25 Female. Just a down to earth girl living life to the fullest. Ive had the ups and downs. Depression/anexity/family problems/sex life/relationships. I work in outpatient physc and love giving my best advice as possible.
Gender: Female
Location: Massachusetts
Occupation: Outpatient Pysc
Age: 25
Member Since: November 12, 2013
Answers: 69
Last Update: March 16, 2024
Visitors: 4554
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OK ... I was home alone and I got really horny... I am 18 female and well I decided to search how to masturbate I read and I was getting more and more horny.. I have touched my self already but always after I did it I will still feel the urge today how ever while just reading methods I had some different feeling.. Then eventually I got up yo do it and I could barely move I felt weird then I was involuntarily squeezed I might say and I didn't feel horny again when I went to the bathroom my undies was wet with a lot of discharged was that an orgasm... Im a virgin..
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Girlfriend your totally fine! These things happen and its okay. And plus totally normal :)
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OK so I am a lesbian and consider myself out of the closet, as in my friends and family all know and I am comfortable telling people. This one girl isn't homophobic she's just really annoying about it. Like she keeps thinking I have a crush on her even though she is really fat and ugly...she also always has to say she is straight. Like if I say "my hair is not straight, just like me." She'll have to chime in with "my hair is straight just like me." and it's really fucking irritating. She also has to constantly point out my sexuality whenever rainbows are involved, for example, my other friend had made phone cases for a scene in the play (we are all in drama club) and asked her to pick one. One of them had a rainbow design so she was all like "I'm going to pick this one in honor of *insert my name*" then for the next hour was like "do you get it...do you get why I picked it in honor of you" I'm not ashamed of being gay but holy shit I don't need to be reminded every 2 seconds. And if someone says faggot or something she'll start screaming, then be like "OMG we have a GAY person in the room!!!!" While pointing at me, or she *always* has to tell off homophobic people *because of me.* Standing up to homophobes isn't the problem, it's just that I don't like being singled out and othered all the damn time and even if you didn't have a single gay friend you still should be against homophobia...and if something even slightly good happens to the LGBT community she goes way over the top excited (more excited than any community member I've ever met and I've met plenty.) Of course she pins her excitement on me. Tbh I feel like she's gay or bi herself and doesn't accept herself, or her parents are against it, or something and is trying to live it out through me. In which case she sounds like cringey 12-14 year old LGBT emo kid who admins an LGBT Instagram page. A big reason I feel this way is how she behaves towards a mutual friend of ours. Lets call her N. N is an absolute sweetheart, a very likeable, terribly nice girl and I don't think she has a drop of hate inside her but honestly the way she acts towards N is so weird. Like she's developed this creepy Asian fetish after meeting her (N is Japanese) and is constantly hugging and grabbing her, and if anyone else tries to high five her or something she'll get insanely jealous and start death staring you before pulling her away and claiming she belongs to her. Any time she is absent from school we can't mention her name without her wailing at the top of her lungs,"*insert her name* CHAAAAN." Aside from that she acts like an overprotective white suburban mom. It's beyond the friendship thing, and I think N is too nice to say it but she doesn't like it. If she did have a crush on her whatever, but even if you did that's really creepy...if I acted like that to my crushes, I would be considered a predator and get a restraining order put on me. How do I get this girl to chill tf out? (link)
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I couldn't even finish reading this without being so annoyed. I would put her in her place. Tell her it bothers you and its really frustrating. She almost makes it like she has a crush on YOU. Your "friends" don't do that.
