dulce8nina's advice column

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Q: how bad does it hurt to get your lip piercing ? i know it depends from person to person, so if you have your lip & ears/tongue/bellybutton pierced, how much does it hurt in comparison ?

it dosent really hurt [[well at least ur lip dosent]] i only felt like a sting on my lip & then that was it once its in & if you clean it so it wont get infected it should be cool.:]]
-the bellybutton hurts a little more than the lip since im guessing it is a bigger hole
-the ears well i dont remember but i heard it only has afterpain & a hot ear lol
eigther way some sort of pain will come although it may be as small as a sting but "pain goes away" those words helped me so keep them in mind ;]

Q: i beg your pardon if this is too long
well, i'm 16 and my best friend is 16 and we're both girls. at the beginning of the year, she was this innocent girl. never cursing (perhaps because of her muslim religion) no boys (same), good grades, good writer. everything was fine. we got pretty close. I then noticed her apparent obsession with herself. how she would look in the mirror so attentively and stare at herself and go "i'm sooo gorgeous"..i dont have a problem with that but it did seem like she had a narcissistic problem. she grew cocky over the next couple of months and all of a sudden..this new version of my friend..more cockier, confident..badder..appears. and i dont like it. she begins neglecting school work to text and talk on the phone. detentions...she gains an interest in boys..and one particular guy ..which her muslim dad nearly finds out about. and i've been helping her so she doesn't sink. but that self-love has been SO FREAKING OBVIOUS. her arrogance is astonishing! in fact, we've remained good friends up till today. i'd print stuff out for her in school, i'd call her, console her when the guy dumped her..give her advice. generally, i was there for her. all of a sudden...she meets these group of people..and in less than one week, she's telling me how much she loves them and how theyre her best friends. and she ignores my texts, doesnt say hi..goes over to them. doesnt care about me anymore. i feel used, betrayed...like ive spent my time with her and helping her for nothing. but that apparent cockiness...bothers me. we got in a fight and she called me a dumb fucker. after all ive done with her. how am i to deal? thank you in advance.

people change for a reson. sometimes it hurts to let people go but if she's grown apart from you i think the best thing to do is let her go. in the future im pretty sure she will need someone who will be there for her and she'll think about you and she will realize how she pushed a great friend away. i think the best thing to do is let her be and live her life how she wants. i know it kind of hurts to know that all the good times might not come back im sort of going through this right now but people will come in and out your life thats why i personally never get attatched to someone as much anymore. also dont feel like you have been there for her for nothing because like i said all those good times are memories and memories dont fade. there's nothing much really to do but let her pick her own way. i mean if you really really want her back to how she was then sit her down and tell her but idk that would probably get her mad;/
well goodluck

Q: i never tried this ask a random columnist thing before but oh well. Im 15 years old, female, from a small small town and like every teenager i have issues. sometimes i just feel so alone and i have friends and they are the best and i have family who are great as well but still i cant help but feel alones sometimes, also i cant help but feel like im not doing what im supposed to be doing like somehow im living a different life than what i was supposed to. i just need someone to talk to and maybe someone who can relate you dont need to answer this but u if do thats great too

hey.
well im pretty sure and i can definately relate to how your feeling.
things will come around for you tho promise!
if you do have all these people who are great and love you try and keep them closer talk 2 them spend some time with them,loneliness will come at times its normal to feel like you don't belong but dont allow these moments to come over everything. be patient and im sure you'll find some way to find yourself and a better life although its not always bad to live a life completely different from what everyone expects, its what makes you unique and your own person; you juss need to find a way to make how you live your life be the way you want it to go.
i can tell you this because this is exactly how i would feel back when i was a lil younger. I felt like i was doing everything wrong and nothing good was ever going to come my way and i thought my life was just going to stay the same forever and i got real lonely almost about to comitt suicide but i started thinking that i had a whole other part of life ahead of me and i didint know what was going to happen next so i stuck around and now i feel like im such a happy person and i have everything i need to have and yeah life gets hard and it takes time to make it right but the time will come just wait it out.
if you'd like to talk through some other way i have yahoo my sreename: dulce_niina
or my myspace : abelsandoval@sbcglobal.net
->i may not have the best advice ever but ill always listen :]
goodluck

