Hey y'all. I started this whole advice thing cuz i absolutely luv people and giving advice. I'll try to help the best I can with whatever problem you have. I've been through a little of everything so ask away and don't be shy!
E-mail: e.sherhart@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: TEXAS!!!
Occupation: Violinist
Age: 16
AIM: rikatree2375
Member Since: July 29, 2005
Answers: 255
Last Update: September 12, 2006
Visitors: 16334
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
Spirituality
View All
Favorite Columnists
cookierat123
DeeSireDiOr
|
| |
what do i wear? the invite says "dressy casual"?
13/m (link)
|
Maybe like nice dress slacks and a casual but decent shirt. Probably not jeans but it doesn't sound much of a tie thing either. Just do the nice dress slacks and polo shirt..? Well, that's all i could come up with. Hope i helped some!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
So, next year I want to try out for my school's Show Choir. My voice seems ok, but I want to know how to get it better, be able to sing higher notes etc. So, any tips anyone has would be helpful. 5's for good advice. (link)
|
Well, my sister is a national singer so i think i can help here. To improve your range, how high to how low you can go, you want to start by singing basic scales and try to go a little higher each day. Don't stress your voice, just push it a little. Also, try to sing more frequently or get a voice teacher. They can assist you more professionally and help you with your pick of vocal music. But if you can't do that, try singing whenever you can and do the scales. Hope i helped ya and if you have any other musical questions, dont be shy!!! I'm also a violinist!! :)
4Him, Disciple
|
|
im mad b/c these two gurl at my school call me a slut and a whore and stuff like that and i dont know why b/c im really not and on top of that i dont even talk to them so i dont know how they would know anything about me i hate them like really hate them i dont know if i wanna get even with them or just get rid of them any ideas on either way would be helpful please thnx (link)
|
First of all, when other girls call you that crap, they're usually jealous. So girl, just see it as a compliment. I still know it's hard to have to hear that everyday, but if i were you, i wouldnt say anything back. If you call them something mean, they'll only get worse and wont leave you alone. If you want them to get off your back, act like it doesnt affect you. Or even smile really big at them in the hallways. That'll get them to shut up. Believe me, it works. So be patient and nice to them, and they'll get off your back soon. Hope i helped ya!!
4Him, Disciple
|
I was having dinner at a friend's house, and some other peole were thare, and we started talking about the dinner before the homecoming dance.
My friend invited a guy to dinner with her, her date, and her friends and family.
Then she suggested that I go as his date, but I said I didn't want to go even though I did. When me and her were talking about this, that guy pretended that he wasn't listening.
Then later on when someone asked him why he wasn't going to dinner with me, he said, "She didn't want to go."
Does that mean that he would have wanted to go with me? And that he likes me? Or was he just saying that?
(by the way, I'm a freshman and he's a junior.)
Thanks. I rate 5's. (link)
|
Personally it sounds like he wanted to go with ya. Usually if a guy doesnt want to go, he'll just say that. But the fact that he said, "She didn't want to go", really sounds like he was sad he couldnt hang out with you. That's my opinion. Good luck girl!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Okay...I have this friend. She has been my friend for about 3 or 4 years but we have come really really close. Now we are Freshmen in high school and never see each other. I see her around the hall and stuff and i can tell how much she it starting to change. She dyed her hair pink, she is always wearing black, and she is hanging out with a whole differnt crowd of people like the punks and goths and stuff. Dont get me wrong i have a lot of friends that are punks and goths and i have NOTHING agenst them but that is just not her type at all. Ever sence she is changing like this i never talk to her...i want to cause i feel like she doesnt want to be friends anymore...but if i talk to her i dont really kno what to say...i need help...
