jenymca's advice column

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Q: Is semen and sperm the same thing and if not whats the difference?

Semen is the liquid that the sperm lives in. Sperm is the microscopic things that create babies that swims around in it.

Q: ok im a 16 year old girl... im not gonna be having sex anytime soon, but am i suppossed to shave "down there" even if no one will see it? and how much are u suppossed to shave?

Since you are not sexually active, I'd say shave (or wax) just your bikini line, and maybe keep it trimmed. But when you get a partner that you'll be sexual with, then ask him what he likes. Some guys like it shaved, other guys like it just plain trimmed because they "like something to pet".

Q: I'm turning 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend, never been kissed. It's making me wonder if there is something wrong with me. Is there anyone else out there around my age who has never had a boyfriend? I know this isn't exactly an advice question, but it'd make me feel better if I knew there were other girls out there like me!!

(Almost.) I had 2 boyfriends. Once in 6th grade that lasted 3 days, another in 7th that lasted like almost a month but we never talked at all hardly. It was dumb. So I dont count either of those as relationships.
(Almost again.) I got "pecked" kissed by 2 guys. I "kind of" kissed a guy but freaked out. Like, we open mouthed for a second, then he stuck his tounge in my mouth and I pulled away. I dont count those either. (The pecking was 6th grade, the second was 8th grade.)
I'm 16 now and consider myself innocence in a package! Never had a boyfriend and never been kissed. It's normal...guys actually kind of like being a girls first, or so I've heard.

Q: Ok, i am 20 yrs old and i have a child and a boyfriend. He is a big mamas boy. His mom lives down the street about 3 min to drive there. His sister lives across the street. So i see his family at least once a day.(no joke) My family lives across town so i dont get to see them as much. I like his family but then theres time i really dont. His mother i fell always puts me down in a nice way, but maybe thats just me. Everybody kinda aggures with me and i start not to like them. Am a person who takes things to heart and they like to joke alot and make fun of people. Im just asking is it right for me to not like them so much since i see them all the time or am i just being selfish of the love that my boyfriend has for his family?

Think "That's So Raymond." It's perfectly normal sweetie. My only advice is to save up to buy a house away from them a bit more.

Q: ok im a young female...i know a lot the basics and terms about sex and whatever, and i know im not ready to do it, but i dont know like how it works. is it weird that i wana watch porn, not to get horny from it, but just to see how its done? is it wrong? dont say im too young to watch it, but its bugging me of thinking about how to do it (even though i wont for many more years). just help me please. thanks.

I dont see why its wrong that you want to watch porn to see it, although I dont think you should. Since you are young you will have plenty of time to learn about it.

Q: lately i have been extremely unhappy, between my friends not talking to me alot anymore and them ditching me, i sit home alot on weekends when all my friends go out and have fun, also theres thisguy i like but i think he only wants to hook up. im just simply unhappy, also i think i am fat and i want to loose weight, lately i have been turnign to alcohol when im home alone so i dont have to be in this world. im always so bored and i just want to get away. i want my friends, i want to go out and party like my friends do, i want a boyfriend, and i want to loose weight. is there something wrong with me.

Obviously, yes, because it appears you are an alcoholic. I suggest Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. You're other problems are normal teenager business.

Q: Hey. I'm 13/m and I accept none of that "teenagers don't know love" crap. Maybe most teenagers don't, but I'm not most teenagers. I had a friend from science class. Long story short, over the summer, I realized that I loved her, I told her, she didn't love me back, I experienced The Void, and pretty much every new true emotion, I couldn't get her out of my head, and then when school started, things were awkward. I can't think of any other way to describe it. It just felt awkward. Anyway, I talked to her about that yesterday, and she agreed. So now we just forgot anything ever happened and we're back as regular friends now. I had felt like crap for a really long time, and I seemed to screw absolutely everything up. Well, now that all this pressure is off of me, I feel a lot better and I'm back to my regular happy goofy self again. Which is good. Except I feel strangely empty inside. Just a tiny pit of blackness in my happy heart. It feels nothing like The Void at all. Just... emptiness. Why? What is it? What's all this about? Thanks in advance...

By the way, here are my standards on your answers: I will NOT always rate a 5, I will rate whatever I find appropriate. I will not always rate anyway, but I will try. I will not hesitate to give you a 1 or report you, I have been responsible for a number of permanent bans. So no smartass answers. And just a matter of personal interest, try to use proper grammar. Please.

