Sherry's advice column

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Q: i have never wanted something more haha i sound ridiculous but PLEASE help me. i NEED the new iphone. i NEED it. but without an upgrade it costs like $700. yeah not happening. what are some easier ways i could get the phone? can i use someone elses upgrde? AAAHHHHHH PLEASE HELP ME

It's an excellent phone. I switch out my "old" iPhone for the new one every summer with no problems as far as upgrade eligibility goes.

You have a few options:

1) Talk to an AT&T representative by calling 611 from your mobile phone OR visiting a local AT&T store. Based on how much you've payed thus far in terms of your monthly bills, you may be upgraded for "free". This is because sometimes AT&T will see that you're a loyal and paying customer. For example, my best friends iPhone bill was roughly $100 a month when he got his 3GS on the launch day. After announcement of the iPhone 4, he asked AT&T for a free upgrade. They gave it to him. "Ask and you shall receive."

2) If you're on a family plan, see who IS eligible for upgrade and kindly ask them if you can use it for the coolest phone in the world. ;-) AT&T is very nice about using others eligible lines for your iPhone...and the process is simple!

3) You can have someone take over your AT&T phone and bill, then sign up for Verizon.

Good luck!

P.S.
I used my iPhone to type out this answer! ;)

Q: I am an 18 year old female who is a virgin. If I give a guy oral sex am I still a virgin?

Please don't perform oral sex on a guy who is trying to convince you to do so by saying you will still be a virgin. Yes, you will still be a virgin. But if you have to talk about this...maybe you're not ready? Good luck and be safe!

Q: Okay i am 15 years old and am a female. And i was hanging out with my friends and i met my friends friend Donny. He turns 19 next week. He has a son who turns 2 in october. i've hung out with him starting back a few months ago. But i do like him. Which i know is really bad...but no one can help feelings. And my bestfriend is trying to figure out if he likes me back...everyone thinks him and i would be cute together but there is many faults.. age for one. 2. the son. 3. some of the friends we share i am not aloud to hangout with. 4. he has some issues at home. but i cant help but be attracted to him. I just want to hear peoples opinions on how you guys think this would work out. Should i go for it, or should i drop it?

Reading this question, I was like okay okay okay...WHAT? at the sentence "He has a son who turns 2 in October." There's a lot of things wrong with this situation and you know them because you said them yourself!

He's nineteen, has a son, you're fifteen and dating him is considered illegal...

Look, I understand you like him a lot. I've liked guys that I just couldn't be with. I even took the "I don't care" approach and dated one guy only to be heartbroken in the end. Once you get involved it's much harder not to let go, so leave now and don't turn back. Your feelings for him will eventually go away.

Q: So last night I was at a dance it was kinda boring but the my group went to dinner and around ten I decided to text the guy I liked who said he couldn't come to the dance bc he switched schools like a week before the dance and so I went some other guy but I couldn't stop thinking about the guy I liked so I texted him and the whole night no response and I felt stupid now this morning I wake up and it says he texted me back at 2 am well I fell asleep at one so now I feel even more stupid what and when should I text him bc last time a while ago I texted him back in the morning around 12 and he didn't respond after that should I wait till tonight or what?

Text him back whenever you'd like. Some people aren't the type to respond right away to texts. I get paranoid when people don't text me back, and then I feel kind of dumb come to find out they were too busy. You can even text him to call you sometime, since you two are playing text-tag. Why not? Be bold, in the end it might be worth it!

Q: Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half have been going through a really rough time in our relationship. We have been trying to take some time apart in hopes that it will help. Unfortunetly it has done the exact opposite because he has been thinking that i am going around with some other guy. I haven't though, i have barely left my house. And now I have permanently destroyed the relationship i think because I completely freaked out and lost it. i told him that i did sleep with some one even though i didnt. i dont know why i even said that to him but now i dont know what to do. Is there anything at this point that i can even do?

Yes you can do something, you can tell him the truth. Two things can happen once you try to confess. Either a) He won't believe you that you were lying or b) He'll believe you but will be upset with you for lying in the first place. Although both sound horrible, hope for B because eventually his anger will subside and you two can try to work things out. All you can do now is tell the truth, explain why you lied, and hope for the best.

P.S. Have someone vouch for you that you rarley have gone out like your parents or a friend.

Good luck!

Q: 17/f

Hi- this is kind of the opposite of a normal relationship question. Basically, there's this guy who likes me at school. He gets sort of tongue tied when I'm around and my friends say he likes me, and that he'll try to ask me out soon. The problem is, I'm actually not interested in dating. This guy is great in a lot of ways but I've never been on a date and I'm just not interested atm. how do I say no if he asks me out, without hurting his feelings?

