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annoying straight girl
OK so I am a lesbian and consider myself out of the closet, as in my friends and family all know and I am comfortable telling people. This one girl isn't homophobic she's just really annoying about it. Like she keeps thinking I have a crush on her even though she is really fat and ugly...she also always has to say she is straight. Like if I say "my hair is not straight, just like me." She'll have to chime in with "my hair is straight just like me." and it's really fucking irritating. She also has to constantly point out my sexuality whenever rainbows are involved, for example, my other friend had made phone cases for a scene in the play (we are all in drama club) and asked her to pick one. One of them had a rainbow design so she was all like "I'm going to pick this one in honor of *insert my name*" then for the next hour was like "do you get it...do you get why I picked it in honor of you" I'm not ashamed of being gay but holy shit I don't need to be reminded every 2 seconds. And if someone says faggot or something she'll start screaming, then be like "OMG we have a GAY person in the room!!!!" While pointing at me, or she *always* has to tell off homophobic people *because of me.* Standing up to homophobes isn't the problem, it's just that I don't like being singled out and othered all the damn time and even if you didn't have a single gay friend you still should be against homophobia...and if something even slightly good happens to the LGBT community she goes way over the top excited (more excited than any community member I've ever met and I've met plenty.) Of course she pins her excitement on me. Tbh I feel like she's gay or bi herself and doesn't accept herself, or her parents are against it, or something and is trying to live it out through me. In which case she sounds like cringey 12-14 year old LGBT emo kid who admins an LGBT Instagram page. A big reason I feel this way is how she behaves towards a mutual friend of ours. Lets call her N. N is an absolute sweetheart, a very likeable, terribly nice girl and I don't think she has a drop of hate inside her but honestly the way she acts towards N is so weird. Like she's developed this creepy Asian fetish after meeting her (N is Japanese) and is constantly hugging and grabbing her, and if anyone else tries to high five her or something she'll get insanely jealous and start death staring you before pulling her away and claiming she belongs to her. Any time she is absent from school we can't mention her name without her wailing at the top of her lungs,"*insert her name* CHAAAAN." Aside from that she acts like an overprotective white suburban mom. It's beyond the friendship thing, and I think N is too nice to say it but she doesn't like it. If she did have a crush on her whatever, but even if you did that's really creepy...if I acted like that to my crushes, I would be considered a predator and get a restraining order put on me. How do I get this girl to chill tf out?
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I couldn't even finish reading this without being so annoyed. I would put her in her place. Tell her it bothers you and its really frustrating. She almost makes it like she has a crush on YOU. Your "friends" don't do that.
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I would maybe talk to this girl about how this kind of behavour is actually really offensive. and that you do not need people to mention every 5 minutes about your sexuality. if she is not okay with it then she has to be open with how she is feeling about the situation.
It could be that herself is a gay person and just doesn't know how to express herself in that way. If that is the case she needs to learn to deal with the idea of it instead of proclaiming her expressions through you,
It sounds like this girl has created a fantasy addiction to this girl, in her mind she thinks that these actions will eventually make N like her. and I think she needs to come to the realization that these actions are inappropriate and could potentially be ruining her friendship with N. , but even if you did that's really creepy...
Remember to be super honest and tell her that she needs to just relax and take it easy.
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Yes, I agree she sounds annoying but it may be like you wonder, if she deep down knows she is gay but trying not to accept it for religious reasons, or afraid of parents. She may be a little off in knowing how to socialize, having some kind of disorder that is subtle but might explain away why she goes overboard on what she says and does to make it look like she is accepting of gays. I'll bet if a close friend ended up in a wheelchair, she'd be yelling for all to hear, "this is my friend who now has to use a wheelchair. or OMG, don't say that cus we have a disabled person here whose feelings could be hurt!" I had a girlfriend in HS who didn't have many friends due to a social disorder as I call it, called Aspergers Syndrome, it is found with other disorders on whats called the Autism Spectrum. The gal you mention reminds me sooo much of the girlfriend. I am attaching the link so you can read a description of what an Aspergers person is like and I am sure you will agree it sounds alot like this gal you mention. If so, there is nothing she can do to stop doing this, this is who she is and needs to be accepted for who she is. I remember many one sided conversations with her, her being repetitive in her actions and what she said. Sometimes she told me something she'd shared 3 times already and I always pretended as if it was the first and gave her that kind of attention. Unless you should choose to not be friends with her anymore, its a matter of resigning yourself to grinning and bearing it as part of who she is.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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I have met these types of girls. They are so dramatic about everything, lake a cartoon character. In older movies it was common to have literal cartoon characters along side living people. Girls like her make me feel like I am in one of those movies.
you can not change her personality. You just have to find a way to deal with it. Find something funny or charming about her cartoonist antics. Also take comfort in the fact that you are not the only one she acts crazy toward.
She is sweet, loyal to her friends, good intentioned, but not to bright. :)
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