Alright, I'll answer you're question after I say this. Its not that "teenagers dont know love" its that its not going to be the same "love" as when you are older and more mature. Its a more immature love, the kind that teenagers get when they first jump in the game. Thats why (mostly) when you marry your highschool sweetheart, it tends to end in divorce. Although many marriages seem to end in divorce this day and age which must mean nobody really understands "love" anymore. :(

Anyway, what you probably are feeling my guess is...well, to face the facts, you have changed. You dont hold that innocence you had before you were with this girl. You are "emotionally scarred." It probably wont leave until you find that next girl you "love." Its probably because you rushed into the relationship...take it slow next time. You are only 13, which means plenty of more romance for you but if you dont go as fast you wont get as hurt.

Please is a fragment sentence. If you want someone to use proper grammar, I suggest using it yourself. As a matter of fact, a lot of your question has not been written with proper grammar.

Q: ok i am 5'4" and i weigh 106.5 lbs. am i overweight? is it irrational to think that i am fat???people tell me i worry too much i dont c y though.please help!
also latley i have been feeling guilty after i eat. help with that too plz.

No way at all sweetie! I am 5'4 and weigh 130 and that is when you get overweight! You are just right. 105-115 seems like the best weight for your height. You shouldnt worry that much...trust me its not worth worrying about being fat. Especially since you arent. Since I'm the same heigh like I dont look fat either, I looked average sized but I have some pudge...so, you are far from being over weight! Dont worry about it sweetie you shouldnt feel guilty after eating unless you *over* eat. So in conclusion you are what I wish I was!!

Q: out of the blue 2 guys like me at the same time. i chose the one that i knew the most. we have been going out for a day and hes saying he loves me and i just feel confused and i want to tell him that. but then this other guy is so sweet and says he would never cheat on me and stuff because the guy im going with is what you would call a rebel. i really dont know what to do please help me

I'd say choose the other guy. Because if this guy is telling you he loves you already it doesnt sound right. Plus he seems nicer and more non-rebellish. But thats my opinion based on the little paragraph you gave and my taste in guys added in (I dont like rebels too much) so...do what feels best. Obviously you're second guessing yourself. Go out with both! Ok lol that would prob. never work out. But blah, sorry for the crappish advice.

Q: The other day on my way home from school I bought a bag of donuts and was eating them while typing out an essay on my computer.I was a bit careless and sugar and crumbs from the donuts fell on the keyboard.The next day after school I had ants crawling all over my keyboard.I dont know what to do.

Any ideas?

Wait, so you were typing this on your ant-filled keyboard!! Gross! Okay, I know you're probably using another comp or keyboard or something. So...umm...get cans of spray-air and do that, you could shake it upside down (just unplug it from the comp first and take it outside!), and maybe you could vaccuum it if you dont want to buy the air can. That might work too. Good luck with that lol! (it reminds me of the time I spilled choco milk all over my keyboard! Lol!)

Q: there is this girl that i've liked since 2nd grade and i like her even more.i am now in 9th grade and i think she is the one but i am afraid to ask her out because i am afraid she will say no. so what should i do?i am a male.

Ask her anyway! Aww, sweetie if you've liked her since 2nd grade...you dont want to waste any time. You only have this moment one second of your life. The worst she can do is say no, but then you can just wait and ask her out later. Its not like you guys are 7th graders anymore and she'll make fun of you or anything. Who knows, she may like you too, and you could be wasting *valuable* time! You're only gonna be this age once, so do all you can...believe me, you dont want to regret wasting any time...and if she is the one...then go for it!!
Plus, any girl is flattered when they get asked out.
I hope you go for it!!! Good luck, and...I hope she says yes!

Q: Hey Jen! I'm Steven, and I just happened to be browsing by your column. I just realised that you play trombone and live dangerously close to me (PA and NJ...). That's just awesome. Just wanted to mention that. :)
-Steven
sbloemeke

Ooh so cool, so cool! Then would you mind if I asked you for some trombone advice? Well I'm going to anyway so :P I'm heading over to your column right now to ask you.

Q: what kind of exercise can you do to make your boobs bigger, i heard that there are exercises for that..??
13/f

Aww I'm sorry sweetie there isnt an exercise to do. There really is nothing to do except wait it out. But you are only 13 so you have a good three, four years to continue growng (which you most likely will).

Q: What are some songs that are about being sad because of the death of a friend? Thank you.

View From Heaven- Yellowcard

Q: OK well im a 13/f and when I was little and still now if like i do somthing "bad"..or i get my dad mad...he'll like hit me...and like i dont know if thats really considered abuse..well see this all came up because my friend jessica was tellin us how she stayed out late and her dad got really mad and she called her mom and was like i think dads gunna hit me cuz hes really mad but if he lays a hand on me ill call the cops...so that just got me thinkin to myself...is what my dad does considered abuse or just a way of him "punishing" me.
plz answer
thanks

....

