I have spent my entire life analyzing the human mind and social situations. When I give advice, it's like I am helping them and myself. I will never judge you , I will never tell you anything that I am unsure of. I have taken many sociology, and psychology classes in pursuit of becomming a profiler. Please feel free to ask me anything. And if you are interested on my site I have many blogs that show how I see life and the human mind.
http://www.myspace.com/lilmegsoko
E-mail: Lilmegsoko@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: MI
Occupation: Psychology student
Age: 22
AIM: Lilmegsoko
Member Since: April 30, 2007
Answers: 113
Last Update: December 4, 2007
Visitors: 6737
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Mental health
View All
|
| |
|
[14/f] my parents are divorced my dad is a great man, works 5 days a week and has been doing the same job for 13 yrs. My mother on the other hand has never been able to keep the same job for at least 2 weeks, and im not lying on that one. she has been going to College for 6 yrs. and hasnt even gotten her bachelors degree yet! Because she keeps changing her mind on "what she wants to be when she gets older" Well when she told me that she would be transferring AGAIN but this time to get her masters degree. I flipped! she was like whats wrong and i told her, YOU NEED TO GET A JOB! and you need to DECIDE WHAT YOU WANNA MAYJOR IN!!! im sick of it. Soo a day later she tells me i thought about what you said and im gonna start my own buisness selling pottery,(pottery is her hobby) and in my head i was thinking all i wanted her to do was get a little part time job maybe at like borders or something. Soo im like whatever i give up. Then i go away on vacation for 10 days come back and she throws on me, by the way i filled out a job application for Urbana Library (a library in my dad's neighborhood!!!!!) AHHHH i dont know what to do, someone please HELP ME! I want my mom to have a job BUT not one in my dad's neighborhood!, i mean one of the reason's why i like to come to my dad's house is to get AWAY from her, if you can't tell we dont get a long at all...i dont know what to do, please ANYTHING would help at this point, even just support. Thank you =] (link)
|
Give it a bit of time. It could be she is just saying that to make you upset. Talk to your dad about it. Maybe he can put a little dent in her plan.
Or sit her down and tell her you know what she is trying to do. And that she can do whatever, she will lose it in 2 weeks anyway right ;)
|
Hi there. I have a kind of situation in here, which may need help.
I broke up with this girl from 2 months before, as she was having some emotional problems with someone else (ex, long story). Well, as i needed some answers of why, i asked her 3-4 times to speak to me, but first she told me she doesnt think so, then she told me she needs time, and than again she needs time and so on.
Last Thursday she sent me a message "i dont know if i should be telling you this, but i saw you in my dreams these days, tormenting me. Maybe because of the july, i dont know". (we used to knew eachother in July before 2 years). I told her that i kept seeing her too in my dreams and that is very strange.
Well, i dont know, this girl or is too stupid, or too smart :) yesterday, i told to her this other message "you know that i dont like superficiality. I know you thought a lot before sending me that message. If there is something to talk, lets talk.". And later she told me: "I just wrote some thoughts, thats it. There is no need to make it such a big deal. I didnt ask any answer in return, just describing some dreams. Goodnight!"
I told her this other thing: "I dont know why it was so important to tell me about those dreams, knowing the fact that im going to move on.
Dont put me in a game where you dont want to play". After that, i received this other one: "Hey, i didnt beg you for not moving on, or asked anything from you. I just told you some dreams, and your reaction is up to you. I am not playing, i never did.".
Well, as i see, this one or is too stupid or is too smart. You break up before 2 months and you cant send your ex a message like this. I think this is not so normal, isnt that ? I think this is a way to keep me around, so i told her "its not a problem, you can share whatever you want, but dont tell me you werent expecting for an answer :)"
On the other side, i know she is with someone else right now (this ex of her, i told you before. i dont know how is going, but i dont think its going fine between them). What do you think? Was it just a "share of thoughts" or its like a playing mind games? What do you think about this one? cause every time i asked her what is up in her mind, she doesnt admit that she wants anything. Ok, i guess, and i know her enough to say this, cause in these kind of situations, she doesnt have the courage to ask me anything, or to make clear or admit that she wants me to take her back, cause she wants me to make this tought decision by myself. What do you think? What do you suggest? I want this girl back, i admit this. She has been my love, and i still love her, but i dont want to be hurt again, i mean, i have to admit that im a little afraid about her real wants and needs, and im afraid that im being a little pathetic and is only my mind who is making these situation, and i dont want to make a decision and ask her to come back, because of this. Or i should at least try? What do you suggest? (link)
| |
Let me speak from personal experience. I have an ex that I was having dreams about. And like her, I told him. It wasn't because I wanted him back. It was because a part of me missed him and just needed to tell him without actually TELLING him. If she is in another relationship, regardless of whether or not you think it will work, it doesnt sound like she plans on leaving him. She isnt playing games. Sometimes women just pop up then go away again. Who knows why she felt she needed to tell you.But if it was because she wanted you back or wanted to talk, she would of admitted it. You dont do something for that then ignore the person when they ask you a question. Leave her be. If she wants to talk , trust me she will come to you. As for the message, like i said. I told my ex because it made me think about him, and a part of me wanted him to know that I was. But I didnt want to start anything back up.
