KristinaKinesthetic's advice column

askKristinaKinesthetic

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: Hi, i am sort of worried about this decision i will be making in about 3 months. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 24. He lived in boston and went to college there for 6 years when i met him back in the end of June. it was great, we immediatly clicked. After spenging the night together legit every single night, give or take about 4-5 from July - September 1st, he then had to move back home with his parents because he was done with school. he now lives an hour and a half away and its been hard but since september , we manage and hangout atleast one night a weekend. we still miss ecahother alot and because we are far, we have begun to fight about the popular relatonship issues: loyalty& cheating, and pet peevs. we both are silly because we`ve both been faithful, but paranoid. he has been intering as a phsycial therapist m-f 8-4 and it is terrible because the money situiation to hangout is bad. He will graduate in may and well as i and we are interested in living together.

since he will be starting a job, and i will be a par time student and go to school, money will be fine . the fighting may keep up but i think alot will clear up. since i go and see him every weekend, i have decided to move down there. we really love eachother and want to be close but dont want to ruin things.

help or opinions from anyone who has moved in with a boyfriend

I've never actually moved in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but I did stay with a friend, who i then became boyfriend-girlfriend with during the stay.
it seems like you want to make this work, both of you, but forcing that further step is not going to improve the relationship.
I think you should wait a bit longer before making your decision. Tell your boyfriend how you feel- that you want to take the next step but you dont want to get into more than you can handle.

If you keep fighting, arguing, nagging, then you probably shouldnt move in together. The situation will only get worse in confined living space.
Good luck. :]
I hope something in there helped.

Q: what are girls supposed to get guys for valentines day?? i have NOO ideaa

It really depends on the guy, just like it depends on the girl.
some guys LOVE getting chocolate and candy, others like getting thoughtful cards and letters. For musically inclined guys, a CD- maybe one they've never heard of that you know and think they'll love- wrapped in a cool way. (they have some pretty cool holders at random places like Wal-Mart and Target)
I hope that helped, even though it doesn't exactly answer your question. :]

Q: Well the only thing that i look forward to these days is guys flirting with me and giving compliments because my families been fighting, my friends have been mean and ditching me, adn this one guy was flirting with me soo much and then my friends ruined it. He said i was hot, but i had no boobs, and then i was embarassed. He goes to a different school, and i only see him at the movie theater. 1-is there anyway to make my boobs look bigger? Also, my hair gets all fuzzy at the top, and 2-is there any way to get rid of that?

Thanks a bunch!!

1. Time. You seem relatively young (still in school at least), so I'm betting you've got a couple years more growth. Meanwhile, shirts with small details and ruffles at the chest, along with tighter shirts, always make your chest look larger. If thats not enough, and you're a 34A or above, Victoria's Secret sells a Miracle Bra, which can make you look a full cup size larger. I believe theyre still on sale now.
2. Use a hair straightener, whether its an iron or a serum.

I honestly think that this guy sounds like an arse, though. Do you really want someone in your life who makes you think less of yourself, or someone who doesn't appreciate what you've got to offer? There are plently of guys out there who like girls with smaller chests.
Hope something in there helped. :]

Q: i straighten my hair all the time
and i cant get the back of my hair it frustraights me ! so much and then
my hair gets wavey and unstraight later
in the day what can i do???

Use a straightening serum & only straighten your hair when its dry.
what I do: hair in strong, but not tight ponytail. Take hair out, and straighten one layer at a time. While straightening each layer, put the rest up into a ponytail.

Alright, thats the basics. Now, to fix this wavy in the back problem you have. divide your hair into two almost equal sections on the side of your head. (not pinned up or anything, just moved around to the front where you can see)
Take a chunk thats small enough to straighten, and pull it out from your hair as far as you can. Starting from the roots closest to the back of your head, straighten each bit...& eventually you're done.
hope it helped, I know how jwidcjsjsehfsjeigpfjq straightened hair can be.

Q: im pretty sure my hymen is broken or stretched from masterbating. Anyway im a virgin and i was wondering when i'll have sex will it hurt still even thought my hymen is broken/stretched?

thanks!

xo

Yes, it most likely will.
coz theres a bit more than a few younger readers, I won't go into why.
Send me an inbox question or email for that.
hope just that little bit partially helped. :]

Q: What is your personal opinion about myspace in general?

What do you feel about some of the perverts on there looking for 15 year old girls? I feel like it takes two to tango, but I was looking for others opinions. Thanks!