Q: 16/f. i've been dating my boyfriend for a bit over 6 months. we're pretty serious, and we are happy as clams (as some say). we go to different schools, so i don't get to see him that much, but i still do get to see him a good amount. we have so much fun together and just click really well, but i just wish he was more romantic. we didn't even celebrate valentines day, and for christmas he got me a shirt that said "blonde with benefits". i just wish he would do something sweet every now and then, just because.. you know? i've already tried straight up telling him "i wish you were more romantic" but he just can't seem to get it. any tips? thanks guys.

well some guys are just to shy to do nice stuff for girls or they just dont have much experience in doing so.i know every girls dream is to have a guy who pampers her and makes her feel loved all the time but i suggest you stop asking for romantic gestures from his part. i can assure you one of these days he will do something sweet for you and it will mean so much because you'll know its coming from him and not cuz you asked him to.
just let him know how you feel for him and when he starts noticing how sweet you are to him he'll feel the need to show you some real love back.
be patient with him.
goodluck

Q: I like my own guy friend but he likes this girl in my class. And it hurts me the most because he likes someone who doesn't like him back or maybe she WILL go out with him because she just doesn't like staying single. But I am afraid I love him too much and I want to be his girl but he doesn't like me back. I really think he likes the girl because she is like something I can only dream to be.

what i have learned is never give up on someone you cant go a day without thinking about!
guys always "fall" for the girl that looks amazingly beautiful. this of course lowers our self esteem but girl your just as beautiful as the girl he likes. Try and get him to know you even more. spend more time with him eventually when your comftrable enough to tell him you love him tell him you can't loose anything.
If this girl does choose to go out with him simply because she dont like to be single im pretty sure this relationship wont work out, so be there for him.
My advice is try to get him to like you slowly as a friend not all flirty and stuff...im telling you from experience this is how i started with my bf and now we have 9 months together and we feel like were our other halfs but for that i had to build up the courage to tell him and he took a chance on me ;]
goodluck hunn.

Q: 14/f
to say it straight, i got fingered and gave the boy a handjob in return. and my friend told this kid and he told everyone. alot of people hate me now, and all this shit is going around. i just kind of shrug it off and i'm like Shit Happens. haha, i know i shouldn't have ... i regret it alot but even his cousin who is in my sisters grade foudn out! she told me to "stay the fuck away from her cousin" and i'm not worried about my sister finding out cause i told her haha. but i just don't know what to do i feel so bad, like i want to kill myself. i'm already in counseling for feeling like this. i just don't know what to do. and how to handle this. please help D:

ok your class mates need to grow the fuck up [excuse the language]
i agree it's nothing to be hated for probably half the people that are laughing at you did the same thing and thats why they laughing and talking shit.
just ignore these kids they'll move on to someone else in about a week or two.
[p.s. im not going to tell you what to do because its your desicion but my advice is dont do it again with someone random and if you do keep it lowkey dont tell anyone most importantly dont trust anyone with personal information cuz no matter how close you are to someone they will be nosy with it.]
GOODLUCK! keep your head up & fu*k wat ppl say;]

Q: I Honestly I Have No Idea Where To Put This Question Under.
Anyways I Recently had my lip pierced [Its located on the left side].
Can anyone [especially people who have lip piercings] give me any Accurate info on how to clean it,what to use & etc.
I've visited different sites but they all say different things and im very confused.
Any advice that will help me out will be great.!
Thanks :]

well when i got mine i was told to just rinse my mouth with listerine mouthwash about 3 times a day and to clean the ring thing with alcohol in the morning and in the night to disinfect it.
mine was cool and it never got infected.