i'll rate 5 for anything good... (link)
|
I totally understand where you're coming from. That's happened to me with a good friend of mine. I started talking to her again like how you wanted to and i found out that she was totally not the same person. Not only the outward appearance was different, but also her personality and character. I also found out that we had nothing to talk about so that made it harder. We still say hi in the hallways but that's about it. I'm sorry, but there's probably not much you can do. Be a good friend but don't expect her to be all buddy buddy with ya. It hurts, I know because you lose a friend. Everything will work out though. Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
how do u know when your in love or what does love feel like? (link)
|
I think you're in love when you can't get that special someone out of your mind. When you can't go to sleep at nights without thinking of them for awhile. You're in love when you'd rather be with that person then anybody else in the world. It's when you're the happiest. It's when you feel like the whole world is yours and nothing could ever go wrong. I can't tell you exactly what love feels like, but when you experience it, you'll definitely know. It's a feeling that you'll just have to go through. I hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
Ok so I've known this guy (we'll call him Jay) for about 3-4 months now and I reallllyy like him!! And one of his friends told me the other night that he liked me too and was wondering if I was feeling the same. And Jay asks for hugs from me alot and he really sqeezes me hard and he won't let go for a long time, you know? but I don't know if he's for real or if he's just doing this..and the other thing is his girlfriend from 3 years ago is around him alot..and he dosen't really talk to her but shes REALLy pretty..and he still might like her. maybe not. And today I was really mean to him because I didnt' know how to react to him liking me you know? no hugs, yelled and him, and yea i really regret it now. but i need help on what to do!! i rate 5's!! (link)
|
First of all, i would recommend you going and just apologizing and explaining why you acted that way towards him. I'm sure he'll understand and he'll probably think that you're really sweet so maybe try that. And as for starting a relationship with him, just be patient. Sounds like he'll come to you sooner or later so you dont have to worry. Since you know he likes you, then you dont have to stress about his old girlfriend, even if she is pretty. Just keep flirting as always and he'll come around. I promise. Hope i helped and any more questions, feel free!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
First of all, let me clear the air. Im a sexually active 20 year old, Ive never been married, and I personally see nothing wrong with premarital sex, or sex in general.
But.
I have many friends who are Christian or Catholic, and they are (in my opinion) anywhere from sexually repressed at best, to afraid of and disgusted by sex at worst.
I cant really talk to most of them about it, simply because its a very uncomfortable subject.So I pose the question to the masses. For those of you who are religious, what are your views on sex, and why?
Thought provoking answers might get my screen name for further discussion, if you like. Any answers that sound something like
"ur crazy! Sex is uber cool! I LOVE SEX AND THERS NOTHIN WRONG WITH IT!! hope I helped plz rate"
or outright flames will get a 1. (link)
|
Well i'm a Christian so maybe you'll consider my opinion. I believe that sex before marriage is wrong and a sin. I know that God has specifically outlawed premarital sex because it's not honoring the body God has given us. It's not like we're afraid of sex or whatever, it's that we're trying to honor God by doing what He's told us to do. So that's my view. I don't mind having discussions either about it. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
k you may get a lot of these i dunno.
So I liked one of my really good friends.. *jake*. Today my friend *amy*, his really really best friend told me that i liked him.. he said that he doesn't really want to have a girlfriend this year (which was not wat i was going for anyway... i just like him.. and i seriously dont care bout that), and he asked me if im okay and i said that i was and i was still smiling and stuff.. but when amy got off the bus he was all looking at me funny and i said "why are you looking at me funny?" and he said "first you were my best friend and now you like me and im never gonna look at you the same again." That bothered me. Mucho. So i said that i just liked him a little and (which i only DID like him a little)it wasn't an obsession (which is what a lot of boys tend to think)... then i had to get off the bus.
How do I get him to act normal around me again??
Also how do i get it through to him that i didn't like him that much.. basically i was leaning toward getting over him cuz i liked him last year more.
HOW DO I FIX THE SITUATION!! I REALLY WANT MY FRIEND BACK!!!
Help
Please!!
(link)
|
The more you try to "fix" the situation the more you'll end up pushing him away. The best way to handle this is just to give him some time and he'll come around. Alot of my friends have gone through the same thing and i'll tell them to be patient and let the guy come to you. It takes time, but eventually he'll feel normal around you. Just dont bring up everything and act like nothing happened. Try that and it'll work. Good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
ok is there a website where i can learn how to type fatser i will dowload it and sign up but i just need a website quick i rate 5s (link)
|
Well i found this on google but i'm not sure if it's really good but you can try it. Hope it works!!!
www.tenthumbstypingtutor.com
4Him, Disciple
|
Me and my x friend areant talking anymore!! We used to be best friends and tell everyone that we were cousins and stuff... and now in middle school were not talking and we always get in fights. What do I do...because Ill have dreams that were friends then I wake up relizing it was only a dream...its really upset! HELP?!
