Member Since: June 30, 2014
Answers: 133
Last Update: June 29, 2016
Visitors: 5920
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hey i an from Limpopo.im in a new relationship.me n my bf we a naw datin for 1month n 3days.i love my bf so much n i try to make him happy but dat doesnt hide de fact dat my bf is still inlove wth his ex who has died.wen he need me i go n be wth him.on saturday it was his bdae n i made a suprise party for him n i invited his friends n ada gals.he was very happy n i was happy to see him happy.but dat dae at nyt he said i shuld not leave i shuld sleep ova n i did so.he started talking abt his ex who died n his ex was buried on saturday on his bdae.he told me dat he is over her n he dnt luv her anymore but his actions was telling me another story.he evn cried for his ex infront of me n didnt wt tu du or wat to say.my heart was heavy wen he was kissing me he suddenly stopped n he said he cant.yesterdae he removed de status on watsap he wrote abt me n write dat he love his ex n he change a profile pic n put his ex.i cried alone n my hurt was heavy realising dat im truly,madly n deeply inlove wth him.what do i have to do? (link)
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Hi sweetheart,
Please forgive the late response.
Sweetie,please give him time to mourn his loss,this will take time,and as of right now,he needs the time to get over his loss of his ex.Even if this woman was even just his friend,he still needs time to get over the loss.
He may have told you he was over to appease your feelings,sometimes people say things they dont always mean,or he doesnt want you to have an extra worry.
I know you are hurting,and if you really do love him,please understand he needs to take the time to mourn his loss
God bless
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How do you know when a guy likes you ? I'm sick and tired of guys asking me out to dinner but then I later see them hanging out with other girls ...
I just can't read guys, they're just so vague and complicated (link)
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Doesnt that just suck? Guys can be fickle,tsk tsk tsk
Before you agree to a date,maybe try to see if they are willing to get to know you as a friend first,before they try any moves on you!
Its not right that they are some men who play the field,and people should never be treated that way
Next time wait on a dude to see if he is sincere enough to date a person like you!
Much love
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I love my boyfriend & he loves me. I've never been in a long term-long distance relationship before. We talk every night & when do get to hang around each other is soo hard to part ways. but he has a lot of issues... 2 kids.. 2Baby mommas .. i have met one kid/mom the other lives States away.. i have NO kids.
I knew him in the past and loved him ever since and now that hes in my life again and hes said he's always loved me it seems like a fairytale .. like are we really soulmates? He says he want me & obly me and forever.
but i go on his facebook and he asks ppl about other girls. not often actually just today but he is an alcoholic and i don't want to make excusess.. he also pokes" other women... is that lead to cheating? If he only wants why does he do that stuff on fb? I'm immature for my age and so is he and i have never had a serious relationship before .. what u think? (link)
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Hi sweetie,
Long distance is always so hard :( Wah :(
Long distance relationships can work out,if its meant to be,and it set up on trust,honesty,and spending time with one another.
You mentioned he ''pokes'' other women on FB,it can lead to cheating,but only if the women he pokes respond back to him,not all the women he pokes at will be intrested in him
Does he have ''In A Relationship'' status on FB? If not,you may want to casually mention it,like''Hey,could I put ''In A Relationship on Facebook?'' etc,make it light,and see if that is something you might do,its not a bad idea
You didnt mention how old you are,I assume you are in your early 20s,dont worry,you still have time to mature,we all go at different paces,and your guy will mature much later than you do,its a known fact,women mature faster than men do.
He has 2 kids,thats hard. Really hard.
Did you just found out he is an alcoholic? If so,think about long he has been one,and may consider he gets help for that.That can be very very dangerous.Suppose he comes out to see you and he is drinking,and you get in an arguement,he can hit you,he can be verbally abusive.Its very dangerous.Dont put yourself in that position.
