about

Please note that at this time, I am not accepting questoins. I am having serious doubts about the amount of time and patience that this site requires of me, as well as how I fit into its structure. Becuase of that, I will not be checking advicenators for a while, and thus WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. Here's my intact profile, however, in case I come back.



Welcome to my humble abode... or something.

My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).

I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.

I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?

I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.

Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.

So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!



Requirements

Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.



If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.

advice

This may seem like a weird question to ask, but sometimes i get vaginal discharge. It is like gooey white stuff in my underwear. I read in magazines that is normal when you are about ready to get your first period, but its been along time and i havent gotten my period yet! I wash around there every night and i wear pads to keep it from not killing my underwear but it still smells bad and keep coming! What should i do?

Everyone else is pretty much right. It is normal to get discharge, it will continue after you get your period, and the only thing you can do is wear pantiliners if it feels that gross.

There are a few points that were missed.

Wearing pantiliners for much of the month is going to get old, and it's perfectly okay to get veginal discharge on your panties. It washes right out. Trust me.

Second, vaginal discharge does have a slightly "funny" smell. As long as that smell stays constant, you're okay. If it's the same as it was when you first started getting it, that's just fine. But if the smell ever changes, you should really go to your doctor. Also, if it smells really strong, you should get checked out... if you only notice it when you're changing your pad, then it's fine.

A good rule of thumb is that your vaginal discharge should start clear and dry white or slightly yellowish. If it ever turns white or yellow when wet you MUST see a doctor. This can be a sign of yeast infection or something more serious.

Sorry if this is too much information.

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How can I make myself cry? I seem to have such a hard time with that. And I also have problems with showing other types of emotions. Can anyone help me by giving me any tips. :)

I just think of something really awful and painful to me. Deaths in the family? Dead pets? People dumpin you? Sad facts of human existance? Whatever tears you up the most, use it. Also, if your character is really upset, try to get into character... try to really feel what the character feels. And if all else fails, find something nontoxic, but still annoying, to put in your eyes... If you don't actually have to be seen all read faced, you can put your head in your hands and laugh--if you do it right, it looks and sounds like crying.

For other emotions, try really exaggerating. Or, pretend that you ARE the character; I'm sure you express emotions just fine as your normal self, so if you blur the line between you and the character you should be fine. Good luck!

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Im a 13-f. I've had my period for queit a while now. But the last time I got it was in the middle of February. I used to get it every single month. But all of a sudden, it just doesn't come. Anyone know why?

As one of the other columnists pointed out, if you've had sex fairly recently (last few months or so, just to be safe), then you could be pregnant. Yes, it is possible at your age. In this case, you should take a pregnancy test.

If you haven't had sex, then there are two possibilities--either something is wrong with you, or you're going through the normal menstrual irregularities that kids your age often have.

There are a few problems you could have. One of them could be being underweight. Are you "skinny?" If your body fat level falls below somewhere between 18 and 20%, your menstrual cycles might shut down. If this is the case, you need to gain weight... If you train very hard at athletics (VERY hard. I don't just mean play basketball or softball, I mean like Olympic level training), that can also disrupt your cycle. In either of these cases you should talk to your doctor about it, not on an emergency basis, but just to sort out what you should do next.

There are more serious problems that can happen, but they're rare at our age. If you're concerned about them, or you have other symptoms besides the absence of your period, you might want to go to a gynecologist for a basic check-up. They'll check for major problems and it'll act as a good "baseline" for the future, when you'll have to go to the gynecologist regularly. If nothing else, it'll put your mind at ease...

However, in all likelihood, nothing is wrong. At all.

Teenage cycles tend to be irregular. It's most noticable when you first start, but the weird schedules can last for years afterward. Everyone skips every now and then, but especially at your age. At thirteen, I wouldn't even worry about it. Just relax.

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I have an extra curricualr activity. There's this guy there. His name is Gabriel. He's not the hottest guy in the world, but I think he's totally nice. We have a lot in common. We see eachother once a week, and talk on AIM. We're in different grades. He's in 8th, I'm in 7th. We don't go to the same school, and won't be able to see eachother over the summer. I really care about him, but he doesn't know. My friends think he's ugly, and that even if he is nice, he's not worth it because he's ugly. I don't care about looks so much. I'm really shy too...

What should I do?

Wow, your friends are shallow.

You're right; looks aren't THAT important. It's much better to be with a nice guy than a mean one, even if you do have to make him wear a paper bag.

No, in all seriousness, physical appearance doesn't really mean much. A lot of the sweetest, kindest guys are ugly as all get out... and a lot of the most horrible, mean, controlling people are really, really hot. Of course, hot guys can also be nice and ugly guys can also be mean. Looks really have no bearing on personality.

