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Ok so I'm graduating this year. My best friends and I are a group of 6. 3 guys (J,A, and S) and 3 girls (D and R) and including me. A and R are going out. I liek this guy (X) and I really want to go to Grad with him but I think he might have a date already. So we have a huge circle of friends but us 6 are the main ones and everyone else is organized into limos and tables anyway (ten in each and that is perfect because that means every one of us can get a date because A and R are going together).
Now, J and S both have dates. D doesn't have a date but she's desperate and she has a backup anyway. Any friends I know that aren't in my grade and are free (meaning they don't have a date/table/limo) are my muslim friends and they are really "proper". They wouldn't want me swearing or having a good time. They'd want me to not dance, sit all night and be a lady.
So since I can't go with X, and I can't go with any of my other guy friends, do you think it's too weird if all my friends have dates and I don't? Please don't give me any, "you should do what you wants", I just want to know if it'll look strange especially when I look back on grad, I don't want to look like a nerd.
I rate 5's. (link)
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Trust me, you will be extremely bored and probably feel like an outcast if you sit there with those girls. The problem here is, most people go to prom with dates, so if you decide to go by yourself, you might not have anyone to dance with anyway. Do you know anyone else outside of school or outside of your group you can ask? Maybe a family friend or someone you know you'd have a great time with and feel comfortable with regardless? You really do seem like a great girl by the way you're talking about your friends, I'm sure you have other potential dates beyond your tight-knit group. GOOD LUCK CHICA!
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does it have to be suave or can it be like any.. shockwave etc? Thanks
lush me x (link)
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Well, it can be any brand name you want. Suave is what I suggest, but I suggest you keep the brandname consistent if you're buying the set. That means Shockwave mousse, gel, and hairspray as well. Plus, I believe Suave is cheaper! It smells pretty too haha =)
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i want to curl my hair or something but i dont want a perm. my hairs like wavy kinda so i straighten it and the other day i tried to scrunch it but i dont know wut products to use. So how can i curl and scrunch my hair??? (link)
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Check out my advice column and see if you like how I have my hair. I do believe my hair is the same texture as yours. If you want my results, make sure your hair is soaking wet and wring out the water (DO NOT TOWEL DRY..THIS WILL MAKE IT ULTRA-FRIZZY!). Then make sure you have purchased the following products: Suave Gel, Mousse, and hairspray (I prefer the scent Aloe Vera). Flip your head over so you are upside down and put a good amount (not too much) gel in your palms and rub your palms together. Then you slide your fingers through your hair until most of the gel is applied then scrunch. Do the same thing with the mousse. Then apply the hairspray all over. Do not scrunch after this. For best results, blow dry while your head is still upside down. Then flip your head back up very quick and tah-dah! Email me and tell me how that goes for you!
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i have this friend and she's like my best friend here at this school i just moved to, and like she knows everything about me and what not. but like recently i've noticed that she's been copying me, like everything and it's really annoying. i mean she's super nice but also shy so i don't know how to tell her this. like my handwriting is my handwriting like it's your thing and i like my handwriting it's actually nice but i've noticed that she started copying the way i write like my n's and h's and t's! like it really bugs me! she also copies the way i hold my hands while walking and she's starting to say things like i do!i always say holy crap like as an expression and she says it too! Like before i came here she seemed to have friends but like when i became friends with her she seemed to be attached to me and i'm like the "leader" of the two of us! isn't she the one who's supposed to show me around and tell me stuff...not me? i made new friends and like i have a lot more in common with them then the ones before that i ate lunch with, with my bff, but when i went to eat lunch with my new friends she wanted to follow, like i didn't want to say no but i didn't want her to come, i know that may seem mean but like the two groups don't mix, but she came and she started comming everday so then everyday up to this day we eat lunch with my new friends but everyday she seems depressed when we eat lunch with them. she's very insecure it seems and it seems like no one really treated her as a real like member of her group before i came, like she even told me that i was the one she was the closest to in all of that table, but i'm like didn't she hang out with them for like five years...shouldn't she be good friends with at least one of them? in the beginning of the year i remember someone mentioning that she was copying them before i came. so how do i tell her that i need some space. or do i even tell her? i mentioned to my new friends that i wanted to hang out with them but being with my bff hasn't let me...sorry this was extremely long. (i have never been the "leader" of a group, we were always all equal and just had fun, and we mostly weren't shy between ourselves! AND i've noticed that i've started to become like her more and it's not the good things, the way i walk like she walks really fast because she's insecure/shy and seems like shes in a hurry all the time and i've started to do that too!) how would i deal with this situation? (link)
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There's an old saying, "Imitation is the best form of flattery." But I say, to hell with that, because I was once in your situation as well. I guess my little cousin really did look up to me and saw me as a role-model, but I absolutely despised the way she copied every single thing I did. It will probably be easier for you to do this than it was for me, since my situation was with a family member. Just tell your friend that you have begun to realize that she has been imitating your actions. She probably will get a little offended by this, but mention that people need to see the REAL her and that she has her own, great personality, and she shouldn't hide behind your actions. Tell her to be herself and try not to be so shy, and that she just might be "the leader of the group" if she was to act like herself for once instead of you! =)) Good luck, please email me to let me know how it goes!
