Let's see, about me - I'm an educated (but lowly-degreed) 20-something woman living in South Florida. I am highly familiar with music, youth subcultures, and women's issues. I'm slightly familiar with American history, Electronics, Judaism, and India. I'm vaguely familar with...well...everything else. I love good food and drink, but indulge in it infrequently. Oh, and I'm Black (partial Jamaican heritage) for what it's worth. But most importantly, I'm pretty open-minded...so ask away!
Website: Shona's Porch
E-mail: Rishona@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Miami, FL
Occupation: real estate title
Age: 26
Yahoo: MissNiceness79
Member Since: October 16, 2003
Answers: 74
Last Update: July 21, 2006
Visitors: 8056
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Does anyone have really good (and very slow) "love" songs? Thanks in advance. (link)
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"Always and Forever" by Luther Vandross. That song is pretty darn slow. You can watch a baby grow into a toddler at the pace that song is played.
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Well, here's the thing. I'm only a freshman, soon to be a sophmore, but I am really concerned about my scholastic career. At the moment, I have a 4.0 GPA( My average of my classes is a 98), and I am taking an advanced math class. Anyway, I would really like to graduate valedictorian my senior year. I have stiff competition-at least two people who could also be valedictorian. Does anyone have any tips for becoming valedictorian? What classes should I take next year? I would appreciate any advice, or any websites that would help me out. Thanks! (link)
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I think that your goal to be Valedictorian is a great and attainable one. It is always good to strive for excellence and "valedictorian" says your were the best academically among your peers. However, you may want to examine exactly why you want to be valedictorian and how you will deal with the idea of not becoming valedictorian.
I don't know if anyone garnished hard statistics, but take a gander at this article. "Valedictorian" does not really give you a ticket to anything past college admissions. In college, everyone is starting from square one (even with AP credit, the credit is given, not the grade that you got in the course!). What propels you successfully through life is you work ethic, planning and ambition; not intelligence. Most leaders of Fortune 500 companies as well as many self-made millionares were not valedictorians. I went to two high schools. The valedictorian of one of them opted for community college (because she got married) and settled for a two year degree. The other did a bachelor's at a local college with person #5 in our class went to an Ivy League school on a music scholarship (smart, but because of the intense music studies, didn't get straight A's) and is now in Law School at Cornell University.
I don't say this to deter you; absolutely, you can have your cake and eat it too! But you'll see, when you are 23, 24 years old, what you did in high school becomes so inconsequential. Enjoy your teens, enjoy your extracurriculars. Focus on becoming well-rounded (a much needed asset in college) more so than just beeing a machine for stamping out A's on your report card. In case you're wondering, I graduated with a 96% average and was #31 in my high school (hey it was a big school!). I consider myself one of the more successful graduates in that I currently have a nice paying job working in the insurance industry, have learn 2 foreign languages, and have traveled the country and world quite a bit!
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I am a once athiest who has now become agnostic and what I want to know is :
Why do you or why do you not believe in god?
Why should he/she/it be praised?
Why should I believe or not believe in god? (link)
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#1 - Because the world exists. For those who say that "science doesn't prove G-d" I (and several scientist including Dr. Gerald Schroeder) would disagree. I won't get into specifics here - if you want some, you can e-mail me.
#2 - G-d should be praised only if you mean it. There is no reason to praise something you don't believe in; in fact it's a mockery of yourself.
#3 - The reasons to believe in G-d are the same to not believe in G-d. The choice is ultimately yours; but I personally think there is a lot more to existence than being born, eating, sleeping, working, procreating, and dying. I personally think that this world is more than a self-running science experiment. Again you can "prove" that it is or you can "prove" that it isn't.
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First off, my parents and I have never been very close, I don't tell them much about my personal life so this is very new to me.
I want to tell them about my new boyfriend, however there rule is Absolutley No Dating until I'm 16. ( I figured I could still have a boyfriend, just not go like out to dinner ya know?) Anyways, the other night my dad said no boyfriends, when I tried to bring up the subject of my new boyfriend.
My question is, how to I calmly tell my parents about my new boyfriend? I Don't want them to make me break up with him because I really like him, but I hate to be lying to them. (link)
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First I would find out from them "Why" they don't want you to date until age 16. Depending on their response; you can go from there. For example, if they say, "We want you to be 16 because we don't feel that someone 15 or younger is ready for physical intimacy". Then you can say, "What if there was no intimacy", etc. If they give some wishy-washy answer such as, "Because I say so" explain to them that you are getting to the age where you are making your own decisions, but you still need their experience and advice to guide you (compliments always open people up). When you are well into the conversation, you can better judge how to disclose the fact that you have a boyfriend. It's much better than just blurting it out.
