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carayotie@gmail.comMember Since:
March 25, 2007Answers:
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Hey there! I'm Carey. I'd love to hear from you so don't hesitate to ask me anything! I'll reply to you the best way I can. Feel free to even send me an email!xo
advice
i was very very deeply hurt by a person 4 years back ,i have no contact with him for past 2 years,but now i heard that he got ms orthopaedics in good college,on hearing this i felt jealousy and unhappy,sad.i am 25 years old.i am from india.i am doing md community medicine .initially i was content with my career but now i felt discontent by comparing with him like that he will earn more money,he will get more recognition,approval than me.need advice please
Id say that's definitely a normal reaction especially since he hurt you. Let's say he didn't hurt you then you'd wish him all the best right? Although it's difficult to not compare, try to remind yourself why you have chosen that career. If you were content with it before then I'm sure that this feeling of uncertainty and jealousy will pass. Just keep on doing as you are and try not to compare yourself to him or anyone else for that matter. Jealousy can only make problems if you let it :) Keep working hard and you'll get all of the recognition you deserve!
Xoxo take care!
i am doing md in community medicine . i can t able to handle the rude senior person in my work place.when they make criticism on me i feel like crying.i m 24 years old.i am away from home.i have no friends here.there is no interest in my life. morning wakeup,then job,then home watching tv,studying sleep then next day and continues.i am feeling self pity because there is no recognition for me in my work place. i feel that there is no approval for me because my friends are doing md /ms in clinical subjects ,this make me self pity .i am from india .need advice
That's tough. It's hard to be in a new place or job atmosphere and not know anyone and the same old routine can be tiring. And trying to break the routine can be stressful because it feels like you won't have time to do the things that you need to get done example: studying.
As hard as it is, try and find something different that interests you. A new hobby, maybe a book club, even look into going to a gym, anything that'll help you meet people.
As for work, just mind your own business and do what needs to get done. It takes a lot of time to find your place at a job. Not every job atmosphere will click right away.
Stay strong and remember why you're doing what you're doing. If you love it, then focus on that. And if in the long run you're not happy with it, then there are always other opportunities out there to look into :)
Xoxo
Take care
I am a divorced 42 year old man. I have been dating this woman for a little over three weeks. I know it's silly but this girl has really got a hold on me. I can never remember feeling like this in my life. I am in love with this girl but I don't want to scare her away or have her think that I am not sincere. I can't stand the thought of loosing her before I even have her. I want to tell her how I feel but I don't know if it is wise. I don't expect her to feel the same. Are there any women out there that can tell me if it's a good idea to tell her yet?
It kind of depends on the type of person she is. Is she someone looking to be invested in someone? You can always drop subtle hints that show how much she means to you and judge her reactions, that way you can decide based on her reactions if she would appreciate what you have to say. flowers are always a good start, cards too :) I'm sure regardless she'll love to hear what she means to you.
Good luck!
xo
I was wondering, what do you do with your life besides this website?
I am a full time student, spend time with friends and the boyfriend, maintain a home, etc Prob the same things you do :) thanks for asking! xo
So I recently started dating this guy. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met and is a true gentlemen. And I know that in a relationship he would be everything a good boyfriend should be. The only problem is i don't find him very attractive. Don't get me wrong when i first met him at a party i was defiantly interested in him. He is just a bit heavy set and not my type at all. I don't want to be shallow and i feel like i should give him a chance. But would it be wrong for me to lead him on if I'm not even sexually attracted to him at all?
thanks to anyone who takes a minute to read this and give me some advice :)
I was reading an article in the July issue of cosmopolitan magazine, saying that it's okay to have a guy like you a little more than you like him. you're less likely to get hurt by him. It's an interesting read! You should check it out if you can :)
But if your second guessing being with him, then maybe he's not the one. You don't want to be stuck in a relationship and get nothing out of it. Be honest with yourself :)
Xoxo
My boyfriend just left to basic camp training and he has been away for about 4 weeks now. The problem is that he broke up with me before he left because he thought that it would be better for our relationship. I really do not agree. He wants to keep our communication going even though we are not really "together" and it is making me emotionally unstable. How can I deal with this situation when I love this person so much that I don't want to lose him? He will be gone for a 1 year and about 7 months after Basic Camp Training but he still wants me to visit him and still talk as if nothing has happened. What should I do? I need help!
