Laura_Ashanti's advice column | Page 2

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Location:

Texas! Home Sweet Home

Occupation:

Student - Going to NYU next year! =) & cashier at a tanning salon

Age:

18

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solongsweetsummer87

Member Since:

March 31, 2005

Answers:

38

Last Update:

May 11, 2005

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Please ask me questions & send them to my inbox = http://advicenators.com/question.php?u=17023 - Im always here for you no matter what.

Hey y'all! Im Laura (my middle name is Ashanti) and I live in Texas, in a town about 20 minutes away from Houston! =) I love it so much - Texas is my home! I guess, you can say I've been through a lot. Ive grown up in a strong Christian home & had to adjust my life to that. But, although I am very, very religious, I have definitely done some stupid things in my life. When I was 8, my older sister Kira got pregnant with her long time boyfriend, but she was only 15 going on 16 and she was forced to give the baby up for adoption. I grew up in the shadow of my sister because my parents had no time to deal with me or my problems. I have never been to rich either. I grew up in my sister's hand-me-downs from cheap places we could afford clothes. I've had lots of peer pressure in my life. I have smoked cigarettes and pot, drank alcohol & cheated on a very good boyfriend. My parents never found out about this, but then again, they have a lot of other problems to deal with. Last year, my best friend Juliette died of alcohol poising - a sad way to die. Ive had many boyfriends who have come and gone, but now Im in a relationship (As of last week =) hehe Love you Mike! Enjoying my senior year before college. When I finish college, I really want to be a teacher or go off to live in a great city, Like New York or Chicago. I love to give advice and help people with any problems (except for sex - I never have had sex but I have thought about doing it alot.) So, if you need an answer or guidance or just someone to talk to, leave one in my inbox & I'll get back to you A.S.A.P (usually 2 days tops) ♥ always, Laura

advice

I've always felt that there was no need to be in a relationship at my age(14) but i was just asked out and i think i have fallen in love. but my mother tells me there is no way you can fall in love so young. do you think its possible to fall in love at such a young age? if you dont think so what do you think i should do, i dont want to dump him or anything, but i dont want to waste my time and energy
if there is no point to our relationship.

I think life (ESPECIALLY when your young) is all about taking chances and to, for once, not think of the consequences of things, but rather the enjoyment we will get out of it. I think your mother is going to protect you from getting your heart broken, but it has to happen sometime & she can't shelter you from love forever. I think that you can fall in love at any age. In fact, the purest love seems to be when your young because your so care-free. Love is not a waste of time or energy. It just sometimes fades. But, even though you may end up better off without your boyfriend, Im sure you wouldnt trade all the good times you shared w/ your Bf. I think you should keep the fire burning as long as you can! Why not? ♥ Laura

i know its stupid .. but i need help!! i have never been french kissed before and i think im ready, but i dont know how to do it! do both you and your boyfriend put your tounges in each others mouth or does one just put theirs in the others mouth? and how do you know whos tounge goes on top or bottom? I REALLY NEED HELP!!

Its not stupid at all! The first time I knew I was going to be french kissed was at a party and I wish I was more prepared but there wasnt much time I guess! I was 13 - enough said. Well, the first thing that helped me was to first, calm down. Take a deep breath and just look at it as something like math or anything you can learn and learn from your mistakes. I dont have a boyfriend right now, but when I kiss a boy, it just feels natural. You'll see when you first kiss someone - its almost like you've dont it before. Freaky, right? Okay, usually the guy makes the "first move" by leaning his face into yours. Pretty simple! Then, you just softly kiss and play around with your tongue - its really not hard as it may look or seem. Just play with it! Move it around. It doesn't really matter whos tongue goes on the top or bottom since it will switch up pretty quickly. Another thing is just have fun! Dont expect it to be perfect or extremely romantic your first time. You might laugh in the middle or y'all might bump heads! But thats ok =) ♥ Laura

Theres a girl at my school (not my friend but i talk to her) and her boyfriend recently broke up with her. She's heart broken and feels that she isn't good enough. Now she wont eat..shes refusing to eat and its scaring everyone. She is dropping pounds by the second and is always depressed. I really want to help her, but I don't know her family personally enough to tell them. Should I let her suffer? i would feel wrong not telling anyone.

