about



Please ask me questions & send them to my inbox = http://advicenators.com/question.php?u=17023 - Im always here for you no matter what.




Hey y'all! Im Laura (my middle name is Ashanti) and I live in Texas, in a town about 20 minutes away from Houston! =) I love it so much - Texas is my home! I guess, you can say I've been through a lot. Ive grown up in a strong Christian home & had to adjust my life to that. But, although I am very, very religious, I have definitely done some stupid things in my life. When I was 8, my older sister Kira got pregnant with her long time boyfriend, but she was only 15 going on 16 and she was forced to give the baby up for adoption. I grew up in the shadow of my sister because my parents had no time to deal with me or my problems. I have never been to rich either. I grew up in my sister's hand-me-downs from cheap places we could afford clothes. I've had lots of peer pressure in my life. I have smoked cigarettes and pot, drank alcohol & cheated on a very good boyfriend. My parents never found out about this, but then again, they have a lot of other problems to deal with. Last year, my best friend Juliette died of alcohol poising - a sad way to die. Ive had many boyfriends who have come and gone, but now Im in a relationship (As of last week =) hehe Love you Mike! Enjoying my senior year before college. When I finish college, I really want to be a teacher or go off to live in a great city, Like New York or Chicago. I love to give advice and help people with any problems (except for sex - I never have had sex but I have thought about doing it alot.) So, if you need an answer or guidance or just someone to talk to, leave one in my inbox & I'll get back to you A.S.A.P (usually 2 days tops) ♥ always, Laura

advice

ok this is kinda weird to be asking but i had to know...If your going to tease about it dont write me... Ok here it goes
every time i get fingerd i tend to cum alot adn i was just woundering if it was normal to cum so much. and if it is normal is there a way to slow it down a little bit? Please, give me any advice.

Youre actually lucky even if you dont believe me. Your body is producing so much cum for a reason. Cum helps fingers go into your vagina more smoothly so it doesnt hurt. Girls that dont cum as much, well it hurts hard for them. So, yeah, you should be happy the way it is because theres no way to change it! Dont worry, its totally normal and every girl & guy cums so its no big deal! Trust me, the other person shouldnt care and if they do, maybe their not mature enough to be doing it! ♥ Laura

[view]

My mom is really mad at me because I yelled and talked back to her. She stormed out of my room this morning while knocking my things down. I just told her that I needed time to get ready to go and I needed her to get out. She then left the house with my brother. Now she is back and she still won't talk to me. I am very hungry and I don't know what to do. There's no food in my house. We were going to go to taco bell but now she's very mad. I am so hungry! Please help.

Well, maybe your mom is just having a bad day. I think you should first try to talk things out with her - ask her why shes mad & if theres anything you did or can do to fix it. If that doesnt work and your not getting anywhere with her, there must be something in your house to eat! As gross as it may be, its still food. Some
"food" thats always in my kitchen is crutons & Saltine crackers. Im sure theres at least a little something. Ask her if you can please go to Taco Bell or go to the supermarket to get some food because you are hungry (Remember to be super sweet, though!) You could also if you have a few bucks & if there is a local grocery store/or a little general store you can get food from there. No matter how mad she is, she cant make you starve forever. ♥ Laura

[view]

my friends keep making fun of me,but i know there are just joking but it makes me feel bad, can anyone help

Dont worry sweetie, this happens to everyone - especially in middle school. Girls especially think its funny to comment or something on an outfit or something you said. They want to catch every mistake youve made/or are making so that they can just point it out. Then say "Im kidding!" Unfortunately, EVEN if they ARE just really funny & like to tease people for a laugh from you and dont really mena any harm, its still not necassery for them to do it JUST to you and so often. If that happens, its harrassment. But, not the kind you would tell a counselor/principal about. Just roll your eyes as if you think its immature because it is. It doesnt happen as much in high school, let me tell you that. Talk to them, tell them it hurts your feelings when they do that. If they dont stop, then maybe you should ignore them for a little while until they get the point. But for now, just ignore it and maybe laugh it off say wow thats a good one or something sarcastic. ♥

[view]

Me and my boyfriend kissed for the first time a while back, and now he keeps wanting to do it every day. I'm afraid if we keep kissing every day, we'll soon grow bored of it and move of to sex. I don't want to take things too fast. So what should I do?

