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Talking to parents
First off, my parents and I have never been very close, I don't tell them much about my personal life so this is very new to me.
I want to tell them about my new boyfriend, however there rule is Absolutley No Dating until I'm 16. ( I figured I could still have a boyfriend, just not go like out to dinner ya know?) Anyways, the other night my dad said no boyfriends, when I tried to bring up the subject of my new boyfriend.
My question is, how to I calmly tell my parents about my new boyfriend? I Don't want them to make me break up with him because I really like him, but I hate to be lying to them.
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First I would find out from them "Why" they don't want you to date until age 16. Depending on their response; you can go from there. For example, if they say, "We want you to be 16 because we don't feel that someone 15 or younger is ready for physical intimacy". Then you can say, "What if there was no intimacy", etc. If they give some wishy-washy answer such as, "Because I say so" explain to them that you are getting to the age where you are making your own decisions, but you still need their experience and advice to guide you (compliments always open people up). When you are well into the conversation, you can better judge how to disclose the fact that you have a boyfriend. It's much better than just blurting it out.
The key is not to see your parents as the enemy (it's tough, I know!). You have to realize that only 5 years ago (which is no time to someone in their 30s or 40s) you were a little girl playing with dolls and dress up. Parents have a hard time seeing teenagers apart from the little child they used to care for. They also don't think (in most cases) that teenagers think or plan about the future like they do. When adults make decisions, they often think "How will this affect my life over the next year" (or more maybe). What they don't realize is that when a teenager dates someone, usually don't intend to stay with that person for the rest of their life (although it does happen, but it's not common). They are only moving through a normal stage of developement and feeling out relationships with the opposite sex.
Hope this was helpful, good luck!
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hey! well my parents have had the same rule, but i have found a couple ways to bend the rule (with their permission!) first off, just calmly and casualy tell them that you have a boyfriend now. and if they know who he is, say "ya know,____?? yeah.." and they might start freaking out about how "no boys till 16" so then you need to get a little creative. a good way to do this would be by saying, well, he didnt ask me out on a DATE..and you guys just said no dating... and then propose the option of if he did ask you OUT then propose the idea of the two of you going with a group of people. this way it won't be just the two of you (this will look good to your parents i'm pretty sure) and so there will be other friends around too. <<oh and if you, ya know, wanna get alone..then hopefully the group along with you will be good enough friends to let you guys, go off somewhere for a while.>> but the group thing works for them, until your sixteen. and i know its hard but you're just gonna have to tell them about your b/f. just spit it out before you know what you're doing. seriously i thought a week about how i would tell my mom about my first b/f without her killing me. but it turns out...that she said that was ok. just say it calmly and cool and full of confidence. xoxo helpachick
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