Q: she went out with a guy, broke up with him. started to hook up with me, then inbetween seeing eachother, she starts dating this new guy. so she's not single anymore, but i know she ahs feelings for me, and I want it to be like it was when she was'nt with either guy, and thinking about me :( how can i get her to break up with this new guy and go with me, am i wrong for wanting her to cheat on him for me, i care about her so i would never ask her to do anything while she is seeing guy 2. but damn, i want her to so badly

i think you should jus let her be with this new guy..after all shell be back if your saying she has feelings for you. sometimes people just need to explore whatever it is thats out there in order to know that the right thing for us is somewhere else and maybe shell realize this. Dont try to brake them up because thats messed up and then again what goes around comes around!
hopefully this girl sees that the one she ants is you soon tho;]]
goodluck!

Q: Ok, so she told me today that she dont wanna be my friend anymore, she didnt tell me y. she said you dont like me cause i like your bf, n i was like..dats nt d reason even tho it was. I mean, im gettin tired of him hanging up on me cuz hes talkin to my best friend or him puttin me on hold jus to talk to her n vice versa...im jus sick of it. Do you think i should break up w/ my bf or stay w/ him?

girl brake up with him!
this is obiously not going good and after all you cant keep holding on to something you never REALLY had! and besides he made you loose a friend what kind of shit is that??!
but if i were you i wouldnt talk to her nomore because thats real messed up what she was doing too! and well the same thing happened to me exept i still talk 2 my "friend" but because i have to not because i want to. but yeah i think you should brake up with him because im sorry but he probably likes her too since he does click on you just to talk 2 her!
dont worry tho if you do leave him youll find someone better who will NOT fuck up on you! [[hasent happened to me so far but i know it will...im just choosing to have FUUUUUN fo a while lol]]=]]

Q: 15/f/Australia

Like, I know you drop the weight and stuff, and I was just wondering what else happens. I remember someone saying what happened but I forgot. Don't worry I'm not even thinking about only eating it, I'm just curious.

my teacher did this...and she said she started smelliing like it like her skin just naturally smelled like it so she lost wight but she said it was not worth it because everybody kept teasing her about how she didint shower lol

Q: 14/f
My mom recently got divorced like 2 years ago. She's been dating other men recently and I really haven't had any problems with it...but suddenly she's been dating this one guy she's really interested in (lets call this guy Joe).
I actually like Joe and I don't have a problem with him. But I'm starting to get jealous of the time my mom is spending with him. My mom is always very busy with schoolwork and "paying bills" she says, so she doesn't have a lot of time to do things with me. Now she's with Joe a lot...he comes over a lot...she's on the phone with him a lot...and it upsets me she always tells me she's busy yet she has so much time to be with him. Not only that, but the time my mom and I ARE together, she's in a bad mood.
So I thought the only thing i could do was talk to her about it. I really didn't want to, because I know this man makes my mom happy and I want her to be happy, and I was scared she'd stop seeing him if i told her. But it was bothering me so much, so i talked to her...and she didn't take it so well. She said I was being unreasonable. But she also said she's going to stop seeing him if I really feel this way, and I didn't want that to happen! So now, she's going to dump him because of me even though i begged her not to. I literally told her i would get over it and it's okay, but she simply wouldn't listen and now she's not seeing him anymore. And I feel AWFUL!
All i wanted was for her to spend more time with me. But she thinks she already does, so i'm assuming in her opinion she thinks doing things once a month with me is enough.
So now I don't know what to do...I feel so bad, because this guy she's seeing is a nice guy, and he shouldn't be dumped. And my mom deserves him and deserves to be happy. Now she's all depressed and even moody-er than ever...she was so happy. And I screwed it all up. What should I do???

look its not your fault!
your mom i think you need to tell her that all you want is her to balance work and you and her love life equaly [[even tho that is hard]] but damn i dont know if you already told her that you didint want him to leave well i dont know what else to do. maybe talk to him and tell him what it is you felt and tell him to talk to both you and your mom together..maybe all 3 of you work something out and your mom is happy again=]]

Q: Why is it people always say don't tweeze the top part of your brows? Only the bottom part?

