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Opinion please

Question Posted Monday June 25 2012, 3:27 pm

Hi Caray,
I really admire your advice that you give to everyone else, so I really just need an opinion/advice on my life right now if you have the time. Thank you so much!
20/f. I have been with my bf for 18 months now, and sometimes I contemplate whether or not we will be together forever or if I am wasting my time. We have so much fun together and definitely lots in common, but we also have very big differences as well, such as some of my friends obviously don't like him, and my family is not a fan of him either. As for his friends and family, they love me. There isn't a really solitified reason why some of my friends and family don't like him, it just kind of came to be that way. I'm also very outgoing and social, with lots of friends; he has one good friend, and two other casual friends. It may not seem like a big difference, but it is when it comes down to making plans and lifestyles, etc. As my last point, sometimes I think he can be a bit immature for our age, but only with his not having a job reasoning, and how he never pays EVER when we go out. Actually, I pay almost all of the time, unless he brings money, then we pay separately. I have listed a lot of negatives, but there are lots of positives as well. I just don't know what to do or what to think. Any opinion would be very appreciated, thank you! Sorry this was long.

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carayotie answered Monday June 25 2012, 5:00 pm:
Hey hun! Thanks for the question.

That's really tough, but I definitely think it's normal to question being with someone sometimes, especially since you've been together for quite sometime. I'm glad you made a pro and con list, it helps sort through some of the emotion. But the fact of the matter is, is that if you love someone, even knowing the flaws won't change that. You have to let things play out, and take it one day at a time. If you're thinking big picture with him as a lifetime commitment, then think of some of his flaws as a temporary thing. Ex: he won't be jobless forever, right? Everyone has their flaws and especially with being so young, we will all grow. It just depends if it's worth waiting for to grow with him. Im personally struggling with similar things as well, but I know I love him. Things happen for a reason, and whatever happens happens. If it's meant to be, it'll work. If not then you'll get sick of those things and you'll move on on your own :)

Try to enjoy each day as much as you can. There's no need to do anything drastic. It's your relationship and your feelings. Don't let anyone else determine whether you should be with him or not because it's about YOUR happiness!

Xoxo take care
Feel free to email me if you wanna chat!

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