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Question Posted Sunday October 2 2005, 7:32 am

Hi, I'm 16/f and I was raised a Catholic. A really close friend of mine is like.. TOTALLY religious. He's completely devout to the point where he considered being a priest. lol, anyway.. he told me to read this chastity booklet called "pure love" a while ago ( is the website for it) which I did. I was shocked at reading it. Apparently, not even french-kissing should be done outside marriage. I find this ridiculous in a way, and wonder whether any of this has a biblical basis.

My questions are: Should I tell my friend I read the booklet and give my opinions on chastity? Would it damage our friendship?

Secondly, and more importantly, is chastity really necessary? Is there anywhere that states that french-kissing out of marriage is sin? Why do they believe this? I realize that pre-marital sex is a sin, but kissing? Even light touching? Is this all necessary? I am against pre-marital sex (for my own reasons, not for religious reasons) but don't understand why they are so hell-bent against other things.

I hope I haven't offended anyone who is a Catholic. I respect anyone's religious belief, but I always question everything in life. :) I'd appreciate a totally unbiased answer. Thanks a bunch guys!

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jenymca answered Tuesday October 4 2005, 9:40 pm:
I hope I dont offend any Catholic's either, but they have a lot of rules that generally God or Jesus mentioned nothing about. That's why I'm a Lutheran-we are a split off from Catholics only we arent strict. French-kissing isnt that taboo I think in the bible...argh. My opinion/advice is probably worth like a 1 it helps none, but that is all I can say! I dont think all the rules are necessary either so...hmm. Esp. the one about married couples cannot use ANY form of contraception (correct word). My mom told me about that...she said Catholics think it a sin.

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sbloemeke answered Sunday October 2 2005, 3:12 pm:
Do not tell your friend, as it can potentially hurt your friendship. Sometimes, the truth hurts. I know from some responces to advice I've given. :). Seriously though, don't let him know, for what he doesn't know cannot hurt him.
And no, it's no neccassary. In fact, I find it all a bunch of falsities. Go into the bible, and give me the passage that says pre-marital sex is a sin. Heck, Abraham had it with Hagar, and he never married her. He already was married at the time. He's obviously in heaven. I'm not trying to change your beliefs on pre-marital here, just using it for an example.
So, if pre-marital is on a shaky groung, the french kissing as a sin is definately balogna. It's a bunch of overly-concerned catholics interpreting something to the point where it no longer has any meaning.

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bookman answered Sunday October 2 2005, 12:37 pm:
I'm a Protestant Christian and can recall no place in the Bible where it says that any sort of kissing is a sin. However, French kissing is something to be careful about because it can inflame passions and lead to premarital sex. This is the only basis I can see for not French kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend. As long as you have a tight rein on your emotions, though, go for it!

And, yes, like younggrandma said, I'm sure he gave you the information to read so he could get your opinion. Talk to him about it and give your honest opinion, but be willing to listen to his as well.

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Mercy_x_Me answered Sunday October 2 2005, 11:59 am:
Hey. Well, your beliefs are your beliefs. I'm a christian. No, I don't think you should be running about making out with whoever, but I dont think its wrong with a certain someone.
I think it's the one thing before marriage that really allows someone to click, and if you've only pecked on the lips before, you still feel like strangers on a first date. I dont believe in premarital sex however.
It's true, it's your own opinion, and it does depend where a kiss leads. You dont want yourself getting carried away beyond a kiss, but if you can control it I think it's okay. And, I think there's nothing wrong with calmly discussing this with your friend. Do it in a level headed manner so that the two of you can both see different perspectives.

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karenR answered Sunday October 2 2005, 10:09 am:
I think if your friend wanted you to read the booklet, he would probably also enjoy discussing it with you.

I really don't think it will damage your friendship. It shouldn't anyway. Be honest with your opinion as I'm sure he will be.

I think as you do. Other people are entitled to their opinions of course and I too respect their right to have their opinion.

Its when they start putting down others for what they think that they lose my interest. :)

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xxxxxx answered Sunday October 2 2005, 7:59 am:
I'm Catholic, I go to a catholic school, and we have people come in to talk to us about chastity all the time. They said the same thing- nothing beyond kissing (peck) should be done outside of marriage. They said french kissing is a sin because you are sharing the breath of life that God breathed into us as we were created. I understand that, but I still think thats ridiculous. I can understand No intercourse, no oral sex, and no inappropriate touching... but no french kissing?

This is how I see it. In the Bible it says no premarital sex before marriage. But in the Bible, does it state that french kissing is a sin? I don't know if it does or doesn't. But if it doesn't, then its just a stupid rule that the Catholic church made over time. Then again I could be wrong, and it may say it in the Bible but I'm not sure. It just makes me mad the fact that NO WHERE in the Bible does it say women cannot be priests. Its just a rule they made up many many many years ago. Back then, priests could marry too. So you never know.

I suggest telling your friend your oppinion if it means that much to you. Ask him if the Bible states that french kissing is wrong. Afterall, we all know that God inspired humans while writing the Bible so they wrote what God wanted to say and ONLY what God wanted to say. And even if french kissing it technically wrong, explain how its not as bad if you do it with someone in a serious relationship, and not casually while being drunk at a club.

You havent offended me, dont worry :) and I hope you can use my counter example!

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thund3rstruck answered Sunday October 2 2005, 7:54 am:
ok i am a catholic and in my opion pretty religious but yah your belifs are you r belifs i think that kissing is no big deal and that other stuff(ie dancing for penicostals is crazy) but its tehre not for everyone but you to take and leave some just because i dont belive that reconcilation isnt nessarcery to have your sins reconcilled doesnt mean im hell bound...and tell him if you want if he is your friend it wont and if it dowes hes not your friend

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