8ibah04's advice column

ask8ibah04

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: This guy, let's call him Mike... I've really liked him since second greade, (eigth grade now) well, i really want to go out with him, but i know that he don't like me... what do i do to make him?!?

I know this soundz stupid but just be yourself. But to be more helpful, if your assertive and outgoing, andyou have enough courage, then just step to him and tell him how you feel. Dont try to be something your not just to impress a boy, who is not promised to be with you forever, its just a waste of time. Hope I helped enough, good luck

Q: whenever im not with my boyfriend, all i ever talk about is him. like CONSTANTLY. and im like always depressed when im not with him... is that like, weird?

Not at all, it just means you may just have strong feelings for him. Dont look at it as something you should be ashamed of.

Q:
im female 18 and my boyfriend is 20 everything about him is great except for one thing i dont think my boyfriend has good hygiene (unbrushed teeth,body odor)i dont know how to tell him while being nice.

Well I'm not sure if I could help, but maybe you should take him with you to the store, and like buy things that you would usually buy, and make sure he's with you when you go into the deodorant, shower gel, soap, and toothpaste department, and act normally, ask him what he thinks about different scents but only for you, then offer to buy him some good smelling things.

Or I had a cousin who did this. For his birthday or valentines day or your anniversary, make or get him a basket with candies a card some good smelling things, and if its for valentines day maybe a pair of heart boxers LOL! Good Luck!

Q: I'm losing all my friends because im annoying and the im always being a beep all the time how can i get my friends back or get new ones

P.S. almost everyone teases me cuase im short could u give me combacks to the teasing to

Well if you know that your losing friends becasue you a bit annoying or bitchy whatev then just make a change, but you also have to make sure your not just making this change for others, and your making for yourself only.

As far as the teasing about being short, I cant really help ya on that, cause everyone tells me Im tall (5'3) but if something goes on at school, and I want to make a point about it or something, then I'll go to a website like myhotcomments.com and find a comment that could help me with they situation, then I send it to my friends on there myspace. Its pretty much being creative, and showing that I was the one who got the last laugh LOL! good luck though! ;)

Q: Okay so first let me explain. I have two great friends, and we've been practically sisters and i know they always will be. Lets call my great friends, Lisa and Sue. There is another girl group at our school as well. They have some pretty mean girls in their group, but two of them are just ok (not very nice though). Lets call the ok girls Pam and Janice. Now, Pam has spread some pretty harsh rumors about Lisa, but Lisa says they've worked it out. However Pam still occasionally says some mean things about Lisa behind her back. Now Lisa, Sue, and I have always been civil to this other group, in fact Lisa, Sue, Janice, and Pam were all on the same XC team. they have all these inside jokes that they wont tell me and Sue even invited Pam and Janice over to make cookies and stuff. Lisa and Sue still tell me that they are just being nice, but now they seem to be really becoming friends. I know that Lisa and Sue would never ditch me, and that we would always have the better friendship, but i want to tell Lisa and Sue how this new behavior has been hurting a bit. Like Sue and Pam have things in their IM infos that talk about their cookie party or whatever. I feel left out, and i want to tell Lisa and Sue how i feel but i am scared they will think i am being ridiculous because even i know they would never ditch me. all i want to say is that i feel left out. should i just let the inside jokes slide and get over it or should i tell them how i feel, if so what should i say???

To be honest you should let them go ahead and make their firends and you should also add some new friends to the group. Im not saying completely rid away from Lisa and Sue but make some more friends, that way you dont feel left out. I think Lisa and Sue seeing you with some other friends would probably make them more closer to you, because they'll prbably get the picture of how your feeling right now.

Q: I have this friend who never leaves me alone. We went on vacation together over the summer and her family is pretty awesome. Well anyways its months later and she doesn't get the idea i need space. I don't want to be mean and tell her off because that would seem like i'm a complete bitch and was using her to go on a vacation.
Most of my friends can't stand her and shes very full of herself and likes to point out flaws on me sometimes. It gets annoying, she never stops talking about the same thing over and over. Lately she hasn't stopped talking about drugs and getting high which has gotten on my nerves. I tell her to shut up and i don't care about that and it doesn't interest me. But she doesn't stop.
Recently she tried to set me up with this guy friend of hers whose in 8th grade and i'm in 11th and i dunno if i should take that offensively or not.
She has also been a bother with lunch and everyone wants me to make her leave our table because she wasn't there the first week of school and now there isn't enough space for the orignal ones of us who sat there. I recently found out she is bi, i am too but shes really clingy doesn't leave me alone and happens to be everywhere i am and like pays attention to every detail about me which gets kinda creepy. Anyways yeah i dunno what to do without seeming like a bitch or making a huge scene or loss of our friendship. Any ideas?

Well first idea of her, maybe she likes you, maybe she has gone through the same things she's putting you through or most obviously maybe shes jealous, because just becasue shes always outting you down on your flawa, makes that a visible flaw of hers, what you should do is be honest with her and tell her how you, feel, while doing that reflect your true feelings of it to her, this could cause her to open up to you and tell you why she acts the way she does. I hope it goes well. GOOD LUCK!