Sweetie,take some time out and ask yourself if this is worth it to YOU to keep pursuing. Ask yourself if you see yourself marrying this man,keep in mind,the longer this relationship goes,the more attatchment that will be,and further down you meet his children,then they get attatched to you,and if you both split up,his children would also be affected by the break-up.
Think about this a bit more before stepping forward.
Much love
Xo
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My friends did the challenge but we didn't know we had to say charlie charlie can we stop? before we could stop playing! Are we all going to be haunted until we die or just the person who first asked to summon the demon?
SCARED PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Hi sweetie,
I really recommend going to a church and asking for prayer for this to be off you,as that is the only way this will go away,curses are real,and prayer is the only way for them to get off of you
You and your friends will be okay sweetie
Dont worry
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It's gross, especially when it's overt and/or persistant. I thought a relationship was meant to be between 2 people? Why do some couples try to get other people's attention? I noticed yesterday at the mall. There was this interracial couple all over each other, as we stood in line at this food place, and i'd focus on other things but they'd sometimes look back with this look on their face line they want their relationship to interest people, incite anger or jealousy, etc. it was awkward for me, directly behind them, and others in line. I have no problem with any couple, interracial, gay, lesbian, transgender, one young and one old, etc. I'm happy others can find love and be in relationships. I'm not jealous either, it's just uncomfortable to essentially be viewing foreplay without consent. There were children in line, too. Some people seem to get a sexual thrill out of people seeing their pda and that just seems sick and self centered. It makes me understand why there are countries that ban it. (link)
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Hi there!! This is a very good question!!
Well,let's start with,America is very very free,and the respect here isnt as high as it is in some other countries.
Why do people PDA?
Many reasons,most likely,its to show off and get attention.Its a very odd way of doing so,but people will do things to get attention,because they know people will stop,and look.
Yes,it is very rude and disrespectful! Not to mention very very wrong,and it shows lack of respect by those who do it
However,they are not breaking any guidlines,or any laws.
Yes,I would agree,its very selfish and those couples should really it outside and be mindful of others,no matter the age,thats it wrong
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Hi,
I'm usually pretty good at giving advice, but this I can't help myself with. I'm 13 and I just got transferred to a new place. I've been here for two months now. As many people here are teens they love to act all grown up and I'm not comfortable with the kind of things they do and the language they use, so I'm not friends with anyone, I tried to adjust and get used to them but without a friend I just can't manage. I'm kind of shy but I can make friends easily, but no one is like me (a little kiddish and crazy) everyone loves to act all grown up. I'm having a tough time making friends, please give me some advice on how I can adjust or I'll end up a lonely girl who talks to herself (link)
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Hi doll,
Well let's see,new place,new people.
The people around you are not what you hoped for them to be. And yes,isnt bad language such a turn off and disrespectful? Yes,it is! And you are smart not to get caught up in that,Bad words spell trouble.Using bad language doesnt make you an adult,being responsible does.
Now then,what activities do you like to do? Is it cooking? Building legos? Art? Fashion design? You can join clubs that have similar intrests as you and go from there,and if not,start your own group/or club,that way you can set a few guidlines.
Dont change yourself to fit in,just be you!
If starting or joining a club at a new school/place doesnt work,try the library,they are more modern now and have more opportunities for teens to get involved in different groups where they can make friends with respectful and honorable people.
Hope it helps and be blessed
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ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
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Hi sweetie,
Im so sorry about what you are going through
Sweetie,you are so young,and have a long long road ahead full of beautiful amazing things..
I can offer you to call this number
1-800-273-8255
This number can help you so much because they can help you much more than I canm.They can offer you comfort and advice
Much love and God Bless You!