Is there another reason apart from the fact your arch comes from underneath?
I tweezed the top of my eyebrows (quite alot) when I was a bit younger and I've continued to do it because I don't like how it looks when it's growing back in, should I just leave it to grow back in or is it alright if I keep doing it?

its on you i mean they also say dont put mascara in the bottom eyelashes but we do it anyways and it dont kill us!
so if it makes you feel like its pretty then i would say go for it and keep doing it but if you want to let them grow so you wont tweesze em no more den let them grow and hey maybe you like how they turn out to look when you give them time=]]

Q: Hey. I'm 13/f and my bestfriend is 41/f. The other day, I went uptown with her and her other friend, and we went in the woods and they smoked pot. Don't get me wrong, I mean if they want to try it, go ahead, it's their lives. The third friend, we'll call her friend 2, is a pretty bad pot head, although we're still good friends. I'm just afraid that whenever friend 1 is with friend 2, friend 1 will smoke pot and get addicted to it. I have no problem confronting her with my concern, becuase she confronts me about cutting all the time. The issue is, I don't know what to say without coming off like I'm trying to run her life. PLEASE HELP ME?!

I rate..

Sorry it's so long..

first of all i dont think she should feel like your trying to run her life becauce your simply concerned about her and your trying to make her do wats good for her and dats what she does to you about cutting yourself![[wich i dont agree so much on by day way=//]] but yeah. i had the same problem as you but i told her that wat she was doing was wrong and well she said shed stop for me but unfortunately i didint see her anymore as much and she started to go more towards what the other girl was telling her....my point is all you can do is tell her and try to make her understand but you CANNOT fix her as in make her stop. i know shes your friend but like you said its her life and if she messes it up theres nothing you can do about it!

Q: My best friend and my boyfriend have been talking alot on the phone lately. He tells me he'd call me back in 10 minutes, but somtimes, he never does. Then, my best friend told me that he had called her and they talked about stuff. What should I do? I mean, he tells me he love me but he always talk to my best friend, calls her mommy or mama and they also have alot more in common than we do. What should I do?

mmm maybe they talk about you!
but it would kind of get me mad too so i think you should talk to both of them and see what it is that is going on between them you know...thats wrong because your best friend knows that hes your boyfriend but dont jump into conclusions just like that they could be spending all that time talking about you...even tho im sorry but it dont seem like it...=//
then y would he call her momma or whatever?? *ugh* bois these days are so dumb! but yeah if you see this goig on tell him you are feeling very uncomftrable and if this keeps up your sorry but your gonna have to let him go...feels bad but its the best thing to do..trust me
good luck!

Q: which damages hair more:

straightning your hair

or

blowdrying your hair straight

thank you!

straigthening your hair because the hot air is like so close that its killing it slowly and drying it up so i would have to say that blowdry it...its way easier=]!

Q: O.k., so I'm hispanic, 15 years old and I'm a softmore in highschool. The girls in New Jersey are the farthest from civilized and nice I have ever come to meet. Now, for some reason, they all seem to hate me, and they show it very clearly. Talking about me behind my back, bumping into me, or even speaking about me outloud but indirectly, just so I know its about me. I mean, seriously, we'll be in college soon! So, I know its no one's issue, but I am THE nicest of people (to a certain extent, of course), and not bitchy (though a bit conceited) or confrontal at all, so I really can't bring myself to ever stand up to them...I dont know what I should do, because any place I go here, I end up hating...so if anyone could give me some great advice and please help. Thanx.

hey well damn i think the best thing to do is ignore them. Not everyplace is the best ever and well its not your fault so just let them hate on what they cant be you know=]]
just get your studies done and get out fast enough to get to college. i mean why would you want somebody who talks shit about you all the time anyways or about anybody else!
to stand up to them well i must say you need to build up courage! i know its hard and scary but if you never do they will keep on doing this to you! for example me if somebody is making fun of me i HAVE 2 say something back its like a MUST lol. [[although mine comes naturaly because of the mom i have haha]] but try 2 think of things to say...i mean dont be mean back but it is good at times to give them a taste of their own medicine=]] good luck!