My advice to you is to tell your friends exactly what you've said here--that you don't care about looks. Remind them that this means there'll be one less girl competing for the hotties they're after; that should straighten them out a little. IF they dump you over dating an ugly boy--a practice that ultimately helps them in their shallow goal of dating a Ken doll--then they aren't really your friends, are they? I know it hurts to think about, but if they're too afraid to be associated with someone who dates an ugly boy, then they really aren't worth your time.

As for him, I suggest you just tell him you're into him. Don't worry about rejection, don't worry about what people will think, just tell him that you like him. Sure, he might reject you, but it's just fine if he does. Even the most happily married people get rejected when they're young--sometimes by the person they end up married to later! Getting turned down is a part of learning how to handle love, and if he turns you down it will be just as good for you as getting accepted.

Just follow your heart, and you'll be fine.

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Well, my B-day is exactly one month from now(may 21st) and i was wondering if anyone had any ideas of kinds of (inexpensive) guy-girl parties. I was thinkin of a kind of message thing with the clues where you have to find them and then they lead you somewhere, but i dunno. I live right next door to a school where there is a soccer/baseball/hardtop. Any suggestions? I rate HIGH! Thanks!
xoxo

You could always do some kind of theme party. You would rent a movie or two that's in line with the theme, offer little party favors for people who come dressed up with the theme, decorate in line with it. It could be kinda cheap. For example, if you did a 70s theme you could rent, oh say, Saturday Night Fever and some other 60s flicks and then get like a fake disco ball or something... You could do 80s or 90s too pretty easily. Rock stars would be good... If you live by one of those dinner-and-jousting type places you could go with a medieval thing...

And hey, if your birthday is on May 21st... If you have it a bit early or late, you could do a Star Wars party (since Episode III premieres on the 19th). I mean, if you like Star Wars, and the other girls like Star wars, it'd work great (I don't know about where you're from, but at my school all the popular boys love Star Wars). You could all go see the movie, and have the boys come dressed up as Jedi Knights or Stormtroopers... get some robes for the girls and youc ould easily be Padme' and her attendants from Episode I.

And no matter what theme you might go with, if you choose a theme, I recommend that you buy pizza. You can't go wrong with pizza. If you go with 70s, make sure to get fondue though :p

Good luck!

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Hi guyz, i was just wondering if it was true that if you have some kindof weird shape mole that means you have cancer, cuz thats what my friend told me and she is really afraid cuz she says she has a weird shaped mole.

Is it true?


~Steph~

I'll try to put all the good advice given into a more usable format.

In people, there are three types of moles. There are normal moles, dysplastic nevi, and melanomas.

Normal moles are small, light brown or flesh-colored, and symmetrical; they are smaller than a pencil eraser. Its normal to get new moles into your twenties, but if they come in normally you should be fine. I have one of these on my face, and you can barely tell it's there.

The "intermediate kind" of moles are called Dysplastic Nevi. They are dark and very large, or sometimes asymmetrical. I have several of these, and I plan on getting them checked out next time I visit a doctor; I have a friend who is practically covered with them. Dysplastic nevi are more likely to turn into cancer than normal moles, and most of the time they're quite ugly anyway (although not always; Enrique Iglesias looked really good with his :p). They can be miscolored, and they're usually very large. Many doctors advocate having these removed.

Melanomas are usually large, dark brown, black, blue, or red, and assymetrical--often, a lot like dysplastic nevi. They change shape or size, bleed, hurt, etc. Melanoma is a VERY DEADLY, very FAST form of cancer. If you catch it early, then survival rates are good, but once it metastisizes (I may have spelled that wrong), it's OVER. They removed one of these from my grandfather, but it had already spread and he died a few years later. With dysplastic nevi and melanoma, it's important to act quickly, but there's no need to worry--at your friend's age, it's probably just a dysplastic nevus.

The biggest thing to look out for is change. Some of that intermediate kind of mole are weird, but they stay the same. It's when they begin to change that you're likely to have a melanoma on your hands (or trunk, or face...).

With dysplastic nevi, they have a very high risk of turning into cancer, and should probably eventually be removed, or at the very least checked out by a doctor.

It is my recommendation that you have your friend talk to her GP (or general practitioner; basically her regular doctor) about the mole. He or she can examine it and tell her what to do next better than I could.

If you're wondering how I know so much about this, it's becuase melanomas run in my family; in the last 20 years two members of my family got melanomas, and one of them died. The victims in my family were in their 60s and 40s respectively, but melanoma does occasionally happen in teens and twenty-somethings, so it's important that your friend get that mole checked out the next time she has the chance.

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Hey. I was wondering if anyone knew a site or somewhere I can find informatin about the average weighted and unweighted gpas of high school valedictorians and salutatorians.
If not, can you tell me what you *think* the average is?
Thanks.