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F\18 hey am highschool senior i
am in love with z same boy 4
three yrs now, i knw he loved
me n asked me to be his gf
about 3 yrs ago but i said no, i
don't knw hw he feels now but i
knw mine.., we r on z same class
but we don't talk like classmates
wen we see eachother we act
like we don' t even knw each
other, but z amazing thing is zat
we talk by Watsapp we even
make fun of eachother. as many
of my friends think zat we will
endup together i also think z
same, u knw zat chemistry ya
we definetly have it, i can't stop
imagining us together, i even go
to school just with a tought zat i
will find him at z gate and we
will go together talking, coz its
so awkward talking by watsapp n
not talk by person but i never
even once had a chance of
finding him , n we both have a
bad behaviour which is pride..
too much am a serious kind of
girl, zats how everybody knows
me, like i don't like boys, i hate
relationship n like zat but no one
knows zat am like zis inside, zey
make fun of me all z time n zey
say zat i have feeling for him too
but i always deny... say like" me
with him never" but deep inside
am just trying to hide my
feelings, i don't like anybody
knowing ,but lately i think its
getting obvious coz my
pretending skills are getting
weaker, i don't even know how i
act when i see him... i tried
many things to forget him i
even started to point out his bad
features just to forget him but
nooo his not easily forgoten
person!! besides zat there are so
many reasons i can't be with
him now.. but i can't handle it,
when he starts a conversation
on WApp i just become so happy
n excited but when he don't talk
to me even if he is online i get
so mad, n jelous, n he is a
diffrent kind of guy i hve never
heard even one guy like him, we
have never talked about love or
that kind of stuff we always talk
about school, music, film but
never about his feelings or
mine, he is just different even
when he asked me to be his gf
he never faced me he told me
by his bestfriend, at zat time we
didn't speak for like 6 month but
even after we made peace he
never talked about a thing i
don't know maybe he is just like
me who hides feeling, but in
g-10 his one friend called me n
told me zat his friend loves me
very much (z one who asked me
to be his gf) n said zat he even
cryies whenever zey talk abt zis
kind of stuff n tell zem not to
talk n he said zat he is telling
me zis without him knowing n
asked me to say yes to him but i
still said no n told him zat we
could be friends n zat he can call
me but he didn't i don't know
what kind of person he is..... but
i just don't know wat to do with
my life p/s any sugesstion??? (link)
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Hi honey!
First,try to get to know him as a person,and take it from there.Does he like the same things you do?
Do you like the same things? You see,try being just his friend first and then go from there!
He may develop feelings for you later!
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Hello Advicenators, First of all I would like to note that this is not my account. My friend is letting me use hers because she thought this website would help me figure this out.
I`m an 18 years old female. Three nights ago, my boyfriend came to sleep over my house. He came late at night and we had sex..lots of it and by that I mean it lasted a long time. In the morning, we had more sex..lots of it and at night again...also lots of it and then he left and went to his house. The following morning, my vagina had an irritation but I did`nt worry too much because it has happened before (where my vagina had an irritation after sex). This morning, I had a big, thick, white discharge on my vagina and I started to freak out. My vagina still has an irritation and the discharge keeps coming. Is this because we had too much or is there something wrong with me?
(link)
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This can sometimes be normal among some women after sexual activity. Discharge is normal after sex,even the morning after.
However,if it does persist,make an appointment with a Gynecologist.You dont want any problems with your ovaries,or get an infection.
Drink plenty of water,lukewarm would be best.That way your body can get a good cleansing.
Be blessed
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Hello,
My boyfriend and I are 17 and 18 years old. We started a long distance relationship a little over six months ago. Back then, I was still a virgin and he knew that. However, a few months ago I cheated on him and lost my virginity to a guy I honestly had no feelings for. I was completely aware of what I was doing and I did it because I really just wanted to get it over with. I made sure there were no feelings attached. Now, the guy still chases after me, but I want no business with him, or any other guy rather than my boyfriend. I love him to death and really have no trouble remaining faithful. I realized it wasn't worth it and he's truly the only guy I ever want to be with. However, I know that he'll want to break up with me and his heart will be completely shattered if he knows. He keeps talking about how magical he wants my first time to be once we finally see each other again. And I believe it will be magical because it'll be with him. I don't want to lose him, but I do think he needs to know. I also don't think it's any conversation to have via phone/text/video. A close friend told me not to say anything '"cause there's no point". I know if we were in the same time zone it'd be easier to confess and try to win his trust back, but I have a serious disadvantage by not being able to daily demonstrate my true feelings towards him. I've thought of telling him in the far future, once we're living together, but I don't know how he'll feel about it after such a long time...