Q: I really hate my life but my friends hold me back not my family because well my family sucks. My friends love me more then my family. I haven't cut because im not some worthless piece of crap.But i have had millions of thoughts about death or killing myself. Im wondering will they even care if im gone? My parents barely reconize me now so whats the point? I told my love one these suicidal thoughts and he yelled at me making me more depressed. I cried for 4 hours straight and I even told him. He likes me alot and he said he would jump infront of a bullet for me. I was recently in the hospital my best friend since 2nd grade (14/f now) died in my arms im now emotionally unstable. Anywho my love one yelled at me and said he needs a week off. Its been more then a week and i sent 2 apology letters he has yet to right me back. I haven't smiled ever since the accident which was April 2nd 2007. I have no emotions but sadness. My sister is majo worried about me and i can't handle it. What should i do to help myself smile? And how will i get my love one to talk to me!? Thank you.

ok well i have a boyfriend who is in the same case as you. he has been that way ever since he was 13 [now 15]...trust me you may feel like nobody cares and if your gone nobody will care and their lifes will stay the same but N0! everything will change and you know what the worst part about it is? that you dont know what you have until you loose it. don`t make your parents,friends,bf and everybody else get a taste of what your death is like in this world. by death i dont only mean you die..i mean that your dead from the inside and your pushing everyone away from you. My friends [5 of them ] died last year exactly on april 2nd and i know what it feels like.About your boyfriend he is probably just concerned about you the same way im concerned about my boyfriend..at times i feel like i cant take this shit anymore.i feel like y am i dealing with his pain if i cant even handle my own sometimes wich comes to my conclusion..in this world you only have yourself. Dont try and smile for your family and friends but for yourself afterall the one that is living this life is you. give your boy friend time to gather his thoughts after all its not a easy situation to be in but if he really cares he will not give up on you.
i really really hope that you regain happiness because we all need it to carry on and i know this is a harsh world but we have to make the most of it remember that=}

Q: ~how do you get your limewire playlist onto your itunes playlist
~how do you put songs in yor itunes to your ipod ~how do you put songs from limewire to your ipod

--list all the steps pleaz

umm well i do it diferrent than both users. Try highlighting the songs you want from limewire with the mouse and just drag them onto your itunes library. hopefully you get it...?

Q: I'm 15. This boy is 18. But we really like each other. Is it legal to like .. date? Not have sex .. but just date?

well supposebly no but its not like you guys are gonna do something bad&its not hurting anybody!
Like right now theres a 19 year old trying to go with me and im barely 14! but hey if you guys like each other go for it=}

Q: Awright, 16/f. Three of my friends and I are starting a band (ska/punk, if it matters), and we've got some huge plans for this. It's a common dream. Music brought us all together and all that stuff. Well, the only problems is that all of these friends are boys who are 19 or older and my mom either doesn't like them or hasn't met them. They're good guys and I know I'm completely safe around them, but I know that my mom wouldn't approve of them because they're punks. It's gotten to the point where I had to lie to be able to hang out with them, telling mom that i had different plans.
How can we make this band work if my mom decides she doesn't want me hanging out with the guys? Or how to I make it so she can meet them and approve without them having to change their tastes? PLease help!
Thanks,
-JJ Girl

well my mom is the same way but she dont dislike them she just worries about what if they really arent safe.maybe your mom feels the same way.
anyways answering your question talk to your mom and tell her how much this means to you and ask if its ok if you invite them over so she can get to know them.Maybe thats all it is and if she just dosent want you to be with them..well i know this might not be the best advice yet ima say it...if this is your dream live it 2 its fullest no matter what! sure your mom will be mad but youll still be her daugther!haha well hope it works out=]

bio

Wats up?! my name is laura people call me lauris or dee nee wich is short for dulce nina:]
i stay at south central & i can be hella ghetto but ima keep it good for this.
im usually pretty good at listening to peoples problems & i dont know exactly what to say at times or i may not say much at times but when i do it really means alot so feel free to drop me a question if youd like & i promise ill get back:]
if yew wish add me on my yahoo-->dulce_niina
or my myspace just search for abelsandoval@sbcglobal.net