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well i been heartbroken over this guy named josiah for 4-5 years, we were close and almost dated. he led me on and used me til didnt need me anymore, and is my first love, kiss who lost virginity to etc. we ent from talking alot flirting etc to all sudden it stopped. idk why still, and foundout from someone that is married now. i tried sending a friend request on facebook, playing it off as dont have these feelings still, but denied request but didnt block. want talk to him so badly, as did have a miscarriage of his child and never griefed properly as kept it from my family cause they lecture me about having feelings for him tho thats not something i can help , tried everything i could think of to move on, and now in a relationship with lance, who treats me like queen do care for just not as much as do josiah. he knows had thing for him in past, as told him how he hurted me badly emotionally dont think it was intentional tho cuase he's best guy i ever knew before lance. what should i do? and want make my current relationship work though im just settling for lance since cannot have josiah like we were... (link)
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Im so sorry for your loss and heartbreak. Im not sure on how to answer this because of your grief and sadness I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling. I think you just never felt the closure with Josiah to move on. Your first love is always hard to get over. I dated someone for 5 years and I could not handle the break up. I lost my virginity to him too. He probably deleted your friend request knowing he has moved on and probably doesn't want to reopen a chapter that is closed. He has moved on and is married. I know its hard but you should be happy for him. If he is happy you should be too. Everyone has a right to feel happy. You cannot help who you like and its hard. I suggest to go see counseling because it seems like you have a lot that you are holding in and I am not a professional to help. Every love is different. If you don't see anything going on with this new guy Lance you can't be stringing him along. Josiah will always have a piece of your heart but I don't think its meant to be. Just work on yourself and get through day by day. It will hurt less, time heals everything. I wish nothing but the best for you xoxo
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so i was in a long distance relation but we broke up after 3 months and i tried to fix the problem but she just wouldn't even try and think about it and i tried texting her and she was reading those texts but not replying to any of them and she'd just say "idk what to say"
and after a while she said that i "spam" her with texts but all i sent was 3 texts telling how i feel about her and she called it "spam" and it hurt me a lot and so i blocked her on social media and also in the multiplayer game that we met ! . it's really hard for me to give up on her and i just love her a lot and at this point i'm just hurt a lot and thinking about her MOST of the time and idk what to do....
i'm thinking of reconnecting with her (i know i'm dumb but i just love her a lot) and i don't know whether this is the right thing to do....
i'm thinking of texting her in the game we met
so yea as i said before i'm just confused and don't know what to do that's why i'm asking for your help
Thank you for taking your time in reading this
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Have you met this girl before? Break ups are tough i know. But if it only lasted 3 months i dont think its going to continue. I do think its nice yeah to reach out and say Hey i hope you are doing well. But i think if you just leave everything in the past it is way easier to move on for your heart and soul and mind. Its harder reopening a chapter that should already be closed. I don't know how old you are but im thinking you are young and there will be more woman in your life that you will be interested in. Long distance realtionships are hard and they are not easy. I think you just need to let her go for your own heart.
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Hello, my name is Tamara I'm 27 years old and had NEVER had relationships let alone sexual ones, not even Hans holding or kissing either, LOL, aww Lord that sounds sad xD Anywho I was wondering is it ok being a virgin for sooo long? I'm really uncomfortable with the subject, that I get genuinely have no interest in it. I hope it isn't bad. The jist of this is, is it unhealthy? (link)
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It is not unhealthy at all!! A lot of guys find it attractive and some might even be surprised. It just shows you care about yourself and once you are ready you will be. There is no rush do not be embarrassed. Its a common instant to be but it really is not a big deal at all.