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Okay does any one know how to get stains out of a white purse! I already tried soap and water and it does get some out but not all of them. The stains are like pencil/pen/dirt on the bottom from the ground and stuff! My purse is a white corderroy! Please help me Ill give 5's :o) (link)
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Clorox of course! Or even Oxiclean..that stuff is amazing. You may want to pre-soak the stains in Spray n' Wash then go for the Tide! Wow I love cleaning products.
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Let me start out by saying that my sister is a nightmare. A big fat nightmare who makes your life turn into serious Hell. She is a thirteen year old snob who gets in everyones business, demands things from my parents who take it even though they don't like it. She has been damaging my life the most by trying to beat the crap out of me in front of her friends when I was severly sick, she didn't beat me up, but she kept trying to, and it made me upset, and I cried because it my body was aching. She has tried to smart mouth me in front of her friends, when my mom tells her not to do something, when shes not around, she will do it anyways, and when I try to stop her, she get up in my face, and says, "What are you gonna do about it?" Now, when things like this happens, I call my mom, and she'll just say, "stop it" even though thats probably about the hundreth time shes done it. She also lies, very bad. My parents know, but not as much, she tries spying on my phone conversations with my boyfriend, she is also known to read my other sisters diary to her friends on the phone, and laugh about it with them. She also told all of her friends something SO personal, I am not going to say, but it was so personal about my older sister. My parents do nothing about this. No matter how many times I try to ask them nicely, or I just slam it in their faces, they go talk to her, and she plays the innocent one. I told my mom tonight that she has made my life a living Hell, and all she said was, "well, she said the same thing about you" That made me so angry, because she looked at me like she believed her over me or she didn't know who to believe, HELLO! I am the innocent one here, everyone always says mean things about her, so they know shes the one whose rude! She is also known to hurt me in front of people, she'll grab underwear with blood in it, and will announce to everyone that its mine! When its really hers! I have dealt with this for a long time, and today, I just couldn't take it, I screamed in my room so loud, and tore all of the posters off of my wall, and scratched my face. I have gone crazy! When I heard somebody pick up the phone while me and my boyfriend were talking, I ran to my mom and yelled, "GET HER OFF THE PHONE NOW I HATE HER SO MUCH SOMEBODY JUST KILL HER!" And then, I went rambling on to my boyfriend how much I just want to kill her, and now I keep day dreaming about ways that I can kill her. I also kept saying, "shes a slut, a whore, a b*tch, a little sh*t, and an a*shole." I know shes a slut, but I will not get into detail about that. But I am asking somebody to please not tell me I need anger management, I know that this behavior is not abnormal, what person would not go crazy after dealing with a lying sister and parents who won't do anything about it? My behavior is scaring me, I've never hated somebody this much, I usually just like everybody, but everytime I think about wanting to kill her and it makes me feel good I get scared! I can't really talk to my parents, I've screamed it in their ears, and I've told them nicely, they don't listen to me.
Also, do not even think about having me talk to my sister, she is greedy, and selfish, all she cares about is herself, seriously, if its not her way, theres no way, shes a spoiled brat. So I guess what I'm asking is does anybody think I might be taking this too far? I know that I'm not, but does anyone think different? I know that this shouldn't get to me, but I have to live with her! I need ways to take my anger and sadness out, because all of my posters are ripped off of my wall. Also, my dad is getting me a therapist, so I can at least have somebody to talk to, but the whole time I'm probably going to ramble on about how much I hate her and wish she was dead, I have truly never felt this deeply of hate. My silly boyfriend wants me to fight her, but I'm not going to. But I hate her enough to. So, could anyone say something about this, like advice because I am in a huge puddle of misery. I just wish somebody would just think, "Maybe Sarah [me] has feelings too" when she makes fun of me, I wish she'd think, "Maybe since Sarah has depression, I shouldn't call her names because she feel pain too" And it makes me cry at night wondering how I'll ever get out of this Hell hole, somebody please give me comfort or anything that could help me. I've told my parents about my misery, so don't think that I havn't told anyone about this. I will rate. (link)
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She sounds like a total and complete bitch!! Its GREAT that you're going to go see a therapist, but don't threaten to kill her or they might think you're kinda psycho. I don't personally think the therapist will do much, but it's still a GREAT way to get your feelings out. I'm giving you this great piece of advice: If your sister lays a finger on you, don't let her get away with it. Your boyfriend is right when he says to fight back, don't just let her hit you and let it go, it'll only make her seem more powerful than you and she'll want to do it more. Stick up for yourself girl! Remember who the OLDER sibling is. As for your parents, tell them enough is enough and that you UNDERSTAND how THEY feel too. They're going through basically the same thing you are by dealing with your sister as well.
