anniemaylane's advice column

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Q: f/16
I have class with this boy, we'll call him bob. So bob is a year younger then me and asked me to prom two months before prom was scheduled and we talked and stuff, but we weren't acquaintences or anything, but I said no to him for prom, cause i didn't want to go with him and made some excuse. Well, at prom I saw him there while my date wanted to sit down and take a break, so Bob asked me to dance and i did for a couple of minutes and then broke free cause I didn't want to dance with him. Yesterday Bob asked me if I wanted to hang out and I said no because I wasn't going to be in that area. Then he asks me when I will be free to hang out (through a text) but I haven't responded yet, but he's not getting the message that I don't want to hang out with him. I don't know how to handle this situation and at prom I only danced with him cause I felt bad for him that I rejected him and went with someone else. The school i go to is pretty small and everyone knows everyone, but I want to get this guy off my back. Any advice? Thanks (sorry for the length)

Dear ticked off,
It sounds like this guy might have a crush on you, a BIG one at that. But the thing is even though he is anoyinng and all you don't wanna break his heart, and you expecially DO NOT WANNA SEND HIM MIXED SIGNALS. Like whenever you danced with him, he probley thought "man she's danceing with me, she must like me or somethin."
you need to set him free. Talk to him, don't txt, it's just not the same. Tell him that you really arn't interested in him, that you would really appriciate it if he would just forget about his feelings for you and move on.
IF HE TRUELY likes you then he should understand, & leave you alone. He will still like you but he'll understand.

Hope this'll help,
-a.m.l

Q: Okay maybe I just need to vent right now or whatever but I need help. So my bestfriend whom I tel basically everything to, and when I say everything I mean everything. Thats just the way our friendship works, we tell each other everything. That is until lately. She's been acting different. Ever since she met this guy who she likes that lives next door to her. I have to admit I am a little jealous. Only because she always gets the guys, but she just uses them and takes them for granted and fights with them constantly more then most people do. It's always her starting these fights, that might I add are about the most rediculous things. I dont like saying it but some people would consider my friend a "skank". Now today it just set me off I dont know why. Basically i texted her saying I cant go to this talent show thing tomorrow with her. Normally she'll say "aawww what you cant go? Why? You have to go. We need to hangout." stuff like that. This time she texted back "Bummer, i'm with Steven ( her next door neighbor that she likes) i'll call you later. I dont know that just really made me mad. Not to mention well she spends like every weekend at my house, cause she likes to. But I really needed someone to talk to this weekend cause everything seems to be going wrong but no she's too busy with Steven. I dont know. Am i wrong to be mad at her? Am i overreacting? Any advice?

Okay, well I can see where your coming from, I mean If your supposed bff was a true friend then wouldn't she want to hang out with you, not her stupid boyfriend, who will probley be gone in a few weeks anyways? Well... of course your mad. But here is how to deal with this event that could shatter your friendship:

1. DON'T just all of a sudden up and be mad at her, she'll feel like she didn't have a chance to fix the problem.
Try telling her that you miss her. That you feel that she spends more time with "steven" then you. Tell her everything you've told us here, but be nice about it. Then she should understand where your coming from. Then try to make plans for the weekend with each other.
But you HAVE to remember if she still hangs out with this steve guy then you should let her, SOMETIMES! Maybey if you have a bf. or if you get one you all can DOUBLE dATE! :D

REALLY hope that this advice helps,
-A.M.L

Q: My name is Dwayne i am 19 years old and the girl who i think is the love of my life hename is shanice she's 15 years old, I can understand that she's yong and has no idea of how to handle a relationship.
I want to know how can i get her to love me again because i really love this girl and would not do anything to hurt her, since lately i can see that she start to moving away from me slowly.

Well you can't make someone love you no matter how hard you try. But you can try to get her to like you atleast as a friend, then work your way up from there. It'll take some time for her to be attracted to you agin, she may already have another love intrest but you never know. Hang out with each other call each other email txt, ect. I know you probley arn't patciant, but if you want your girl you'll wait. Maybey she secretly still likes you. If you stay friennd for a week or two you may figure that out. who knows

-MEG

Q: me and my best friend have been friends for a while we do everything together but here lately she has been telling me that my boyfriend was making out with his ex girlfriend and that he was cheating on me and when i ask him about it and my other friends they tell me that they havnt ever seen him kiss another girl and that he would never cheat on me but because of what my best friend it caused me and my boyfriend to break up so i dont know what to do any more.