|
|
hi,i have got a fat gut but my arms and all that are a bit muscle couse i just use to work out on the parts that i liked but now i want abs... its jus my gut if i run would my arms go smaller? (link)
| |
Not if you exercise your arms too. Run and then lift weights. In facts depending on how you lift them, it will help you build up your abs too.
|
im 14/f young, and confused. im super self consious. my friends are all pretty, curvy ..everything! everytime i look at myself i just think of ugly and kinda fat. ive gained 15 lbs. since last year. all guys look at them and not me. im really selfconsious about my personaliy and my body.
-theres also my friend, i have mixed feelings for her because i used to hate her. and it seems like she took my spirit away, becuase i kind of lost mine when she found hers(in a way) and i get quiet and im just really confused. i used to be really loud, but i cant open up anymore. and im not usually a quiet person..
right now my heads in knots!!
(link)
|
Its your age hun. You could be a sumermodel and still see a negative reflection in the mirror. So you are thick...big deal...it happens. There are guys that dont like super skinny girls. Trust me , I live with one. Right now, you are at an age where you are physically and emotionally changing. Some people change more than others in different ways. You are experiencing emotional issues that comes along with it.
You feel alone, ugly, you feel like no one cares. When you have a friend that is everything you want to be. It makes it worse. Sometimes changing your appearence helps YOU feel better. Buy some clothes, (they dont have to be expensive) Do your hair different, do your make up different. Then go mingle. When you are around the same people too much, things become routine, there is nothing to look forward to. If that doesnt work, talk to someone like a parent, or teacher, it could be you are going into a depression and you need somone to talk to...that doesnt make you a bad person...many teens go through it. Especially now a days.
|
|
hi,i was jus wondering how do you become a high male supermodel thanks (link)
| |
You have to make a portfolio just like any female model. This means you have to get professional pictures taken. Most models have to go to a modeling school. There is no guaratee that you will become a "high male " supermodel. Thats all based on your talent, and looks. But everyone has to start somewhere. Good luck
|
14/f
lately ive been pretty stressed over friends. i really just need a way to relax. becuase lately i cant really talk to anyone , so i just wanna relax. if u have any ideas or tips or anything itd help a lot
thanks!!!! (link)
|
Lay down, someplace with no windows, where its not dark but not bright.
Turn on a select amount of songs that you love.
Then when you listen to them, make your own music videos in your head. Put people you know in them as characters. Use yourself as one of them too. Your imagination will take over, and sometimes depending on what You listen to, it can help you get out some agression or built up feelings.
Also, it seems strange, but there is a hard rock song called fixation of the darkness by killswitch engaged. It starts off hard, but the chorus always makes me relax.
|
|
My parents completely ignore me. All the things that i do are never noticed or good enough for them. They are always too busy with work so they don't notice any of my accomplishments. Last week i tried something to get thier attention. I drastically colored my hair to see if they would notice. They said it looks ok and walked away. What can i do to get them to notice me? (link)
| |
Its rough hun, and I am sorry they are like that. You need to sit them down and tell them exactly how you feel. I know it may seem pointless, or even scary. But chances are they are so busy they dont realize what they are doing. Rebeling doesnt always work...they may think it makes you happy and if it does that is fine with them. Its something you need to discuss with them...I had the same problem. I wrote my mother a note and put it on her pillow....thats how I broke the ice.
|
i used to like this guy ( lets call him bmiller) for 4 months. he was a flirt sweet sensitive knew how to treat a girl really well charming and had really nice blue eyes but then he started being a jerk to me and i regret liking him sort of
so my question is why are these kinds of guys irresistable to us girls and what is it about blue eyes that we love so much (link)
| |
Its not the eyes hun, though they may stand out. The attraction is caused by wanting something you dont have. Eyes are the gateway to the soul almost. Some guys know how to make a girl go crazy for them. Its a personality trait. Just like how some guys cant get a gf to save their life. He knows what girls want to hear.
|
|
if your raped its against your will obviously. but when the girls being raped does she like orgasm and have pleasure too? or no becuase shes trying to fight it off? (link)
|
HOWEVER,
I have heard of instances that the woman has orgasmed. But it was under certain, (inaproppriate) circumstances. Was it an enjoyable orgasm? Probably not. We will call it a forced orgasm. You have to understand that not all rapist rape for their pleasure. A regular rape incident would be with the rapist going in with the intent of " I am going to get off" These are usually sex hungry, power hungry guys or girls. But there is a select few who feel inferior and go in with thinking "You will get off because you WILL enjoy it"
In this case the girl is usually tied up ,and told she "has to cum" they force her to moan and enjoy it. There are pressure points, and glands that can force an orgasm...