I think you should tell a guidance counselor - but talk to her about it first. Obviously, if you know her well enough to know shes anorexic which is a pretty private thing, she needs your help! I would feel wrong not telling anyone, too if I was in your situation. Think of the consequences if you DONT tell anyone, but then think of how much you'll be helping her if you get her help and be there for her. You dont have to be the closest to someone to care about them enough to save them from a huge mistake. ♥ Laura

how do i have a conversation on the phone with a guy with out him getting bored every time we talk. this guy he always seems bored on the phone with me. we talk like everyday and he calls me ALOT and i call him too. i just need a good conversation we go to the same school and everything he even said i was like his best friend. but when we get on the phone i never have anything to say. what should i talk about

signed-

phone conversation help!!

Talk about anything! There must be something you guys can talk about if you go to the same school. Teachers, Dances, Parties, Vacation Plans or Friends. Or you could also start a friendly game of Truth or Dare ;) It works - Trust me. That will occupy y'all for awhile! =) Ask him things about himself & his hobbies ..what he's interested in or how his day was. ♥ Laura

well for the past couple months i have been really sad and drepressed! i dont know whats wronge with me....i like havent been feeling like doing anything but sitting around and i've been crying alot for no reason....i have also cut my self...i dont know if is drepression or what? please help!!!

Aw, well as bad as life gets, you cant cut yourself! I would suggest talking to someone about why your so upset or maybe if you dont even know why, talking will help you figure it out! Im sorry you have to go through this. I know how terrible you must be feeling. But you cant let whatever it is thats making you sad (or just your emotions going crazy for no reason) control your life. Especailly if your a teenage girl. For me, the hardest years to deal with were age 11-15. Especially the age of 13 because I started getting my period. Dont let it take over you - You have to be a fighter through this. But, you are obviously NOT alone which I hope makes you feel at least a little better? I go through it & so do many other advicenators, too. Talking is the best way to get through all of it. So, if you ever need to talk write to my inbox ♥ Laura

ok im going to a new school monday how do i make freinds? like i dont want to sit alone @ lunch or sit by the rong person. iv decided that guys are more easy to make freinds with than girl i mean some girls are really nice but you have to addmit guys are easier to make freinds with what if they think im a slut then if i try to make freinds with the guys? help!!!!

When I was a freshman in high school, I went to a brand new school in another town. So, I know exactly how you feel. Its really hard at first, but just be nice, funny and friendly. Most importantly, confident. It will be easier for people to get to know you. I think you should at least try making friends with the girls first. Because your right, judgmental people might think thats "slutty". Of course its not - but its better to try your best to stear clear of rumors or labels in any way you can! I'm sure you wont sit alone at lunch. And you might know this already, but the movie MEANGirls is totally un-realistic. That wont happen to you. I promise. Just say to a table, "Hi, Can I sit here?" They will most likely say yes. ♥ Laura

Any tips on how to be more patient? It seems like when I'm waiting something that I REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY want [lol] I cannot stop thinking about it. Any tips?

Just take a deep breath and try to take your mind off whatever your waiting for if it really bothers you. Or if you can, occupy yourself for awhile and find something to do or think about. I tend to become really impatient myself - I think everyone does once in awhile but the key is to teach yourself the discipline of being patient now so you can use the tool later in life =) ♥ Laura

my friend wanted to know if getting braces affects kissing ???

While there are many rumors and jokes about kids' braces getting stuck while they were kissing - on TV and in movies, this is not exactly true. It might be; but still is extremely rare. I know people who had braces and kissed, and their braces never got stuck and nothing else happened so I think your friend will be ok. ♥ Laura

I can never eat breakfast- one because I'm a bit lazy because I'm tired and two because I'm not a big fan of it, but I know it's unhealthy not to eat it and I know you can gain weight from not eating it because then you pig out at lunch and the rest of the day. Any suggestions [besides fruit] and please note that I'm on a tight scheduale and don't have alot of time to eat or prepare it [no cereal suggestions, please]

Breakfast bars work really well - whether their granola bars or those kind of recent cereal bars with the "milk & cereal" all in a small bar or some yogurt - you can try getting the small containers with the spoons attached or a plastic spoon! ♥ Laura

ok, well, this so called "friend-of-mine" is being rly well not herslef lately and we use to be bffaeae's until i realized that i dont need a friend like her and she was talking about me behind my back with another bff of mine but it looks like my so called friend doesnt wanna lose our friendship but i dont think i need her as a friend if shes gunna do that what should i do??!! PLEASE HELP

I have been in this situation many times before & I know how horrible it feels to know you might loose a best friend. But it never happened alot for me - I always worked it out but friends will come and go. You need to figure out why she is talking about you behind your back & whats happening here. Then try to see if you are possibly able to fix the problem to save your friendship but only if you feel this "bff" is truly worthey of that. If not, you dont have to be best friends, you can just be the type of friend that hangs out every once in awhile & of course, you talk. But you need to tell her to please stop talking behind your back! After all, it wont solve anything ♥ Laura

I'm 13 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm blonde, blue-eyed, nice, sweet, smart, 128 pounds, 5 feet 1 inch. i have no idea why absolutley no guy wants to go out with me. please help!