Exactly how you asked this question! That he is a really great guy, but that you're not interested in dating at the moment. Try to elaborate if possible. You can also say things like (if they're true) that you're trying to focus on school/family/work etc. And also say that you don't mind just hanging out as friends if he doesn't mind either. There's no easy way to say no, but I think this is the easiest. It's not like you're completley shutting him out so I think he will take it well. Good luck.

Q: Why does friendship hurt?

Friendship my friend, hurts only sometimes. This is because people willingly or unwillingly do or say things to hurt other people. Most of the time though, it's a misunderstanding. Broken friendships can usually be mended through communication and good ol' fashioned hug.

And a friend request on Facebook ;)

Q: so I was hooking up with this guy and i gave him a bj and he said it was really good. we were just chilling and talking after that and he seems really nice and funny, he's a good guy. then i kinda hinted it was my turn and he said he would but he didn't have anything to clean his hands with (we were in my basement room withtout a sink or anything and he couldn't go upstairs), but that he felt really bad. but i told him it was fine he didn't have to. then he said "well at least it makes you come back for more" and i said jokingly of course "nahh not at all!" but he knew i was joking i thinkk. so do you think he wants to do it again? i cannot read guys at alll haha thanks!

Yes, I do think that you have chances of hooking up again. It just seems that because of the circumstances that day, you couldn't continue. But trust me, he's happy he gets to be around you and he'll pursue things with you at a later date. Be safe and have fun!

Q: Ok my bf is going off to school and we had plans to make it work and stay together then... his mom stepped in! She told him I was going to be a distraction from following his dreams and he didnt need a gf. We love each other so much and mean the world to each other we dont want to lose each other but hhe keeps listening to her over his heart and what he wants. I will be there supporting him and making his dreams come true but they keep putting stuff in his head and not letting him think for himself. Please help me IDK what to do and Im about to lose the only thing that makes me happy all around. We are perfect for each other minus her but I know she is his mom.

I think you need to talk to his mom. Do it with respect and tell her that you understand that a mother is only interested in whats best for their child. Then, explain how much you care for him and explain how much you care for eachother. Ask her why she feels the need to break the two of you up so badly. How does she know you will be a distraction when he hasn't even gone off to school yet? Why not let him go to school and make the decision for himself once he realizes it isn't or is too much to handle? That's the best way to go about things. Ask her these questions and communicate! Ultimatley though, it should be your boyfriends decision. At the end of the day he is an adult now and he's also YOUR boyfriend. Now you don't have the advantage in this though, because in the back of his head, he'll think about what his mom wants. That's where you can come in and prove to him that you're a good thing for him and he shouldn't let you go. Good luck!

Q: could anybody help me I am 29 years old male and in love with a girl (24years) in the same company but in different department. since I never had any girlfriend so it is very difficult to let her feel my strong feeling for her but anyhow I ask her directly that am in love with her want to marry her but she refused but I can recognised that she also like me after 4-5 fays I made a call she say that i should forget her but It could not be happen. she is also very shy now am very much depressed and want to know what to do pls help and suggest. she also says me that she likes someone else but am 100% sure that she is single and there may be some other problem but she doesn't want to talk her eyes indicates that she also likes me pls suggest,I don't know what to do now in this condition and feeling very helpless.

This woman DOES NOT like you. I think she's been letting you down easily and that's very nice of her. I think if I was her, I'd get a restraining order on you based on the things you said in your question. Listen, she says forget about her so you need to do that. It's all in your head that she likes you. If a woman says "forget about me" and she rejects a proposal of marriage...she did so for a reason. Move on. Leave her alone. You will find someone else.

Q: Im becoming seriously DEPRESSEEDD !
Im my own worst emeny and things are getting way out of control .
I dont have confidence in myself or anything and it seems like I have no one I could talk to about thiss cause they wil probalay all judge me and I cant have that right now .
I look in the mirror and she a ugly girl and its really sad . i have to pretend im smiling when others are around me knowing im really sad inside . My life pretty much SUCKS . Any Advice ?

What are the reasons behind your depression? I've been struggling with depression all my life. Mostly because I've never been skinny and I am at a constant battle with my weight. The day I had a different outlook was when I met a 300 lb teenager that was so full of life. She was the cool kid in high school, everyone loved her. She invited me to a pool party and she was the first to jump in with her bathing suit on. I remember wanting to drop my jaw because I would NEVER do that! I realized at the moment that if she could be happy despite her physical appearance, so could I. And so can you! I think if you look deep inside, you'll see that you're a pretty cool chick! You just have to check yourself everyday. When a negative thought comes into your head, replace it with a positive one. If you ever need to talk, you can email me anytime (shereengeorges@yahoo.com) But I think you're selling yourself too short by not talking to other people around you about your depression. If you're close enough to confide in them, their close enough to you to WANT to listen and WANT to help. Good luck! Keep your head up!

