helps, I kinda used S after we got in a fight. I was going to use her to get some money cuz she shares money with friends all the time. Murray was in on it too, until she got her bad feeling. Now, I am confused. Please help!

Thank you!
Izzy Uchiha &hearts

Friends get into fights all of the time but if you truly dis-like S, don't be her friend just because Murray is. It's not fair. Using S for money and other things is wrong and selfish but that's on you. People do change and maybe you could give S another chance and let her prove to you that she is a better friend. Forget about the useless drama and stupid fights because it will get you guys no where.

So, recently, my friend, let's call her Kayla, talked me into starting to go to a youth group with her. It was the first time for the both of us. Then, I decided to invite my best friend, Melody. Well, we started going, and go figure, there was a mighty cute boy. Well, Melody knew this boy, and they talked often. And, Kayla and I were just to shy to talk to him. Then after going a couple times, Kayla had gotten to know him pretty well. They had talked on the phone a couple times, and talked in person. But, I, being the shy one, hadn't gotten around to talking to him in person or even on the phone. Sure, we talked on myspace, and he seemed almost interested in me. Before he and I even started talking, he asked Melody what my name was, and asked if I would come next week. He said I was kinda cute, and he kinda liked me. Eventually we became friends on myspace. And so began the messages. Well, finally, a couple days ago when Kayla and I went to the movies/mall, she called and invited...let's call him Collin. Well, he came, and imagine how awkward that was. Did i mention Kayla and I both liked him? And it had been a couple weeks since he told me he kinda liked me, so I didn't know if that still stood. Not to mention, only a month ago, he got out of a eight month relationship. And he tells me he's trying to be friends with his ex, and whatnot. She even came with him to youth one night. And, she wants him back. But, he told me he wants to move on. And he never says cute things to Kayley like he does to me. Like the other night, he said I was awkward, and I said I hated it, and he said it was kinda cute. And at the movies the other day, he would flirt a lot. But, still, on his top eight on myspace, his ex is number one, and then Kayla is fifth, and I'm sixth. I'm so beyond confused with this kid. I make it so obvious, but he never says a word or seems to show that he knows...

When someone gets out of a long term relationship, they are still in contact with their ex so I'm sure that you can understand why him and his ex girlfriend are "trying" to become friends. Maybe he hasn't fully gotten over her but he is making an effort on moving on and he's interested in you. It seems like he is still trying to get to know you and talking and the more you guys talk, the more he is attracted to you. & about MySpace.. don't take it personally that you're the 6th one. He might be shy to tell you how he really feels and he might be afraid of rejection. Just keep talking to him more and hang out. Then he will realize that you truly are into him and maybe when he's ready he's ready he'll make a move. Good luck with everything and I hope it works out.

i dont know if this is wierd or not. when i masturbate i sit on one spot in my room every time. and what happens on that spot, stays on that spot. am i wierd?

thanx

You're not weird. You're just used to that certain spot and that's fine. ;)

okay well i got my haircut about half a month ago.
it pretty much in the cut that i wanted, but its sooo much shorter than i hoped it would turn out! =(

im kind of thinking about getting extensions.
not the glue on ones, the clip on ones.

how much do they usually cost? i know some can be really cheap, but are they good?

and is it noticable that they're clip on extensions? my hair doesn't ever straighten pin straight. and i thought it might look noticable?
can they fall out easily?

also, where can i get some good not too pricey ones?
i live in missouri & i dont know of any gooood places. websites would be highly appreciated as well as places.

if it helps im kind of going for this look:

http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j90/alyssal1366/audrey44.jpg

ignore the box.

please and thank you so so much

I was thinking of getting clip in extentions as well so I asked my friend about it because she uses them. We also live in Missouri and she got hers at Sally Beauty. Hers are made out of 100% human hair and they can be washed, ironed, curled.. you name it. They were about $70 dollars but it also depends on the lenght. They do not fall out and they're not noticable if you put them in correctly.

when you have sex for the first time, unprotected sex, is there a chance you can get pregnant???

If you have unprotected sex, there is always a chance of getting pregnant weather it may be your first time or your 50th. Always use a condom.

so i dont wanna have sex with a person cause i cant but i do want the pleasure. i also want it to hurt and i mean realy bad. what can i do?? and again i dont want a person there. all help is appricated.

I'm going to guess that you're a female? If you don't want a person there, masturbate. You gous buy a vibrator and it would pleasure you the way that you need. You can also use other objects but I would suggest staying safe and just using a vibrator or your fingers.

My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex sometime soon.. within the month. We are both 16 + virgins and we are going out to buy condoms together. I'm also on birth control, have been for nearly 5 months and I'm excited for sex.

Is that strange of me? I'm actually looking forward to it and I feel really comfortable about it too. Most of my friends didn't feel like this before their first time.. so i feel out of place.
:/

It's not strange at all. Be proud that you're doing this because you're actually ready for sex with someone that you trust. More people should wait until they're comftrable and ready.

Firstly, I should say that I really, really like my boyfriend. [Even if I can't remember why, like right now]. But I am really, really upset with him because he's been bailing on me for the last few nights when he promised me he'd see me. The problem is, we can't see each other on weekdays due to conflicting schedules so we try to see each other on weekends, even if it's just for lunch or something. But lately it just seems like he doesn't even remember me. And this is all at a horrible time, too, because I just met another guy who wants me to just ignore the fact that I have a boyfriend and get with him. I don't want to get with him. All I want is for my boyfriend to care, or even be jealous of this other guy, but he isn't even around. In fact, I talk to the other guy more than I talk to my boyfriend, because he actually makes the "effort" to talk to me, even if it's just a text message. My boyfriend just seems to think that he doesn't need to.

I guess my main question is how do I get my boyfriend to care? I don't want the other guy, I only want him. I just want him to make an effort. I want him to know that he isn't the only one who wants me, and I want him to stop taking me for granted, but I don't want to tell him straight up because he might think I'm overreacting and that would only make things worse. Even if I have to tell him, what should I say?

The best thing for you to do is to tell him everything that you just typed. Call him up or message him and let him know you want to go meet somewhere so you can talk. If you both honestly can't, try talking on the phone although I would suggest you meet in person. Explain to him why you need to talk to him and just be honest and let him know how you feel. He's not making an effort to talk to you, see you, or anything and there might be a reason for that. Maybe there's a chance that he's talking to another girl.. or there is a family situation. Whatever it may be, he shouldn't shut you out. If you do talk to him and he continues his ways, it's best to end it even though you may like him a lot.

It’s all about my ol bff kut. I live pon and zi and he fought with my other friend on who was my penguin. Talked about my favorite songs. But ive never told him my favorite songs. But its all on my page ive been telling him to get. Then I stayed at my friend’s house for a week and her cousin Jon was gona too but he invited kut and I came out in all out gothic and he left and wouldn’t look or talk to me.hes now afraid of my best friends and I but still talks to me. Then theirs some parties. 1.Airsoft him showing off us running thought the rainstorm got on teams and he said only if I can be on their team. The team I was on. Big flirts then it went to hell he asked me out I said no…2.school concert we played games like red hands but ended up holding both hands lol. Then a lot of our friends sat at one end of the room sitting on top of each other and kut kept lookin over at me umm sitting and laying up on my guy friend and other people us all with 3 ipods singing haha there was 17 people. And then my friend told me I should get off him. Then teachers came over we all got introuble 3.carnival kut ignored me as I sat with some friends older guys…at midnight away from everyone on the kp playground. Then we all went on rides this was guys and girls. 4. pool parties kut stared at me as I noticed I was sitting up against my other guy friend then I moved. But then some of my friends and I got ina water fight 2 guys and 2 other girls. Then I told kut to join us and then kut got pissed at my friend for grabbin me um same guy I was flirtin with and sittin by.AND. me and kut over aim once I was Xtremely depressed and I said I don’t wana talk to you and that’s when I started the cutting. Then he never got on for over a week then he finally did and I was So SORRY he forgave me but wanted to know what was wrong I don’t know what I said my friend was helping me shes the only one who knows my episodes and how much I cut. And inbetween all this theirs him ignoring me and us flirting and hating and talking and not. He wont even talk over aim well 2 words to every 20 of mine? I don’t know what can I do what happened. One person I didn’t know and 2 of my friends said he was a jerk Im just so confused.what do I do? does he love me as a friend or best friend or ramantic? ..or does he hate me?i asked him if he loved me he said yes but 3rd. ive known him my whole life.
13/f

I would love to answer your question but you honestly don't know how to type properly. For one, your queustion makes no sense. You jump from topic to topic and I don't know what you're even asking me. Using periods and question marks would be very useful. Sorry that I can't answer it but if you really need help, re-post your question with better grammar.

ok theres this guy.. i know he likes me bc hes told me b4. but like i dont like him back. he like calls & texts me every night.. and i havent told him whether i like him or not. when he told me i just said ok bc i didnt know what else to say.. i was kinda suprised. but anyways.. is it wrong to like answer his calls & texts & like talk to him every night if i dont like him? i feel like im leading him on. bc wen were on the phone all he does is flirt with me. and like i still wanna be friends w/ him i just dont wanna go out w/ him

It's not wrong that you answer his phone calls and texts. You're treating him like a friend. If you haven't told him that you don't like him as more than a friend by now, you need to or else he will get the wrong idea. Don't worry about hurting his feelings or being rude. He needs to know the truth and let him know that being friends is all that you two are going to be. Hopefully he'll understand.

i love birds but i cant stop eating chicken b/c it tastes so good. is that bad? to eat your favorite animal? i know theres like species of bird but i like birds in general but still..

Don't feel guilty. I used to have a bird but I still ate chicken. It's normal so don't feel bad about it.

i've been in love with this boy for many months now, even over the summer i never stopped thinking about him...and i saw him a couple days ago..i think he MIGHT'VE looked my way..i feel so weird..should i just give up?? 15 female and how can i move on?
you give AMAZING advice! i love reading your column

Why should you give up on someone that you haven't really talked to or tryed anything? If he looked your way, great! It gives you more motivation to talk to him and don't be shy to do so. You never know where things could go from there. Start of as friends and hang out and then it might develop onto something else. & thank you :)

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