Member Since: October 8, 2011
Answers: 77
Last Update: May 22, 2018
Visitors: 3718
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My parents would go out with their friends at night while I was little. The eldest son of their friends was paid to babysit my sister and I while they were out. I never liked him. He would usually throw my toys out the window or lock me outside the apartment. I told my parents and they did nothing. Even though it's been over 12 years since I never forgave them for ignoring things like that. But there was more than that. I never told them that the babysitter would kiss me a lot and even tried to cuddle me in my sister's bed. Since this happened over a decade ago I feel that my parents would treat it like an issue that's not important anymore. They've done that before when I told them about the other behaviors of the babysitter. He lives in another country now and my family has no contact with him or his family.
Is what I had to put up with considered abuse? If so, what should I do about it now? (link)
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It's considered sexual harassment I believe, as long as you showed some signs of not wanting him to do those things. I think that it's never too late to tell your parents. They may not be able to do anything with him or his family now, but I bet you would feel better if you got it off your chest. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hoped that I could help :)
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I'm 14 and my friend is a year older than I. We've been friends since we were little kids and our parents are close friends. Awhile ago my dad was on Twitter and he saw her page and it said stuff like "I like sex". I told my dad it wasn't hers because I didn't believe she would do something like that plus when we hang uo she doesn't seem like that. So today my friend from church was on Instagram and she showed me a picture of her in only her bra (it was a top of the body picture) and I was like wth. I need to know if I should tell my dad he was right and tell him to talk to her parent or if I should try to talk to her myself or if I should just leave it alone. If I tell my dad I'm scared she might be mad at me. And if I talk to her what should I say? Please help! (link)
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I understand where you're coming from and I would be concerned too if my friend was doing something like that. But before you tell your dad, I think you should talk to her yourself. Ask her what's going on and maybe why she chose to post that picture. But don't come at her attacking her, or she will get defensive and it probably won't end well. She needs to be shown that someone cares about her, and this is your opportunity to do that. If things get worse then I think it's best to just take it to the next level and tell your dad or some other adult that can talk to her. Hoped that I could help, thanks bye :)
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i am 13, and i live with my adoptive parents. my real mom had me at 16 and got me token away when i was very young. i have always said that i would not be a teen mom, that i would wait for after marriage. but yesterday i found out that i am pregnant. how do i tell my parents? and i will not get an abortion and i don't want to give my baby away. so how will i tell my mom( that is 6 months pregnant) and dad that their 13 year old daughter is pregnant and wants to keep her baby? (link)
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It's a very difficult situation obviously. But, the best thing to do is just sit down and have an honest conversation with them. You clearly can't keep it a secret, so I think that the more honest you are with them, the easier it will be. Sure they may be upset or confused but they'd be more upset if you try and hide it from them. They are your parents so you do need to respect whatever plans they may have for the baby. But you can still maturely and respectfully state that you don't want to give the baby away or have an abortion. I'll be praying for you and I hope things get better for you :)
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My best friend has started dating a guy from my work who used to heavily pursue me. This went on for years, the guy bought me a necklace and everything. I feel very weird about her dating him now so is it just me or is that strange for her to do that? (link)
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I'm assuming that your friend knows that this guy was heavily pursuing you. So with that being said, yes i do find it a little strange for all three of you. Here's why:
-This guy could possibly be dating him just so that he can have an excuse to get closer to you.
-Your friend knows that things are awkward between the two of you, so now she's kind of the cream of the oreo because, she's your bff and his gf.
As to what you should do about it, I can't say personally. It's obviously awkward for you but, I don't think that it would be your place to try and break them up. However, if you're having strong feelings about this, I think you need to express them to your best friend if it makes you uncomfortable. However, make sure you're not doing it in an offensive way. Hoped that I could help.
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Ok, so my bestfriend from middleschool, we're both 16 and just graduated this year, is very close to me. He's like my brother, and we really do things like siblings. But of course, new schools means new friends, but we still get in touch. One day, he asked me if I'd like to watch the movies with him and his new schoolfriends, and I feel like i'm invading a forbidden space. Should I join them? (link)
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I understand where you're coming from and why you may feel a little stand- offish about hanging out with him and his new friends. However, realize that he is trying to make an effort to hang out with you, and that really does mean something. I don't think he would ignore you or make you feel like the third wheel. Otherwise, he wouldn't have invited you in the first place. Maybe he feels like you and his new friends would hit it off great! Give it a chance and then if it doesn't work out, at least you know you made an effort. Hoped that I could help.
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hey! I have this guy best friend and him and I have feelings for each other and are really close. Lately, his car stopped working and he can't go anywhere and has to stay at home with his parents. He's talked about me coming over and seeing him but I rejected it. I really want to go over and surprise him but I'm not sure how to do it or what to expect. Any ideas? (link)
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I don't think it's wise for you to "surprise him". Think of how badly that could go... Not to be the rain on your parade but, he may be in decent, it might be a time when his family doesn't want company, his parents may not be okay with you just "surprising him". I don't think there's anything wrong with visiting him but you should do it in a respectable way. And I don't think coming over without warning would be okay with his parents and maybe not even with him. Just being realistic here! Hoped that I could help.
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I know most people will read the header of this question and immediately have their mind made up. And I used to be one of those people.
I am 21 and he's 22. I've been with this man for 2 years and 10 months. We've had our fights and struggles, sure, but we've always been a pretty strong couple. I trust him more than I trust myself. He's a wonderful person and I never in a million years thought I would be asking myself this question.
It happened when we were out at a bar, and we were arguing about whatever it is drunk couples argue about at 1:30 am on a street outside of a bar. Something about me not wanting to leave and he being upset that I called him a jerk. We hardly ever speak harshly towards each other. Honestly it doesn't matter what the fight was because the fact of the matter is he shoved me, hard. Had I been sober, it may not have mattered. But between that and the force of his push I fell, hit my face on the curb, scratched my face and busted my lip. It looks bad. Of course he felt bad, and of course he apologized. My friends were horrified and he couldn't even look at me. And now I'm just angry. I'm angry for getting drunk and fighting. I'm angry that he pushed me. And I'm angry that I was so badly hurt because I want to just pretend like it never happened. But I feel like everyone is looking at me like I have to dump him... I love him and I never want this to happen again. I respect myself. But I feel like unless I do something, I will look like I don't. I'm just confused and lost and hurt and am looking for any insight what so ever! (link)
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To begin the first problem is that you trust him more then you trust yourself. If the relationship doesn't go well and ends, the last thing you want is to feel like the only person you could trust is out of your life. Secondly, don't think that just because he is really sorry this time that it won't happen again. Don't think that just because he was drunk that it won't happen again. I know that this hurts you a lot but you really need to think in the sense of long term. Do you want to marry someone who shoves you around, or does worse? I'm not saying he has to be a perfect man who never gets upset, I'm just saying be careful. At the end of the day the choice is yours whether you should stay with him or not. But take into consideration all the things I've said please. Hoped that I could help.
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Is it weird to hang out with my teacher outside of school? We're very close and go out to dinner and movies. The relationship is platonic, so is it at all illegal? I'm supposed to be my teacher's student next year, but don't know how I'm supposed to be professional when she's told me secrets about herself and the other teachers at my school. I find it irksome that she has singled me out and has decided to spend time with me and favor me over all other students in my class. Is she at fault here? (link)
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I think it may be a little inappropriate for your teacher to hang out with you outside of school. Not because you guys are doing anything illegal or wrong but because, it can be easy for people to become skeptical about it. You should listen to your mom and trust that she knows best. I think your teacher needs to keep her relationship with you professional and only associate with you in school settings. Sorry! Hoped that I could help.
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Hello!im 11 and i wanna dye my hair blue don't worry my parents are okay with it!:D im also aware that ill have to bleach it which causes breakage but im worried about my school suspending me if i come into class with blue hair i really want to dye it i wont regret it at all so im wondering what should i do? (link)
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Look at your schools dress code policy and see what it says about your hair. If it says you can't have bright, distracting colors then don't do it. Or just dye it temporarily for the Summer. Hoped that I could help.
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I have not given my older brother a gift in forever. We both have been through alot, it seems like its something all the time. I don't want give him anything cheesy I want it to be the best gift ever. I am almost 15 and he turns 16 in a few weeks. He deserves something nice. One time I felt bad because he bought me a phone with his game money. I was thinking about buying him the game and a picture frame, but I think that is a little to girly.... (link)
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I think that the best thing you can get him, is the game because he sacrificed getting it for himself so that he could get you a phone. Just observe the type of things that he's into, his favorite type of things and go based off of that. If you still don't know what to get him, ask him his favorite things. Like his favorite restaurant, favorite color, favorite movie... things like that. But make sure you don't just ask him one thing, because that would give it away ;). I hoped that I could help, and that your brother likes whatever you get him!
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Hi,
I'm usually pretty good at giving advice, but this I can't help myself with. I'm 13 and I just got transferred to a new place. I've been here for two months now. As many people here are teens they love to act all grown up and I'm not comfortable with the kind of things they do and the language they use, so I'm not friends with anyone, I tried to adjust and get used to them but without a friend I just can't manage. I'm kind of shy but I can make friends easily, but no one is like me (a little kiddish and crazy) everyone loves to act all grown up. I'm having a tough time making friends, please give me some advice on how I can adjust or I'll end up a lonely girl who talks to herself (link)
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Aww, I can say I know what you're going through. I was in private school my whole life and then went straight to public high school! I know what you mean by people trying to act all grown up and like they have life perfectly figured out. But don't lose hope! I know you may feel like EVERYONE acts that way, but I can assure you that's not true! There are toooons of people, with tons of different personalities. I know it may be hard to find people that don't act all grown up or annoying, but don't give up! A friend will come your way! I pray that you find good, positive friends! Hoped that I could help!
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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it. (link)
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I understand what you mean! Me going to a high school everyday definitely exposes me to excessive PDA. However, a quick kiss or hug in public is harmless! But when people start major lip locking or... worse things, it can be rude and awkward towards other people. I can't really speak for everyone but I'm sure some people do it for attention and others do it because they lack self control. I hope that you don't have to experience excessive PDA much more! Hoped that I could help! Thanks
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hi hope you can help me i'm a 15 year old male i'm a devout christian i love god with all my heart and i wanna be a better christian and devote my life to god i want to help people to get closer to god i wantto start to spread god's word i'm a bit nervous not sure where to start but i want to start talkinhg to people about god maybe start with people that i know not sure how do i go about it? (link)
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I'm so glad that there are people in the world like you! The best way for you to spread God's word and portray his love is simply by being real with people! Everyone has a testimony, and testimonies is something that really appeals to people because it's real life. It's real struggles that people have overcome by the grace of God. So i suggest you should spread the word of God by realizing what he's done in your life and what he's saved you from and sharing that with people. People will feel compelled to listen if you are real with them. Also reading God's word and retaining those scriptures can help when people have questions about salvation. I hoped that I could help and I hope you have a blessed day. God loves you and is pleased with what you're doing!
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How to get a boy to like u without telling them u like them
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Just keep being who you are, and if he likes you he'll make an effort to communicate that to you. Don't try and force yourself into his path.
Just show him what a good friend you can be, and if things are meant to work out darling, they shall! Hoped that I could help :)
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My two best friends are at war. All simply BC my friend, who will be referred to as K, and I were talking during recess while we were waiting for her, O, and our other friend, A. We were in the far corner of the school yard and we turn to see them look at us then turn away. We thought they wanted to talk in private so we left them alone. A and her "friend" B walked over to us and began to yell saying we were being "rude." Eventually, we got over this part. I still don't like A or B, but whatever. O and K pretty much ignore each other completely and O sends me to tell K stuff. I'm kind of in the middle, not wanting to take sides, even though K is right BC she did absolutely nothing wrong. What should I do? (link)
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It is very childish, and you should not stress yourself out about it. Just tell all of your friends that ALL of it was a misunderstanding and everyone should just apologize and put it behind you guys. This way you won't have to single anyone out and make them feel bad. Hoped that I could help :)
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Someone posted a selfie with #HMU4ATBH and I have no idea what that means. When I tried that hashtag all I got were more selfies? What? (link)
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H= Hit
M= Me
U= Up
4= For
A= A
T= To
B= Be
H= Honest
After liking the picture, the user gives their honest opinion of you, or something simpler such as a nice compliment :)
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(Not quite sure if i put this in the right category, sorry!)
Okay so this past summer, i became close with an older guy, he was 18 and graduated and i was 14 and getting ready to enter high school. He began asking me inappropriate things, such as if i touch myself, and if i've ever thought about being with a guy sexually, etc. I was (and still am) a very anxious person, and was too afraid to tell him that he was making me uncomfortable, and played along instead. He began getting more and more inappropriate as the weeks went on, admitting to liking me in a more than a friend way (which i usually wouldn't have had a problem with, had he behaved differently) and in the heat of the moment in a conversation about bsdm, he offered that if i was ever curious about that, he'd be glad to try it with me, and even tried to kiss me once (note that since i had a problem with telling him no, he had asked me the day before if i would be okay with it, and i had agreed to it) and said that he wanted to go father than just a kiss, saying things like "If i get to do what i want tomorrow, i bet you won't be able to keep quiet ;)" and "We can start small, and see where that takes us" and also keep in mind that while i was against all of this, he had no idea and thought that i was okay with it. The few people that i've told about this have said that he was still behaving inappropriately, as he is a grown man and i am a minor who is much younger than him, and that he shouldn't have made those sexual advances to begin with, but i still think that it was really my fault for allowing him to keep going, and that it makes what he did okay. What do you guys think? (note that he never touched me, only spoke of it and told me he was going to, but he left for the army before he could do so. He did try to kiss me but stopped when my mom came back inside the house) (link)
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To begin, while you should have voiced that you weren't comfortable with the things he was saying and doing it's not your fault. If he knew how old you were then he should have never been saying those things. For future preparation... always tell your mom if you feel someone is making you uncomfortable and two be careful who you let get close to you(As in relationship wise). I hope that I helped
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Personally, I have been very miserable all of my life. I have suffered from OCD as long as I can remember. I moved from New York to Florida when I was five years old. It was very traumatic for me. I have tried to commit suicide, but I just ended up in a mental institution. I do see a psychiatrist, but she does not help me. In fact, I only see her for the medication. I am absolutely miserable right now, especially with my job. I decided that I will no longer give any types of hints about suicide because I don't want to end up in a mental institution again. That did nothing to help me. I am going through preparations (getting my house ready, cleaning, trying to pay off bills). (link)
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I know that a lot of bad things have happened in your life but believe me, ending your life is NOT the solution. It's not up to us when our life ends. I know you may feel hopeless, or helpless, or miserable but trust me ending your life would affect so many people around you. I want you to make a list of the bad things that have happened to you that are weighing you down and write as many solutions as possible to all those problems. Many people that have attempted suicide and have survived said as they were trying to take their life they were thinking about all the ways they could fix their problems. I'm not saying everything is going to be better overnight but trust me Jesus loves you and has a plan for you. Don't lose hope. You're not better off dead, you have a purpose! I believe in you if you feel no one else does! I hope you find peace and the love of God! Don't lose faith please!
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This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks (link)
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Well I can't just list things not to do because, everyone is different and what you may consider flirting I may not consider flirting. But I can say if you don't like him then don't lead him on and pretend that you like him back. There's nothing wrong with being nice and cordial but remember that guys sometimes take your niceness as being a flirt so just be careful. Hoped that I could help. Thanks.
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I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for. (link)
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Well I am only Criminal Justice Major in high school I'm not 100% sure what you have to look forward to. I do know that if you turn yourself in you will be interrogated. Whether they take you into custody or not... I'm not sure. If they don't take you into custody and you just willingly go to talk to the police you have the option to leave or not answer questions at any time. If you are in custody they absolutely HAVE to read you your Miranda Rights otherwise, you can't be tried. While you made a BAD decision, it's good to know that you're making the decision to turn yourself in. Hoped that I could help.
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