I couldn't speak for a national average (I'm bad at math; that's why I'm the probable Salutatorian and not the probable Val :p), but the GPA of the Val/Sal varies heavily from school. At very small, rural schools the Val GPA could be as low as 3.5 or 3.8. As you go to more urban, populated schools, the average val GPA seems to go up, stopping at 4.0 minimum for very large schools. This is probably raw unweighted, although some schools might require a 4.0 weighted.

As another person said, the average is probably hovering around 3.8 or 3.9. I myself am probably going to be the Sal of my class, and I have a 3.771. I think my class's Val has something like a 3.78... but we go to a small, rural school with a graduating class of less than 40 students, and we've never really had intense competition--there were plenty of kids who were smart enough to pass us, but all of them were either too lazy or too busy to do it.

What I'm wondering is, why are you asking? Are you wondering about your own class status? Are you wondering about a friend? Are you curious as to whether you might have the potential to be Val or Sal in your class? If that's the case, here's some advice for you:

- Take your electives seriously. That B in Spanish will come back to bite you in the butt your senior year
- Don't slack off, especially your sophomore or senior years
- Don't overburden yourself with extracurriculars
- If you struggle in a class, GET HELP.
- Don't take easy electives just to raise your GPA. You'll feel bad later, even if you had no choice in the matter.
- Don't let your GPA stop you from taking classes you need or want. Ultimately, it's just a number. If you need chem, but are going to get a B in it, give your GPA the finger and take it anyway. It's more important to learn than tow win.
- Stay informed. That way you can spot problems as they come up. Your counselor should offer GPA updates and transcripts every semester.

Whatever's going on, good luck with it.

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ok I have a thing in my family where I can only wear 14K gold earrings or ill get an infection..and well i really like these kinda earings ( http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=255499 ) just i know my mom wont let me get them..bc they arent 14K n i kno she wont let me make the hole in my ear bigger..but doesnt ne one know if i can get real 14K earrings likethoughs?..i dont like wearing really girly earings i only have these cute pair..which i think my sister stole from me..n then sliver studs...my mom also said i could get those earrings if they were 14K n regular size!! plz help thx in advance!!

Actually, I'm pretty sure what you're talking about isn't an infection, but actually an allergy--a nickel allergy. Nickel is used to make most jewelry, including gold jewlery, but the molecular structure of gold makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the nickel to leech out. Most high-quality silvers are safe, too, unless you get them wet.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do for a nickel allergy except avoid the items that make it flare up. If you react strongly to earrings that aren't high-quality gold, then you need to avoid them. I had to give up belts becuase the nickel in the buckles gave me a rash on my bellybutton, and I can't wear my class ring (which is a silver-platinum alloy) if my hands get wet.

If your allergy isn't that bad, you could talk to her about getting these for special occasions... but these aren't exactly the kind of earrings you'd want to wear to prom. I would just count them out and look for gold and silver earrings. Yes, I know you can only wear 14k gold, but if you're anything like me, a little silver on special occasions won't mess you up unless you get them wet.

Personally, I would save up and look for small gold hoops. They're feminine, but they aren't really girly, and if they're the moderately expensive kind they shouldn't aggravate your nickel allergy.

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i'm 13 and not allowed to wear make up. my mom thinks i'm too young (what's the big deal, though? it's not like i'll turn into a slut or something!). my dad.... anyway! i was wondering if there was something kind of like make up or something or whatever any tiups on how i can look prettier like i would with make up but is not very noticable (except it makes me look a little better). ways to make my lashes longer, little bit rosier cheeks, whatever. but as long it doesn't make me look cheap or anything. if this helps, i'm a brunnette, darkish beige skin, lightish brown eyes, full (but not huge) lips. i'll rate 5's to everyone who helps.

At your age, I really don't advocate going against your parents' advice. There are a lot of ways you can look better without wearing makeup. For example, start using a mild acne wash if you have acne, and make sure to wash and moisturize your face twice a day. Get plenty of sleep, drink enough water, and eat right. That alone will make your face look better. Also, try to wear lip balms--some of them have a slight gloss to them, but they also moisturize your lips, keeping them from geting cracked or rough.

If you must wear makeup, I would suggest "grooming" makeup rather than "enhancement" makeup. Clear mascara, for example, will serve two very important purposes--defining your lashes without making them seem darker, and grooming your eyebrows. Just swipe the brows with it to keep them in line.

You might always want to consider a LIGHT eyeshadow in a pale peach or lavender--whatever color your eyelids seem to be. It shouldn't be enough to look like you're wearing makeup, it shouldn't stand out AT ALL. The purpose of the eyeshadow won't be to call attention to your eyes, but rather to cover up some of the veins in your eyelid.

Glossy lip balms are always a plus, and you can often get away with them ont he grounds that they're (usually flavored) lip balms.

If you need coverage for zits or blotchiness, go with concealer, and possibly tinted moisturizer, IF you can get away iwth that much. DO NOT pick foundation. It will be a dead giveaway, and you shouldn't need it at your age anyway.