Well if your friend is the type that lies alot DON'T beleive her. But I think in my opinion that your bff is probley right. If she's truely you bff she wouldn't lie like that. BUT if she's been jelous of u spening more time with your bf then her then she might be lying to make you dump him for her. so I don't know it depeneds on your friends

Q: A crush I've had from probably November last year knows that I like him, because I told him, and was really nice to me, although he was probably quite shocked haha.. but nothing happened because he liked someone else, a friend of mine, actually, but now they're not close anymore, and I've noticed we always seem to be the first people to notice each other walk into the room, or accidently catch eye contact.. there's been other people for me, but I'm kinda crazy about him, more so than I have been for anyone else in my life - do these little things that happen very often mean anything? What should I do? Or am I being paranoid, and should just get over him? Any help HUGELY appreciated! Thankyou so much in advance!!!!! xx

Okay well boys are ALWAYS confusing. And i am sorta like I've been crushing on the same guy for since about dec. But my advice to you is not to make it to obviouse just be chill about it. Be his bff, BEFORE hand. And always keep your options open! You can crush on more then 1 guy. Who knows maybey after he gets over the other girl you'll be his next crushee.
HOPE THIS HELPS

-meg

Q: okay so i have wireless connection
but my ipod wotn let me use my network to go onto the internet off of my ipod
how do i make it work ? :S
if i click the other ones i get that show up it says to type in the password ( i dont know them obv ) but for mine it wont even let me do that

Okay I have an ipod touch as well. But your internet has to be wireless dsl in order for to connect. Alot of times, if it wireless dsl then plug it in like your charging it, then try connecting, let me know if that helps.

Q: 15/f

me and my boyfriend will be together for two years in a month. sometimes things get a little boring. . what can we do to keep the relationship sparked and alive??

My last boy friend and me dated for two years aswell, But after it got boring in our relationship he discided to spark things up by cheating on me with my Best friend! I'll NEVER forive him.
So that's the LAST thing i'll ever suggest. to spice up your relationship statise, try giving a little more effort. SUCH as:
maybey calling him and talking about school, movies ect. But don't be to chatty, and make sure you have something to talk about so it doesn't get akward.
. you could ALSO hang out more. I don't know if your old enough to go on dates yet, but that'd be cool, movies dinner, bowling?!
but if you not old enough make it cashual invite a few friends out to eat or to a b-ball game.
. Send him flirty notes in his locker, or txt. (FLIRTY not dirty)
I REALLY hope this helps
-meg

Q:
Can crush on my best friend but don’t show it. I told her how I felt that took me years to tell her but I never flirt, tease, or lean on her. Of course, she doesn’t feel the same way but her body language to me, is flirting, teasing and leans on me. She shows body language but doesn’t say how she really feels. Some of our friends notices that and other people around us in public too; one friend said that we act like a odd couple because we push each others buttons, which freak us out that we deny it. She has this playful personality to me only around me. I ignore it which makes her do it even more. I am to shy to get close to her so I never show any interest to her but I can write it out….I just don’t get it?????

Oh my gosh. the same thing is happening to me only I'm the girl in your story. That's so creapy, you just described my relationship with my bff only I'm the girl. Well you see if she's like me she doesn't know you like her, because you don't show it. She probley feels like you don't like her because you don't act that way back. What would make her day, Like it would mine. Is if you told her how you felt. Then see how she reacts

Hey what's your name, I really wanna add you . You sound SO familiar!

Q: I live in KY, but my dad lives in IN and i visit him every 6 weeks, and there is a boy there that is friends with my brother. Well this boy got into a fight because some kid was going to stab him, so now he is grounded and his brother, who helped him, is in a detention center. I know it sounds bad, but i dont really think so.

And he has a gf...but from what i hear he really likes me, like a lot, and wants to hang out with me this summer. And people are telling me that because he thinks im cute and stuff and he has a gf he is a player, but i dont neccersarily think so.
what should i do about this?? whats your opinion??
PS::::
And please dont tell me that i need to leave him alone if he has a gf because i know that and im not gonna do it..i dont play that game...or say that its long distance or anything like that...i know its hard but chances are if anything were to happen it would be for three weeks only..while im there.. :D

I'm from KY too. But I'm not going to tell you to forget him , if you like a guy of course you'll go after him. If I was in your shoes here's what I'd do.
I'd call him talk to him visit him when I'm there. I'd also make sure to flirt ALOT. Because players L-O-V-E that. But I wouldn't ask him out, let him ask you out, but make sure he's single first. Then your set. But Make sure sinnce it's long distannt that you comunicate often! That's the key. I hope it works out, but remember that players jump from girl to girl, so keep your eye out, and don't be shocked if it's over soonner then you think,
Wish you the best of luck
-meg

Q: Hey, does any one have a star doll acount , if
you do, how do you get cash? Other than the ones
you get for logging in?