You have to be honest with him - tell him your in it for love not just a physical relationship. Just tell him its going too fast, and you would like to maybe talk first before you start kissing again. Get to know eachother and make sure he knows it will be more fun if you wait for perfect moments to kiss! ;] My boyfriend loved it when I told him that - and he got it, too. I mean, it keeps the suspense going, you know? And passion - and thats what keeps relationships going for so long. Its really, really important to savor every moment of a relationship! A kiss is not to be casual! So, try giving him a hug & holding hands, then when you think its right, kiss him. The moment will be very special & romantic ♥ Laura

[view]

Ok,i have this friend,we'll call her ...Jenna. Well Jenna and i are "friends" but the problem is when ever i become friends with another person,she jumps all over them and they like her better. She dosent let me have one friend to myself and i get sort of mad by that. What should i do?

Definitely tell her - just say I need some space right now. And then you should talk to her about having lots of friends. Make sure she knows you are not trying to yell at her and you want to be her friend still, but you dont belong to her. You have to make new friends and branch out and you cant just give her 100% attention. Promise to give her SOME attention, though - have you been accidnetly/purposely avoiding her lately? If so shes noticed and she may just be defending you as her friend - trying to say to other girls "This is my friend so back off!" Maybe she feels like when you hang out with other girls, you dont seem to like her. Try to make all your friends equal as possible with you, so Jenna doesnt get so jealous. ♥ Laura

[view]

This morning, I woke up and I noticed there was a tiny white dot/ball on my upper eyelid. It kind of hurts when I move my eye. Does anyone know what it is and how it got there? How do I get rid of it?

Its probably a sty which is caused by bacteria in the eye. I would go to your doctor as soon as you can so he/she can prescribe something to help it so it doesnt get worse. Dont worry, though, dirt (bacteria) can be passed on through anything, even air so you didnt do anything wrong. Medicine should clear it up in a few days. ♥ Laura

[view]

lets call the kids jack and jill.

so ive been babysitting jack and jill every other weekend. jill is really good and sweet but jack is not. now there mom wants me to watch them everyday in the summer. and i dont want to! im only 14 i have a life! but their mom is really pushy and in your face.

what should i do?

I have dealt with mothers like that alot in my baby-sitting career. It doesnt matter if shes older, you need to stand up for yourself. No one says you HAVE to babysit this woman's kids. So, tell her "I actually have plans in the summer and Im a little bit too busy to baby-sit the kids everyday but I really hope you understand." Be polite & patient - she may not be all that happy at first, especially since you've been a reliable baby-sitter and she has to find a new one. If you dont want to lie about it or if you think she'll bother you too much with questions & things, tell her very gently that you dont think you, Jack, and Jill get along the best and maybe your just not experienced enough yet to deal with them. If she calls you/yells/or anything else, get your Mom or Dad to talk to her and assure her of everything you said. ♥ Laura

[view]

All my friends are very touchy-feely sort of people, we always hug each other loads and don't mind being close, both guys and girls. I really like this guy, but due to some unfortunate and complicated circumstances he is ignoring me (I haven't done anything wrong).
But the thing is, he is still the same with all his other friends, and I get very very jealous whenever I see him hugging his female friends, or walking with them in a two.
How can I stop myself being jealous? I don't have a claim over this guy, and I feel so upset whenever I see him like this now because I really do like him.
(It wasn't so long ago - a few weeks - that he liked me. But I didn't like him like that then, and now that I do...I haven't told him this yet but anyway...).
The jealousy is killing me!