I really think you shouldn't disobey your parents' wishes at this point, but if you must, focus on correcting blemishes and discrepancies, and maintaining healthy skin, rather than emphasizing and coloring things.

Also, you might want to talk to your mom about some of the methods I mentioned--clear mascara, a peach eyeshadow, a glossy balm, concealer, tinted moisturizer, etc. Ask her if you can take it one step at a time, just one product, with a natural, problem-solving approach. Ask her for compromise, and don't move onto the kind of makeup that older teens wear without her approval. Explain to her why you want to wear makeup, reasons that don't apply, and that you're willing to compromise a little and ease into it. If you can show her that you're responsible, determined, and respectful, you have a better chance of earning her approval.

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hey, it seems like you give amazing, and really thorough advice on makeup, so i was just wondering if you could help me.
i'm 18 years old, and have never really worn a lot of makeup, but prom's coming up and i want to look my best. i have really fair skin that's pretty sensitive as well, brown eyes (that sometimes turn hazel) and long brown hair. i have an oval shaped face, with a narrow chin, high cheekbones, and a small nose. i hope that's enough information...
thank you so much!

I actually don't know as much as I seem to; I don't wear makeup much myself. Plus, my face shape is much different than yours, so what works for me may not work for you. I suggest that you try out any and all techniques you would consider in advance.

If you have sensitive skin, you should really try to go with as little as possible.

First, before you do anything, use some kind of facial masque or scrub. Foundation and concealer cake on dry, flaky skin, so look for something that exfoliates.

Since it's prom, you don't need to focus so much on coverage, so I'd go with a tinted moisturizer or even an UNTINTED facial moisturizer so you have a base to start with, rather than foundation. And don't forget concealer; concealer is the most important kind of makeup in all existance for teenagers.

With prom, you want either dramatic eyes, or dramatic lips. It's up to you to choose either. There's only one situation where both works, and that's the Goth look, and even then one must take precedence over the other.

If you want dramatic eyes, go for dark mascara and eyeliner, and an eyeshadow theme that's either very bright or very dark. I tend to prefer sultry and dark, and it'll create more contrast with your pale skin... but it might also give you a goth look, so tread carefully. I would try to either match your dress or your accessories, depending on the colorscheme you've chosen (for example, you don't want to match your dress if it's black and white). Lighter base coat, dark crease, and potentially some medium accenting. Keep it simple. The mascara and eyeliner are key--you may want to match them to your dress, if it's darker, but otherwise I'd go with black. Don't go totally goth, but make your mascara more ornate than the "popular" girls' on a regular day.

If you choose dramatic eyes, go with a simple stain in a muted color that matches your skintone, and then top it with a light gloss. If you don't know, most people do staining by putting on lipstick, and then blotting it off so only a matte remnant of it remains. But this will dry out your lips, so try to get a balm/gloss hybrid. Or, you could pick a simple shade of lipstick. All about personal preference.

If you want dramatic lips, then pick either a very bright or very dark color, that matches your dress, accessories, or skin tone. if you go with a black dress or white dress, the dramatic color you'd want would be blood red. Don't go with blue or green lipstick unless you want to look glittergoth. When you've gotten a color, line your lips with either a matching liner, or a liner that's the same color as your lips, and then put on the lipstick. After that, you may want to put a very shiny gloss over it; that's what I did last year. This is optional though.

If you choose dramatic lips, then go with a single coat of mascara, a medium eyeliner in a very simple, thin line, and a brown or purple eyeshadow theme (depending on your skintone). For the eyeshadow, use the same technique as I gave for the dramatic eyes, but neutral, natural colors that won't be noticable, but will still make your eyes "pop" a little. Whether you should use brown, purple, or even a brownish green depends on your skin tone and the apparent color of your eyelids. Look at what color your veins in your eyelid seem to be without makerup; that's how you can tell.

For your cheekbones, get a dark, dark blush that matches your skin undertones--that means pinkish or purplish if you're a cool and a reddish or orangish color if you're a warm. Don't know? If you tend to look better in purples and blues, you're a cool, and if you look best in oragnes and yellows, your a warm. Anyway, once you get your blush, VERY LIGHTLY brush it across your cheekbones--just the cheekbones. Make sure that you CANNOT TELL that you're wearing blush. It's dramatic without being histrionic :p If you put too much blush on, you will look like either a lady of the street or a stage actress, and I don't think you want to look like either.

If you have oily skin, you'll want a light translucent powder to brush onto oily spots as the night wears on. If you have drier skin, you can get away without it. If powder bothers your skin, get blotting papers. They work WONDERS.

For ALL the cosmetics you choose, make sure they're labelled "noncomedogenic" and "hypoallergenic." The former means that they don't cause acne, and the latter means they don't cause allergic reactions. These labels actually don't mean much from a legal standpoint, but thsee days a product that refuses to make these claims probably isn't a good bet for us sensitive skin types.

Also, if you don't wear makeup, expect it to itch at first. Don't worry about that; a little itching is totally normal. It's if the itching gets bad or you get a rash, THEN you have a problem. If that happens, get RID of it; you may want to throw a travel size facial cleanser in your purse.

To prevent any missed opportunities due to allergic reactions, get your pictures as SOON as is PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. Even if you don't have an allergic reaction, it'll wear down as the night goes on.

I hope I helped. If this isn't enough, or you need clarification, feel free to contact me outside of this site--I'm availible on AIM and through my LJ and I think I have my e-mail listed. And remember, I'm no expert; I barely wear makeup myself. I speak from the experience I have and the extensive reading I've done on the subject, as well as my own artistic tastes.

And for the future, I recommend you browse those teenybopper magazines and websites a little--you know, like seventeen and YM. I know, they're not the most engaging reading, but I learned everything I know about makeup either from them or from my Mary Kay consultant. :p

Good luck!

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Ok, well I have REALLY dark circles under my eyes! I don't how to get rid of them , and i get almost 9 hours of sleep! Ive tried falling asleep earlier, but it wouldn't work even if i could actually fall asleep earlier. I hate them and they look so ugly! Any ideas of how i can get rid of these ugly things, or at least cover them up?

Have you been diagnosed with allergies? If not, you should consider seeing an allergist and being tested. I used to have bad dark circles, and when I went to the allergist he said that allergies could be part of what caused them. My allergies have improved over the years and so have my dark circles, but thery seem to be the least visible when I actually take my allergy medication. So, you might want to try getting to an allergist. Good luck!

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I have a friend that has been drinking and stuff. I've told her not to but i know she doesn't care. And now everybody is all like yeah i drink a lot and i've gotten drunk and smoked that. It seems like everybody smokes and drinks! it's crazy we're all still young! I don't do that kind of stuff and I feel weird like ppl think it's no big deal drinking and i say it's wrong and they think i'm weird. I'm so confused! does everybody do the drugs? i'm not going to start doing them but should i still speak up and say they're wrong?

Sadly, sadly, most kids in high school do drink, smoke, and experiment with drugs. It isn't normal to refrain from them, but it IS healthy. I think it's great that you're not getting involved in that stuff, and I encourage you not to.

However, that's not your question. Your question is about what you should do about it outside of refraining. While it's importnat that you make your opinions about it relatively well-known, you have to be careful. Don't condemn it as immoral or stupid, or you will alienate your peers. On the other hand, don't condone it either.

I would recommend that you do what I do--instead of fretting about getting involved in it, just try to get your friends to be safe and responsible. Encourage them to have designated drivers, use moderation, be careful, etc. If you end up at a party with them, watch their drink if they have to leave for the bathroom or something, so no one can tamper with them. If one of them has an addiction, be there for them. If theyt ask you about your stance on the debauchery, go ahead and tell them that you don't think it's a good idea, but add that that's your opinion.

I know it seems stupid, like you're selling out. But not really. You're just putting yourself in a position to help them deal with it. You can't stop them, so just try to get them to be safe.

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Makeup/tips for lookin good for a:
Any tips/ suggestions for a girl that is 13 dark skin, black hair, brown eyes and tall[5 10/11]?[not heavy makeup]suggestions

Well, you're thirteen, so I would advise that you take it easy on the makeup. I know, everyone wears all these bright, wild colors... But understated makeup is where it's at. If you can tell you're wearing makeup, you're wearing too much... you don't want to look like a clown, do you?

Anyway, I recommend you start with a concealer, to take care of undereye circles and zits. Just dab it on and pat to blend. You want to use a shade that's lighter than your skintone on your undereyes, but not too much--just a tich.

If you have very blotchy skin, go with a very light, thin, oil-free foundation. If you have more even skin, use a light, oil-free tinted moisturizer. This is an important step; it provides a base for the rest of your makeup and covers up blotchiness. Just make sure to blend well and make sure your foundation is a PERFECT match to your skintone.

For your eyes, it all depends on your lashes. Do you have thick, dark, dramatic lashes? If so, then use a coat of brown or black mascara, and don't bother with eyeliner. If your eyelashes aren't dramatic, you'll want to use black mascara and a dark brown or black eyeliner--applied in a THIN line. It's all about making your eyes pop, not about getting black stuff in your eye.

For shadow, I suggest going muted, but sultry. Shades of brown work for everyone, but the best way to go is to colormatch your eyelid. Get up in a mirror and look at the apparent "color" of your eyelid. Does it seem purplish? Greenish? Bluish? Whatever you pick, you need to pick a darker, but muted, version of the same, and a few lighter shades in the same color family.