The key is not to see your parents as the enemy (it's tough, I know!). You have to realize that only 5 years ago (which is no time to someone in their 30s or 40s) you were a little girl playing with dolls and dress up. Parents have a hard time seeing teenagers apart from the little child they used to care for. They also don't think (in most cases) that teenagers think or plan about the future like they do. When adults make decisions, they often think "How will this affect my life over the next year" (or more maybe). What they don't realize is that when a teenager dates someone, usually don't intend to stay with that person for the rest of their life (although it does happen, but it's not common). They are only moving through a normal stage of developement and feeling out relationships with the opposite sex.
Hope this was helpful, good luck!
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Can you drive a 3.5 ton truck on a normal driving licence (link)
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You should be able to (ultimately it depends on the state). On my "regular" Florida license, it says "26,000 lbs/non-commercial" which is 14 tons!
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for one and a half years. He still has his exgirlfriend's engagement ring in his drawer. When I ask him what he is going to do with it he just tells me he don't know. He says, "what should I do with it?" I am sick of looking at it. She has caused so many problems for us. I just want the ring to be gone. He says he doesn't want to just give it away because it cost too much money. At this point I am ready to throw the piece of metal in the dump. What would you suggest to do with it. (link)
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He should take the ring to a jeweler. He'll only get back a fraction of what he paid though. If he wasn't so sentimental I would just suggest he hold onto it for the "next time" if you catch my drift. Hopefully his next fiancee has the same size fingers that she did!
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Well i have brown eyes..and BLAH! i hate them..they are so dark and ..to me ..ugly!
all the gorgeous girls have blue eyes and i really wish i could have blue eyes..and im definately not getting colored contacts..my brown eyes make me feel so ..ugly. i always say to myself..if you were to have blue eyes you would be so much prettier..and i like this guy..but i think he likes his ex again..and what does she have? blue eyes. and i have brown hair..so on me i think it looks so ugly! i dont want to dye my hair blonde tho haha. on some girls brown hair and brown eyes is gorgeous..just not me. what do i do..my brown eyes are making me feel so..ugly.. =[ (link)
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Get colored contacts. I'm surprised no one suggested this already?
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I am racially Jewish.
As far as my faith goes? I'm not quite sure. I was raised thinking Jesus is the true Messiah, not not worshiping him, per say. My father's side of the family has a lot of Jewish traditions woven in with Catholic ones.
I think Christians worship Jesus INSTEAD of God, and I don't think that's right.
I DO NOT want to be a Jew for Jesus. I'm sorry, I'm not praying in a highschool gym. Its not going to happen. I've prayed in both churches and synagogues, because I just say, "Hey, its the same God, right?"
But the way of worshiping Him is quite different. I have no idea who I am, where I fit, or where I should go to pray. (link)
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Just an FYI; the Jews are not a race persay. It is a faith culture where the determination of rather you are a member or not is if your mother was a Jew (according to traditional Judaism). However conversion to Judaism is possible. So Jews can be of any race, because people from all races have converted to Judaism. On the other hand, you have a lot of people with Jewish fathers who are not really Jews because they don't have Jewish mothers.
I'm sorry, I didn't really answer your question. Just thought I should let you know.
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I'm 16/f, I'll be getting my license in 3 months, I really need my own car, I have 1500 dollars saved in the bank from me working my butt off for a year. I work at coldstone creamery making 6bucks/hour, my parents won't help me buy a car because of their financial problems. My dad said theres no way in hell I can get a reliable, safe, dependable car for 1500, he said I need at least like, 4500, and im like, really discouraged. I just want to know from anyone who was in my situation, how much money should I save up to get a decent car, cause my dad wont let me get a crappy one. Or can I get a nice one for the amount I have? hmm... (link)
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I thoroughly disagree with your father. My car cost me $2500 and I've had it for 4 years, drove it from Florida to Pennsylvania 3 times (round trip) and it runs like a charm. What I will tell you is that you MUST do your research and not be hasty. It took about 6 months for me to find my car (which is a 1994 Ford Probe by the way). However some general rules are:
1) Try cars that are Japanese or have Japanese engines/drivetrains. Especially if the car is from the 90s. Newer cars, doesn't matter so much foreign and domestic are made pretty well. But the Japanese engines tend to run better with higher mileage on them.
2) Test drive with a mechanic or someone knowledgable about cars. Don't go by looks! The most unreliable cars can be made to look good with some Turtle Wax, Armor-All and air freshner. While test driving turn the radio off and listen to what's going on. Also be on the lookout for funny smells and rust/corrosion on anything under the hood.
3) Negotiate the price. It is possible to talk a $3500 car down to $2500; I've seen it done before.
4) Get AAA. (If you get the car)
5) Tag along on your parents insurance. It will save you a ton!
Good luck!
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I have a problem with a white discharge throughout the month and it has a terrible odor. It seems that I get that odor shortly after i get out of the shower. Im scared to be intimate with a man because of this. Can you please help? (link)
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The absolute best thing to do is go to a doctor as soon as possible. Quick treatment can prevent larger problems such as infection, infertility, etc.