From girl with friend problems. (link)
|
I know this is going to sound harsh but alot of times, you and you're friends will slowly separate as you mature and get older. It's just how things go. She'll get other friends and so will you. The same thing happened to me and one of my good friends so i'll tell you what i did. I waited!!! I told myself that eventually she'll talk to me once she cools down. Things might never be the same but at least you wont be fighting and that's important. So give her some time and space and she'll come around. Just have to be patient and you'll see. Good luck and hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Hey everyone. Well, this topic might come up all too frequently, so my condolences to those of you who are sick of this. Anyway, I'm 14 kinda short for my age, and I have brown hair and blue eyes. There's actually a few people who "feel" for me right now, but 2 of them I think are repulsive, and the other 1 is really only my friend. I've still never kissed anybody...and I'm wondering if maybe I'm just too picky at this point. I have no pride in being prude, if I liked someone who liked me back I'd let them kiss me. And also, the older I get, the worser reactions I get from people when they realized I've never kissed. I know I shouldnt care what they think, but sometimes I do. Also though, most people usually remember their first kiss, and if it's going to be that "big" I dont wanna do it with someone who grosses me out. What should I do?
-There's a lot of smart things people could turn around on this question, so if you want to be "artsy" and have fun being a smartass, you can, but your going to be the only one enjoying your hard work.- (link)
|
First of all 14 is young so you shouldn't feel like you have to rush things anyways. And there's not a bad part to being picky with who you date and kiss. Usually if you're choosy you'll get somebody better anyways. And if people give you a hard time about not kissing, well just totally ignore them. Most likely they kiss whoever and they're sluts so do you really want to end up like that?!?! I wouldn't if i were you. So just think about all that and i dont think you should change anything about who you pick and all. Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
ok i like my ex-bf's best friend. i think he likes me too. he always flirts with me and we go out on dates together as friends all the time and we have a blast and he always calls me and comes to all my games. i asked him out and he said he only likes me as a friend. i see him everyday and he flirts with me all the time and always wants to be there me. all my friends and his friends think he likes me too. the thing is that my ex-bf doesn't like me that much. one night me, my ex-bf and his friend(the one i like) and some more people all went out to the movies together. i sat next to the kid i like and next to him was my ex-bf. me and the kid i like were flirtin durin the whole movie. my ex-bf saw us and was wicked mad and he yelled at his friend. i asked the kid out acouple days after that. so i think my ex-bf is telling him not to go out with me. so what should i do? (link)
|
Wow, complicated story but let's see what i can do. First of all, talk to your ex and tell him that he has absolutely no right to tell this guy you like certain things. Since you two aren't going out anymore, he can't take over your life. You have to live it yourself. So be honest but nice, ya know what i mean. And about this guy you like, sounds like he's sending mixed signals. So let me get this straight, he's interested but he said you two are only friends??? How about this, just ask him what he really feels if you know he's mature enough to actually answer. Tell him that you two get along really well but you dont know how far he wants to take y'alls relationship. I think if you can just get him talking about it then i'm sure you'll figure out what's really going on. But personally, i think he likes you so dont give up on him!!! Hope i helped ya!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
13/F
I'm not allowed to hang out with my Best friend 'Michelle' because we had a little fight and she left a baad message on my answering machine; not my cell my house and my mom heard it. This was like June of last year I mean all summer I snuck over her house and met her places and now we're partners for a Social Studies project and I can't tell my mom I'm going to her house. Without her I have no friends and she asked me to sleepover her house. I said no but if I keep avoiding that situation she might no be my friend anymore. What can I do I really want to chill with her and how can I explain that to my mom?