For example, my eyelids seem to be a very light purplish color, so I take a few shades of purple. I coat my whole eyelid, up to the brow, with a light one, and, using a technique I learned from a Mary Kay consultant, I put a small, well-blended stroke of dark purple in the crease of my eye, and swing it down to where my eyeliner would be. You want to pick a muted version of your own little "skintone" and do the same. Greenish? use a muted, warm green and a light green. Bluish? Use a dark cadet blue-gray and maybe a light blue.

For lips, I suggest a muted gloss. Too glossy and you look like a little kid trying to be cool. Too muted and you miss the point. I have good luck with Smackers, but I tend to go more subdued than you seem to want to.

For blush, pick a shade that's a little darker than your skin color, but not much, and lightly brush across your cheekbone, and dab once on your forehead. Blend well, and make sure you don't get too much. You look REALLY trashy if you overdo blush... you shouldn't be able to tell you're wearing any.

Lastly, get some translucent powder, or powder that's your skin color, and brush it over everythin to set it. Just lightly. This'll help control shine; and believe me, all of us teenagers need shine control.

If you wear too much makeup, or makeup that's too dark, you will look like a total clown... or worse yet, you'll blend in. If you want to stand out, muted and natural is the way to go. You can be sexy without being sexed up... It's all about being confident in your own skin, and what better way to do that than to play up your own natural coloration? Best of luck.

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I want to dye my hair... not permanent, but not too temporary. I found a hair dye that's made by L'Oreal, called Color Pulse, that comes in a color that I would like for my hair. I have dark brown hair, and Color Pulse supposidly works on dark hair. It lasts for 8-10 shampoos, and also contains no peroxide or ammonia.

Has anyone used this before? What do you think? Is there anyother types of dyes that you would recommend in place of this? I am looking for a dark purpleish plumish type color, if that helps.

Thanks!

There should be no harm in using temporary or semipermanent hairdye, regardless of the brand, but I wouldn't expect it to work.

As I understand it, most dyes work by being absorbed into the actual strand of hair, so they don't wash out... It's like staining a rag. Even semi- and demi-permanent dyes do this. It's much easier to "stain" your hair if it's damaged, becuase the dye can seep into the hair through the tight outer layer. This is why people often use peroxide or ammonia before dying.

If you have healthy hair, it won't work well. You have to damage your hair for it to stick. Further, since you have dark hair, any color is just going to make your hair look black with a funny colored shine in the light. I tried going violet for prom last year, and I have very healthy, dark brown hair. It all but washed out before I even made it to the ballroom.

So, if you dye your hair without bleaching, expect to get about one shampoo out of the dyejob, NOT counting the one to rinse the dye off the surface of your hair immediately after you get it done. And if your hair is dark, or even medium brown, expect it to look black no matter what color you use.

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i have a guy friend that i like for a while and i still do like him and he likes me one problem is that he gots a gf and we close and he always tells me that he loves me and we can talk for hours and not worry about who knows we talking but my question is is it a bad thing that he has more feeling for me and not his gf? plz help!

Yes, it is a bad thing, and you should keep your distance.

To be honest, I'd stay away from this guy. For one, if his girlfriend is your friend, and you and he date, it'll probably make her very angry. Boyfriends come and go, but real friends in high school are hard to come by. Plus, if she's popular enough she could start some nasty rumors... and while that's no good reason not to do something, it is an annoyance and a hassle that will make a turbulent time even worse.

Further, if he will do this to his girlfriend, what do you think he'll do to you when you're dating him? There's an off chance that he really genuinely loves you, but I'm guessing that you're in high school or junior high, and at that age it's not very likely. Even if he does care about you, this doesn't speak well for his honesty. There's no way for you to know if everything he says to you is a lie too.

I think you should distance yourself from him. Tell him that you want to be his friend, but you can't because what you're doing would hurt your friend. Break it off. If he takes it well, then keep quiet; if he doesn't, or tries to do anything, tell her.

You want to avoid telling her if you can, becuase she'll blame the messenger and see you just as being just as guilty as him. But if she asks, pony up, or else you'll be in for a world of trouble. Whatever happens, BE HONEST when asked. Don't lie, don't cover up. Tell the truth. It may cause some hurt in the short term but it'll be less embarassing and better for you in the long run.

Just remember, at our age, it's more important to have friends than to have boyfriends.

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Hey, I'm 13/F and I just got my period in January. I had it for 6 days. I haven't gotten it since!! It's the end of March now which means I skipped two months?? I know I'm not pregnant (I have no idea how to spell it)
Is something wrong with me???

Hey, don't worry about it.

When you first start having your period, your body has no idea what it's doing. It's sort of like when you first start learning a dance--you know what you're supposed to do, but you don't have the rhythm or finesse needed to do it right, so you just sort of stumble through. Eventually, with time and practice, you get it right. Your body is doing the same thing right now; it has to synchronize a lot of glands and organs to actually have a period.