I honestly dont see what the big deal about myspace is.
If parents and/or concerned relatives were to inform their teenagers about the dangers of online predators, rather than completely banning their kids from the site, it would be manymanymany measures safer.
I do partially agree with you, though it may be a little 'cruel'.
Some girls (and guys of course) will post half-naked, or bikini shots of themselves online.
Now, really. If you're putting it that far out there, how can you not expect at least one pervert to come along?
Not that it justifies pedophilia, but even a profile on 'private' isnt completely protected.
& there are also the older men (meaning 18+) who will lie about their age, just as a younger girl will say she's older to the same person, because they are attracted to them.
:]
thats all I'll do for now.

Q: So this is pretty short and random. A friend and I are getting really bored with our lack-of-love lives. The guys at our school sucks. So my question is, where can we go to just hit on/pick up cute guys? we're 17, and there arent any like clubs for teens or anything.
kay thanks.

augh, I know the feeling. :]
I usually go to the mall, the movies, a park.
concerts are great places to meet guys as well- just make sure you're going for the kind of guy that attends the concert if thats the only reason you go.
if you have any coffee shops in your area that arent starbucks, thats a good option, too.
good luck & happy hunting. xd
-kristinaa

Q: ok i am 15 and i wear a bra size 32A. i dont wanna have like dolly parton boobs, but i want regular sized boobs without getting a job done and without gaining weight. AND WITHOUT STUFFING.

any ideas???

if you really REALLY want to have a larger-appearing chest, miracle bras work.
Victorias Secret it having a sale on them now, too. :]
the ones that make you look a size bigger actually do- one of my best friends has the same 'problem'.
& I'm sure you look just fine the way you are. There's many disadvantages to having a larger chest.
[34DD since fourteen, 116 pounds. Trust me, its not as great as people think]

Q: most of my friends are girls ima guy. one of my very good friends probly my best and i became friends not to long ago and it went straight up from there. we were both home sick all this week so far. we talked the whole time i was awake. i helpd her plan her birthday and she always texts me the chainmail sayin i love you or stuff like that how much she cares for me. i care for her alot to i just dont picture us dating were the kind of friends that are super close and very flirty but just not relationship kinda people. shes also having a very hard time with this other guy. after hearing all hes done to her i hate him. but i just dont really know what to do. i dont want to hurt her shes been hurt enough in one week than most people are in a life time. him and her fighting then being friends again have been going on for about a year. her bdays on valintines day what should i do or say to her. id die if she would get more hurt after i kill the guy who hurt her. but i just dont love her romantically i say just friends but we care and flirt with eachother way to much. what do i do?

Do you know whether or not she likes you?
because if you don't know, how will it surely break her heart to know that you don't like her romantically?
About the arse, tell her exactly what you said here, that you don't want to see her get hurt anymore.
For her birthday/valentines day, thats really up to you. I dont know the girl (I think?) but you should do something that is personal to you two: nothing cheesy like dozens of flowers and bunches of chocolate, but something personalized.
if she's rather sappy, you can give her a hand made card, will a sweet happy birthday wish, or a letter telling her how michvyou care for her. (if you do option B, dont say you dont like her romantically- try to steer clear of the whole subject.)

Im getting too lazy to write anymore now, but if you'd like some other ideas, or I didnt answer the question, feel free to drop an email or another inbox question on here. :]

WTFwhiskey@aim.com

Q: Can someone translate the Spainish words into English, in these lyrics for me? (So I can understand the song completely)

[1st Chorus]
I wanna get lost in love with you (oh yeah?)
And do all the things you want me to
Caress your body, touch you soul
because boy I love you sooo (and I love you too baby)
[Repeat]

The love we share is something so especial
Estar contigo is all I wanna do every night
Ever since el primer dia, the first day
I knew we`d last foreva if I had it my way
So the days go on, no hago otra cosa, but dream
about the moments our hearts
will come closa
Holding tu mano, and your face tan bonita, never met another young lady
señorita
And that is why I gotta say that you`re the best
A million and one ways just to express
Mi amor, I know that we will be togetha, so sing to me baby and sing foreva

[2nd Chorus]
I wanna be with you always
Together forever `till our ending days
Hold me baby don`t let go
Making love like never before
[Repeat]

Making love in the night time
Walks and romance
I`m telling you hermosa
My heart is in a trance
They say that true love is so hard to find
I thank the man up above
For making you mine
Talking on the telephone sending you kisses
A dozen of roses just to say that I am missing
The warmth of your body right next to mine
Eres tu la mejor like a toast of fine wine
Out to the movies maybe sharing some ice cream
Si estoy dormido, don`t wake me from my dream
Todo lo que quiero, all I need is your affection
My life was fine, but you brought perfection
Now we sit here just holding hands
Whispers in my ear tell me that I`ll be your man
Today, manana, in a paradise for two
I feel the same way cuz I`m so in love with you

[3rd Chorus]
I love the way you make me feel
My love for you is oh so real
Embrace my body, touch me soflty
Love me `till the morning
[Repeat]

You know that love we share is just something so special
The tenderness, I just don`t know what to say girl
Would you sing to me?
One more time do it like this, come on

[Back to 1st Chorus]
I wanna get lost in love with you
And do all the things you want me to
Caress your body, touch you soflty
because boy I love you sooo

[Back to 2nd Chorus]
I wanna be with you always
Together forever `till our ending days,
Hold me baby don`t let go
Making love like neva before

thats not hard to figure out, really, just hard for me to remember it all & type it in. (cell phone=no copy+paste)

Anyways, go to google & type in 'google translator'
that one works pretty well- if you find a website with those lyrics, copy it, and then paste (or retype) it into the box thats for translating an entire website. The automatic setting is spanish to English. Even though you don't need the whole thing translated, it will change the Spanish words into english, if they arent in an image or freakishly HTML'd.

Q: 14/f

Okay, so me and my 2 best friends usually have like a jealousy issue. All of us. If me and Sarah hang out, Katelyn will be jealous of it. And then always ask me to hang out with her. At lunch its torchur. I can not stand it, cause theres always gossiping and whispering going on. I just cant stand it. Sorry if this is confusing. But, i reallyyyyyy need advice on what to do to stop all the jealosy going on.

thanks
=]]

Well, you obviously want to make your friendship work right?
I think you should all sit down together [at someones house, or at least away from school] and say something like this,
'I really don't like it how were always the subject of gossip and we get jealous really easily.' there. Opinion stated. [if you have more of one, then say that, too]
next figure out a way to solve the problem. 'admit it, were best friends, and I know I care tremendous amounts for you guys, and thats why I get jealous. I've noticed the same thing with you two.'
wait for nods of approval or something of the like- this isnt an allout insult-fest, though some might take it that way.
'I think we can fix this- and the talking - by remembering that, everytime we get jealous, we THREE are best friends, not just two of us. We need to remember that we are all important to eachother.'
more nods.
'I love you guys. :]'
[only say that if you mean it!]

Good luck. :] & I hope that helps- obv. I've been through almost the same thing.

Q: 13/f

I am in 8th grade and go to a year round school. The first trimester I had a 1.8 and 2nd trimester I had a 2.6. I think we need a 6 point something to pass and go to high school. So I have no idea what to do. I did very bad in first trimester. I think you need to add the GPA up and then divide it by 6 right? So if I have the GPA I have now then will I pass? I am going to try and get them up again but I just want to know what it will be. I don't know for sure if I have to divide by 6 but I'm not sure. Oh by the way I have brought my grades up but I am struggling when tests come, I stink at studying. I always put it off. So does anyone have have any study tips. I talk to my teachers alot about it. I just need help. Thanks!

in most schools, at least the ones in the united states that I've been to & know of, there is a maximum of a 4.0 or 5.0 GPA. (depending on whether or not you're in honors)

To find your GPA, you take the grade points you get in all of your classes and divide it by the total number of classes you have.

I suggest you talk to your counsellor about whether or not you will be able to pass- & what you have to do to pass, if it is not likely at the moment.

Here's the point scale-
A- 4 points
B- 3 points
C- 2 points
D- 1 point
F- no points

Of course, this may or may not be correct depending on your geographical location, I am in California, & thats what is used here.

As far as studying goes, there are different tips & tricks that work for an individual person.

Some common ones are:
-study every day! Try to get in five to ten minutes, maybe before bed? If you can't do it everyday, study for ten to fifteen minutes every other day. This is if you have a test or not!

While studying...
-say things aloud. Its like studying twice as hard with half the conscious effort.
-have a friend, family member, or anyone available quiz you.
-make flash cards.
-have fun! Some of the subject matter may be horribly boring, but there are very interesting ways of remembering it. Don't worry if its something you should say in front of your teacher- you're the only one who has to know about it.

Cram sessions are not good! Your brain will not retain the information as well this way!
But if the situation does come up, remembering to take brief breaks in between. (15 minutes or so.)

Hope that helped- & good luck. :]

Q: Is it a sin to have sex before marraige but then get married to the person you had sex with? Dont worry I didnt do this I was just corious! I know that sex before marraige alone is a sin, I just didnt know about getting married after sex. Thanks to whoever answers.

technically, sex before marriage even in that case would be a sin.
[according to The Book & eight years of Sunday School]
You can always fix the problem later, but that doesn't prevent the fact that there was a problem originally.
of course, I may be wrong considering my whole 'non-religious' status.
but I dont even speculatively think that that little issue would damn someone to high [low?] hell, anyway.
hope something in that helps. xd

Q: OKay so i want to try pot one time.. thats it, just once, my friend offered to do it with me

what are some of the last effectf of doing drugs.. like withh doing it one time follow me my whole life

or is it not that bad to do it like once

this is really a pretty easy one to get information on- just google search the lasting effects of smoking pot one time.