Thanks for anserws:)

I'm ashley_90210 add me >lol
But as for the cash thing it's complicated. If your not a superstar you have to raise your starpoint level. For example I have around 1400 starpoints when I get 1500 I get 20 stardollors. Here's how to earn starpoints:
.Make a big presentation
.Join alot of clubs and particapate in discussions
.make your own club
.visit other people
.Fill your album by dressing up celeb paperdolls
and:
.Make sceneries
OR pay 10$ or 25$ at target, walmart, or best buy and get a stardoll giftcard, (WHERE THE ITUNES CARDS ARE) It makes you a supperstar and you get 50 stardollors a week, LIKE ME. lol
Hey what is your usernname? If you join my club WELUVJOEJONAS you can be manager it will help raise your starpoints. I have like 382 members. LOL
ROOCCK OUT_
meg

Q: Well, here's the problem. My best friend likes this guy. He's really sweet, and soon after I met him, I fell in love with him too. I know it's really messed up, but I couldn't help it. Then one day my best friend obviously realizes that I like him, and she asks me if I do. You see, I'm too honest, and I tell her I do. She accepts that but then when I put"I love him" as my away message on AIM, she sends me an IM, and she's like "You love him?" I'm like I thought you already knew that. She's like that's messed up and curses me out, calling me a fake friend and all that, but I'm not a fake friend. I just couldn't help it but fall in love with a guy so sweet. What should I do? Thanks, i really appreciate it if you give me advice. Thanks!!!!!!!

Dear Luver gurl,
Hey well I understand you problem. Guys come between friendships ALL the time, and the thing is it might take some time.
You have to descide if you want to be friends with her or be with the guy first. IF you just want to throw away your friendship and get the guy then go for it but I would'nt, cause chances are he will come and go.
If I was you Here is what I would do:
Change your away message, it's one thing that your friend knows you like him, but it's another to rub it in her face, (even if you don't mean to) Then you should talk to your friend. I would call her, but you can tell her in person or whatever is more comfortable.
But I would tell her that I was sorry that she got so upset but that I have feelings too. I would tell her that I wanna be her friends, but if that means she tells me who I can like or not then we have a problem. Try to comprimise so that your both happy.
Look at the situation from her point of view. Wouldn't you be upset too? I mean come on what if u liked him first and then she said she liked him. Don't just tell me you wouldn't care. OFCOURSE you would your a girl. GO figure, but your friend should've told you how she felt right off the bat.

It may take time for her wounds to heal but in the end it'll work out. Who knows whenever she gets over him, he'll be free for you.

hope this helps,
MEG

Q: 16/f

I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now and lately I've been having crazy jealousy issues. I really have no reason to be jealous or suspicious of him because he's never really done anything to make me not trust him (that I know of). See, he's a year older than me, I'm a sophomore and he's a junior, and for half of the day he's at a different school than I am. There's a girl that goes there that also attends our school that I think he talks to. I'm weirdly jealous of this and thinking about her makes me angry. I don't even really know her other than she was in one of my classes. I always have these dreams that he leaves me for her. He denies that he even talks to her, which I know isn't true. Today we were at the store and she was there and she waved to him. It seems pretty harmless, but I got really upset.

I can't stand feeling like this :\ I get really jealous and I know it has to do with my own insecurities. But if he doesn't talk to her, and what he says is true, then this isn't fair for him.

So I suppose my question is, how would I go about getting over this stupid jealousy problem?

please help :[

I dated a guy for 2 two years, and I started to get jelous alot at the end. Every girl he talked to I assumed he had a crush on. I would ask him he would say no. Apart of me knew he wasn't lieing but a BIGGER part of me was jelous because I thought maybey they liked him. But I can't control that.
Over the last few weeks of our relationship I was a jelous freak you could say. But turns out guys HATE that. He dumped me for my bff, and I was left with tears.
So my advice is to stop acting jelous it's one thing to be jelous but it's another to act on it. DON'T question him or ask around or confront the other girl. IF he is cheating you'll find out soon enough. But if you wanna keep this relationship STOP. Just be his bff/girlfriend. Go on dates and be flirty and you'll make it through his college years. Lol GOOD LUCK

-meg aka anniemaylane

Q: hello, i now know this amazing girl, and i dont know if she likes me and i already gave her a kiss on the cheek but she doesnt seem to understand that i love her... so i was thinking of trying to do it on the mouth, but how do u start on something like that?