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Ok so i own a Siberian Husky pup he is almost 1 year old he is a great dog love him till death. He listens when inside the house great but i feel like its only because he feels like he is trapped. As soon as i let him outside he no longer listens and if he does something bad and i have to punish him i put him in a cage in the house then it takes me a week just to get his trust back he will not come when called will not drop a item when told to do so. And Like i said this is only once we leave the house when we are out doors or in the backyard of the house. He is fast a short 50 pound little ball of fire always on the move he has a huge backyard to play in and i try to get him to the dog park at least twice a week depending on the weather. I train with him everyday but he does not seem to get it he is very hesitant when i call him to me in the backyard and does not even acknowledge my presence at the dog park. He will be bad picking on a puppy at the dog park then we get home and he jumps up on the coach with me like were best friends and i am not mad at him. He knows i am the Alpha again great in the house wont touch food dropped on the floor until told to do so sits when told to even knows when i get him in the house and he was bad he knows to go into his crate. I tried looking everywhere online and everyone says the same thing just practice in your backyard bring him out on a leash i have tried it all as soon as he gets a inch freedom he takes a lot more then a mile. If anyone has advice i really appreciate it also food does not interest him i don't know if i already said that but if anyone knows like a irresistible dog treat that would also be great (link)
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Hey! So i have never trained a dog on my own so i am not really sure if i am much of help. I don't know if it would help but maybe pick up some training books in a library. Even maybe ask the vet to see if they have any suggestions. My mother has a cockerspaniel and i know her food is Blue Buffalo which is really good. Some of her treats that my mom gives her are puperoni too. I guess it just takes time. I wish i was more of help. xox
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Hello, this is kind of an awkward question. So me and my friend are in the 9th grade and we were doing homework in my room and she fell asleep on the bed. But her feet were sticking out, so her feet were on top of the desk and they happened to be right on my notebook. I didn't want to wake her up so I just kept working with her feet in my face lol, but her toes kept wiggling a lot so I got distracted and started playing around with them.
for example I pushed her toes a few times and they would start wiggling by themselves. Then I would hold her toes still to make them stop wiggling. so I did this whenever I wanted her toes to start wiggling lol. Then I turned on the radio to see what happens, and when I pushed her toes they start wiggling to the beat of the song. I thought it was really cute, so I made them follow my voice instructions too, for example I whispered "wiggle faster" while her toes were wiggling, and suddenly they started wiggling faster. and when I whispered "point your toes", she makes the tippy-toes like a ballet dancer. I think she was dreaming about dancing coz we both like to dance :P
Is it a normal thing for me to think her feet are cute, and to play with them this way? I haven't told her about this yet, coz I think it might sound awkward telling her that I kept her toes wiggling like nonstop while she was asleep. Thanx (link)
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Your fine ! She was probably messing around with you too! You guys sound like a good pair of friends. I wouldn't say anything since it has been a couple days since it happened but if something happens you could totally bring it up if you think about it. Don't over think it :) xoxo
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So I pretty much want to forget about my dad he hurt me a lot and I even searched the internet for help but nothing helped me My dad was abusive and he cheated on my mom a lot. He also sexually assaulted me when I was little. Pretty much my mother had me at a young age around 15. And my 'father' was fine and all as I can recall. But when my mother left to work he would bring me with him and he would pick up a woman and bring them over to our house and well you know have sex with them. What was worse is that I had to be in the room with them when they were doing that, I remember when he did that and he turned all the lights off cuz u suppose he didn't want me to see I dont know and when he did I would cry silenty. He left me when I was 5 and I never knew he was abusive towards my mother till the day he hit her in front of me and my brother and I tried defending her and when she called the police he left and I heard he is in mexico now I always try forgetting him but its hard and he pretty much affected my life. Please give me some advice...... (link)
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I am SO sorry to hear this. This is extremely sad and no one should ever be put in this situation. The good thing is he isnt around you now so you don't need to see him every day and be reminded of the pain you feel. I think you should go to a counselor and they can help you get rid of the pain and talk it out. I go to one it helps. Its something that happened a very long time ago and you have to be strong and think to yourself you were very young and you overcame this. Your never just going to forget him. But in therapy they could help you with the ways to overcome your thought process and ways to cope. I wish i could be more of help, i have never gone through this before or know anyone who has. Just know therapy is very normal and just think you did nothing wrong. Your mother is a very strong woman and so are you.
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I'm 22 and I've been in 3 relationships and have slept with 5 men (one was a fwb situation and the other just didn't work out long enough to be considered a real boyfriend.
I'm starting to get really upset because I feel like I've slept with a lot of men already to only be 22 compared to my friends.
It's just every guy I get into a relationship with seems to totally change after several months of dating. The longest one of those relationships lasted was 2 years and the rest were under 5 months. It just seems like every relationship I've been in became poisonous. The first guy turned into a drunk after hanging out with a new crowd and started spending all our money, and overall just a bad person. The second guy I wound up taking legal action against after he started stalking me everywhere I went, broke into my home, and threatened me. The last guy couldn't seem to get his parents to stop dictating our relationship (his mom called several times a day) and wound up lying to me about where he worked and what he did for 4 months before I found out.