I will rate 5's. (link)
|
First of all, i would explain to your friend how your mom is feeling. Because eventually she's going to feel like you're ignoring her and she'll ask you why. So just be honest. And about your mom, tell her that you two arent fighting any more and that's that. Tell her that you have to make your own friends and that she can't determine them for you. Hopefully she'll understand. Just be honest and nice when you do it so she feels like she can trust your decision. Hope i helped and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
i hav a friend who is like my best friend and ive known for like 4 yrs but just this yr she moved to laval and changed schools, i thought i would never be replaced and she even told me that i wopuld never be replaced, but just yesterday i was talkin to her on aol and she added a friend from her school and she was acting totally different and telling me sbout how everyone there is soooo open and funny, and she had all these inside jokes and stuff and when she left the convo she said nice talkin to me, but she told her friend sum inside joke and started laughin away. And shes always telling me about how she went out with all these ppl at her school. Im starting to feel super left out. (and she didnt lie about any of this)
-feeling left out (female, 13) (link)
|
The same thing happened to me when i moved from private to public schools. I was so sure nothing could ever come inbetween my best friend and me. But we started fighting and things just got different between us. You have to remember that people change and move on whether they realize it or not. They make new friends and you will too. I'm not saying to just totally forget about her but she has to live her life and you have to live yours. It's also really hard because you two are at different schools so you don't see each other on a regular basis and from experience, that in itself really hurts friendships. Just see how things turn out and go with it. Your friendship might grow worse or get stronger. Just hope for the best and it'll work out. Hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
|
I have thought alot about suicide. Wrote suicide letters, read them over and over. Some days I want to kill myself, others I don't. I was just wondering for someone who is catholic and christian why do these thoughts occur. I believe in God so much and go to church all the time, but yet I have these evil thoughts, what would happen if I were to kill myself, would I go to hell? (link)
|
I'm a Christian so maybe i can help. First of all, sounds like major depression and you have to take care of that. I've known a ton of people who cut and think about suicide and the first step i tell them to take is to stop thinking about that!!! If you believe in God then you know that there's a purpose in your life and that God loves you so much. That in itself is a great reason to stay alive. You have so much to live for. I can't tell you exactly why you feel this way, but i'm sure you already know why. But God isn't sending these feelings of suicide. It's demonic so when you have these bad days, just start praying to God to help you and He definitely will. God says in the Bible that your body is the tabernacle of God (if you're a true believer). This means that we shouldn't purposefully harm ourselves in any way, and that totally includes suicide. If you're a Christian then i don't think you'd go to hell but God doesn't want you to kill yourself. So think of all the things and people you have to live for. Don't give in to these thoughts. God bless!!!
4Him, Disciple
If you need any more help just email me or put one in the inbox. You don't have to go through this alone.
|
heyy i go to church and i've been going my whole life. i've grown up with pretty much the same group of kids for my whole life at church
lately i've been feeling really upset about church and empty whenever i go. i get nothing out of it. it's like the youth group thinks its nothing but a social thing. like i fell like no one is really serious about getting to know God better or becoming a better Christian. it's just like a place to see your friends each week and nothing more.
i feel upset and isolated and i don't have much friends because they're all different and more worldly in a way. i've stoppped going ot youth group also. maybe this contributes to my isolation or something. there is no way i will stop going to church but i canot switch churches beucase my parents are really involved in this church.
what should i do? (ps. i heard you're a christian) (link)
|
Wow, i think this is the first time somebody has asked me a question because i'm a Christian. Thank you, that's encouraging!!! :) Anyways, about your question. I understand soo much. My family has been looking for the right church like 3 and half years and we've finally settled down somewhere. The youth is okay and all but i dont' feel like i fit in, so i feel what you're saying. The older teenagers get, the more they'll have to decide whether they want to live for God or just go with the world. Alot of them truly aren't Christians so that explains why they don't act serious. It's basically a social gathering for them and nothing more. But honestly, you can't change them but you can pray for them. I'd encourage you to do that because prayer is always helpful and if i dont say anything else that helps you tonight, then at least that will. Anyways, about even going to youth group. I think you should start going again. If you're not even trying to be involved then you're going to keep feeling isolated and you have to be involved with your church to really feel like you belong. So just start going and see what happens. Maybe even try talking to your youth pastor and ask him to preach about living for Christ. That might inspire a couple of your friends to get back with God. Or YOU could actually mention it to them. I know it's awkward to talk to your friends about that kind of stuff but it's their soul and eternity we're talking about here. That's more important than being embarrassed so just put yourself out there and be a DISCIPLE for God. If they see you truly fired up each week they might be inspired. But get involved again with the youth group and see how it goes. And give it time, because it does take awhile to get closer friends and all. Well, i hope i helped you and good luck with all that. If you want, write me back if you have any more questions or comments. Or my sn is rikatree2357 too if you just want to talk. I'd love to hear from you!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Well, I like this guy. He's really nice, we talk/flirt alot and everything's going great. The only problem is, he's a senior (im a freshman). I realize that age is just a number, but still. I also don't know if he likes me back. The reason I want to know is because I don't want to waste my time on someone who shows no interest in me. Plus, there's so many other girls that have a way better chance with him than I do. What can I do to find out if he likes me without being annoying or getting "in his face" or pressuring him about it?