He can't have his cake and eat it too. But at the same time he probably doesn't want to tie you down incase you find someone else who can be there for you everyday physically. If you want to be with him, tell him that and tell him you are willing to wait. If you don't want to wait then tell him that to and let him know that pretending like nothing happened bothers you. Military relationships are tough but they are doable. It just takes a lot of patience and commitment. Their lives with undoubtedly change, so maybe he doesn't want to drag you through the ringer but still wants your support. An open honest conversation will probably clear up a lot for the both of you. I'm in a military relationship so I know the feeling.
xoxo take care
Two days ago, I lost my virginity. I'm 16 years old, and I had only been on one pack of birth control. However, it's the kind with only three weeks worth, the last week open for when you have your period. I had finished the pack about 5 days before I had sex and my period lasted about 3 or 4 days, very light. Obviously the day after it ended was when I lost it. He had only entered me twice because of the pain, and even then only about 3 inches. We were not using protection. I've had stomach aches for the past couple days and as stupid as it sounds, it's freaking me out. What are the chances of me being pregnant?
Odds are you probably aren't pregnant. I'm sure you've gotten the "use protection" lecture but from what you've said you shouldn't worry. Your period is the uterus shedding the lining that is needed to reproduce. Since you just finished your period, your lining hasn't had time to develop through the cycle yet, and typically after your period it takes a week or so for an "egg" to be there to fertilize. Especially if he didn't finish inside of you, then you shouldn't worry.
Use protection next time to avoid the stress ;)
xoxo
20/f - I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about a year and a half ago, and since then, things between us have been really convoluted and messy. For the first few months, he wanted to get back together with me, but when I finally decided to consider it, he said he'd changed his mind. We decided to be friends, but since we go to schools in different states, we never talked much anyway. I had finally moved on and stopped thinking about all of this when he contacted me again, making things really confusing. Since we'd agreed to be friends, he never told me directly that he still had feelings for me, but the things that he said implied it because they weren't things that a person would normally say to a friend. He kept asking to see me and hang out with me when I returned from school, but since I've been back, he hasn't talked to me at all. I know that many people say that exes can't be friends, but I thought that I'd give it a shot anyway because we had been really good friends before we got together. The truth is that I don't know if I still have feelings for him, and I was going to determine it by seeing him again, but since he seems so indecisive about how he feels about me, I don't know what to do. I guess that I seem really indecisive as well, but it just feels like every time I make some progress in leaving this behind, he comes back into my life and I become unsure of things again.
Hey there!
It really sucks when you break up with someone after being with them for such a long time, so obviously it'll take time to move on. Sounds to me like he doesn't know how to move on, and being indecisive just shows that he's probably just lonely. Just like girls, it's easy to fall back to the ex when your feeling lonely right? Dont let his back and forth pull you in. I'm sure there was a reason for the break up and if it would be this confusing to get back together then that would probably just lead into continuing a confusing relationship. If he really wants to be with you, he'll make the effort to see you and communicate :) I know it's hard since he was part of your life for a long time, but everything happens for a reason. If its meant to be you two will end up back together and things won't be confusing or complicated, it'll just feel right.
xoxo
Take care!
Hi Caray,
I really admire your advice that you give to everyone else, so I really just need an opinion/advice on my life right now if you have the time. Thank you so much!
20/f. I have been with my bf for 18 months now, and sometimes I contemplate whether or not we will be together forever or if I am wasting my time. We have so much fun together and definitely lots in common, but we also have very big differences as well, such as some of my friends obviously don't like him, and my family is not a fan of him either. As for his friends and family, they love me. There isn't a really solitified reason why some of my friends and family don't like him, it just kind of came to be that way. I'm also very outgoing and social, with lots of friends; he has one good friend, and two other casual friends. It may not seem like a big difference, but it is when it comes down to making plans and lifestyles, etc. As my last point, sometimes I think he can be a bit immature for our age, but only with his not having a job reasoning, and how he never pays EVER when we go out. Actually, I pay almost all of the time, unless he brings money, then we pay separately. I have listed a lot of negatives, but there are lots of positives as well. I just don't know what to do or what to think. Any opinion would be very appreciated, thank you! Sorry this was long.