I don't get it because I don't choose men who would seem that way. Every one of them were in college or graduated, had a good job, were religious, had friends and came from a good family, and seemed like great guys.
I've been single now since April and I'm starting to feel really sad and alone. I've tried online dating, but all the guys online are sadly gross. I've gone on a few dates with them and they all turned out to be really weird...and not in a good way.
I'm feeling super depressed now because one of my best friends is married with a baby, the other has been in a committed relationship and will likely be engaged soon, and all of my other friends have boyfriends or fiance's. Then there's me and people are starting to wonder what's wrong with me that I can't find a guy.
It doesn't help that I mainly work at home and every guy I meet on my college campus is either too young for me or in a relationship. I know most people will say join some clubs and stuff, but I've already done that and every single guy I take an interest in is taken.
Please help! I'm tired of being so alone.
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Hey love, im 24 and ive been single for almost a year and a half I dated my ex for 5 years and it wasn't the greatest...I totally get it about being lonely and that gets frustrating sometimes...but you need to fill the void by doing things you like....5 men!!!? that's like incredible people our age probably count more then 10 people they have slept with and honestly who cares? its just a number...This is your time to go out have fun do your job and make friends. Honestly your friends are settling down young and they probably will regret not enjoying their early 20's going out and doing whatever. I kinda get down on myself too because ive had 1 boyfriend for 5 years and ive slept with 6 people all together. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and its probably for the best right now. Please don't be so down on yourself...you have your whole life ahead of you to be dedicated to someone why don't you just continue to focus on yourself and be selfish. It sucks when all of your friends are in relationships just because they are doesn't mean you have to. Everyone just seems to be on a different page and that is perfectly okay...don't think anything is wrong with you and don't depend on anyone but yourself! xox
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Hello, I have a friend who I made two years back, and she tried committing suicide today. From what I know she's fine but now I'm plagued by other worries. I'm afraid she isn't stable and I've let her quite a lot into my life. She's told me things like that she's had boyfriends that abused her and other stuff like that that I used to doubt were true but I just kind of ignored it. But now I'm worried that she could try something against me or to my family or something. I just feel like I was very stupid to let her into my life that much. I don't know for certain whether or not her stories are true or not but I'm genuinely scared now that I might've put my trust in someone dangerous. I feel like crying because I don't what to do. I'm even getting stomached because of the worry. (link)
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I dont understand why you are worried for yourself? If your her friend why would she come after you? Why would she go after anyone in general Im not really sure why you would be afraid for your own safety when your friend tried to kill herself. Your friend is obviously very sad and needs help. Which i hope she is getting.
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14/f
Tomorrow im sleeping at my boyfriend and his friend is dating my friend. His friend told my friend that mt boyfriend is planning on having sex with me. Im a virgin. I want to because im always horny. Can anyone give me tips and advice? Positions? (link)
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You should have a discussion with your boyfriend before you just jump right into having sex. You need to be protected and careful. How long have you been dating this guy for? I lost my virginity at the age of 18. My only tip and advice is that its suppose to be all natural sex isnt played out and thinking of the position you want next. If you both have decided your ready you just need to be safe.
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14/f. Virgin.
Im very horny and i dont have a boyfriend. I want someone experienced and most older men have a big oenis so it would hurt a little and i want that. How do i get a man to have sex with me? It can be anyone - relative, teacher, random etc (link)
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I think this is your fantasy.. I think this is something that you want but when you are actually in this situation its not something you actually want. You dont even have your license yet and your looking to have sex? Defiantly masturbate you are going to want to be intimate with someone that you actually care about. you probably will actually be traumatized if you have sex with an older man. size actually doesn't matter either to be honest. ANd so what this happens once, taking the risk of unknown STDS for your first time. So after you have sex once and you get rid of your satisfaction and it doesnt happen again your not going to be sad? don't you want to be with someone who will actually care about you. Everyone goes through this phase its normal to want to satisfy yourself but not having random acts of sex with different people.