And listen to Lady Gaga's Born That Way!

Q: I lied to my friends about what was going on with a guy I loved, he found out and now he doesn't like me, did I blow it because he still flirts and talks back to me, he is embarresed to be with me though, around his friends he treats me very badly and I want to know if I blew because I still love him... I hope he still likes me.

Well all you have to do is backtrack. If you knew he liked you before, I'm sure he still likes you now. Feelings for someone can't go away overnight. Tell him that you do like him, but didn't want to tell your friend the truth because of the potential drama that could have erupted as a result. He will understand! Good luck.

Q: 15 f Bf: 17 m

To start off, I'm a very paranoid person in my relationship, because things happened which made me even more paranoid, and I don't know how I can just stop and relax.

I love my boyfriend, very much and I don't want to lose him. He has a hard life, his girl friends never treated him right, one actually slept with her step father, and said that he stalked her. His first girl friend passed away, in a car accident. I'm the only girl who has actually been faithful and loyal to you. I Love him very much. I just want him to be happy with me, he had feelings first for my best friend..who isn't my best friend now. His feelings recently came back because he spent more time with her, He resolved things with her, and he promised me he only wants to be with me.

I noticed, that he can't look me in the eye when he says "I Love You." I noticed him doing that, at the last dance at our school..and he said it's because he has been hurt so many times..:/ So, should I just relax and stop worrying or what? Do you think I'm just overreacting?

I think his trust has really been battered and the only way that you can prove you're going to stick around without hurting him is through your actions. I'm sure you're doing everything right, so just keep doing what you're doing. Eventually he will let you in and be more open to you as time passes. As far your paranoia is concerned, just let it go or it will make you go a little nutso. It really is ALL in your head. You need to understand that you have the opportunity to be the BEST thing to come into his life since sliced bread, so love him and treat him with respect. Be a great girlfriend and he will inturn be a great boyfriend.

Oh and think about this, if he really liked your best friend...wouldn't he be with her and not you? He's with you for a reason so don't sweat it.

Q: Whenever my best friend comes over, her bratty little sister has to come too. I can't stand it anymore. They always end up fighting, and the sister calls their dad and they have to leave. I know it's mean but it's true. She's also always bugging me about coming over. I like her and all but she's not really my friend. We're all girls, I'm 14 my friend is 15 and her sister is like 10. How can I stop this but not be mean? They both are kinda moody, and get upset easily.

Their moody because their with eachother! I think you and your friend would have a much more enjoyable time if the little sister was out of the picture. Does the sister have to come over? Have your friend sit down with her parents and say that her sister is ruining your time together. If the parents say no, have her bring a friend her age so they can keep eachother occupied. OR do you have friends, cousins, neighbors that are ages 9-11 that can hang out with her?

I had to bring my little sister along whereever I went too, and my parents were stubborn about me ditching her. It's all apart of the big sister role, so don't hate your friend TOO much for it.

Q: How do I stop my period for a hour

Usually your period will "stop" if you go swimming for longer than thirty minutes OR if you shower for longer than thirty minutes. It will stop for up to a couple hours, but really it all depends on your body.

Q: Hi! Help me please! You'd be doing me a solid.♥

I'm Spencer, female, 17, college freshman. So, there's this guy I like, he's my classmate. I've kind of liked him for a month now and for the past few weeks I've been trying my hardest to do all the right moves but somehow I don't feel like I've progressed. But despite that, I don't wanna give up. But I don't even know what to do.

So this guy I like, he's 18, college freshman and we have 3 classes together. But we also have friends in those classes. About our relationship, well we've known each other since the schoolyear started but we belong to different groups. We're not like, 'oh we're friends and we're nice to each other', no, he actually likes to bully and joke around with people (me included). I always try my best to make small talk with him or something but sometimes I fail or sometimes I succeed (for like a day and then never again).

So please help me? I'm out of ideas and I just realized I don't even have much of a plan to win this guy over. I've put on makeup for him, watched his favorite show (men wrestling btw) just so I could talk to him about it, punch him lightly just to get his attention, IDK anymore. So, advice? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?:(

P.S. Every Monday I get an opportunity to be alone with him. We walk together to our next class because we're in the same building. That's roughly 8, 10 minutes? I've tried to like converse with him but usually I'd just ask and he'd just answer. Conversation ended. Then it'd be super awkward. I don't wanna sound desperate, asking another question over another after every answer like an interview (is that desperate?) so sometimes I just allow the silence between us. Any advice on how to maximize my opportunity here??

P.P.S. We have PE together. His partner's a girl and I can't help but feel jealous when they're talking, laughing, seemingly having fun. But at the same time, I don't think I can intervene because we perform by different groups. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I don't wanna lose to her or whatever. Advice in this area would be great too.

Sorry if that was long. But I honestly need help!:( Any great advice would be incredibly awesome (and if I succeed, I promise to let you all know). So please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please,
PLEASE HELP ME! God rewards good people..:)) JK, but seriously though! I need your help!

Thank you in advance! You guys are awesome.♥

xoxo,
Spencer
17
Female

I agree whth the person below me. I think you are both old enough to know when someone likes you and is trying to get your attention. You've done all the right things yet he still hasn't said or done anything to show that he likes you too. Maybe he just sees you as a good friend? Maybe you're trying a bit TOO hard. Guys like the chase, remember? Either way, you should back off a bit. Don't completely ignore him, but don't shower him with the attention you've been giving as of late. Time will only to tell if this guy likes you or if you're just meant to be awesome friends!

Oh and don't be sad if it's the latter. You're in college! You will meet so many different people (that are smokin' hot!) over the next four years. You will find someone!

"P.S."
This is going to tie in with the fact that "guys like the chase." Ditch him one Monday! Walk with your friends or by yourself. Next time he sees you, he'll ask why you didn't walk with him. Just say you were busy with your friends. Leave it at that. Then the next Monday, walk with him as if nothing happened.

"P.P.S"
As far as his PE partner goes, let your jealousy go. The guys you like, your future boyfriends, and your husband will always have girl-friends so it's in your best interest to stop being jealous. Otherwise it will drive you crazy for the rest of your life. Just be secure about yourself, know that you're awesome
and those girls are too...but never as awesome as you!

Good luck!

:)

Q: yesterday my friend admitted to me that she had been pulling her eyebrows and eyelashes out for the last four years, I've noticed that she didn't have hair there, but only brought it up once and she never answered ,me then. She told me she started because she thought her eyebrows were too brushy so she removed them and kept removing them then began to get rid of her eyelashes too.

She told me that in 2010 she tried to stop but could only go 6 days before she began again. She told me she pulls at least once every five days. I wanted her to get professional health and she said her mom thinks its just a self-control problem not a medical problem because she doesn't pull the hair on the head out, and her mom won't be willing to pay for professional help.

How can i help her?

There is this show called "My Strange Addiction" that airs on TLC every Wednesday night. Everyone featured on the show has addictions such as eating soap and laundry detergent.

One woman has an extreme form of what your friend has. It's extreme in that after she pulls out her hair she likes to eats most of it. In the show, there is a psychiatrist and therapist that both shed light on the disease. You can visit TLC.Discovery.Com or YouTube "My Strange Addiction Hair". I would send the YouTube link myself, but I'm using my iPhone to answer this question. Sorry.

Here's an Internet link to the blog made by users who've seen the show.
http://blogs.discovery.com/tlc-my-strange-addiction/2011/01/pulling-out-hair.html

I suggest, however, checking local listings in your area to see the full episode. This will let your friend better understand her disease and know that she's not alone. Seven million people in the US suffer from this! Crazy, I know!

Q: How to act and show my boyfriend that I no more care for him

Can you be a little more specific? Tell us about your intentions. Are you trying to make him pay more attention to you or are you trying to end the relationship? If you truly do not care for him anymore, your actions will show it without you even trying.

Q: how much was everyones first car?

im going to be getting my liscense soon.
just curious on average how much i am looking to spend on a car?
also, any cute cars that are not wayy expensive.
im looking to get a used car, obviously.
something small, sporty.
& im 15/f
thanks :]

Agree with the guy that said American cars suck! My first car was a 2001 Toyota Camry and it had 86,000 miles. We paid $13,000 for it. Honda's or Toyota's last you forever. You could probably get one for under $10,000.

A lot of car company's try to attract you by what the car looks like rather than building a good engine. Honda's, Toyota's and the like are built with excellent engines AND they look good too!

Q: I dont understand.. like you know in reality shows when they show the people talking like backstage or something? when do they shoot this? it has bugged me for ages. like in shows such as america's next top model, or a shot at love with tila tequila.. when do they have time to shoot people backstage to get their opinions? cause they are also wearing totally different clothes than they were before.. and I dont think they shoot all the backstage comments at the same time cause usually you see the person change 2-3 times.

also, who do you think won A shot at love with Tila Tequila? I'm thinking Dani.

Well for all the shows, they set up certain interview times for each person. Then producers will ask them questions about current things going on in the house...or whatever. Pretty much they sit down and producers will say "Talk about her" or "How do you feel about what shes doing"? Then they take tid bits from each interview for each show. It's pretty cool how they put them together. Yeah so...