Hey hun! Thanks for the question.
That's really tough, but I definitely think it's normal to question being with someone sometimes, especially since you've been together for quite sometime. I'm glad you made a pro and con list, it helps sort through some of the emotion. But the fact of the matter is, is that if you love someone, even knowing the flaws won't change that. You have to let things play out, and take it one day at a time. If you're thinking big picture with him as a lifetime commitment, then think of some of his flaws as a temporary thing. Ex: he won't be jobless forever, right? Everyone has their flaws and especially with being so young, we will all grow. It just depends if it's worth waiting for to grow with him. Im personally struggling with similar things as well, but I know I love him. Things happen for a reason, and whatever happens happens. If it's meant to be, it'll work. If not then you'll get sick of those things and you'll move on on your own :)
Try to enjoy each day as much as you can. There's no need to do anything drastic. It's your relationship and your feelings. Don't let anyone else determine whether you should be with him or not because it's about YOUR happiness!
Xoxo take care
Feel free to email me if you wanna chat!
carayotie@gmail.com
Ok well I know that I'm being stupid and all but yeah I told my mom and my teacher about it and yea they believed me but I still feel scared and cofused,alone,uncomftable I still cry so much and my brother in law is still out there my mom doesn't report it! I don't want my mom to know I'm upset because its awkward talking to her.sometimes I feel as if I want to comit suicide but I know its wrong. The only person I feel comftable letting them know how I feel is my best friend and my teacher.like its not like I can go to a counslir because I don't want my mom to know that I'm not ok.by the way I'm 12 he's 32 and he started when I was 9 turning 10.I told them about a month ago about this but yeah I cry myself to sleep every single night:(I hate my life!
You are not alone sweety. You did the right thing by telling someone what was going on. But, you really should try talking to your counsellor because they can provide you with a ton of options for you to find support to get through this. They don't have to tell your parents if you ask them not to. And if you are to shy, try asking the teacher you confided in for some help as to what you can do. The most important thing is that you stay strong and remember that this doesn't have to control your life. There are a ton of support groups and people out there that you can rely on to get you through the day. You are a strong lady and none of what happened is your fault. You sound extremely brave by talking to someone about this, and that's one of the hardest steps that you've overcome.
xoxo
Feel free to send me an email (my address is on my prof) if you need someone to chat with.
Take care
i babysit this lad he is 10 and i am 13(girl) its just me and him and he always tells me to come up stairs and he would feel me up and snog me i tell him to stop he does and then he told me about him going through puberty so i said i would allow him to do this to me is it right or should i stop......?
You should probably stop and pull away from that baby sitting job. It's inappropriate and could impact your life later on for other jobs. Not to mention the age factor of you both. As a babysitter you should be the one calling the shots, so put the kid in his place and be strictly professional. Odds are that if you're uncomfortable with it then you should stop.
always go with your gut instincts
xo
im looking for a 9 year old girl to have sex with help me
Get a life. That's disgusting.
This guy Ive known for a few years, hes amazing. We have gone on a few dates, but when it comes to asking him if I'm his girlfriend, he says no.
We have kissed, he calls me babe, and sends me
You should ask him what he wants because it sounds like he is giving you mixed signals. Typically actions speak louder than words, so if he's doing all of these things for you then there's no doubt that he likes you :) but you should def try and get him to clarify things to avoid any miscommunications and broken hearts.
xoxo
Hi i feel a little uncomfortable answering this but I hope you can help me. I'm going to the beach tomorrow with my boyfriend and I'll be on day 6 of my period and I was wondering if it would be ok to swim in the ocean with a pad and black board shorts. I hope that nothing leaks into the water. I hope you can help
You should be fine :) If you can switch to a lighter pad for when you get into the water vs a normal heavy flow one then that'll be even better (less bulky). But since your in the beach water and wearing black, you should be fine. Just make sure to change your pad as soon as you come out of the water!