I would either a) forget about him for awhile or b) tell him your feelings for him. The problem I think here is that he doesn't know you like him! Plus, boys can be kind of clueless at the whole `dropping hints` thing, too. Being jealous is not fair though, to him or yourself! Dont put yourself through that hun, you may be over-analyzing the whole hug situation. Isn't it just a friendly hug when he hugs them? If it is, then it was probably just a friendly hug when he hugged you. Tell him you like him or forget about him, if you think he wont reacct okay or things will be awkward after with you guys. Just say to him, I like you, and then see how he feels. ♥ Laura

[view]

Lately i have been sad all the time im never happy anymore im always mad and sreaming or sad aand crying.. why im i like this all of a sudden..

This happens to everyone - even more-so if you are a girl. Whatever gender you are, your body is changing and its completely normal to feel dperessed, mad, empty, alone, etc for no readon. So, dont worry. But, then figure out why your emotions are so discombobulated all the time - friends? family? school work? Whatever it is - get people in your life to help you work it out so you can be happier! Or maybe, start talking to a therapist or just a simple guidance counselor at your school. Both will help you alot to realize the positive parts of life. Or if you feel its REALLY (Seriously!) an option, you could ask your Doctor about getting an anti-depressent - but for now try the other options and try to relax and take your days one step at a time. ♥ Laura

[view]

My friend is sleeping over tonight. What are some fun things to do? P.S. We cant go out OR outside - :)

Makeovers, movie marathons!, eat, take pictures, talk, do nails, do eachothers nails, prank phone calls, talk online, answer questions or ask them on advicenators, shop online, draw, sing, act, dance, make a movie, talk on the phone w/ boys you like, make a myspace.com/ or your own webpage! Have fun girls =) ♥ Laura

[view]

Is Ellen Degenirus a lesbian? I dont know! Help!

Yes, and shes a great role model for all the lesbians & gays out there who are nervous about coming out. She is hilarious and a generous person, too. ♥ Laura

[view]

I'm going to be applying for a job soon, and on my resume..do I put on there that I do a lot of community service hours or does that not matter?

Yes! Do not forget the hours of community service you have done - even if you dont think its important. It will look very professional to the people reading your resume and will show them just how much time you did the community hours, which is more important than what you did. You will also look very well-rounded and friendly - which is usually what they look for. ♥ Laura

[view]

Hey, I am 16 and a female. I really want to get a tan (since I live in FL). I am afraid about skin cancer and aging skin. Is it safe to tan out for about 10 min at a time? I have very fair skin and I don't want to mess up my skin. Has anyone ever tried natural glow by jergens, does it work?

Well, if you dont want to go to a tanning bed, Im sure you'll be okay for more than 10 minutes (if you're comfortable doing that) out in the sun. For your skin to get messed up, I guess meaning burnt, or even tan, it would take much longer than 10 minutes so no worries. Just make sure you apply lots of sunscreen a few minutes before you go outside so your skin can soak up the sun screen and work properly! Since you have fair skin + if you burn easily, I would go for a 15 at the minimum SPF. ♥ always Laura

[view]

thers this girl I like iv known her for years how would I tell her I like her

Say, "I know were friends, but I think we should take it a step further than "just friends." Tell her you really like her and think that you and her would be a good couple for a relationship for reasons [and list some]. Do you like the same things? That could be one. Or maybe you get along really well with eachother or have been flirting alot lately. Be Prepared. Friendships dont always turn into long lasting healthy relationships. But, then again, sometimes they do. Let her know you DONT want to ruin your friendship if anything happened which it will. That way she cant use that as an excuse. Just let her know how you feel. If she knows you well enough, she'll know you are really genuine when you say the words to her. ♥

[view]

Hi, well my names Jen and im 15 and a freshman. In gym class i noticed this boy Matt and he went to my middle school but we never actually talked. But today in gym he said "Hey Jen!" and i dont know i was kind of happy about it. I saw him alot that day and i tried to say hi and smile alot but i know he is extremely shy and everything but he kind of smiled but looked down saying hi. Hes sort of geeky, but i dont think i really care about that but im not sure what to do? Thank you so muchhhh