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I lost my virginity in 2002 and it has been some time and i have been with a few people in sexual activities since but just recently i was with a guy and all he did was finger me and i bled, it wasn't just a little it was alot, at first i thought mabye i got my period while he was fingering me but after that i did not bleed anymore, do you think that is is possible that it was my hymen, or could it have been something else?
thanks
*embarassed* (link)
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If you lost your virginity before (and you've had sex more than a few times) I doubt that it was your hymen. Untimely bleeding can signal clotting or maybe an infection. The only way to be sure is to see an OB/GYN.
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Ihave been bleeding now for over a month.
I also bleed when i have sex?
I need some advice please? (link)
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Well two questions immediately come to mind: 1)How old are you? and 2) Is the bleeding accompianed by pain?
The reason for the first question is that, believe it or not, it's pretty common for women under the age of 20 to experience irregular periods. Even though you might be all finished with puberty, there are still drastic changes in your hormone levels at this time due to a variety of factors. In fact, I've even heard some stories where the women really never got to be 'regular' until after their first child was born.
On the flip side though, you could have a condition called menorrhagia which means excessive uterine bleeding. It can be caused by a variety of factors; one of the most serious being uterine tumors (not as uncommon as you think...I've known two women under the age of 25 to have been diagnosed with them). The only way to be certain is to visit a gynocologist and tell them what's going on. In the meantime, you might want to check out this link here:
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/abnormalbleeding/a/abnuterbleeding.htm
Oh, and on the sex thing...women will sometimes bleed a little after sex if their hymen hasn't fully been broken or if she wasn't lubricated well. Again, the only way to be certain is through a gynological exam.
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Is it possible to become pregnant through oral sex (female giving to male) ? I was wondering since if you ingest semen isn't it possible for it to work through your body?
Also, is it possible to become pregnant if a couple is merely kissing or say fooling around and the male ejaculates into the vaginal area? They are not naked, boxers and shorts on the male and underwear on the female.
This may seem silly but I really need to know since I am having a difficult time finding alternatives to sex since I feel I am not ready for that yet. Advice would be great! (link)
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Not that I want to encourage ANYTHING but safe sex practices...I feel this needs to be said.
It's not exactly 'easy' to get pregnant. Not as easy as people may think. It's incredible that in this day and age, many are still misinformed.
Oral sex: Nope. Sperm ingested through your mouth has no hopes of uniting with an egg in your uterus.
Ejaculation through clothing: Very, very, VERY slim chance. Even if the sperm do penetrate the cloth, sperm die after a few seconds of exposure to the air so the ejaculation would have to soak through his clothing right onto your 'wet spot' (if you were that aroused anyway) in order to stay in continuous contact with bodily fluid in order to travel all the way up to your fallopian tubes. I'm sure it could happen. But it's very unlikely (you have more chances of winning the lottery)
Ejaculation in vaginal area: Again unlikely. I think it would depend on the particular man's semen (yes, it differs from man to man). If the man's semenal fluid is thin and evaporates quickly, fertilazation is probably unlikely. However, if it is of a thicker consistency...and especially if there is 'afterplay' moving the fluid closer to or actually into the vagina then the probability goes up.
If you could talk frankly to any couple trying to conceive, you would find out that even with having unprotected sex where the man ejaculates inside the vagina there's isn't anywhere near 100% chance of pregnancy. Basically for a woman with a 28 day menstrual cycle, there are only about 72-80 hours when an egg can be fertilized. However, sperm can live inside the fallopian tubes for up to 6 days, and a woman never knows exactly when she will ovulate...therefore, the assumption is that of the 28 days, 12 are 'fertile'.
Again, I don't want to encourage unsafe practices; especially if you are young, because your body is very hormonal and unpredictable...and anything can happen at anytime. But there is no reason to be deathly afraid of pregnancy. Have a bigger fear of STDs. Find a good, caring gynocologist. And always, always, ALWAYS keep condoms handy...in your purse preferably. Even if you are on the pill. The longer you wait, the better, but sex is natural and healthy...and in the right context should not be feared.
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Why am I black? (link)
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Read anything written by Marcus Mosiah Garvey; he'll tell you why.
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Okay, I'm going on eight years of playing the clarinet, and I still have the same clarinet. I've heard that Buffet clarinets are really good, and I haven't really heard much of any other brands. Does anyone know a really good brand that's fairly inexpensive, as I'm on a limited budget? I don't want to ask the people at work (I work in a music store) because they're most likely to want a profit from it, and will tell me that anything is good. I thoroughly despise ANYTHING Yamaha, as they mass produce everything that they make and don't take as much time and care with any of it, as far as I can tell. Any suggestions?