Also, I'm actually kind of glad I did it only because it was extremely painful, and he wasn't the one who caused that terrible experience. The guy was gentle, so it would've been bad either way. Should I tell him when we finally meet again? If so, should I do it as soon as possible, or do I give it some time? If I do choose to tell him, I know I probably shouldn't have sex with him until he's known, but I'm terribly scared of ruining the possibility of a future with him.
I'd appreciate any thoughts and advice,
Thank you. (link)
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Hi sweetheart.Ask yourself this.Is your conscience getting to you?
By that,I mean,is it constantly poking at your brain and heart? If you have aid yes to both these questions,then you need to tell him.......in person.
I agree,you cant have it over the phone,or text or Skype.
Yes my dear,you must be completely honest.You cannot have a relationship based on a lie,or something hidden under the rug.It will hurt you,and it will cost you dearly later on,because your conscience will come to get you.
Im sure that you are gravely sorry,and honey,we all mistakes,none of us without them,but most importantly,you seem to have learned something from this expirience,and for that,I hope that will ease your heart.
I myself,am in a long distance relationship,and its HARD! They are times when I wonder,if he is being faithful,but I must understand and trust him.
Trust and honesty go a long long way in relationships and friendships,keep in mind,your boyfriend is also your friend too.
You are in an impossible situation.So,when you tell him,bring flowers,and if possible,bring a friend who can be nearby in your surroundings in case your guy flips out and your friend can comfort you.Prepare yourself sweetheart,because you dont know what he will say or do.
He can forgive you or leave you,but remember,he is not perfect.
I myself was raised in staying a virgin until I got married.Im unmarried,but still a virgin,Im 25. I have always made that clear in any relationship I had,that I wont go to bed,until Im legally wed.Because once your virginity is gone,you cant get it back.
What I want you to do dear one,is forgive yourself. You are young,you have a life to live,and none of us are perfect.You will make more mistakes honey,its all a part of life.
Make sure you get rid of this guy you slept with,him chasing after you can be potentially dangerous,if he still persist on you,file a restraining order.Make sure you protect yourself as much as you can.
Also,when you talk to your guy,make it very clear,that you learned something from this,and you will do watever it takes to win his trust back,and you love him.The longer you wait,the more guilt you will feel.
Be blessed and I hope all goes well
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My wife and I have been married for 47 years. Admittedly shew has made some good financial decisions over the years but now I am concerned about something very serious. We have approximately 95,000.00 in nth stock amrket. ait goes up and down, most.y down lately. I want it all sold and the money put into the bank where it never goes down. She refuses and I hate confrontation. She will simply not talk about it. I asked her one question that I thought would seal the sell it all deal. "Is there more of a chance of it getting to 100,000 or going to 80,000.00"? we've all seen the crashes and we're to old to go through another one. What do you suggest? (link)
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My advice? Consult a broker,or financial consultant!
Honestly the stock market is just one big gamble,you may want to consider selling,cashing in and invest in gold!!
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I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me. (link)
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Hi sweetie,lets see,you didnt state how old you are,and you just got your first bra,and you havent finished puberty,I assume youre only 12 or 13,that being said,you need to slow down.
You have your whole life ahead of you,I honestly dont reccommend having sex at all period.You can get pregnant,you can catch diseases,you at your age are more likely to catch a HIV or any other sexual disease because at your age your immune system is weaker. Do not have sex,that is the best advice I can give you.It can hurt you and it can cause alot of trouble.Instead,find a nice boy who will treat you with respect!!
Best wishes
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I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for. (link)
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You must turn yourself into the police immeditaely.They will ask you to write down everything everything that happened.You will also may have to provide the name of the woman that was involved
You will be placed under immediate arrest without possibilty of bail.
You will also have to be prepared for emotional backlash and alot of unsupport.
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So this girl, lets just call her c. We've been friends for a long time, and she knows i really, really like her, but she's dating someone else. I feel like ever since she started dating another guy, I feel like my love for her is poison to our friendship, and we are drifting apart. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings either. I love her, but the more I love her, the harder it is for our relationship to work out. Then, there is another girl I'm good friends with, I recently just met her. lets call her k. K likes me, I can tell, and I think I like her too, but my feelings with c are holding me back from k. I don't ever want to hurt k's feelings, and i feel like i am making k like me more without meaning to. Even if kate and I worked out, it would be an online relationship, like instagram and skype you know, and C and I live next door from eachother :( I just need help, please, from a girl. someone who is good with this stuff... (link)
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Hi sugar! Let's see if I can help!
Youve known C a long time,you love her.Very much.
She is involved with someone else,you said she is dating,is she official with this guy,or taking a test drive? Both are 2 different things.Does she know you love her? If so,and she hasnt responded in which you hoped,you need to let it go honey. Give yourself a break and take time out and deal with your emotions before being with someone else because you never want to enter a new relationship with heavy baggage and emotions.
You could also,try to meet someone near you,someone you could see on a regular basis.
Im in a long distance relationship myself,it sucks,and it so hard,and you will feel the tug of distance and apartness soon after awhile.
If you pursue Kate,make sure you will for sure be able to see her,and in fact start planning now when to see eachother,because sadly you cant be official until you meet face to face.
C and you live next door to each other,thats hard,but try to avoid her for a few days and see how you feel,start detatching your emotions,because in the end,she may never feel the same way about you.Only she knows what she feels.
Do some alone time,and pick,in your gut what you feel is best
Be blessed
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This guy likes me and keeps talking to me and I want to make sure I'm not accidently flirting with him. Can you tell what not to do? Thanks (link)
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What not to do? Well,body language is sure way of getting your point across.Crossing arms can be for one,turning your head slightly,almost like you have no intrest,guys will pick up on that and back away slowly. If a guy is still persistent,and you dont like him,just tell him straight,Im flattered but not intrested :)
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I have lied to my boyfriend his car handle fell off so I try to fix it with some super glue he came to my house that evening and asked me if I tried to fix his hand on his car with super glue and I stood in front of him face to face and I said no so he said well I'm going to call my son and see if he done it so you got a hold of his son and his son said no I didn't do it look at the cameras that you have at your house and it will tell who did it. So the next day when he left for work I text him that I did ithe forgive me for that stupid lie but he still broke up with me because I did it face to face if you truly love somebody you shouldn't have to lie to him you should tell them the truth what should I do I asked him for a second chance but he's not listening or even talking to me (link)
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Hi sweetie!!! I'm so sorry this happened!!
Lying is definitely a big big no no in relationships.
Try talking to him again and explain that you just lied only because you didn't want him angry at you.
If that fails send him flowers with an apology note. I actually tried this myself and it worked for me.
Write on the note "Honesty is not only the best policy. Its the only policy. I'm sorry. Please forgive. I love " something along those lines.
Be brave and be blessed!!
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So my bf (not sure if he still is) and I are/were in a long distance relationship for 4 months now.
Last week (Saturday), I sent him a text saying "hi" and he replied late night and I sensed something was wrong so I asked him if we are okay and he said yes and he told me we really were okay.
Then next day no contact.. I told him that I feel things are a little too distant and i'd like to know what's happening as I hadnt heard from him in 2 days and I even asked him if he wanted to do this anymore.
He said he does and he's not slept in 36 hours. I told him that I wouldn't know That unless he tells me.