You seem pretty confused here - but you shouldnt be. This sounds like a good guy, who really likes you! And, let me tell you that "the kind of geeky shy guys" are the best. Ive had a few of those boyfriends in my lifetime and they were the ones that I remember the most about. But, I admit it is hard to get past that shyness into their "charm." It takes time for both of you to open up even if your not shy. Try to focus on exactly how you felt around Matt - when he said Hi to you, looked at you, etc. Did you feel [well its very hard to explain but Im sure youve felt it before!] a spark? A connection between you both? If you did, try talking to him more & approaching him next time. You said you were happy when he said it, so do you like him or is it just a playful friendship? Ask all of these questions to yourself, then if theyre mostly one than figure out a choice! Try asking him to a movie or somewhere when you can talk/see him outside of school. That could open things up alot. ♥

[view]

i am 13 122pounds and five foot three is that overweight? also can someone tell me the average range of my weight? i am also a boy.

No, you are perfect just the way you are - in fact you could gain a few pounds! And your right muscle does weigh more than fat, so if you have a lot of muscle in your body, thats adding lots of weight to your body. If you want to know more about finding your BMI (Body Mass Index) go to http://am-i-fat.com/ and click on the link - Am I fat? Then fill out the form in the middle of the page. ♥ Laura
edit: Also http://www.babybag.com/articles/htwt_av.htm will help alot!

[view]

what do i do if people are writing bad things about me on somebody elses column??

Well, it depends on what you mean - do you know them and are hurt by this? You want them to get in trouble for it? or both? To start off, I would seriously file an abuse report right away - you do this by filling out the form at http://www.advicenators.com/abuse.php. Then you should talk to this person if you know them personally and they go to your school or you are able to talk to them somehow face to face about writing bad things about you and not only that but on someone ELSES column. ♥

[view]

I like this guy.. we hardly ever talk but I still like him.. what to do?

Talk more! Get to know him and let him get to know you, that should break the ice a little bit. Its hard when you like someone, but then again you dont know too much about him, too. Maybe ask him if he has Instant Messenger or an E-mail address or if you really want to ask him for his phone number. He might be really shy - Lots of guys are - and needs YOU to make the first move. So, make it simple, like a question - whats up? So, are you going to the hockey game/dance/play etc. tonight? That will open things up and hopefully get him talking! ♥ Laura

[view]

I just finished crying, letting it all out. All because of my parents. I'm making 14 very soon now, but when I was 12, I broke my virginity with this guy, and my parents told him not to call at all and not to come over. I admit, he was a bad influence, and he didn't care about me. But I learned so much from that. After that happened, I have been through numerous realationships, lasting anywhere from a week to 10 months. I matured very, very fast too. I have learned about all kinds of guys during that time, and I don't trust ANYONE now.I am currently in a serious relationship with a guy in his late 20s. He treats me so good. Never says a bad word to me. He says he's still shocked at how I am so mature for my age and says he's never met anyone as "real" as me before. The thing is, we can't go anywhere together. And I'm tired of letting good guys who're interested have to pass me up because my parents don't know me and think I don't know anything. I'm not saying I know it all, but I have been a street girl, and I know what it's like. i don't want that. I'm ready to settle down with one person. No cheating. And my age is what everyone looks at. Tonight I couldn't even go to a fair because "I'm too young to be out at night with 3 other girls." My parents don't know me. They don't know ANY of the things I have been through. I want to know how I can tell my parents that I feel too sheltered? It's not just that. My parents don't seem to understand that if they get me a cell phone, then they can stay in touch with me no matter where I am. They always try to keep me home. They won't even let me go to a high school dance, and I'm going there now. How can i tell them that age is anything but a number, and it's my maturity that counts? I'm sorry you had to read all that, but my life is getting very miserable, and I don't know what to do. I'm thinking a counselor...but I don't know. Please help and thank you.


