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thinking about moving in together
Hi, i am sort of worried about this decision i will be making in about 3 months. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 24. He lived in boston and went to college there for 6 years when i met him back in the end of June. it was great, we immediatly clicked. After spenging the night together legit every single night, give or take about 4-5 from July - September 1st, he then had to move back home with his parents because he was done with school. he now lives an hour and a half away and its been hard but since september , we manage and hangout atleast one night a weekend. we still miss ecahother alot and because we are far, we have begun to fight about the popular relatonship issues: loyalty& cheating, and pet peevs. we both are silly because we`ve both been faithful, but paranoid. he has been intering as a phsycial therapist m-f 8-4 and it is terrible because the money situiation to hangout is bad. He will graduate in may and well as i and we are interested in living together.
since he will be starting a job, and i will be a par time student and go to school, money will be fine . the fighting may keep up but i think alot will clear up. since i go and see him every weekend, i have decided to move down there. we really love eachother and want to be close but dont want to ruin things.
help or opinions from anyone who has moved in with a boyfriend
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First off, loyalty and cheating are not something to fight over. You shouldnt move in together if you don't trust each other. And by that, I mean you shouldnt move in UNTIL whoever has the issue has learned to clamp down on it and not be accusing the other of anything.
I wouldnt recommend moving in this quickly. Usually Id say you should date for a year or so before moving in together, at least. Its a big step, and things that weren't a problem before WILL become a problem later. If you move in there has to be the commitment on both sides that you arent going to leave, that you will stick it out and work it out, no matter the issue. Thats really hard to do (trust me)
Fighting about stupid things is going to happen. You just need to work on the resolving the fights and minimizing them, because its alot easier to stay mad at someone when theyre right in front of you, or when you have to share a living space and so you cant get distance to chill out.
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I'm going to give you a bit of advice:
If it isn't worth fighting over, then don't argue about it.
Pet peeves are petty arguments.
Don't fight over material things such as money. You can't buy happiness, and love is priceless.
Loyalty and cheating is something that is a serious deal, but you both get a lot further by sitting down and maturely discussing it, rather than arguing your point.
Paranoia is no reason to assume, fight, and point fingers. Trust is a key factor in a healthy relationship. As is honesty and communication.
Remember, when angry and fighting you hear but don't listen, and you talk AT rather than talk TO. That gets you nowhere.
ygs-29/f
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I've never actually moved in with a boyfriend or girlfriend, but I did stay with a friend, who i then became boyfriend-girlfriend with during the stay.
it seems like you want to make this work, both of you, but forcing that further step is not going to improve the relationship.
I think you should wait a bit longer before making your decision. Tell your boyfriend how you feel- that you want to take the next step but you dont want to get into more than you can handle.
If you keep fighting, arguing, nagging, then you probably shouldnt move in together. The situation will only get worse in confined living space.
Good luck. :]
I hope something in there helped.
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