And he said "I know. I'm sorry".
And after that i told him it would be easier for me to know why this is happening.. He said " he's got s lot on his plate. He's losing his mind ".
I told him things will be fine.
And I didn't receive any reply after that after last Wednesday. I haven't texted him since and I don't feel like it. Should i assume that we have broken up and move on. I'm really tired with all the drama.
Two weeks back this guy wants more communication and hated when I didn't text him. Now this is just contradictory.
I also asked him directly if he didn't want to do this as it would spare us from any drama.
What should I do.? I don't want to text him again as he was very cold in his messages. How long should I wait for his response if any and am move on??
(link)
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Ouch,this is hard,Ive been through it and I hate it :(
Try calling him instead of texting,tell him that your talk just cant wait and you need just 5 minutes of his time and tell him whats in your mind and your heart.Also,let him know that you are concerned and that you are hurting from his actions,and silence very much,ask flat out if he still wants to continue you on with you and go from there
Be blessed
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My husband and I's one year anniversary is coming up in a few months, and so is a very close friend's wedding, her wedding date: our one year anniversary. I'm at a loss of what to do. My husband wouldn't be able to come with me to her wedding, and my friend would be extremely hurt if I didn't go. What makes the situation awkward is I knew when picking my wedding date that my friend would be getting married that same day. I had no choice however (my husband is military). I reassured and promised her since she got engaged that I would be there at her wedding. In fact, as soon as I got the wedding invite, I texted her and let her know I would be there and how excited I was. My husband always knew I'd be going, but I guess it just clicked for him I'd be missing or first anniversary. He's very upset, anniversaries are very important to him. I tried reasoning with him that we could celebrate another day, but he's not having it. What do I do? I will always pick my husband over anything, but shouldn't he be more understanding? Should I be present for the most important day of my close friend's life and hurt my husband? Or be there with my husband for our one year anniversary and risk losing my friend? (And I have very few true good friends) (link)
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Hi dear one,
Oh boy! this is tricky.
Here are some options to discuss
Would it be in any way possible,if you guys could spend the night before the day of the wedding at a nice hotel and have an anniversary breakfast? Or a brunch? That way,at least you would be honoring your anniversary as best you can,since the wedding would be later in the day.
You love your friend and husband,and its not fair for you to be put in a position where you feel you have to choose,I think with what I have suggested,seems like a possible solutuion,spend time with your hubby and then attend the friends wedding
Explain to him again that you made a commitment and that this one time,you are unable to back out of going to your friends wedding.
Also,let him know it means so much to you,and that you would love for him to be there with you too.
Good luck dear one
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I have known this boy since elementary school and we are seniors in high school now. I never really liked him in this way until this year.. I sit at the same table with him And 3 other classmates with whom we share a friendship with that's hard to explain. One of my girlfriends at the table knows how I feel towards him And she notices how we fight like a married couple. I really like him And he talks to me like I'm his wife or something. We argue all the time but I think it's just a part of our chemistry. My question is how do I know if he really likes me the way I like him or if he's just joking all the time. By the way he's only dated white And Hispanic girls in the past And I'm African American And so is he. (link)
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Hi honey. Hmm.You fight all the time....
Hmm...well,it depends,what do you fight about? Is it disagreement on things you like,movies? Opinions of people?
Fighting is normal,bit if its all the time,its not a good thing,because it can escelate and you may say things you dont mean,and say stuff you will regret.
Be sure you really like this young man more than ''just friends'' he may or may not feel the same way you do,so you need to clear up whether or not he is really what you want.
Do you see your future with him?
Will you both go to the same college together?
Think about things a little more before talking with him about a relationship.
And darling,race or color,or religion should never matter.It is the person and it is the heart.
Be blessed!
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why am I alive
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You are alive because you creative by our Heavenly Father! He has a purpose for you in your life!!
Find something to be passionate about and pursue it and meet awesome people!
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