|
My friend is doing inappropriate stuff
I'm 14 and my friend is a year older than I. We've been friends since we were little kids and our parents are close friends. Awhile ago my dad was on Twitter and he saw her page and it said stuff like "I like sex". I told my dad it wasn't hers because I didn't believe she would do something like that plus when we hang uo she doesn't seem like that. So today my friend from church was on Instagram and she showed me a picture of her in only her bra (it was a top of the body picture) and I was like wth. I need to know if I should tell my dad he was right and tell him to talk to her parent or if I should try to talk to her myself or if I should just leave it alone. If I tell my dad I'm scared she might be mad at me. And if I talk to her what should I say? Please help!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I understand where you're coming from and I would be concerned too if my friend was doing something like that. But before you tell your dad, I think you should talk to her yourself. Ask her what's going on and maybe why she chose to post that picture. But don't come at her attacking her, or she will get defensive and it probably won't end well. She needs to be shown that someone cares about her, and this is your opportunity to do that. If things get worse then I think it's best to just take it to the next level and tell your dad or some other adult that can talk to her. Hoped that I could help, thanks bye :)
]
i know shes your best friend but shes getting older now and stuff like that are accepted in a way in our society, thats her buisness if she wants to be that way it shouldnt concern you if you get me, theres no need to tell nobody except her, just ask her "how come you have them things up" but say it as nice as possible, anyways its not a big deal just very disrespectful but at the end of the day who am i to judge and its her life your going to have to accept it
]
Know that if you mention the photo of her in a bra she'll likely fight back that it isn't pornography as she had her bra on and that it covers as much or more than a bikini bathing top. However she is playing a dangerous game. Its one thing if she is secretly sending more and more risque photos until she is nude to just one boy. But one boy is all it takes to have it go viral around school not to mention the internet. I've heard the true stories of a guy bragging to his friends and later his friends grabbing his phone and sending a gals naked or suggestive pics to other boys. In some cases, indictive girls who felt they had a claim on a guy were the ones to find those photos and send them on. The kind of ribbing, teasing, hateful bullying, name calling and people avoiding her or guys trying to force her for sex thinking she's easy game for everyone and likes it, is very dramatic and has in many cases led to the teen girl commiting suicide because she couldn't handle it. So I also agree to talk to her and if she doesn't quit, then her parents need to know and your mom or dad would be good ones to do the sharing of such information after you've shown them proof of what she's doing.
]
You should first try and talk to her for what she is doing is dangerous. When you do talk to her there are two different directions you can take in talking to her.
1. Tell her how dangerous it is to put photos like the ones you have seen out on the Internet. Once out their they can never be taken back. Anyone can see them as they can get passed from one person to the next not just by her friends. There are people out there that see these picture and read some of the things she is saying who have very evil intentions. Not just sexual predators but predators looking to do girls like her serious physical harm.
Then of course there is the reputation she will get at school. True or false once she is labeled with a reputation she cannot change it. She will be seen as promiscuous or easy labels no teenage girls what.
2. If the facts of life in the first way don't work then maybe the legal consequences of what she is doing will. Taking photos of herself out on the web as she has done is called child pornography. Putting those pictures out on the WEB is called distribution of child pornography both of which are felonies for which, even though they are pictures of herself she can be arrested for and charged accordingly.
Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and other social media companies are working with Law enforcement to track down people posting pictures like this on the WEB. When they find them they are charged with crimes their age is not a protection. They are doing this to protect them and others against the predators or lurk on the web to find girls like her who are foolish enough to do this and would be foolish enough to meet these people in person. This is when they get harmed.
If none of the above seems to have any affect on her then it is appropriate to tell your dad. It is better she be alive and mad at you then you attend her funeral.
]
maybe let her know that her doing things like that is going to attract the wrong kind of people. perverts, molesters, and god knows what else here.
Shes putting herself out there as someone that shes really not and this could lead her down a dangerous road. if you want to try to talk to her first you can but if you find out shes still doing it i would talk to your dad and tell him that your genuinely worried about her and that you dont want her to get in trouble because that wont necessarily fix it cause she could just go elsewhere and keep doing it and then youll never know if she actually stopped or not.
he needs to tell her parents and then they need to say it doesnt matter how, i found out the point is i know. (only do this if your NOT going to talk to her first because youll be the first one she blames for it later)
If you think you can talk to her and handle this between you youngsters then thats fine too, but if she keeps it up she will find herself in some hot water someday with a guy she gave the wrong impression to about herself and some guys are violent when they feel mislead ok.....so she needs to just stop now while shes ahead.
just tell her that you saw the pic she posted, that your concerned for her, and that posting things like that could mislead and/or attract the wrong kind of attention. unless thats what shes going for.
Young girls sell on the market for pretty high in the world of human trafficking when it comes to prostitution my friend. All it takes is her meeting up with someone who is misleading HER back as some cute young guy and they could snatch her and sell her for money in mexico or something, so this is more about her safety then it is about when people she knows will actually think.....
have a heart to heart with her, warn her of what shes doing, and of her safety and hope to god she listens......
good luck
]
More Questions: |