STOP don't you dare go any farther. BIG turn-off is kissing a girl that doesn't like you. It's too soon. She may not like you that way, and by kissing her this soon she never will. I know you guys donn't want to hear this but it's the truth unless your a slut it's a BIG turn off for a guy you don't like to kiss you. We prefure flirts. then we'll let you know when you should kiss us.

Q: 17/M
She says I'm not good enough for her, but I know she's the one who doesn't deserve me. I've liked her for 15 months now. She's done nothing but jerk my emotions back and forth. She the only person I keep in my life who has never opened up to me... or anyone else. I want to be with her so badly. Why can't I get her out of my head?

(here maybey this will help)
She's in your head because she's the only one who hasn't "opened up to you" Try talking to her. Ask her why she doesn't like you. If she still won't open up I hate to tell you this but find another girl. Who knows it might make her jelous, or you might turn out to like the new girl more

Q: Okay over the weekend our school had this caraval, and me and my friends all met there & hung out. But while we were having fun a classmate of mine wasn't. You see me and her arn't really friends or anything but she's Bff's with my best friend Josh. So after the carnavil. She & Josh were talking, while the rest of us piged out on leftovers. But when josh got back he pulled me aside and said this:
"meg i HAVE to tell you something but i can't. ...Okay if you promise not to tell ANYONE I'll tell you" so I promised" And he said "okay well You know how I was talking to Chelsea (aka classmate) well she told me during the carnivall She got RAPED! She was crying and everything she said it was by some eight grader and he ripper her shirt off an started teasing her boobs, but her dad stoped him. BUT her dad won't beleive her and now she's in BIG trouble. BUT she made me SWEAR not to tell anyone so what do I do?" he told me all that. Should I tell someone or what?

Thnx for the advice, and yeah I no techniclly it's not rape but it would've been if her dad hadn't walked in. THANKS A MILLION
-meg

Q: I know people get sad, its going to happen, but for at least a month, ive been feeling really sad. I thought about cutting myself, and did it once but not too deep, not enough to kill me, but deep enough. And people at school have just been so...mean and guys have been rude and arrogant, and my parents are fighting and may be getting a divorce and my sister verbally abuses me,i've been doing worse in school and idk, im just DONE. How do i get out of this sadness? I just cant have fun or be happy anymore, and what can i do? I need help and dont want to ask my parents for a therapist, and i try to talk to my friends, but gossip makes it too hard in my school, so i just need some advice on how to get happy again! Thanks

Dear deppressed,
I get depressed all the time, guys, school, friends, anger, death. It's all common for alot of people. But you've gotta get it through your head that it's called LIFE, and you can turn it around. If I was in your shoes here is what I would do:
. Listen to music, lol always helps me feel like I can do anything, such as: Whatever it takes; lifehouse
. Ask if you can make appointments with the school guidence counsler. Check with your mom about the therapist.
.As for you parents I would ask to meet with both of them then say this to them, " Mom dad, STOP fighting. Your wrecking my life and yours.If your going to argue then get a divorse and move on with it. I CAN'T stand it any longer. Sure you may ground me after this, but I don't care! I've got a life too, and maybey you should consider it every once in a while" But that's just me.
. Try just telling your sister that you love her. lol This may be weird but it will freak her out. then tell her to quit, of course this may not work, but it may take time.

. LAST of all remember your worth it, or you wouldn't be here now would you? I'm a christian so I pray alot. So if your a christian pray or read the bible it'll help you, but if your not then good luck, and remember there's someone out there that loves you, example: parents friends, sisters even if they don't show it.

Q: ugh,
okay. so i have an ex let's call him D. and another ex, let's call him J.

okay, so i hung out with D todayy, and made outwith him, like i do alot, when i went out with him.
=D

okay, but when i got home, J called me, and asked me out, i said noo.

he had broke up with me, bc he thought i still liked D. i told him i didn't but w/e.

truth is, i still like D. and when i make out with him, and hang out with him. [[which is all the time]] memories come flowing back.
today, i got quiet while we were hanging out, and he asked what was wrong, and i told him nothing. he gave me a big hug, told me that i could tell him if anything was wrong, and i told him nothing was wrong, after about 10 more minutes of silence, and him carrying me, he asked me again, and i said i was thinking about things. and he asked what things, i told him stuff. so he gives me a hug, and i tell i have to go, he hugs me and i leave,

i think he still likes me,
but idk,

=/

help.
what should i do about D.

we still act like we go out

he says i love you
and i ask how, he says "as a friend..." after i don't say it back.
with some sadness in his voice.

he's my best friend, i tell him everything.
ilove him.

what do i do about him.
and J.
bc J keeps asking me out,

what do i do.
about D and J ???