It depends. If it's a little slap I would say not, but if its a hard slap, or anything that could REALLY hurt, not just snap you back to sense or anything, then thats abuse. Like my sister used to always say if you lay a hand on me I'll call the cops, but one time when she did bring the cops here they said they werent really hurting her they were just kind of...you know, like a spank is fine for little kids, and a slap is fine for a grown up. But anything that leaves a bruise, a big mark, or hurts really bad then it is out of line.

Q: I was having dinner at a friend's house, and some other peole were thare, and we started talking about the dinner before the homecoming dance.
My friend invited a guy to dinner with her, her date, and her friends and family.
Then she suggested that I go as his date, but I said I didn't want to go even though I did. When me and her were talking about this, that guy pretended that he wasn't listening.
Then later on when someone asked him why he wasn't going to dinner with me, he said, "She didn't want to go."
Does that mean that he would have wanted to go with me? And that he likes me? Or was he just saying that?

(by the way, I'm a freshman and he's a junior.)

Thanks. I rate 5's.

I think it meant he wanted to go with you.

Q: Ok so there is this girl on my bus named jessica. And were arent friends or anything. And she told the kid across from me that her stepfather beats her. So me and the other kid decided that we would tell the guideance counseler about it. Well the other kid goes to Vo-tech during the day so he wanted me to tell the office. So I did. Well somehow Jessica found out that I was the one who told and now shes mad at me. She is being really nasty to me what should i do? I mean I was only trying to help

She may be mad at you but you helped her. There really isnt nothing you can do-but over time she will be thankful for what you did because it could have saved her life!! Go you, I applaud you for what you did.

Q: I was using my other phone line and I wanted to pretend I was calling someone. So i thought i dialed the same number as that line i did that about 4 times and hung up. I know it was stupid. The person called back I apologized and explained I dialed the wrong number. I am scared will they be able to find me?

I dont think the person will care that much, I mean you apologized. People get crank calls all the time. I've called up people singing, joking, being weird, and nobody has ever tracked me down. And they wont be able to find you anyway so calm down, you didnt even do anything bad!

Q: Hi, I'm 16/f and I was raised a Catholic. A really close friend of mine is like.. TOTALLY religious. He's completely devout to the point where he considered being a priest. lol, anyway.. he told me to read this chastity booklet called "pure love" a while ago (www.pureloveclub.com is the website for it) which I did. I was shocked at reading it. Apparently, not even french-kissing should be done outside marriage. I find this ridiculous in a way, and wonder whether any of this has a biblical basis.

My questions are: Should I tell my friend I read the booklet and give my opinions on chastity? Would it damage our friendship?

Secondly, and more importantly, is chastity really necessary? Is there anywhere that states that french-kissing out of marriage is sin? Why do they believe this? I realize that pre-marital sex is a sin, but kissing? Even light touching? Is this all necessary? I am against pre-marital sex (for my own reasons, not for religious reasons) but don't understand why they are so hell-bent against other things.

I hope I haven't offended anyone who is a Catholic. I respect anyone's religious belief, but I always question everything in life. :) I'd appreciate a totally unbiased answer. Thanks a bunch guys!

I hope I dont offend any Catholic's either, but they have a lot of rules that generally God or Jesus mentioned nothing about. That's why I'm a Lutheran-we are a split off from Catholics only we arent strict. French-kissing isnt that taboo I think in the bible...argh. My opinion/advice is probably worth like a 1 it helps none, but that is all I can say! I dont think all the rules are necessary either so...hmm. Esp. the one about married couples cannot use ANY form of contraception (correct word). My mom told me about that...she said Catholics think it a sin.

Q: Just a bit of info. It costs about 600,000 to keep a person in prison for life. It costs about 8 million to put someone to death.

The reason is court costs. Death row inmates go through appeals systems, and after a number of appeals, years (as much as 10-15) of trials, time already spent in prison, and exhaustive investigations, it costs FAR more to put someone to death.

Oy, thanks for that! My fault!

bio

Hi, I'm Jen. I'm a 15 yr. old sophmore at my highschool. I'm just an all-around-average girl (okay, I'm not THAT average) I enjoy giving advice and asking it lol. I play the trombone in my school band and jazz lab, I sing in the chorus and in my church choir, I have a few friends but not a crapload...and I'm always there for my friends with advice! Sometimes its not always what they want to hear, but I always mean the best. So, ask me a question and I'd be glad to answer!
JEN!!