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Is it child abuse?
My parents would go out with their friends at night while I was little. The eldest son of their friends was paid to babysit my sister and I while they were out. I never liked him. He would usually throw my toys out the window or lock me outside the apartment. I told my parents and they did nothing. Even though it's been over 12 years since I never forgave them for ignoring things like that. But there was more than that. I never told them that the babysitter would kiss me a lot and even tried to cuddle me in my sister's bed. Since this happened over a decade ago I feel that my parents would treat it like an issue that's not important anymore. They've done that before when I told them about the other behaviors of the babysitter. He lives in another country now and my family has no contact with him or his family.
Is what I had to put up with considered abuse? If so, what should I do about it now?
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It's considered sexual harassment I believe, as long as you showed some signs of not wanting him to do those things. I think that it's never too late to tell your parents. They may not be able to do anything with him or his family now, but I bet you would feel better if you got it off your chest. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hoped that I could help :)
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A teenager fondling a young child would be a criminal act - not necessarily child abuse - but a criminal act.
Your parents could have, perhaps, been found to act inappropriately in allowing this teenager to babysit you, but also perhaps not. It's impossible to say so many years later if a judge would have felt about your parents were being reasonable and responsible to trust this teen, or if they had enough reason not too, and their leaving him with you was negligent on their part.
I'd really recommend you talk to a therapist about what you went through. If you want to do anything now, even speak to your parents about what happened, a therapist can help advise you and guide you through those conversations and their fallout. It's unlikely that there can be any consequences for him, or your parents, all these years later. The most important thing is to be happy and healthy yourself.
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Well, theres nothing really you CAN do now. IT was over ten ten years ago.
Its not abuse but it IS negligence on on your parents part to allow someone who did those kinds of things to you after you TOLD them about some of them to continue to allow it.
What you CAN do is maybe sometime when your all sitting around together just talking and you can find the right way to bring it up, you can tell them about it (maybe if they bring up memories of his parents or going out with them places)now coming from someone who is a parent i CAN tell you that it is hard to find a babysitter, let alone worrying about paying them and then also knowing that they can somewhat trust that person. Your parents might have been under the assumption that because they knew his family and his parents that they could then also trust that couples child. This is a WRONG assumption, usually times when parents know each other and they decide to have ones older kid watch anothers younger kid, that older child will feel actually COMFORTABLE, with "being themselves" around you or doing what they do when their by themselves because they feel they can get away with it.
Its also wrong of your parents to not listen to you when you told them another child did something to you no matter HOW young you are.
Are you sure your parents didnt speak with their friends maybe when you were asleep or just not around?? That is also another good way to bring this whole subject up, by asking "hey you know i always kinda wondered about something that really bothered me years back and i wanted to ask you about it...."
if your mom or whoever you feel you can talk to the most about it answers back and lets you know that its an ok time to talk about something then your in! go in for the kill and ask her if she ever spoke with so and so about the allegations to made against that boy that watched you years ago.
Tell them how you feel and that you felt like they didnt take what you said seriously as a kid. See what they have to say when you say this as the reaction to you saying something like that will you a pretty good idea as to how they feel about not only what you said but weather or not they take you seriously(even to this day). I know some parents dont take their kids seriously for whatever reason and that could have been the case here, but you can always tell them HOW those things having happened effected you as a child.
good luck
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