Dear toubled,
You've quiet a handfull two guys. Your lucky no matter what happens. But here's my advice for you:
Okay First you need to clear the air with J.It sounds like he's getting on your nerves. So what I would do is call him, or tell him in person that what happened is in the past. You've moved on and now it's his turn. That you would love to stay friends but.. that is IT.
As for D I really don't know what to tell you. Guys are complitcated and if you flat out ask him then it might get awkward. So I don't advise that. If he flirts with you some more over the next few months but still just wants to be friends I WOULD ask him what his feelings are. But As I said it's complicated and I'm not in your shoes so, idk. But I hope you find out.

Q: Well i ask my friend to hang out everyweekend but everytime i ask her she says soething like "i have to babysit or i have to clean?" and like i really think she doesnt wanna hang out with me but the next day she can hang out with anyone and i dont get it?

(female, 14)

Hey, this happenes to everyone at some point. I was like that with one friend, I always made up excuses cause either my parents wouldn't let me or i didn't want to. It ended up killing our friendship. So next time she says no then ask her what day will work for her. If she won't go for that then maybey confront her about it. Ask her whats up with her latley. Trust me it's better then wrecking a friendship!

Q: Okay so I have 2 bffs, Kenzie and Bri. Bri and I have been friends since 4th grade, Im in 6th now. All of us are. Kenzie & I just met this year.. but anyway

well we all had this major fight for a really stupid reason and it really effected our relationship, even after words. Kenzie and Bri were never mad at eachother, so their relationship didnt suffer, just the one with me. They were all ganging up on me and stuff, and it was really annoying.

Well now they ALWAYS have plans together, and I feel left out.. It is really upsetting me and Ive tried telling them how I felt, but they just say "Well maybe you should make plans FIRST" But that is hard to do, considering they always have plans. And then on the bus they use MY phone to call and make plans for themselves, not even asking if I want to be part of it. It is really upsetting me. Ill ask "Hey can I spend the night tonight?" And shell say "No I want Bri to" and It just makes me want to cry. Today Im going to Alex's (youve heard about him, lol) birthday party with Kenzie. Its fine when kenzie and I are by ourselves, and its the same way with Bri and I. Bri always says we used to be like this *crosses her fingers* But now we are like this *sticks thumb and pinky finger out, all others down* and it makes me sad. They take it as a joke or get mad at me when I try to talk to them, and I dont want parents involved.

Thanx in Advance!

ALSO. Bri gets mad at me for stupid things like rolling my eyes. I dont know if that helps *laughs*, but w/e

P.s. I know this is off topic, but what should I give Alex for his birthday considering I have no money, at ALL.

what a quinkey Dink. I've had the same prob. in the past. You can even check my column but one of the replies to my prob. really helped me. They told me to talk to my friends tell thim how I feel. So here is my advice for you:

Tell Bri and Kenzi how you feel. Tell them you don't like being treated this way, and that if they want to be friends with you then why don't they start acting like it, because your fed up with it.

BUT if they don't take this seriously or they just say "well we don't need you" Then they aren't a true friend. And I know everyone says that but it's sooooooo true. Try finding other people to hang out with. Who knows Bri & Kenzi might turn around and apologize, or they might be jelous but either way your shouldn't put yourself down, cause it's there loss. IF they aren't gonna treat you like a true friend then don't waste your time on them find someone else

Q: I feel the need to change my room, and I mean like moving my bed and everything around atleast once a month. And sometimes more then that so it's usually everytime I clean my room. Why do I feel like I have to and sometimes if i dont I like cant sleep... and is it normal?

oh my gosh. I'm the same way. I totally understand. The biggest pet peave of mine is and unmade bed or unswept carpets. UGH I always clean my room. My friends think I'm crazy. But still it's perfectly normal. I am not sure why we are like this but I'm sure it's something scientific. But I think it's pretty cool that there's someone else like me. If you ever find the answer (why we are like this?) pass it down to me.

Clean Freak 2
-anniemaylane
(aka meg)

bio

Hey what's up It's me ... ASK me anything, cause I wanna help. Even if it's the most stupidist thing i'll ever hear then ask anyways.

Call me Ashley if you would like
Ask Ash. Lol Love it. So

ASK. :) no preasure