Slan go foill,
Clarinetist (link)
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If you're looking for a wood clarinet that is not so 'pricey' check out the LeBlanc Galaxy (which is like $650) or the Buffet E-11 ($620). Personally, I like Yamaha products in that the intonation on their instruments is quite consistent. But we all have our preferences :-)
If you're looking for a plastic clarinet, many people seem to like Selmer and Vito.
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*SIGH* We found Caspian. Dead. Hit by a car, as a matter of fact. What really gets me is he was about three feet from our house... he had been trying to come home! Any ideas on how to not become even more majorly depressed? (link)
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Eat chocolate, go shopping, or kiss someone. Works for me everytime!
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how do you get a guy to like you if you are not a very pretty girl? (link)
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Be the most positive, witty, and pleasant person you can possibly be. A beautiful personality outshines everything; including a pretty face. Smiling doesn't hurt either. We all look better when we smile :-)
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Ok, so I hung out with the guy I like on Friday night. He came over my house and we watched movies and talked about life n' stuff. He stayed till 11:50 p.m. and apparently (he said so) he had a good time. I was sooo happy he came, he's really cool and fun to hang out with. I'm pretty sure he only wants to be friends right now though (although he did admit to one of his friends that he thought I was pretty). He just got out of a serious relationship and I think his EX screwed w/ his head a bit. She was really clingy and I think he's under the impression that that's a normal relationship. I want to go out with him, but I'm willing to wait until he's ready. What should I do in the meantime? He knows I like him, but should I ask him if there's even a possibility of us ever going out? I don't want to be wasting my time on something that isn't even gonna happen. But he's always nice to me: smiling at me, joking with me, having nice convos, huggin goodbye, hanging w/ me, and just being a really sweet guy. But then I'm also thinking that it's not anything important cuz i'm always the one to initiate our hang-outs outside of school. I really like him, but I'm not sure what to do next.
Any and all advice is welcome! Sorry for the length... (link)
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Don't feel like you're 'wasting' your time just because nothing has been carved in stone about the two of you as of yet. Just enjoy the times that you have together; you're young and you shouldn't be 'stressing' rather a relationship will become serious or not.
Believe it or not, time will answer all the questions you currently have. In general, men move more slowly and deliberately into relationships (in may not seem that in, in that they seem to only think about sex most of the time). Think of it this way; he won't tell you he's ready for something serious until he pretty certain it will work out. If he's not coming out with his feelings, then he probably wouldn't make a good boyfriend anyway in that he's still dealing with many issues from the past. Good luck and remember...all good things come with time.
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I find mself very confused about this problem and may not be able to listen to myself as to the true answer.
Forgive me in advance for the length of this question.
Last year I started having recurring dreams about a woman I knew 15 years ago. She was married and we had a platonic relationship that bordered on romantic. I broke it off after 2 long years due to frustration. After the series of dreams, I wrote to her. My first attempt got no response. In my second attempt, I was a bit more open with my feelings. I received a phone message from her saying that her life was busy but she would get back to me. I did some research and found out that she has been divorced for quite some time but she had been seeing someone for about a year. I have not heard from her since the phone call (many months ago). Obviously, I felt a great deal for her but I do not want to hold on to unrequited feelings. I am still wondering why she said she would get back to me? She could have easily told me to go away or ignored me altogether. My question is simply... Will she ever contact me in a more meaningful fashion?
Thanks in advance,
Joseph (link)
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I understand being attracted to someone but 'researching' her life and you're not directly involved; hmmmm...I would watch that. It sorta borders on 'stalking' if you know what I mean.
But getting back to your question, I don't think you're being fair to yourself holding out for this woman who does not seem very interested in you in the least. Perhaps she said "She would get back to you", because she didn't want to seem like a total bitch on the phone. If she hasn't by now...I would move on.
It really not as tough as it sounds. Outline the qualities in her that you found so attractive and try to notice those same qualities in the women that come into your social circles. The sooner you get started the sooner you can forget about this crush from the past!
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i hope i put this in the right category... anyhoo, here's my situation...
i know this guy (we're friends, but not close) and i THINK he 'likes' my friend, but i'm not sure. he's pretty friendly with everyone, and it may just be me being paranoid, but i think he's being kinda flirty with her. AND i think she's being that way back to him. now my friend has never been out with anyone before but i think they both 'like' each other, and i'm not sure i like what's happeneing. how do you tell if a guy really likes someone or if that's just their nature? what does everyone think? what would you do if you were in my shoes? (link)
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How come you "don't like" what's going on? If the guy is a jerk, just tell your friend and give her fair warning. It should be a pretty easy topic to breach if the two of you are close. However, if you don't like what is happening because you have a secret crush on the guy yourself, then that's something you just have to deal with personally. Make a move on him first. If you miss the boat it is neither the fault of your friend or the boy in question.
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