Oh, and sorry if you misunderstand the part where I say i can't go anywhere with the guy in his 20s. I know why I can't go anywhere with him, it's illegal, but I can't go ANYWHERE with any boy, no matter what age. Many, many, endless scores of boys have asked me out to skating rinks and bowling alleys and three asked me out to the fair tonight. But I can't go because I'm "13".
Thanks again.

Hey. I am really sorry about everything. By the way you talk, you dont sound like a 13 year old at all. You are extremely mature for your age, which is a good thing but might have been caused by much pain and suffering which Im sorry for. Your parents are definitely over-protective of you. To them, when you lost your virginity at such a young age - that was breaking a huge trust barrier, which is hard to get back from them, although I know it wasnt your fault. There are many pressures I feel and have felt with past boyfriends to have sex. Reassure them of that - tell them thats NOT you, you would not just go out and have sex with some random guy. But, you were possibly in love at the time? Or it just felt right. They have a right to be concerned with you, but let them know that YOU know you made a big mistake & you know you can never get your virginity back, but you really want the trust that goes with it. It hasnt been too long since you lost your virginity and all of that, so you should give it some time. Time heals lots of hard things in life. And, maybe it will heal this. Unfortunatly, your parents can do whatever they want with you (meaning not let you go to the fair, bowling alley, etc.) and theres nothing you can do about it until your 18 and can move out. Start earning your trust back by being very nice, helpful around the house, tell them you love them instead of yelling at them for not letting you go out, if they do let you go out carry a cell phone with you, let them know where you are @ all times and who youre with, try not to hang out around boys so much around them so that they dont get the wrong idea, and maybe you could try counseling. Because a counselor might be able to talk to your parents about this also and let them see YOUR point of view. God Bless ♥ Laura

[view]

Well, when I was younger, this guy who I was sort of going out with(like an open relationship), we had sex and I soon discovered that I was pregnant. I didn't tell him or anybody but my sister, and she lived far away. I had an illegal abortion, and only a month later when I realized what I did, I told the boy and he was comforting but then he got mad because I didn't tell him.
After growing up some, even though I'm still in my teen years, I'm starting to realize I only gave up the baby because I was afraid of what other people would say and think about me. That was very stupid. And with me not telling anyone, I was left to my own thoughts.

But now, I'm starting to hate myself and everything. I can't stop thinking about how I would have loved this baby and even though it would have been hard, I would have done anything for my child. I'm starting to lose control and I am finding myself trying to get pregnant again. It's like an uncontrollable urge to have another child. I'm still in school, and my education means everything to me, and I don't want to mess this up, but I'm starting not to care, because like I said, i would do anything for my child. I cry EVERY night because I don't have a crying baby to soothe.
This is not a case of trying to keep a guy with me. I want a baby. I swear I really do. I need some advice on what do you think i should do.
Should I fulfill this urge, or keep holding it inside? Sorry about the length, but I really need someone else's view on this. Thanks so much.

Im sorry I didnt respond sooner - my internet hasnt been working for a few days! That sounds so terribly hard for a TEEN to go through - let alone anyone. So, for that I am sorry. Although you may think what you did was wrong, having a baby is a lot of work! And you need to remember that. Babies require love, attention, nurturing, money, clothes, food, shelter. Think about trying to do all that while still being a kid. It would be extremely hard & painful. Dont hate yourself over it, though! It is wrong to give up a baby (or do anything!) just because of people's reacction. But, in this case it was neccessary. You didnt have a lot of options here. For now, I would say pay attention to school - your right, education is very important. I know you want a baby, but its not good option right now. You'll know when the time is right. When you have an education, a job, a husband? I think you want to take the other baby's place in your life and your heart! But, you have to realize - your first baby is probably, most likely, perfect just where he/she is! Its safe and happy, so think of it that way! I dont think you should hold this all inside of you. You need to talk to someone (anyone!) Whether it be a guidance counselor, parent, teacher or very close friend. You need someone to guide you through the urge. I sincerely hope I helped ..you are a very, very brave girl. ♥ Laura

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker