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if you have braces and kiss someone else with braces, is there a possibility you can get stuck together? (link)
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You'd have to really, really be trying hard to make that happen. Ideally, when one is making out, the teeth don't come into contact; this would be very uncomfortable even when those involved don't have braces.
The only way for the two of you to get hooked together is if you were both wearing your headgear as well.
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I VALUE YOUR OPINION: Lucy was sitting at the dining room table with her cousin Patsy. Patsy turned to Lucy and said: Lucy you are a size in 8 in clothes; Lucy said; Yes I am, why; Patsy replied; I THOUGHT YOU ARE a size 8. I am cleaning out my bedroom closet, however, I couldnt remember if you told me you are a size 8 or 10.; The next day Lucy told her friends what her cousin said and asked; do you think my cousin thinks I am higher than a size 8; All her friends said to her; Lucy no your cousin does not think you are a higher than a size 8; MY QUESTION: Do you agree with Lucys friends?
(link)
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Yes. Why would they lie about something so trivial?
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Okay, so I've been wondering about something & I wanted to hear you guys opinions.
My boyfriend & I have been together for five years & we are both twenty one. I love him, I'm in love with him & there is no one else I'd rather be with. We're still young so we don't really talk about marriage but here & there we do say things like "when we get married..." & stuff like that. The other day when we were together we were talking about weddings & how my culture's weddings differ from his & he said he'd want to get married at a court house because it doesn't cost a lot. Then he said or he'd want to get married on an island & only our close relatives would be invited, like his mom & my mom. I know I want to marry him in the future & I've never straight up asked him "do you wanna marry me" but I think, well, if he's been in a relationship this long with me doesn't that obviously mean something? Like apparently he wants a future with me if he's been by my side for five years now? But then again I think, just because we've been together for so long doesn't mean marriage is definite, you know?
So my question is, do you guys think that when a couple has been together for so long that it means marriage is in the future? Are people in long relationships because they want to get married eventually? Ugh, in my head I know what I'm trying to ask but I can't seem to get it out the way I want it to but I guess these questions will do. Haha. Thanks for reading this & all opinions are appreciated! (link)
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I can give you Sabine's story from the other side. See, I'm the guy she married.
In my case, the reason why I needed a nudge to ask her to marry me (and it really was more a mutual decision) was because it simply didn't occur to me on its own. I felt like I was still a very young guy (I've always felt younger than I am) and that marriage just wasn't in my immediate future. I was also pretty comfortable with our relationship as it was, and didn't feel a great push to change things.
When she said "I won't be your girlfriend forever" it got me thinking seriously about whether I WANTED it to be forever, and the more I thought about it the more I came to realize that I did. This was someone I loved very much, who I would be pleased and proud to call my wife, who I shared much in common with. We shared a common morality and ideals. I knew she would be a wonderful mother. We appreciated each others' sense of humor. We had great sex. We had problems, but we could deal with them. I married her and have never regretted it.
These are the kinds of things a guy will start thinking about when the idea of marriage becomes a reality instead of an abstraction. It seems to me that the two of you have been talking about WEDDINGS, which is very, very different from talking about MARRIAGE. In order to find out whether the two of you really will make it for the long term, you need to think about how you'll be after the honeymoon. You'll need to talk about how you'll support yourselves and live independently, how many children you want and how you'll raise them, where you will live and work and go to church, and what's really important to you in the long run. You'll need to think about the joys that come during all of your lives yet to come, and whether you can live with this guy for sixty-plus years without wanting to kill him.
When you're talking about THAT stuff, then you're talking about marriage. Until then, you're just in a long-term relationship. If you can't sit down and discuss what will really happen when you share your lives together, then one or both of you isn't ready for marriage - and if that's the case after five years, you probably never will be.
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17/m well ive being goin out w this girl for like a few months and we have had sex alot of times and she thinks she might be pregnant but i also heard that she was sleepin w some other guy who i dont really know so the kid could be his what should i do? should i take care of the kid even though it might not be mine or what (link)
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Everything about your question is uncertain. She "might be" pregnant, and you "heard" that she was having sex with someone else. You need to figure out some facts before making any decisions.
First, get a home pregnancy test and insist that she make use of it. Watch the results appear for yourself. Those things aren't foolproof, but they're a start.
If there remains a question about it, then she should see a doctor and find out for certain. You deserve to know the results; don't let her hide them from you.
There is also the issue of her possibly sleeping around. It may be just a rumor; do you have any evidence? In any event, this is also something you deserve to know about, because these days promiscuous behavior is life-threatening.
If she is pregnant, and if you have reason to suspect it's not your child, you can and should have a paternity test done. I'd say that you are under no obligation whatsoever to care for a child that isn't yours. Don't let your name appear on the birth certificate unless you are SURE.
Finally, remember that one of the potential complications of sex is unplanned pregnancies. If you're unprepared to deal with that possibility, then you really shouldn't be having sex in the first place. That's just a fact of life.
Bottom line: Find out what's really going on before you do anything. These are important matters, and you shouldn't make rash decisions based on uncertain evidence.
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One of my closest friends told me something about themselves, and it's like, really dark, most people wouls stop being friends with another because of this.
But, I accept it, she's still my friend, who i would do anything for.
She's afraid I'm lying about accepting it because her Ex-BF said he did then broke up with her a few months later, calling her an inhumane monster without a trace of a soul.
So she's afraid I'm going to do the same.
I've known this Person for almost 10 years now, she got me through some of the toughest times of my life, and for a logn time, we were each others only friend, I lvoe her like family, and I'm not sure how to tell her how much her friendship means to me, and How to convince her of the truth; That I still See her as an amzing beautiful person, And i'm always going to there for her. (link)
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Well, you've certainly piqued some curiosity about what this strange, dark secret could be. Without knowing that, it's hard to give you specifics, but here's some generalized advice:
(1) Trust takes time. Presumably, you've given her no reason to mistrust you personally, but whatever this is it's something that she would think any reasonable person would view with horror. She's expecting you to do that in the same way she would expect you to get scared if someone pointed a gun at you. To convince her that you really mean what you say, that you will stick by her, will just take some time.
(2) Don't dwell on it unless you have to. For instance, if her issue is that she's a recovering alcoholic, you should support her by ensuring that she never takes a drink and occasionally congratulate her on doing well. However, if it's something that won't really affect her in most situations, you would be a better friend to just talk about it when she brings it up and lend a supporting ear.
(3) Keep her trust. This is not your secret to tell. The sole exception is if it somehow becomes a threat to others or if she becomes so upset about it that she considers harming or killing herself. That's a judgment call you'll have to face if and when the time comes.
(4) By the same token, keep her trust by never, ever using this against her. Friends will sometimes get angry with each other and say hurtful things - this particular item is off-limits, no matter how angry you get. If her fears are realized and you do turn this against her, even in a small way, that will be the end of your friendship forever.
In the end, though, the only thing that will really show that you still consider her a friend is time.
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Ok! Im going crazzzy! I started talking to this guy online and he told me he liked me and everything. so anyway we were friends but not like real tight or nothing. Anyway me hooked up one tight. just kissed and stuff. and than i got right weird (like i always do) i sorta ignored him for like a week. I dunno y i do that. i havent had many boyfriends or anything. anyhow he called all week and id make up excuses. so than the next week. i realized ye kno i miss this guy and i kinda started to like him a nice bit. and than he started igoring me. bso i asked him like do you want to just b friends. and he said no that he really liked me. and than he still prety much ignored me. ended up banging into him another night and he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me.(we were at a friends house) anyhow he said he had to run sumwhere and hed b back. but he never came back.. and than the next day he left to go to europe on a trip. So im all freaked out. i dunno if he likes me or is just fucking around. or if he possibly just wants to get with people on his trip. and not have to worry bout me being mad and that. its driving me cray cuz i really like him.. Please Help .. before i go totaly wacko (link)
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You kissed him, then blew him off for a week and made lame excuses insofar as why you couldn't see him.
Here's what happened: you hurt his feelings. What you saw as "just kissing and stuff" probably meant a lot to him, and when he tried to pursue a relationship with you further, you pushed him away without explanation. That's really painful! And he's not going to thank his lucky stars just because you suddenly start returning his calls after a week.
I'm guessing he was ready to throw in the towel and stop calling, and then suddenly you made an about-face. He then saw a chance to give you a taste of your own medicine. Basically, he's getting revenge.
It's very likely that his friends encouraged him to play it this way. He probably told them about you, and they were like, "Dude, she's not worth agonizing over." Then, when you suddenly made a turnaround and started showing interest, they said, "You've got a golden opportunity - kiss her again right before your Europe trip and then leave without saying anything. That'll TOTALLY freak her out!"
And, of course, it's working.
Whether the two of you can form a real relationship will depend on whether you can both start acting a little more grown-up. You need to say you're sorry for blowing him off at moment one, and he needs to then apologize for going a little overboard with the payback. If you tell him that you were just confused about your feelings and needed a little time, he'll probably understand (and if he doesn't, then he's being needlessly bitter and vindictive and you should set your sights elsewhere).
You're definitely off on the wrong foot, but if you can start being honest and up-front with each other, there's still a chance. The really hard part will be getting his friends to like you; if I'm right about their involvement, they view you as a heartbreaker, and they won't accept you easily.
If you choose to pursue this, good luck. You're going to need it.
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ok so i have a lot of guy friends. i dunno if they are in love with me .....hehe
and every single mother of those guys hate me. i don't get it. is it cuz i'm a girl or what?
i'm not in love with any of these guys , and i never flirt with them or something like that. we just hang out cuz i get along with guys much better then with girls. (link)
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You've told us absolutely nothing about yourself, so how can we even guess at what your friends' moms don't like about you?
The only thing I can think of is that maybe they see you as some kind of deviant. If you hang out exclusively with guys and have no female friends... well, that's unusual, and people will wonder why you do it. Left to their own devices, who knows what kind of answers they're coming to?
Without more information, though, it's impossible to give you a meaningful answer.
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I'm a 25-year old New Yorker who generally enjoys her life - I have a great job, good friends and lots of hobbies. However, my on-again/off-again boyfriend of 3 years makes me too miserable to enjoy all this.
During the times we've been together and the times we've been far apart (I went away to grad school last year, and meanwhile he took a job in Boston) there has been incredibly intense passion between us. We fight and cry, but our resolutions are amazingly intense as well. Our 'downs' usually result from his being unhappy (he is quite unhappy and critical by nature) and taking it out on me; however, this makes the 'ups' feel so good... like I've won him over or something. In recent years, he's done things like moving all the way back to NY to be with me, before backing out and deciding that to be with me would be 'unfair to me'. Sometimes we date, sometimes we just sleep together, sometimes we don't talk for months. The roller coaster is an intense and heartbreaking ride. I know deep down that a good relationship should be more stable, and that he is too messed-up be able to give me that. But I am also addicted to his drama and passion, and I love him - I find myself wanting to stick with him until he is well enough to treat me right.
I'm sure it sounds as if I already know what I need to do - and I do, intellectually. But it's been years and I just can't seem to internalize that understanding. My emotions just won't comply. I was truly in love with him - and now I stay up at night depressed that being in love doesn't really mean anything. I miss him terribly and cry nearly every day; I can't take other men that I date seriously. I really need words of wisdom to help me free myself from this mess.
Thank you...
(link)
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It is difficult for me to answer your question, as it is outside my experience. I've only ever had two serious relationships in my life, and neither of them were anything like what you describe. As my first piece of advice, I recommend you post this question to the general board.
Here's the essential problem: you grew up, and your relationship didn't. The relationship you started with was an immature one - and that's not necessarily a bad thing! Many relationships start off as "young love" which is more selfish and thoughtless than a more "grown-up" kind of love, but it is also very exciting and wonderful. As a relationship matures, the excitement level inevitably drops, the peaks and valleys level out, and some of the passion goes out of it - and that's something that some people just don't want to let happen, especially if it's been REALLY exciting, like yours obviously was.
Now, however, I think you're starting to realize that it can't last for long that way. Roller coasters are fun, but they go in circles. You seem ready to move on and actually go somewhere, and it would seem that he hasn't reached that point yet.
Basically, you need to figure out whether he ever will, and how long you'll have to wait for it. Maybe he can get his act together, but men have a certain characteristic that women do not always have: they will stick tenaciously with their habits until compelled to change them. He's not necessarily remaining immature because he CAN'T grow up; it probably hasn't even occurred to him to try, because it's working for him at the moment.
One way or another, you have to move on from the relationship you had. It is not sustainable, and left unchecked the bad times will get worse and the good times will get fewer. You can either leave him and move on, or you can ask if he's willing to change. It's a fair thing to ask - too many people seem to think that it's somehow wrong to expect someone to change for you, when it reality we must all change a little in order to make love work between two people. No couple has ever been totally compatible in all ways just the way they are.
Don't go back to him so that you can have things the way they were. Go back to him only if you are both willing to try and make things different. If either or both of you can't do that, then don't go back to him at all. Time will heal your heartbreak.
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I grew up in a Catholic family and always hated going to church. Stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down, kneel, stand up sit down. So boring and predictable.
Then I quite going to church for many years. I then tried some Christian church that was HUGE. They played music the whole time, which was alright. The sermon was OK to, but being raised a Catholic I wasn't comfortable with holding my hands up in the air and all these ministries and expectations.
I'm totally turned off by the conservative George Bush right wing religion thing to. I don't want to preach and I hate having people preaching AT me.
What are my options? Buddhism? Jewish? (link)
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A religion isn't something you do for entertainment value. Religion is about what you believe to be true, not what you believe to be fun.
By all means, investigate a variety of beliefs and consider carefully whether any of them speak to you. It is an important decision that should also be an informed one. You may never find an ideal belief system for yourself, but there is value in the search for truth even if you never reach a destination.
For myself, I finally found wisdom and truth in the principles of Humanism. As far as I'm concerned, that's the "Best" religion. I wish you well on your quest, but remember what it is you're looking for. If you're searching for personal meaning and purpose, you may well find it in religion. If you're searching for a good time, join a club instead of a church.
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If you let something go and if it comes back it was yours to begin with. do you think its true? (link)
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I think that this sort of wisdom falls under the heading of "bumper sticker". It sounds deep and profound, but it's essentially meaningless.
If you let something go and it comes back to you, it means it came back to you. Nothing more. Don't use this kind of logic to try to hold onto something that you know shouldn't be yours.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5pBN3cE-2A
why is everyone in this video wearing sunglasses? (link)
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Without having watched the video, I'm guessing it takes place in Australia. The southern hemisphere has a large hole in the ozone layer, thus allowing more damaging UV rays through. It is unsafe to spend a lot of time outdoors on a sunny day in Australia without sunglasses.
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I’m sure you would agree with me in me saying drugs are bad, but I’ve made some pretty bad mistakes and I think I may be addicted. For a few months, I’ll say about 7; I’ve been using prescription drugs like hydrocodone and oxycodone. Sometimes I eat them, sometimes I snort them. A friend of mine warned me about addiction, and I’m a little worried that I could be. I’m pretty much an everyday user, and even in school, friends and even teachers tell me I should cool it. I take more and more each time, and when I didn’t have my “fix” I felt horribly sick…I didn’t even wanna go to school. [Usually, I’m pretty good about school, since I got caught skipping it.] I’ve noticed odd symptoms like nausea, headaches, nosebleeds, dizziness, blurred vision, irritability, irrational thoughts, stomach pain…and a lot more. I just don’t want to tell my mom about it, because I told her I’ve been sober since summer. And my brother knows about it, because he uses too, but since I’m younger than him, I’m afraid he’d nark on me or something. My mom doesn’t care when he comes home high, only because he’s an adult. I’m 16 and a girl, so she doesn’t like me doing it, also because of my little sister. I’ve tried to stop, and I did for a long time, but I always get back into it. A friend of mine also told me I was going through withdrawal [when I mentioned sickness]…could I possibly be addicted to opiates? (link)
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Yes, it is entirely possible that you are addicted - I'd say it's a virtual certainty. Everything that you describe is classically symptomatic of drug dependency, and the drugs themselves are indeed ones for which addiction is a risk.
This is a problem that will get worse if you leave it alone.
One problem I see is that you seem to have very little in the way of a real support network. Your mother seems to be of the opinion that it's all right to abuse drugs if one is over 18. This is not a healthy attitude, to say the least. I'm also dismayed to hear that your teachers seem to know that this is going on and have apparently done nothing about it. You should count yourself fortunate that you're smart enough to realize what road you're going down and that it is something to be genuinely frightened of, because the adults in your life sure don't seem to be that smart.
You CAN kick this habit alone, but it will be extraordinarily difficult, especially since the pills will continue to be available to you through your brother's stash - it's not like you can just flush them and not have the temptation around. In order to increase your chances of success, you will need to have some dependable people around you who can help you through the difficult withdrawal symptoms and keep you from relapsing. Find friends you can count on and beg them to help you if that's what it takes. If there is an organization you can look into for drug addicts looking to get sober, do so.
You should also see a doctor. The pills may have done some long-term damage that you will need to know about, and a doctor may also be able to give you some help for getting through the withdrawal. When you see the doctor, tell him EVERYTHING - exactly what you've been taking, how you've been taking it, and in what amounts. He needs to know the whole truth in order to give you the proper advice.
A couple of other things to consider:
(1) I think you'd be doing society a favor if you turn your suppliers in to the police, but get yourself on the path to recovery first.
(2) Don't hide from your little sister what you're going through. She, like you, is being raised in a household where the abuse of drugs is permitted. She, like you, is at risk of becoming an addict. She needs to see the dark side of it or she will likely start popping pills herself.
(3) Your Mom needs a serious wake-up call if she thinks that this kind of thing is permissible at any age. Maybe she can't control what your older brother does, but she is being incredibly irresponsible by not caring about it. Hopefully, you'll someday be in a position to open her eyes and show her the damage she's doing to her kids by being so permissive.
Your life is at stake. I hope you can save it.
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ok im really frustrated right now. is there any way to delete questions that are posted on my advice column? (link)
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No. There used to be, but people were using the feature to artificially inflate their scores (deleting questions for which they got low marks).
The best you can do is edit your response so that it says "X" or something (you can't blank it completely). The question will still be there, but your response won't.
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im 13/f. okay so firstly dont say any of these things:
-you still are going to develop
-give it time
-boob job
-push up/padded bra
-pills
-stuffing
alright so i recently got my period in feb. so i guess that means i'll get boobs over time. ha. kay so i really need some boobs im like speed bumps. i know im still developing but seriously. is there anything i can do to have them actually get bigger. im a 30A and recently went looking for some really good push up bras to make me look bigger at walmart but they didnt fit properly or they didn't really look right (no padding ect). i have a bra now and its like padded and kinda push up, but i need a really good one.
so pretty much..here my questionnss:
-any way i can get my boobs larger not huge but atleast a little bigger
-any good bra places that will have push up/padded bras for the size 30A
-anything else. =]
thanksss.!!!!!!!!!!!!1 (link)
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What's the point of asking for advice if you instruct people not to say any of the things that are actually true?
There is no magic formula for growing breasts. If there were, do you really think it would be kept a secret? It would be advertised on every possible medium until we were all sick of hearing about it! Anyone who came up with such an idea would be able to make a fortune with it.
There is precisely one thing you can do that MIGHT help you get larger breasts. Since breasts are composed largely of fat, all you have to do is start packing on the pounds and get really chubby. Of course, this will also make other parts of you get larger, but after going down your list of "forbidden advice", I find it's all I've got left to offer.
I'm afraid I can't answer your second question (where to shop) but I can answer your third request, which is for "anything else": When you ask someone for advice, it is considered rude to instruct them on what they're not permitted to say. Basically, you're telling people that their advice is only worth something if they tell you what you want to hear. That is a good indicator that you have a lot of growing up to do that has nothing to do with your cup size.
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In response to your feedback...
(1) The reason why you've heard all those things before is because they're all true. If the only facts you are willing to believe are the ones that you want to hear, you will be ignorant all your life.
(2) There are no foods that make your breasts grow. There are no herbs that will make your breasts grow. There is no medicine that makes your breasts grow. Go ahead and eat broccoli because it's good for you, but it will not make your breasts grow. None of what you've heard along these lines is true. Ask your doctor if you want to hear it from someone who knows what he's talking about. If there were an easy way to make your breasts grow, there would be no silicone implants or push-up bras; small-breasted women would just be eating broccoli.
(3) I'm old enough not to care when a whiny little girl gives me a low rating just because I won't tell her what she wants to hear.
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So I have a 1 year old German Shepherd. I love him to death, except, he bites. A lot. And it hurts. :(
Thing is, my brother & dad LET him bite them, so then the dog thinks he can go around biting me, my sister, my mom sometimes, and even my friends.
I've told my brother & dad to STOP letting him bite, but he's just so used to doing it that he won't stop!!!
My dog could be as sweet as pie, but the next minute, he'll start biting. :( It's so sad.
So, what should I do...? Is there anything I COULD do? [Besides taking him to the vet. We don't have any time WHATSOEVER to bring him] (link)
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Whether they're trying to or not, your brother and your dad are doing the best they can to raise a dog who will eventually have to be taken away and put down.
Right now, he's a puppy, he nibbles, and it's adorable. In another year's time, he'll be a nearly fully-grown dog, he'll bite hard, and it will be intolerable. Breaking him of that habit then will be much, much harder than breaking him of it now - if indeed it will ever be possible.
You're all going to have to get together on this, or it won't work. His playful bites will need to be strongly discouraged as of NOW. Otherwise, he will continue to do it and eventually he'll bite someone hard enough that they'll call the police. Then he's living on borrowed time.
To be honest, I'm wondering whether your family can handle this responsibility. You say that you have no time WHATSOEVER to take him to the vet - does this mean he hasn't had his shots? Is he getting the regular check-ups he needs? If not, then someone needs to step up to the plate and make sure it happens, because a dog requires that kind of care. When you do take him in for those necessities, ask your vet about techniques you can use to curb his biting habit. If you have no time to do this, then you do not have enough time to care for a dog properly - do yourselves and the dog a favor and find someone who will.
It is in a dog's nature to bite, especially one such as a German Shepherd which was specifically bred to be a police dog. The reason why many dogs do NOT bite is because people specifically train them not to. If he doesn't learn not to bite people - in other words, if you don't train him - he will pay for it with his life someday. That's what's at stake.
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I HATE my parents and I want to move out SO badly like if I don't I swear to god I'm going to murder my mom thats how bad she is.I have no family in my area that I can stay with but my friend(boyfriend) said I can move in with him for a while to let things cool down...is it legal for me to do that ? (Kitchener Ontario Canada)
[Ps.I'm 13/female] (link)
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At the age of 13, you are the legal responsibility of your parents. That means you can only move in with your boyfriend if they consent, and I somehow doubt that they will.
Furthermore, depending on your boyfriend's age, moving in with him might not be a viable solution. If he is not a legal adult, then it's not his call; his parents will be the ones to decide if you're even invited to live in their home. If he IS a legal adult, then there's an even bigger problem: assuming you move in with him without your parents' consent, he could be charged with kidnapping - EVEN if you went willingly.
In the U.S., you need to be 18 before you can live independently. I'm not sure what the law is in Canada, but I'm fairly certain that it will be a few years before you can legally make your own living arrangements.
I can't help but wonder what is making your home life so intolerable. If you are being abused or neglected, then you need to get some help from an adult who can get you legally removed from a dangerous environment. If this is the case, a school official such as a teacher, counselor, or principal would be a good place to start. (NOTE: Do NOT even consider making a false report along these lines just to get in a shot at your mother. Not only is it dishonest and dishonorable, it makes it harder on kids who really are being abused when they seek help and are not believed.)
If, however, it's a matter of personality clashing or if you have a problem with the way the household is run (and you may indeed have a legitimate complaint), then you have a choice: work toward solving it, or get angrier and angrier over the next few years until you celebrate your eighteenth birthday by walking out the door and never looking back. Consider carefully whether you want to live the rest of your life with that kind of hatred poisoning you. You will find that it's not an easy thing to live with, and that your own children may become victims of it.
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Lets say some astronaut dies on the moon? What would happen to his body?
I mean there are no bacteria, no warms and maggots...so... does that mean he could stay like this forever? (link)
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He would begin to decompose from the inside out, due to the action of stomach acid and bacteria in his gut. However, due to the exposure to radiation and temperature extremes, it's difficult to say what would happen over the long term. Suffice to say it would get pretty gross inside of that spacesuit.
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Okay so this is a little hard to explain. I kind of have a crush on a guy I don't know. He works at my local coffeehouse and we've talk a few times (other than the mandatory, 'what would you like today?') He's a few years older than me.
Basically, I just want to be his friend, for now. I don't know how I could do this, though. Could anyone give me suggestions on how you would go about befriending someone like that?
15/f
If you need more information to give me advice...
AIM = christine iii
MSN = maroulisfan@gmail.com
Thanks a lot. :) (link)
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In order to really make a connection with him, you're probably going to have to meet with him outside his place of work. Most people adopt a slightly different attitude at work than they do when they're on their own time, especially in customer service, because there is a need for a certain degree of professionalism and detachment. To put it bluntly, he's required to smile and tell people to Have A Nice Day even when he hates their guts.
So, if you really want to get to know him, you're going to have to find some way to see him somewhere besides the coffee shop. However, if you're too direct about that, then he will assume that you want a relationship (which I imagine you do, eventually, but you want to start off slow and maybe see if he really is as cool as you think he is). So, what you need to do is just keep chatting with him whenever you go to get coffee. Make it a point to ask him how his day's been, just small talk, but try to make the conversation last a little longer each time. Make yourself his favorite customer, in other words.
Of course, this still doesn't get you outside the coffee shop together. For that, you'll need a little luck and perhaps some good planning. What you need to do is cross his path somewhere outside the shop, and then be totally glad to see him. Depending on where you meet, you could suggest that the two of you have lunch or play frisbee or whatever's appropriate for where you happen to be at the time (suggestion - don't say, "Let's go get some coffee.")
That's how friendships start - by doing things together. And that's how you'll start one with him.
One more thing, though. If you do want this to become something more than friends eventually, don't wait too long! Guys tend to decide fairly early on whether a girl is someone they want to date or not, and if you want to be in the first category, you will need to capture his interest almost from moment one. If he gets the idea in his head that "friends" is all you'll ever be, it will be very hard for you to make the transition later on.
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ok so i need a little help getting myslef on the right path. im only a freshman in highschool. but its right now where you decide your future. and i really dont have any idea what i want to do with my life.. there are many things i am interested in. but im not sure what would really be the best for me. i really want to spend the rest of my life doing something i reallly love. and not something thats just ok.
ok some of the things i think about are fashion design, be a part of some kind of modeling agency.
be a hair stylist. make up artist, just do that kind of stuff. i am reallly creative and im willing to try new things. i also have another side of me i always wanted to be a psychologist.
and then there is the photographer, and graphic designer.
see i go through like these phases first i wanted to be a fashion designer for the longest time. then like graphic designer then psychologist and now its back in the fashion direction. and im really looking for a path that includes all these things. i want to be able to travel and meet new people and just have a good job. any ideas on what career path i should take?
im also a really good writer, but i dont really like it.
thank you (link)
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Anyone who told you that your freshman year in high school is where you "decide your future" didn't have a clue what they were talking about.
You CAN'T decide your future. No one knows what the future brings. This is not to say that you shouldn't make plans or get educated, but be aware that what you decide now may have NO bearing at all on what you do. Take me, for instance - I have a job where I work with computer networks and software applications that didn't even exist when I was in high school. At the time, I wanted to be an English teacher.
It sounds to me like there's a common thread running through all your potential career choices, and that is that you like to create beautiful, appealing things that will stir positive emotions in people and satisfy their sense of aesthetics. My guess is that part of your interest in psychology has to do with being able to figure out what makes people tick so that you can make things that will be appreciated and admired and that people will understand. I would definitely say that some kind of design field would be appropriate for you.
Most design-type jobs are highly sought after because a lot of people like to do that sort of thing. Therefore, if you want to be successful in that area, you will need to really be good at it. You will need to have a diverse background that will include things like cultural studies, geometry, psychology, and art history. A little practical computer knowledge probably wouldn't hurt either, since so much of the design process (any kind of design) is now done digitally. Apply what you learn to your life in simple ways; even arranging the furniture and decor in your own bedroom can be a way to learn about what works and what doesn't.
Generalize now, and focus later. You may eventually discover that the field you want to enter doesn't even exist yet (maybe you'll be a Virtual-Reality Environment Designer, for instance) and so it's pointless to focus on one thing right now. High school is about laying the groundwork.
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i love this boy named james but all my friends wind me up because they know he wont go out wiv me.and they make fun of him and i dont like it cos i really really love him :( (link)
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Your "friends" are being nasty and childish. They are sabotaging any potential relationship you could have with this guy, because no one wants to be made to look like a fool and he knows that's what will happen if he shows any feelings for you.
I'm guessing you must be fairly young, or at least I hope so, because I really can't imagine anyone over the age of fourteen to be acting the way your friends are. Even so, that's no excuse for them to hurt you like this.
I assume you're wondering what to do about the situation. It would be easier to advise you if I knew how old you and James are, but going on the assumption that you're 14 or younger, here's what I think you should do:
(1) As far as a serious relationship, give it time. Even if you are ready, he may not be. Wait until you're at least 15.
(2) Tell him that you have feelings for him (I wouldn't say the words "I love you" because that might scare him off). Try to catch him alone and in a place where your idiot friends won't interfere - that might be hard to do, but you want to make sure his reaction is real and not just for the benefit of whoever else is around. If he's not prepared to return your feelings, then try to take it well and let him know that if he ever changes his mind, you'll be around (for a while, anyway).
(3) Let your friends know that they're hurting your feelings and giving a hard time to someone you care about. Again, it might be most effective to tell them this individually, not as a group. They need to grow up. If their behavior keeps up, react as little as possible; the game will wear thin if they discover they can't get a rise out of you anymore.
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