Assuming you want personal connection, I had a friend who said almost the same thing- she wanted to try pot just once to prove to herself that it was bad. Thing is, she was hooked, that instant, and couldn't give it up for a while. She went in for a brain scan to see if there were any lasting effects, & the drugs had burned effing holes into her brain. o.o

Pot (along with many other drugs) also stays in your system for longer than a week. It soaks into your pores & tubes & innards & stays for 30+ days.
[that may have sounded a little off- its all thanks to heavy school films on why drugs are BAD, and why staying off drugs is C-O-O-L. Hence the strange language in them trying to teach a lesson]
Just know that once doesn't always mean once.

Q: has anyone felt that uncomfortable tightness on their face after taking a shower? how do you relieve that?

believe it or not- the water in the shower dehydrates your skin.
after your shower, put on a light, non-oily moisturizer.
In addtion to removing the oils from your skin, it also helps to open your pores up. thats a great time to put all your moisturizer on.
good luck. :].

Q: im really bad at the reading section on the SAT especially when i have to fill in the blanks with words that i barely even recognize. so i was wondering if there were any tricks that can make this easier for me or any tips? and also what are some ways to make my SAT scores higher, other than classes. thank you!`

okay, so here's what I did in seventh & eighth & ninth & tenth grades (PSAT!)
you come to a problem that has a bunch of words you dont know. One or two you either know or think you know what they mean- but they dont fit. Cross them out. (physically, if allowed)
then look at the roots of the other words. Those can often help you to get a little of the definition out of the word. Choose which one is more the more logical of the remaining answers. When (if) you go back to check your answers, do not change the answer on the ones you didnt know in the first place, unless you remembered what one word meant and it fits. Often your first impression is better than the second time around.
hope something in there helped- & good luck. :]

Q: My friend needs help on choosing Latin, French or Spanish, for high school

Spanish-Florida a lot of people know Spanish here

French-A love romantic language she loves lot

Latin-A great language to learn, because it will be easier to learn another language afterwards

I can't help her because we have different opinion on things. Any help please?

Please and Thank You.

I'd also have to say Spanish. French isnt very practical unless she's planning on living somewhere in Europe. & a lot of employers these days are more likely to hire someone who can speak Spanish, rather than French, coz it is the 'unofficial second language of the US'

Latin I wouldn't reccommend, because it IS a dead language, and learning one language that you dont particularily like, just so its easier to learn another language is pretty much pointless. (and a lot more work!)

I hope she ends up taking something that she'll use later on- or is at least able to decide what to take before deadlines are up & she gets placed in some horrid thing like computer tech. (at least, that's how it goes over here) :]

Q: I Love Love Love music! but i don't want to ruin my hearing when I'm older by always listening to it, I've already reduced the volume from 30 to 20 and I'm getting used to that. I listen to my Ipod on long road trips and on the bus to school. Is there anything else i can do so that i don't need hearing aids when I'm older? Thank You:)

when (if) you go to concerts at small venues, ALWAYS wear earplugs. (they sell them at most larger concerts and at home improvement places like home depot)
in a small room, even if it can fit 500 people, or more, the speakers are just as loud in back as they are in front.
that'll really screw up your hearing- the effects are almost immediate.

Q: i want to get the iphone. My contract ends in september and i already have cingular. Its 400 dollars but then its 40 dollars a month for unlimited txting and stuff. is there any cheaper deals with unlimited ttxting?

I believe the only other extras you can have are Internet access and two-hundred text messages. [& I'm almost positive it goes for $20 a month.]

If you text, unlimited is definitely worth the extra twenty dollars- I have a friend who was charged over 400 extra because texting on them is very addictive.

Q: ok well im having a sweet 16 in february and well im sortve stressing about the invites because of the fact that not everyone is invited from my school and i dont want the word to get out about the party because then those who werent invited will plan to crash it or talk shitt and i really dont need that stress right now im going through enough already and i just dont know what to do i cant just invite everyone but i dont know how to go about doing this quiet if itll get out eventually ughh some one whos been in my situation please help or tell about what happened after wards

I'm afraid you can't stop gossip- those who aren't invited might hold it against you, so make sure to invite everyone that's important to you.

As for the party crashers: tell the people you give the invitation to that they MAY NOT bring a friend unless they clear it with you first. Keep a list of everyone you invite and make sure people know that if they are not on the list, they will not be allowed at the party.
Hope that helped, & have a happy, unstressful sweet sixteen. :]

bio

i ' m usually pretty nice , and i love to meet new people . :]

both my parents are doctors , so i know quite a bit about that subject . c:

and i don ' t like using capital letters : i find them pointless , though i can type in full sentences , and love to see others try , as well .