So like i said, it probably isnt an enjoyable orgasm...but it is possible for a rape victim to have an orgasm.
|
tomorrow i have an interview at applebee's restaurant as a hostess.
does anyone work there? do you like it or not? also, what should i wear to the interview?
if anyone is a hostess anywhere, can you tell me if you like it? is it easy? what do you do? the more info the better :] (link)
| |
I was a hostess. Personally I hated it. You sit there and seat people all day, with a fake smile, and those damn vibrating glowing squares. Its always your fault that there is no seats available.You answer phones, while getting scolded for the wait, while some kid spit on your menues making all of them unsanitary, and sticky. Although I am not a people person. Wear khakies, and a dress shirt. No point in getting too dressed up....
|
i`m a 16/f.. almost 17. i have sex with my boyfriend, and we use condoms, and he even pulls out. my parents have no idea we're having sex & would completely flip out if they knew. i want to go on birth control - because i have really long periods & because i get very very bad cramps. will birth control help with those? & also, if i tell my mom i want birth control for just cramps, and the doctor asks if i`m having sex - what should i say? if my mom is in the room, i don't want to say yes.
so, what should i do? also, does birth control make you gain weight? (link)
| |
Think about it before you try to go on it. Your still horomonally developing, birth control can cause a lot of side effects. It put me into a 5 year depression. Yes it can make you gain weight. Sometimes it can make your whole world turn upside down.
|
|
My best friend and I are inseperable, everyone knows it and thinks we're together. I love this guy more than anything, but he has a girlfriend. She goes to this private prep school in town, and knows about how close we are. They've been together over a year now, and it didn't stop us from hooking up for the last 8 months. About 4 months in he told her what happened, she got over it and forgave him, but it's been going on since a week after that too. I would stop it, but I feel like he's totally worth the wait. He makes me want to be an amazing person. He tells me when the time is right, we'll end up together, but i don't know what to do. (link)
| |
Now why is it you would allow him to have his cake and eat it too? If she found out he was cheating and forgave him, shame on her. As for you, do you not see the obvious sign that he is a player?Apparently you are only second best to him. He is playing you two....sorry it sounds harsh. If he loved you, he would drop the girl. He has been with her for a year and has no problem in cheating on her. What makes you think he wont do it to you with her if you two got together. I think you need to think real hard about it. There are plenty of guys out there that could make you feel amazing, find one thats going to have you as their #1 girl, not "the friend on the side."
|
|
whats normal within the first month or so of pregnancy, whats too early or too late? just wondering... (link)
|
I am in my 8th month myself. Every woman is different. In the first month i had severe nausea. And i could smell a cigarette from a mile away. ....it would make me so sick. ....and it still does. My breasts got larger, and I was ALWAYS tired.
And just for future reference, To avoid stretch marks, I used suave shea and coco butter body wash....8 months i dont have ONE stretch mark.
|
|
new era hats are only for guys or unisex? cause im a girl and i just bought one today and my cousin called me a "tomboy" because of that (link)
|
Wow, that last answer was pretty vague and haggard. Apparently we know where someone stands on stereotype.
Here is the deal. If you wear one, do something with your make up. Wear slender jeans if you are worried about looking like a tom boy. I see girls all the time, that look really attractive wearing hats...they do their make up and have a sweet outfit on that is flattering. Now if you are running around in a hat with baggy pants and a shirt that says LESBIAN then yeah, you might look kind of..... well, lesbian.
|
|
what does poser exactly mean? (link)
|
posing is based off stereotype. look at the categories.
Prep, jock, thug, goth, emo, nerd.
A scenario would be. Someone that you KNOW would wear abercrombie is walking around in hot topic clothes, listening to music like HIM just so a certain crowd will accept them.
You see it more with teens that sag their pants to make people think they are a thug from the "hood" , when in reality they live in a million dollar house, with rich parents.
|
What is the difference between wisdom and knowledge? We've been debating about those in Philosophy class and no explanation seems right for our professor.