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april fools is coming up!!!yeah!!!i want a really good trick to play on my friends, please don't suggest anything that will hurt them though.thanks! (link)
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Im doing a few things this year:
1) Me and my boyfriend are telling his mom that he got me pregnant! (dont worry...im a virgin, but its a joke). You can tell your friends that and freak them out a little. Think of things to follow it up with, add in that you are having an abortion. Be creative! LOL =)
2) I'm telling my best friend that my parents are making me go to a military camp and I have to leave the school I'm currently in now, and won't have any contact with her. SHE'S GONNA FREAK!!
3) I'm answering any phone calls to my house "911..Whats your emergency??"
4) I'm having my mom call any other friend other than my best friend and telling them that I'm in the emergency room in critical condition due to an allergic reaction to chicken liver.
I think you'll be better off saying things about yourself to get them worried a little bit, instead of hurting them.
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How do you know when you love someone? (link)
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I think you know you love someone when they're the reason you wake up in the morning and the reason you sleep at night...the reason you keep on living. You'll want to be with that person all the time and spend as much time as possible. They can poke fun at you without you getting mad or offended, because you'll know if they love you back, they're only joking with you. You can make a complete and total fool of yourself and it wouldn't matter because you trust them. You can trust them with your innermost secrets and you know they won't judge you. You know you love someone when you're there for them when they need you most, and they're there when you need them most. It's a friendship, a bond. Through thick and through thin, you're there for each other and care for each other. =) Thats what I think! ♥
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What do you do when you have two beautiful people who have a love child .. a child.. it.. thing thats hideous? (link)
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YOU THROW THE DAMN THING AWAY!! Haven't you heard of the mothers that suffocate their babies or flush them down the toilets? Beautiful people aren't meant to have ugly.. babies... things... hideous things. Throw your baby away. In the garbage. THIS INSTANT. Hide the body.
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okay, so i really love that punky makeup look, sooooo i was wondering where i could get some good products. especially eyeshadow. i've seen some girls with hot pink eyeshadow and it looks awsome but every single time i've gotten a pink it just ends up looking too pastel or fuchia-ish! any good products or ideas? (link)
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I highly recommend you go to www.urbandecay.com. They have GREAT makeup that is VIBRANT and will be most effective in achieving your punkish look!
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this girl that says im her best friend always talks about my other friends behind their back, so i tell them because i dont think its right for her to do that. The other day she was talking about one of my friends named danielle, and so i told danielle this weekend and dnaielle said that my suppose to best friend called me a spoiled brat and a bitch and said that she doesnt hang out wtih me that much because i act stuck up .. but she is always calling me. I talked to the best friend and she siad she didnt say that, but how do i know because she always talks about everyone else to me. What should i do? i rate high!! (link)
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If she's talking to you about other people behind their backs...how do you know she isn't talking to other people behind YOUR BACK as well? It seems to me like she is. In this case, your friend Danielle is probably correct. What should you do? DUMP HER! You are too good for all of her negativity.
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Ok i am 14 and me and my bf have been having sex i aint got my period yet so its good but he wanted to f me in the back door(butt) i wanna let him because it sounds like it would b fun but i dont wanna acidently let a lil poo on his penis id feeel wierd sooo do u think i should use the bath room b4 we do it...pllz answer ty
luv ya
*aimee* (link)
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If you're nervous and not so sure of it, why do it at all? Also, if it is not done right, you can get seriously hurt. I believe there are only about 3 layers of tissue there, while in your vagina there are about 17-20 layers of tissue(not sure of of the exact number..but you can understand the difference between the tissue layers). For me personally, I consider it an "exit only". You seem a bit skeptical about it, once you are more comfortable and sure of it, then you might want to go ahead without having to ask people questions. =)
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Well over the weekend I'm stuck with a huge project over the weekend and...its a group project and two of the guys in the group goof off all the time and are failing the class and the other guy is a cute,nice,funny guy I flirt and joke around with sometimes. He's into the project but he's not into getting everything together. I've got this amazingly funny and fun idea for the project, and the only way I'm gonna get it done is if I do it all by myself. So my question is, do people hate it if you do all the work? Does doing all the work piss people off? Will the guy not like me anymore if I do it by myself?