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I texted my ex and never got a response. He's never not responded to a text from me. I told him I wanted to check in and wish him luck on his job hunt and that I hoped he was doing well. He read it but never responded. We reconnected a few months ago. It's always been me reaching out first but I always had a reasonable time frame in between. I never bombarded him with texts and our conversations were mutually receptive we still have feelings for each other. He mentioned that I can call him anytime I want but he has also mentioned needing time because of factors in his life, he's also in a relationship. Why has he not responded? Is he done? (link)
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I always say an ex is an ex for a reason. If you are still friends with your ex it means 1 you were never in love with him or 2 you are still in love with him. Cutting off all ties is the best answer that was nice of you to wish him luck...Until i read "hes also in a relationship" Thats it girl...He is being respectful to his girlfriend. Im sure his girlfriend is jealous expressed her feelings to him about it. Thats like if you have a boyfriend and hes texting his ex to "catch up" Im sure you would feel jealous or not so happy with that situation. Is he done? Yes your relationship is over has been over and hes moved on. Mentioning you needing him in the future is just a nice gesture that you really shouldnt act upon unless its something urgent. I say let it go move on. What are you trying to get at by texting him anyway?
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I am a straight male.I had sex for the first time to a stripper . A virgin before that . Got drunk and lost control. Since I was scared ,I dint have a proper erection .I realised the condom came of the shaft when I tried penetrating in ,but I quickly realised it and put the condom again . I performed cunnilingus for 30 seconds . Now I am scared about std . I never had any health issues before (link)
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Best thing to do is go to your doctor and get tested for all the stds. MOST of them are pretty curable...Have you had any symptoms or anything? The only way to know for sure is to see your doctor and get tested and just take the next step from there and be more careful next time.
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Hey, I'm almost 14, and I look young for my age, my friends say I look 11 or 12. I'm Asian and really skinny and a bit shorter than average(163 cm), I know it's embarrassing, but my boobs are small, I mean, I'm almost an A, and what I'm really worried about is that they develop really slow while my friends started off the same as me but are already B's and C's. My birthday is in 3 months and I'm feeling insecure about this. Advice appreciated thank you so much!!! (link)
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Hey girl...Im 24 going on 25 next month and i look young for my age and i STILL to do this day get asked if im in highschool...Do you know how frustrating it is? I had A cups forever until recently ive gained some weight and now im in a B but before ive always been tiny and small boobs just the way life is. Dont feel insecure everyone says this to me so im going to say it to you....you will appericate it when you are older. I hate when people say this to me..no one knows if im of age and i always get ID for EVERYTHING. I guses you rather look younger then you are then older...i rather have someone think im younger then say wow you look 30. ya know? Everyone has their own insecurities you will blossom at some point too.
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22/F So I've been in a relationship with my BF for 3 years now, and I love him very much. He's the only relationship I've ever had, and even now after living together we're both still virgins. We both agree we're not ready to bare the responsibilities that sex imposes. Of course it's hard but by now we're both used to it.
The issue that I find myself facing is... I never thought that me finding women attractive would be a problem. I could never picture a relationship with a woman, however I find them very attractive. And how can you not, women are beautiful creatures! But... what I now struggle with is I find that I no longer find my boyfriend attractive. It's like I don't want sex anymore. I've never had it and it feels like I never will, but lately I don't care. Doing it myself is good enough.
Last night I felt extremely guilty after I was done watching lesbian porn... I pictured my boyfriend doing what they were doing and I almost got turned off. But a woman doing it didn't sound good either. I cried after! I don't want a relationship with a woman, I'm romantically attracted to my boyfriend, however lately it's been women I've been fantasizing about. I have no idea what to do. We both agreed having sex after marriage would be best, but we want to get our lives together before we get hitched.