And are there any sights wherein I can find other possible explanations? (link)
|
I consider it in steps. "The old wise man." Wisdom, seems to be a word that is inherited with age. You earn your wisdom, by learning knowledge. Consider knowledge the verb...and wisdom the noun.
Remember that the reason it is philosophy is because there is no "exact" answer. Philosophy is questions. If it could be answered it would be science.
|
I asked my best friend who I trust everything with if she thinks I'm a slut. In the past she's said no but I asked her to please be honest with me yesterday and answer me the truth. So she said yes, she also said it was very very hard for her to say. I told another friend what was said and he said that if she was a real freiend she would understand and not think i was a slut. He also said if not, there is one good thing to come out of it; I found out that she wasnt a true friend.
So what do I believe? That she did the right thing telling me truthfully that she thinks I am a slut? Or she did the wrong thing in thinking that of her best friend?
She's always been there for me but now I'm confused.
I feel like I can't tell her anything now without feeling like I'm driving her away. She said it doesnt make her like me any less though and that it's my decision.
Can anyone help me? (link)
| |
ok, first of all, women go through "slutty " stages sometimes. So she told you you are a slut...I mean you asked...you wanted an honest answer. Sex is sex. If you enjoy it, oh well, thats YOUR business. I have a roommate. Her best friend tends to sleep around. She tells her friend she is a slut all the time. Its just a word. Im sure you have opinions on her that would make her feel the same way. Friendship is unbreakable. Thats what makes her a true friend, is she isnt going to sugar coat it for you...she is honest. If the answer is something you dont like, then maybe you need to change some things. Its ok...she is right ...its your decision.Thats spoken like a true friend.
|
So, like, my girlfriend broke up with me like 6 months ago. And I actually cannot get her off my mind. I mean, I think I actually still really like her which is all the worse because she doesn't want anything to do with me. We used to be friends before we went out and I really liked her for a fair few months before anything was said. So its like I went from having this fairly good friendship to a relationship to nothing. And, well, it still hurts.
I mean, I know why she broke up with me and everything, and her points are pretty fair (I was too clingy i suppose is the best way to describe it). But I only acted the way I did because, in a typically manly and ironic thing to do, I didn't want to lose what I had waited so long to get. I really cared about her, infact I still do. And given the choice I would go back and change what I did. But thats not going to happen, so I have to deal with it.
Now, your first thought might be 'wow, this guys pathetic'. Well, I don't have a particularly high opinion of myself either. But I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for what I can do?
And trust me, I have heard everything about it taking time, but 6 months and counting is far too long to wait in my opinion.
I mean, I really want to tell her how I still feel, but the thing is I havent spoken to her in literally 2 months and a random message from me detailing how I feel won't go down well I fear.
Because the thing at the bottom is telling me to, i'm 17/m and she is 17/f (duh)
Any help would be appreciated
Thanks :) (link)
|
Love hurts. Sometimes it can take years. Hell sometimes it doesnt go away. But ask yourself. You dont ever talk to her now right? So whats it going to hurt to tell her how you feel? I mean what is she going to do? Not talk to you anymore?
Also, i think it must be a little more than you being too clingy. Why would she never want to talk to you again for that?I would approach it in the sense that you want to know what really happened. And explain to her that you havent gotten over her yet and you need her to know that. Open yourself up like you did in this. Also, to give yourself confidence, dont be shy about it. Be very stern, dont give her the thought that you are going to beg. But let her know you still care....and that you want some closure. Good luck hun....and remember it does take time...sometimes it takes someone really special to make you forget about the scars of the past.
|
|
im 16/f and i need tips for fighting other people like i mean fighting other girls. (link)
|
Everyone has a different style in fighting.
The temples, knee caps, and the connection between your lower and upper jaw are key spots to hit. Be sure to put all your force into the punch, dont just swing your arm, it has to come from your body weight to have a great effect. Most people dont fight fair. They will pull your hair, but if you can get yourself in the mindset to not feel the blows you will do better.
Fighting is a natural thing really. Either you can fight or you cant. But that is some basic tips for you...good luck
|
|
is fignering yourself the only way to mastubate for girls? I mean, I do it but it doesn't give me pleasure......I just feel normal like it doesn't give me enjoyment......is that weird or is there any way I can ......"pleasure" myself? Help!!!!! (link)
| |
Some girls can get something out of fingering themselves. Then there are some of us, that need clitoris stimulation. Also remember that a lot of the pleasure is based on what you are thinking about. Thinking about a scenario like someone you really like, that you have an attraction to. Having fantasies is important in making it pleasurable.
|
|