Thanks in advance! (link)
|
You might not want to hear this but even though age is JUST number, people mature alot between freshman and senior year. Think about it like this, say you're a senior and you flirt with this freshman guy alot and he's cute and all. You find out he likes you, what do you do??? You're probably going to tell him you like him as a friend because he's alot younger. Usually guys see girls that younger as like little sisters. At least that's how it comes across for me and i'm a freshman. To me this sounds like a crush. I think it would be better for you if you tried to date guys closer to your grade/age. They'll be able to associate more with what you're going through because they'll probably be experiencing the same stuff. I'm not saying to totally give up on this guy because miracles do happen. :) So keep flirting and talking with the guy and i'm sure he'll catch the hint eventually. And another tip, let the guy make the first move. Specially older ones. Just don't give up and you never know!!! I hope i helped!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
alrighty, i asked this question but i failed to make one thing clear...this girl lives with me. her mom and my mom are best friends, and they moved in together like as roommates, so i live here all teh time and she lives here with her brother and sister when they're with their mom. so here's teh question again, but keep in mind that i live with her.
ok, my best friend and i have known each other since we were 2. we're actually a lot more like sisters, because we know everything about each other. we're now sophomores in high school, and she has yet to make one friend of her own. every friend she has was because i was friends with them first, which isnt a problem, but she needs to seriously be able to make her own friends. we have EVERY class together, and she just tags along. i never get a break from her. i cant stand her attitude, and if i hadnt have known her my whole life i probably wouldnt choose to be friends with her. she judges everyone and is just plain mean. i honestly need to get away from her but i cant, and i cant talk to her because shell just go crying to MY friends and try to get them to be on her side. what the hecks and i supposed to do!?!?
(link)
|
I want to say first that you must have a lot of patience to put up with that. But anyways, about your question. Have you tried hinting that she should make some other friends??? She might take that as you being mean but if you tried to explain that you two can't always be around each other, maybe she'd understand. Try to escape to some other friends who she doesn't know. Just talk to them about it and maybe they could mention something to her. Also tell her that she won't get many friends if she acts like crap. Nobody wants to hang around a mean person. So just be honest with her for her sake and hopefully she'll understand. Hope i helped and good luck!!!
4Him, Disciple
|
Please only answer this question if you know a lot about singing and have musical knowledge. Thanks!
I've been singing for about 3-4 years now, and I've always been an Alto (I'm a female, by the way).
My voice isn't that great though (in my opinion), even though I've been singing for a long time.
I have a vibrato (For those of you that don't know, that's when your voice shakes a bit when you sing. I can control it, though). My question is, is there any way I can improve my voice and make it higher, like to a second Soprano?
Thanks so much! (link)
|
Well, i'm a violinist but my sister sings so i know what you're talking about. She's always been a soprano but she's developed her range over the years. Range is like how low you can go to how high. She also has a voice teacher so if you dont, i'd really encourage you to get one. They can give you certain songs that are going to stretch your range. And you should try certain warm-ups just like scales, ya know??? Push it a little more each day to see how high you can go without it sounding like squeaky. Do that every day and your range will get higher and more developed, stronger. So try to get the voice teacher and do the warm-ups. You can even make ones up as long as you push it. I hope i helped and any more musical questions, i'd love to answer.
4Him, Disciple
|
|