Am I asexual? Bisexual? I'm so confused and scared. Can anyone relate, or give any advice? Am I freaking out over nothing? I would talk to my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt him before I even know what's going on myself. Any input would be much appreciated (link)
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I think its normal. I myself at 24 have watched lesbian porn because girls are hot i agree. I think its human nature. One of my best friends recently has been straight her whole life and then all of a sudden got an idea to change her dating app (bumble) to search for men and woman. I myself would never even think of this because im not interested in girls whats so ever. She just wanted to experience and thats totally fine. Now its only been a few months but she is romantically in a relationship with this woman and is all about sexual things with her. Its mind blowing...but i also noticed all the guys she mostly did date came off as gay and not out of the closet to me. It could be a phase your going through and i think its normal. Do you find yourself checking woman out in public? Have you kissed a girl? Have you been drunk and made out with girls? I'm guilty at this but ive only pecked. I dont know if im helping or not but don't let it stress you out...xox
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can 12 year olds get a job somewhere (link)
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Probably not....your still growing up and don't even have a license and barely a teenager! Why don't you do something like babysitting? Or if your parents or friends know someone looking for a babysitter thats awlays something to think about. Maybe even do flyers to walk dogs. If your looking for money im sure you could ask your parents for things to do around the house to help and get paid for it! hope this helps xo
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I really liked this guy in my school and then we went to the mall together and we kissed ( it was my first proper kiss) multiple times. He then wanted to finger me but i said no.
Now since then ( happened Saturday)he wont talk to me he just walks past me at school.
I told my friend butshe doesnt even live in the same city as me and she went on my instagram an commented " baby message me" as a joke on his picture so i told him my friend was commenting on a bunch of peoples pictures so he didnt realise i told her. So it could be that or it could be that he just wanted to hook up with me or something.
Please help i dont know what to do (link)
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Assuming your in highschool..My guess probably 95% of the guys just want to hook up. They are immature and horny. I think he just realized that you weren't going to let him bang you so hes moving on to the next girl who will let him. Don't take it personally love you did nothing wrong and you have respect for yourself. If he liked you and actually cared about you he would take things slow and not flat out ignore you. Just move on from the situation your way better off and the way hes treating you now is not cool and he doesn't deserve you.
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I'm in college and I feel like I don't have any "good" friends. I just moved recently so I haven't been able to many any new friends yet, just some new acquaintances.
Anyways, my best friend I've known for 8 years, but I feel like she's totally stuck on herself. All she ever talks about is what's going on in her life and I can literally be crying and she just keeps talking about herself. She talks to me throughout the day everyday, but it's always all about her. If I say something about me or my life she totally ignores it and keeps talking about herself.
She's also obsessed with her boyfriend. I haven't seen her in a year because she only hangs out with him and now he lives with her so I'm probably never going to see her again. I fully expect her to marry him because he's her first boyfriend and no matter what he does he can do no wrong in her eyes. He's a complete loser, who works two days a week PT, does drugs, drinks alcohol and has a useless bachelors degree. Even though she wants to marry him ASAP (they've only been together a year) he tells her to her face all the time that he wouldn't marry her and doesn't plan on getting married for a long time. Yet she still stays with him.
She also always talks me into breaking up with my boyfriends and will research all of their information to dig up dirt on them without me asking. Now I can't tell her anything about who I'm dating because she'll point out all their flaws and rips them apart and I realized she wants me to be alone so she can brag about her boyfriend.
Next my other best friend I've known for four years but a year ago she got pregnant and now she never leaves her house and stays with her abusive husband who only married her because he got her pregnant (literally the day he found out they went and got marriage papers so he wouldn't look bad to his family). They didn't even have a wedding. He's choked her and hit her before but she refuses to leave him no matter how much help I offer her. I also never see her anymore because her husband won't let me in the house. Once the cops were called when he choked her and threw her onto the ground telling her he would kill her in front of the baby and the neighbors overheard. She lied to the cops and said nothing was happening and continued to live with him.
My next friend is a guy and his wife hates me because she thinks we're secretly dating when we're not. She constantly talks about me behind my back and says things that aren't true. He comforts me and that's nice, but then he tells me all about how much his wife hates me and I'm sick of it. He also always insists on coming over (every single day) and then gets upset when I refuse to let him.
