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jealous over mom's boyfriend
14/f
My mom recently got divorced like 2 years ago. She's been dating other men recently and I really haven't had any problems with it...but suddenly she's been dating this one guy she's really interested in (lets call this guy Joe).
I actually like Joe and I don't have a problem with him. But I'm starting to get jealous of the time my mom is spending with him. My mom is always very busy with schoolwork and "paying bills" she says, so she doesn't have a lot of time to do things with me. Now she's with Joe a lot...he comes over a lot...she's on the phone with him a lot...and it upsets me she always tells me she's busy yet she has so much time to be with him. Not only that, but the time my mom and I ARE together, she's in a bad mood.
So I thought the only thing i could do was talk to her about it. I really didn't want to, because I know this man makes my mom happy and I want her to be happy, and I was scared she'd stop seeing him if i told her. But it was bothering me so much, so i talked to her...and she didn't take it so well. She said I was being unreasonable. But she also said she's going to stop seeing him if I really feel this way, and I didn't want that to happen! So now, she's going to dump him because of me even though i begged her not to. I literally told her i would get over it and it's okay, but she simply wouldn't listen and now she's not seeing him anymore. And I feel AWFUL!
All i wanted was for her to spend more time with me. But she thinks she already does, so i'm assuming in her opinion she thinks doing things once a month with me is enough.
So now I don't know what to do...I feel so bad, because this guy she's seeing is a nice guy, and he shouldn't be dumped. And my mom deserves him and deserves to be happy. Now she's all depressed and even moody-er than ever...she was so happy. And I screwed it all up. What should I do???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
just say "mom, i really like joe, but i'm feeling like i dont get to spend enough time with you." and see how it goes. maybe you could plan a day thats just you girls, nails, shopping, the works!
hope i helped.
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In a way, you shouldn't feel bad. Your mom was spending no time with you whatsoever because she was always busy doing other things or spending her time with Joe. You're her daughter, you're always going to be there. Joe isn't. I'm trying not to say you're more important, but you technically are. I mean, you're always going to be her daughter & Joe isn't always going to be her boyfriend. Things happen.
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Anyways, it seems like you have to have another talk with your mom. Tell her that you didn't mean for her to break up with Joe; you just thought you guys should spend a little bit more time with her. Tell her you want her to be happy & that she deserves happiness & if Joe makes her happy then she should be with him. Maybe see if you, your mom & Joe can all hang out together? That way, your mom can spend time with you & Joe at the same time & you can spend time with your mom. If she still doesn't bother to give him a chance, then I would be adult & take matters into your own hands & call Joe & explain things.
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look its not your fault!
your mom i think you need to tell her that all you want is her to balance work and you and her love life equaly [[even tho that is hard]] but damn i dont know if you already told her that you didint want him to leave well i dont know what else to do. maybe talk to him and tell him what it is you felt and tell him to talk to both you and your mom together..maybe all 3 of you work something out and your mom is happy again=]]
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