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i have this friend and she's like my best friend here at this school i just moved to, and like she knows everything about me and what not. but like recently i've noticed that she's been copying me, like everything and it's really annoying. i mean she's super nice but also shy so i don't know how to tell her this. like my handwriting is my handwriting like it's your thing and i like my handwriting it's actually nice but i've noticed that she started copying the way i write like my n's and h's and t's! like it really bugs me! she also copies the way i hold my hands while walking and she's starting to say things like i do!i always say holy crap like as an expression and she says it too! Like before i came here she seemed to have friends but like when i became friends with her she seemed to be attached to me and i'm like the "leader" of the two of us! isn't she the one who's supposed to show me around and tell me stuff...not me? i made new friends and like i have a lot more in common with them then the ones before that i ate lunch with, with my bff, but when i went to eat lunch with my new friends she wanted to follow, like i didn't want to say no but i didn't want her to come, i know that may seem mean but like the two groups don't mix, but she came and she started comming everday so then everyday up to this day we eat lunch with my new friends but everyday she seems depressed when we eat lunch with them. she's very insecure it seems and it seems like no one really treated her as a real like member of her group before i came, like she even told me that i was the one she was the closest to in all of that table, but i'm like didn't she hang out with them for like five years...shouldn't she be good friends with at least one of them? in the beginning of the year i remember someone mentioning that she was copying them before i came. so how do i tell her that i need some space. or do i even tell her? i mentioned to my new friends that i wanted to hang out with them but being with my bff hasn't let me...sorry this was extremely long. (i have never been the "leader" of a group, we were always all equal and just had fun, and we mostly weren't shy between ourselves! AND i've noticed that i've started to become like her more and it's not the good things, the way i walk like she walks really fast because she's insecure/shy and seems like shes in a hurry all the time and i've started to do that too!) how would i deal with this situation?
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I think youve answered your own question in this. You say that you never had a leader of a group and that you were all equal - thats great! Shes oviously used to the stupid school hierarchy thing,being the cloest one to her, i thin you an subtly drop hints every now and then that you thin she is just as good as everyone else (even if you dont, itll solve her jealously/copying prolem) and if she ever calls you anything like a leader, just joke and say shes as much as a leader as you are - or something along those lines! I dont really thin you needed help with this, youve pretty much got school groups sussed! Wow!
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Well, I hope she doesn't say the word <b>"like"</b> as much as you do. Anyways. It seems as if your friend is very insecure about herself, and she finds her identity through you. Your presence gives her confidence and makes her feel good about herself. Even though it is annoying, you should feel good that she values you and your opinion so much. Since this is bothering you so much, why don't you try to introduce her to other people. Get her to socialize outside of your circle, and with people who share common interest with her. If that fails, then sit her down and talk to her face-to-face. Have a heart-to-heart with her. Let her know that you value her friendship a lot, but that lately you have felt that maybe the two of you are actually becoming one. Let her know that you have noticed that she is transforming into you by copying some of your habits, and you want to know if she has noticed this. Tell her that you want to remain friends with her, but that sometimes you need your own space to interact with your other friends. Let her know that she is welcome to join you sometimes, but not all of the time. Compliment her on her good aspects, and let her know that she is a good friend to you. It sounds as if her self-esteem is very low, and she is trying to gain that through you. If you talk to her openly and honestly, then she should be able to understand where you are coming from and respect you and your wishes. Good luck.
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Have her over and look at magazines. Try doing a makeover on her and all that kind of thing.She just seems to need someone to follow. Since she has elected you to be the leader...show her what to do. Try to see it as a positive. She just needs some guidence so try to show her how to have her own style.During all this explain to her about your needing space now and then and how she really shouldn't copy every single thing others do. Just say it nicely in conversation so her feelings don't get hurt.
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Tell her how you feel, and if you see her sadden, continue with what you were going to say. Because if you stop, it'll never end! YESH, it is SUPER cool to have a minion, but if it bugs you, I know how you feel. I had a friend for 2 years, and I had to deal with 2 years of her copying my handwriting (coincedence, your friend is just like mine was), and like, she copied my work, she tried to act random like i do...and it bugged me SO much!!! Are you gonna wait until 2 years pass? End it now. If she truly bugs you, don't hesitate, or you'll regret it later...Good luck hun, hope everything works out!!!
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I have a friend that is exactly like this. She used to try to hang around with me all the time, she called me every night and, like your friend, copied me. I got so fed up with her but I felt embarrassed and scared to tell her how I was feeling. I ended up getting up the courage to tell her that I really appreciate her but that she needs to be her own person, make her own memories, and stop doing everything like me. Good luck.
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try going up to her and tell her that it is getting on your nerves for her to be copying you if she says shes not then give her some examples. dont be to mean or to nice about it either
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you need to talk to her, maybe she copys you because she looks up to you, dont get mad.. just take it as a compliment
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There's an old saying, "Imitation is the best form of flattery." But I say, to hell with that, because I was once in your situation as well. I guess my little cousin really did look up to me and saw me as a role-model, but I absolutely despised the way she copied every single thing I did. It will probably be easier for you to do this than it was for me, since my situation was with a family member. Just tell your friend that you have begun to realize that she has been imitating your actions. She probably will get a little offended by this, but mention that people need to see the REAL her and that she has her own, great personality, and she shouldn't hide behind your actions. Tell her to be herself and try not to be so shy, and that she just might be "the leader of the group" if she was to act like herself for once instead of you! =)) Good luck, please email me to let me know how it goes!
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