I feel like I have rotten friends and I want to be rid of all of them, but I don't have any other friends right now since I've moved and everybody else stopped contacting me when that happened.
I hate to lose my friends, but they're all incredibly negative sources of energy in my life. I feel like they're all making bad life decisions while I'm just trying to get my degree and make a good life for myself. I also hate being alone though and without anybody to lean on I feel depressed and anxious so I put up with them because I don't have anybody else. :(
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So I have to say the first girl you were talking about reminds me SO much of a friend I have. Like everything revolves around them and its so frustrating. I feel like I have to tiptoe around her so she doesn't pick out my flaws or anything. She also has tried to diagnosis me and im like this isn't a good friend. I haven't talked to her in a few weeks and it actually feels amazing like I don't miss her. My anxiety has been such a boost like every time she texted me and I saw her name im like oh god what do I do. You can only help someone so much in your situation but if they don't want to help themselves there's nothing more you can do. Distance yourself from these friends you don't have to totally drop them but they are bringing negativity to your life. Ive been in the same place. Meeting new friends are hard and girls are mean. I know theres a Bumble App its a dating app but you don't have to use that part but theres a part where its Bumble BFF and its girls matching with girls to be friends. Maybe try that? Or even join a sport or a club, or a local gym. Once you distance yourself from these people you will probably feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. I would legit be your friend if you need anyone, Please contact me if you need anything!! xo chin up doll, your going so much further in life.
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19/female.
This has been going on for months. I've had a horrible past where I did absolutely nothing because I was so certain I was going to end up committing suicide. I went through that for years. But now I actually want to get my life together and have a bright future.
But I need advice BADLY!
I'm deathly afraid of my future. I've tried working before, but I just couldn't do it. Like I continuously had major anxiety attacks and was fired because of them. I just couldn't work for the life of me. And I'm about to apply for a position at Goodwill and I'm scared out of my mind that I'm going to have anxiety attacks and be fired from that job too! My dream is to be a senior caregiver though. I'm afraid that I'm literally not able to work and have to live off of disability, but I desperately don't want to do that - I want to work more than anyone could ever imagine. My dream is to work everyday, literally everyday for hours at a time.
I can drive now, but only have my learner's, but I'm afraid of parking. I can't park to save my life unless it's not near any cars. Parking near cars puts my mind into panic mode and it's scary!
And I'm stressed about bills, because my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together sometime next summer and I am afraid I won't pay the bills properly.
And what's making me upset as hell now is he's ALWAYS talking about driving to work and doing errands and all of this. And it depresses me because NO ONE knows how badly I want to work, but I am mega scared I won't ever be able to work.
I do take meds for my depression and anxiety, but nothing works to the point where I don't have anxiety attacks.
I'm crying my eyes out now, because I want to have a good future with my boyfriend... I just want to work, but what if I can't? I'd be depressed the rest of my life.
Advice, support and encouragement would be VERY helpful right now. (link)
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Hi love, SO it sounds like you have things going in the right direction. I know panic attacks are hard to deal with but you need to find the right way to deal with it during that time. Legally your boss is not suppose to fire you due to a mental illness I believe. I work at a outpatient mental office and sometimes the clinicians can send letters saying so and so cannot attended work this week for this reason. Which im sure if you go see your doctor or if you go see a counselor im sure that would help. You also need to tell who ever is prescribing the meds to you that they are not working. Its important because different meds act differently on every person you know? Just think you have a guy who loves you and wants to move in with you. Your applying to a really good job and you have set goals. For me when I have an anxiety attack I usually go in the bathroom and breathe for a couple mins and you just have to give yourself a self boost talk like im great this is fine. Tomorrow is a new day and I love my job I am going to get through this. For moving in with your boyfriend, you don't need to be stressed over bills or anything when you don't have anything due. Just take it day by day. I hope things get better for you just stay positive and keep happy thoughts and goals. Award yourself with something when you overcome something.
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