For the first few years after you start getting your period, it's very normal for you to skip regularly, or have no pattern to your cycle. I wouldn't worry unless you skip more than two or three months. It takes a few years for your body to figure out what it's supposed to do, ans since you shouldn't be having kids anyway at this point, it's not like it's a problem.

Even after you start to even out, it's still normal for your cycle to change... It's even normal to skip periods sometimes. I regularly miss months when I get stressed out, and I've had my period for over seven years now. The only time you need to worry about skipping is when it goes on for more than a few months, when it's accompanied by weird and extreme symptoms, or you've had sex recently.

Of course, there are a few things you can do, both to ensure that you get your period, and to stay healthy otherwise. If you're worried about not getting it, there are two major causes that might be interefering--stress and diet. If you're under a lot of stress, that can cause it to be late, seem weird, or stop altogehter. Also, if you don't have enough body fat--at least 20%--then that can make you stop menstruating. So if you're on the skinny side, you might want to try to gain a little weight; however, I doubt that's the case.

I could give you some advice here about what to do about sex and your monthly cycle from now on, but you'd probably find that patronizing. However, I will drop a few pearls of wisdom.

I recommend waiting, at the very least, until your cycles even out and stay that wat for a few years before having sex, so there's less chance of a surprise, and so that you'll be more emotionally ready for it. Don't jump into anything, and use protection when you do.

Also, you really should try to keep track of your cycle, whether you're sexually active or not. Just put a little dot on your calender on period days or something, if you don't like keeping track. Also, www.mymonthlycycles.com has a good period tracker, that lets you keep track of your period dates, spotting, and PMS symptoms, and you can find printable calendars and things all over the internet. This way, if something does go wrong, you can trace it.

Lastly, you might want to talk to your mom about seeing a gynecologist. Everything sounds normal, but wouldn't you like someone with a degree in this stuff to tell you that? Plus, an exam after you first get your period can act as a good baseline for later visits when you're an adult, and the doctor can teach you all about self breast exams.

If you need any more advice, feel free to contact me, either at my column, my LJ, or over AIM. I'm sure most of the other girls who replied would be glad to help out, too. Almost all women have been where you've been and most have worried about the same thing, but at this point, there's really no cause for concern.

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Hi everyone, I'm 14/f and I was j/w if it would be bad if I eventually went out with a 19 year old guy. I'm going to be 15 in May. I've been talking to this guy for a year now. He seems really really sweet, but we haven't met yet. I just feel like I'm starting to like him now. We were going to go see a movie one time, but we didn't end up going because it was really late. I decided not to go. He always used to say I'm too young and everything, so he was afraid to meet me, but then all of a sudden that one time he was going to go somewhere with me. He doesn't seem to care about my age all that much now. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but I'm just saying if we met and everything, would it be wrong for me to be going out with a 19 year old? In my opinion, it's not that bad. I know we could both get in trouble, but he's really sweet. I've talked to a lot of people that I don't know on the internet, and he doesn't seem like one of those guys that only cares about sex. He never tries to talk about it with me like other gross guys do. I was also wondering how I could maybe hint to him when I'm talking to him on the internet again that I like him. I'll probably be talking to him tomorrow night. If we ever met also, what are some suggestions as to where we could meet and hang out since it'll be the first time. If anyone can, please answer! I just want a few suggestions. I'm soo very sorry that this question is so long. And I also know that you'll probably tell me it's a big age difference, but age shouldn't matter if you really like someone right? You could always keep the relationship a secret, and not do anything illegal with that person until your old enough and you know you won't get in trouble. If your nice when you answer, and you give good advice I'll rate you a 5!!!! Thank you so much again, and sorry about the length. :-)

Well, I personally think you shouldn't date him. Four years isn't a big age difference when you're adult, but when you're a teenager it can mean a lot. I know that you say that age doesn't matter, and when you're older it really doesn't, but you're not older, you're fourteen. You may not think so, but you're still maturing mentally and physically at a rate substantially higher than that of an adult, and he is too, but he's got a four year advantage on you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't date him eventually, just not now--if you really care about him, wait until you can devote more of yourself to the relationship and understand what's going on better. Wait until you're sixteen or so, at the very least.

I mean, he's what, in college, graduated, or dropped out, or at the very most a senior, and you must be in eighth ot ninth grade. You may like him now, but the relationship will be weird; you and he will probably have different priorities becusae you're at different stages in your life.

That doesn't mean that you can't be friends though. In fact, I would encourage you to stay friends with him. It's always nice to have people of different age groups and stuff to talk to; I don't know what I'd do without all of my older friends I met online. The difference in perspective is always nice.