Thanks so much for helping! :-) (link)
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In all honesty, it doesn't seem like the two guys who are failing seem to care WHAT you do. On the other hand, the other guy who is into the project may want to work with you. Don't leave him completely out of it, HELP HIM get it together (who knows...it may even attract him to you more if he sees you taking action). If you two work on the project together and get it done, be sure to let your teacher know that the other two guys in the group contributed NOTHING and that you and the other guy were stuck doing all the work. I'm sure your teacher will understand!
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Dear Advicenators,
At my workplace, several colleagues and I have an awkward situation that has developed between us and our boss. It has gotten so bad recently that it has begun to affect the quality of our work and how we interact with her.
On several occasions in the winter months, she has come into the office directly from the outdoors and started an informal meeting, many times without even putting down her coat or bag. The problem is that there is typically a great deal of condensation and mucus that has decended onto her upper lip and into her mouth. She doesn't notice it, but it makes it impossible for her employees to listen to her.
In addition, she has terrible halitosis. It is so bad that when her employees are talking with her, they can not concentrate on what she saying. As a result, they make mistakes in the areas that were covered in their conversations.
What can be done? Any kind of intervention might result in us getting fired.
What do you suggest?
Sincerely,
Grossed out in Gotham (link)
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I say, in pure seriousness, if there aren't any security cameras around...you should slip in some Listerine packets in or around or even on top of her desk! If you can't do that, just step back a little when she's talking so you can concentrate more on what she's saying than her bad breath. I do not suggest you telling her that she's nasty because that can cause even more problems. If worst comes to worst, just hold your breath!
As for the mucus, just politely offer her a tissue. =)
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I volunteer a lot for a non-profit organization, and everyone in the group puts in TONS of hours. There's this one lady though who drives us all nuts, because she always has these ideas about stuff "we" should be doing, but she never wants to put a real proposal together for it or take on leadership of the project herself. We would all totally support her if she took on a project, but none of us have the time or initiative to make it happen just because she thinks it's a good idea. Plus, I think that if *she* thinks it's important for us to have a fundraising dinner, *SHE* should plan it!
So I have two questions: first, what's her problem?! second, how do we get the point across that if she wants something done, she's gonna have to do it herself? (link)
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I really don't understand what her problem is, but if you want to let her know she has to do it herself, you should just let her know in a very polite way. The next time she suggests something, just say: "That's a great idea! I'm sure a lot of us would like to help after it is planned." (This would probably get her to understand that you can't do something if it's not planned already.) Or you can offer to help her even, just hand her a piece of paper and tell her that you'd like to help, but she should contribute to the planning because it is HER idea after all. I guess the only way to get your message out loud and clear is to just tell her. Hope I've helped! =)
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ok well theres this kid who confessed his love for me and well i dont feel the same and so i figured its better to tell him the truth and not lead him on but he dosent seem to get the hint he follows me around hes like my fucking stolker and i dont want to be his close friend b/c i cant trust him and well i see how he is and i dont kno how to make it clearer w/out hurting him normally i wouldnt care but since i ko how it feels to love somebody and not be loved in return so help pleaze he dosnt get the freaking clue (link)
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You seem like you're doing everything right, but maybe in a way..it seems as if you are still leading him on? If you were straightforward and upfront and honest with him, I still don't see why he still follows you around. I suggest you write him a note clearly stating your feelings toward his behavior towards you, just remember to write in it that you're not interested and that you'd appreciate if he was to leave you alone. Make sure you use his name in it several times to assure that it is personal. If he really is a stalker and won't leave you alone, you may want to go to a responsible person, or even the authorities to get him as far as possible from you! =)
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15/F
While growing up I never had the "two parent home" that most have and I am fine with that. My mother has been great, The only problem was the show of love always bothered me. IE: kissing, hugging, holding hands. I never felt comfortable around that stuff because I never saw it and I didn't know how to act when someone did. Its not that I didn't get effection or anything but I didn't see kissing or love toward another man with my mom so when others did it I thought it was wrong. (just my young childish logic) Fast forward to now, I'm 15 and i guess I have a BF. Well, he likes me. We've kissed/madeout and held hands. We have a date saturday and I'm acually not that nervous for the most part. Its just that I don't know how to tell him my feelings, He said "I love you", I said "I love you" but that just doesn't seem to cut if for me. I don't want to seem clingy and I really don't feel comfortable saying i love you since everyone in my family is seriously screwed with love. I like Ryan and I don't want to get hurt by him or hurt him. (I'm afraid I might make a rash decision and dump him)
So exactly how do I get myself to calm down and just enjoy the fact that he likes me? (link)
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If he likes you, thats great! You should figure out if you like him too. People rush into saying "I love you" nowadays. My thing is...if you don't mean it or don't think you mean it, you probably shouldn't even say it to begin with. Don't dump him just yet, just get to know him. This is a great opportunity for you to become more comfortable around affection. You should be REAL and TRUE to him..tell him what you've told me! This way, you won't come off as clingy and he might just even UNDERSTAND you better! It seems that you are uncomfortable around him since you are unable to get your feelings out to him, but really, all it takes is a little communication. Just start talking and it'll all come out and he'll understand how you feel. If he loves you like he says he does, trust me, he WILL understand. =)
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Hi, what I will address won't mainly be asking for advice, but for the input of the columnists on advicenators on a very controversial issue of morals against faith in the latter of sex.