Hi Sweetie! Let me tell you, I never had a boyfriend until I was 15. I know it may seem like having a bf is a really important thing at the moment, but your 13! Dating gets funner when you can actually drive places. Also, its not about looks or personality even! Most of the time at 13, guys like whoever puts themselves out there! So try getting noticed and make them get the idea that you want a boyfriend! Im sure you'll find a great guy if you speak up & maybe make the first move =) ♥ Laura

i know how to put it on and evrything but how do you put in on the top og your eye and what brand works really well?

To apply eyeliner to the top eyelid, pull your eye towards your ear and put the liner on as close to the lashes as you can! Loreal is really good for eyeliner & so is Cover Girl Perfect Blend and Revlon! ♥Laura

i usually pop my pimples and now i have alot of scars on my forehead, does anyone know any products that can get rid of scars? a product that are not that expensive and that i can easily get at a store

answer quick please

Try Neosporin! It works really well to get rid of scars. You can also probably find a lot more products if you look around your local drug store. For now though, you can always use concealer to cover them up. =) ♥Laura

When considering a floral design,. i dont know if i should go with babies breath and carnations, or rhonedendrons with a touch of dandilion. This is really important, i have to impress my girlfriend. ANSWER QUICKLY!

Well Im like in love with babies breath - I dont know why. I guess theyre just simple elegance =) So, I would definitely go with the carnations & babies breath! ♥ Laura

well, my friend, who happens to be the same sex as me, keeps getting uncomforatblely close to me... well actually 2 same sex friends do this... and when i ask them to stop they constantly do this and one i think doesn't do it on purpose and she's always doing this and it bugs the heck out of me... how do i make it stop?!?!?

I think you should say to them that they're making you feel uncomfortable! It sounds to me like they're probably joking around or they dont even realize they're doing it. But say it in a nice way or else you wouldnt be trying to help them out of this habit, you would just be hurting their feelings. Let them know you need your space. Are they affectionate people? Im sure neither of the friends has a crush on you or anything like that or you would Know that they were homosexual or bisexual. Just be calm and talk it out, and give them a warning. ♥ Laura

my hair is slightyly thin but slighty thick..personaly i want it thick but i've heard that its horrible thick(not my hair..theirs)should i want thick hair..and if so then what can i do to make it thicker?(no styling or layers though it fries my hair)

Well, it sounds to me like you have "normal" hair. Thats what its called since you have partly thick hair and partly thin hair. Instead of making your hair thicker, try just giving it more volume! To do this, buy a volumizing shampoo at your local department store or see if you have any around your house. This will make your hair bigger and bouncier & it will look thicker and act thicker. You could also wash your hair & blowdry it while rolling a brush underneath your hair to make it more voluminous, also! =) ♥ Laura

Hey, I'm 13/F and I just got my period in January. I had it for 6 days. I haven't gotten it since!! It's the end of March now which means I skipped two months?? I know I'm not pregnant (I have no idea how to spell it)
Is something wrong with me???

No, hunny - there is absolutely nothing wrong with you =) During the first 1-3 years of your period, they tend to be irregular and theyre never really "On a scheduled time". This is Ok, your body is just getting used to the menstrual cycle. Since you just got your period in January, its normal for it to skip around alot especially if it was a light period (not too much blood.) And your right, your definitely not pregnant! ♥ Laura

In high school, we get to choose which language we want to take- French or Spanish. I signed up for Spanish, but I'm having second thoughts. I like French a lot more, but I want to do what's best for me. Does anyone have any pros or cons for taking a certain language, or just general advice on what I should do? Thanks!

Well, I take Spanish because it is so pretty & kind of easy to learn and its VERY useful in todays world! More and more countries are making Spanish their main language. Second languages are so good to know. Either way, you'll be able to travel to great places! I think if you really like French, take it! I know people who take it, that love it! So, do what you truly WANT! Dont do it for any paticular reason or a paticular person &hearts! Laura

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