If you do choose to meet him, though, it is IMPERITIVE that you take your parents, or some other trusted adult. Don't tell him where you live, though, and meet him in a public place with the adult. And tell him in advance that you aren't going to have sex with him, no matter what, and you're bringing and adult, just to be clear. If you do that, meeting him should be pretty safe. Watch his reaction to being told there'll be an adult too; if it seems weird, he might be hiding something.

And most importantly, be guarded, but hopeful. Don't convince yourself that he's a crazyt stalker, or you'll alienate him, but don't go in thinking that everything is perfect and safe either. Most people are good, honest people, but the liars always seem most honest of all, which is why you have to be guarded with everyone, especially people that you don't know and trust. Boys you meet online are no exception, no matter how much you like them.

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ok i have this pimple that is like smaller than a pin head. the only problem is that it is so full of like puss and junk that it is white. i have tan skin so it REALLY shows up. the other thing is that it is like right where the outside curve of my nostril meets my face. so it is sort of hidden in a crease but still really noticable. my mom wont bring me anywhere to go get anykind of nutregina or anything so i need a home remedy on how to get rid of this bugger. like putting some kind of food on it or something. i need help and i need it fast.

Well, I know that this flies in the face of what every health professional will say, but if you're that desperate, just pop it. It'll decrease the whiteness, and if you squeeze it right and get all the goo out it should go away. Still, don't make a habbit of squeezing; it's not good for your skin.

Acne stuff wouldn't have an immediate effect anyway.

However in the long term, you really need to look into skincare. I know it will be hard, but you need to get it done, or else you'll just have this problem over and over again.

If you don't have many acne problems, you might want to look into a gentle facial cleanser--Velocity from Mary Kay is nice, as are Dove cleansing cloths. If your skin is more acne prone, go for Noxzema moisturizing or regular Noxzema. And if you have really bad acne in general, get Noxzema Triple Clean. That stuff is powerful.

Whatever you do, you need a two or three step facial regimine--cleanse, tone, and moisturize.

Cleansing is the most important step. Make sure your cleanser fits your skin type. Do NOT scrub, whatever you do. Just gently put it on and wash it off. I suggest the cleanser on before shower, stepping in, and rinsing it off. You should cleanse twice a day--before bed and after waking (and probably after brushing your teeth).

Toning is sort of optional, and many cleansers have toners built in.

And then moisturizing. This is importnat, even if you have acne-prone skin. Choose an oil-free moisturizer that goes with your facial cleanser if you can... Alternatively, a moisturizing cleanser may cut this step out. Still, if you moisturize, do it every time you wash.

If you need help getting these, you can get most Noxzema variants at any dollar store or grocery store, as well as major supermarkets. Dove cleansing cloths are a bit harder to find, but are found in basically the same places. If you want to give the Mary Kay products a try, go to Marykay.com and search for a local representative. Unfortunately, you can only get Mary Kay through sales reps.

Neutrogena didn't work too well for me, but everyone is different.

There are other products, of course, but I haven't tried them and I couldn't tell you how well they work. However, I'm sure other columnists have tried them and could give you their take.

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i dont know everyone always says "your to abusive" because ill hit guys and stuff just messing around but i guess that is my way of flirting with them but it dosent work aparently what are some ways i could be nicer or just flirt in a more gentle way? thank you.

It's okay to hit guys as a method of flirting.. a LITTLE. However, I get the impression that you're taking it too far. Are you hitting them hard? Are you hitting them a lot, or for no reason? it's really only appropriate to hit guys as a flirting technique when they say something offensive, either jokingly or seirously, and even then, not too hard. Don't hit them hard enough to hurt.

If you hit guys for real, you become one of the guys in their minds, unless they said something really, really hurtful. This is because they can't handle a woman being more "masculine" than they are. Be a little more mellow in your flirting, and you should be okay.

Just don't change yourself to fit their image, either. I mean, actually hitting them is sort of antisocial, but don't change your interests or your style or anything just to attract boys. It may work better in the short term, but in the long run it'll just cause more heartache, for you and for them. Change the flirting technique, not the flirt herself.

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ok...there is this girl at my school who is like friends with everybody...and shes is friends with me ...well at least i think... but everytime somebody has a party she is the one who hands out the invitations and she looks right at me and doesnt give me one (we talk all the time ) does she have a problem with me?

There are two possible answers to this, but both ultimately have the same solution.

The first answer is that yes, she does have a problem with you.

The second answer is that no, she doesn't have a problem with you, but she can't invite you becuase it would hurt her popularity.

Regardless of which is true, she's not a good friend. You need to not take it, or anything else she says or does, personally. It's fine to hang out with her at school and stuff, but don't let her get under your skin. Don't consider her a friend, becuase she's not. She may like you or whatever, but if she does, she doesn't have the guts to stand up for you, and doesn't deserve the title of friend. It doesn't mean she's bad or that you can't talk to her, just that you can't depend on her. If you keep that in mind, you should be just fine. Just hang in there. ^^

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