I know that among some religions that premarital sex is sinful and highly prohibited without any exceptions, but what are your opinions?
I myself am a Catholic-Christan, and believed in the "sex until marriage" thing when I was together with my boyfriend. But as we got to know each other over the years, we got into intellectual conversations about this topic and if it's argument is valid and reasonable. I'm not saying that our relationship prompted a shift in mindset on this issue, but knowing him and being with him for so many years along with witnessing other married couples made me think about this a little more thoroughly.
I started to think about it as I grew older, and I began to feel differently. The divorce rate in the U.S. is at an amazingly high rate, and more couples are breaking it off even after saving the sex until marriage "policy". On some occasions I even think that these breakoffs are due to the quality of the sex. If the sex isn't good, usually lovers leave and commit infidelity. Unless the couple is really committed to one another, they will keep trying to make the sex work out.
The way I think about this scenario now is that I believe that it is acceptable to have sex before marriage, under certain circumstances. Because a couple must establish that intellectual intimate bond with commitment, devotion, loyalty, etc. Even then does that take years to accomplish, and the time spent shows respect to each other that both partners are willing to stick it out this long and wait for each other to take action that is of great importance. Also after all that is done, the relationship goes to the next level in the stage of sex. Having sex before marriage lets the couple know how how much they really love each other and how much they are willing to commit to each other. In a sense it tests us on how much we value sex and what factor it plays in our life. And if we don't pass the test in avoiding adultery, it was never meant to be with that person, so how can a couple get married if sex and passion got the best of them to steer them toward someone else?
To conclude, although you could say I'm going against my religion, it doesn't mean that I don't have faith. A lot of the "rules" that we have to abide by sometimes do seem unreasonable, in order to understand love and all the goodness that it brings, I really don't think marriage is enough to keep someone faithful.
In no ways am I encouraging premarital sex, especially on advicenators with teeny-boppers running around having sex with their semi-erect penises, but what I am saying is that before sex comes commitment, loyalty, devotion, understanding, civility, and vice versa. But I do believe that before marriage comes sex. Why because marriage is the highest level that a couple can go through to show their love toward one another for all of eternity, and how can you reach the highest level without sharing everything of yourself to your soulmate, including your most prized possession?
I apologize if I come off a little bias, but that isn't my intention at all. I'm not promoting anything, nor am I objectifying "sex before marriage." Those couples who are able to succeed through this lifestyle, I admire you, I really do. Especially in a society that is centered around sex nowadays. But I would like to know the opinions of others to better understand this controversial subject.
Thanks and sorry for the long read! I hope to hear a lot of responses! (link)
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Although you already seem to have made your decision..I would like to point out that "Do not commit adultery" is one of the Ten Commandments. I think if you are truly a devout Christian, you would abide by those as much as you possibly can, under any circumstances. A man and a woman are not united until they become one by marriage. Anything can happen in this short time between your first time with this man up until your marriage..there are many things that could happen really. He could cheat on you, leave you if you became pregnant, or one of you could die and not be able to become married. If you're the one who passes away (God forbid)..since you are judged by your sins, you would probably end up in the fiery evil of hell. Either way, it is a sin. If you have done it already, you may consider going to your Father of Confession and confessing and not doing it again until you really ARE married. I still respect your decision and I hope either way, you'll do the right thing =)
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