Have fun!
Xo
So, my friend got mad at me the other day. I said I was sorry and she replied back along the terms saying that I wasn't a true friend, and I am. So I gave her a few days to cool off, and I called her today. She didn't answer, so I left her a message. I sent her a text through iMessage, and she didn't reply. I tried facetiming her, but that didn't work. So I called her house phone, and her mom said she didn't want to talk to me. I'm just upset and mad, and even wondering if I should be her friend. So any help here?
Well you've tried your best to apologize and communicate with her. So if she doesn't want to talk then just leave her until she is ready. She probably just needs time to calm down and think. Don't stress. True friendships don't end overnight.
xoxo
i cant spell very good
12/f
ok i had this dream last night that was awekward and weird.
i wasss "taken advantage" of in my dream by my bf in a later period.
im not sure if it means he will or it is just my sudconsiosness messing with me.
should i be concerned about it or not?
any advise will be very thankful!!
You shouldn't be concerned. But dreams usually have a way of telling us things from our subconscious. Are you having doubts about him? Are you nervous about being with him? It just sounds like a reflection of your feelings towards him.
xo
i want to ask my girlfriend for sex but i dont know if the times right what do i do to know if shes ready for it? ):
For starters, don't be pushy. Just have a conversation with her. "Babe, I love you and I'd really like to take things to the next step, but if you aren't ready then I understand." The best way to get into a girls head is to communicate with her and talk about things :)
xo
I'm not sure if this is peer pressure but anyway.my boyfriend wants me to have sex with random guys infront of him but I don't want to. He says he will brake up with me if I don't and my friends say they won't be my friends anymore. I turned 12 a few days ago and he is 16. I don't want to be a little slut but what am I going to do without my friends? And I really love my boyfriend. My boyfriend always wanted to have sex with me and to finger me but I always said no and he didn't mind but now he does mind and I don't know what to do!
Don't give in to what they are telling you to do. To be honest, they sound like assholes who are trying to get you to do something and then use it against you later. No boyfriend or friends for that matter should ever be pressuring you to do anything that you aren't comfortable with. You deserve better than that, and if they ditch you because you refuse to do what they say, then why would you want friends like that anyways? As for the boyfriend, tell him to eff off. That's a very inappropriate request of him. If he loves you, he'll respect you and your body.
Don't settle for anything less than you deserve. There's so much better out there
My boyfriend just left for basic training in South Carolina , he will be back at the end of February . I am not sure how to cope with him being gone . We have been together for a long time and plan on staying together . Unfortunately , I'm still in high school . How should I deal with this ? It hurts so bad knowing he's gone for awhile .
Just take it one day at a time. My boyfriend is military also, so it really sucks when he's gone. It helps to stay really busy. I've also written in a journal to him on days when I can't talk to him, and then when I see him, I'll give him the journal to read. It's therapeutic in a way :) also, it helps to make friends with other military girlfriends who are or have gone through the same thing. Google some military gf websites and join a few :) its a great way to bond with some other girls and find a support system for when he's away!
Xo take care. Stay strong
I am 20 years old - female.
All my life I have had clear skin except maybe a zit on the nose occasionally that arrived around menstrual time. A couple of weeks ago, my skin has become oily and pimply. It doesn't feel like my face anymore. I use rubbing alcohol on the areas I'm breaking out and it helps. I have no idea why the change. I have had many compliments in my past on my perfect complection. I am no expert on zit-removing. What are some good ways to clear my face up? Any cheap products or home remedies that will do the trick? Thanks.
I use to have nice skin too, just a few zits here and there, then after high school my skin just blew up. Tried everything and nothing worked. My normal skin is probably "combination skin" meaning it's not overly oily or overly dry. Anyways, I switched my lotion to something basic, (Olay moisturizing lotion for sensitive skin) which I use in the morning before I put on my makeup. In the evening after I wash my face, I started to use bio-oil for my lotion instead. Sounds scary, but i use just a dime size amount all over my face and neck. I feel like that's what did the trick. Not only did it help with the zits but it helped with the scarring as well. so I'd def recommend trying those products out.
Xo