Q: k...... so, 1 of my friends asked this guy out 4 me, and he said, "i dont know" so then, a week later, my other friend asked him, and he said, "i dont know, maybe"
so, i looked maybe up in the dictionary, and it said possibly. i looked up possibly, and it said presicely, yes or no.
i asked his sister the next day, and she said that she thought it meant yes...... and i dont know what 2 do about this........
i wrote him a note that said, ""will you go out with me? circle, yes or no."" im giving it 2 him in 2 days.. is that a bad idea??? --HELP ME PLZ!!!!!--

Hands Down Honestly ITS A BAD IDEA! After having two other people ask for you, that should already be enough, writing the note would make you sound desperate and obsessed. Just wait for him to get back to you his self.

Q: There's a guy that I've liked for awhile... ever since like 7th grade actually, and I'm a junior now. Well, since we've been in high school, he and I have gotten closer, mostly because we're in the same group of friends now because his friend asked me out last year but we broke up after three months (it was a happy ending though :)) So I'm curious, would it be a bad thing for me to try and start something with the guy I like because he's so close with my ex?

This same thing happend with a friend of minez, but it wasnt her ex's friend it was his cousin! And he seemed to not have a problem with it. So if you feel absolutely confident with going with him, then go for it.

Q: So this is pathetic, I'm 17/F.

I just cannot find the right guy, or a guy at all. I have only a few guy friends, and I'm not even "close" with them anyways.

But I've never been in a real relationship ever, and I dont know whats wrong with me, I'm super out going, I talk to about anyone, I'm not shy... I meet tons of people, but none ever turn out to be more than friendship.

Arghh!

Maybe u should just wait for that someone to come to you, watch when you least expect it, or when your not even trying or thinking about having a boyfriend, somebody will show up, thats how it alwayz happens for me

Q: my girlfriend is comeing over in about an hour and she has a sore throat and she doesnt want to get me sick, but il do anythig for her to makeout again, that was the best night of my life. what can i do to convince her its ok to?

Well I dont think you can convince her to do something that could probably result in you getting sick from her, just wait until she's feeling better, because you dont want her to feel like you dont care about her feelings, and you only care about makeout sessionre about makeout sessions.

Q: 16/f

i'm normally an honest person but about recently i just got a new boyfriend. he's amazing and i could never wish for a better boyfriend. i want to keep him with me forever!! but i told him a lie and i regret doing it! and its a pretty big lie too. I told him that i finger myself but i really don't. I havent even worn a tampon yet! and i really really really really REALLY do not want to tell him that i don't finger myself because he will get mad that i lied and he told me that he really wants to finger me and if i tell him that i've never done it then it will all just crash and burn. we've been talking that when we are going to hang out again soon, that he wants to finger me but i'm not sure what to do. help!!! i don't know what to do!

Well, hands down no doubt about it, he'll eventually find out, so u should probably tell him. Because if you dont, then I'm sure he'll probably ask you why you keep putting it off

Q: Hi everyone! Well, I'm fourteen, and to pathetically sum it up, I've never dated, and/or gone on a date before. Alright, so I know the subject for my question (My Immature freind is bugging the CRAP outta me!!!!!) was really immature as well, but Any way, I have a freind named "Z". (Who's a boy by the way, this info is important later on in the story.) We really aren't all THAT close as me and some of my BFF's, but he's pretty high in rank. Well, I'm a christian, and I go to a youth group meeting every Thursday night and he goes too. A lot of the times, he brings one of my close friends "A" there with him as well, as they are friends too. Well, I had found out a few weeks ago that Z likes me from one of my best friends. Well, I will show up for youth group and of course, he minorly "flirts" with me. Like, laughing at jokes he normally wouldn't laugh at, making funny faces at me across the room, like the kind of kid flirting. That part I don't mind at all. Really, it's "A" that really gets me ticked off. She mostly comes to youth group because I'm there, so she folows me around all night. So, she's there when Z "flirts" with me. She does the "Awwwwww!" Or the kind of kindergarden taunting thing, "Z loves Rachel! Z loves Rachel!" It embarasses Z really badly, but he never denies it, or sometimes goes "So...?", or ignores her/ pretends not to hear. But the point is, I don't get why she can't just SHUT UP about it ya know? But, I always keep my negitive feelings hidden from friends, so I just go "A shut up!" jokingly. I don't get why she can't just leave me and him alone. It bugs me SOOO much I just wanna scream when shes near! It seems i've developed some sort of a twitch from that. xDDD But thats not all, she does. She teases me, literally, TEASES me and him about it. In front of the youth group too! This whole thing between me and Z is kind of new to us so we kind of want it on the down low. But A wont take a hint. I may be over reacting or something, but I want her o CUT IT OUT!! Please help! Thanks! :)

I think that your friend is just, trying to be supportive in pushing you and the boi together, because my friendz use to do that all the time, but I would just ignore them. If she is really bothering you to the point where you cant take it anymore, tell her how you feel

Q: okaaaay so theres this guy josh. hes my best frend n weve been going out for a few weeks. he talked about us having sex even before we were going out. i really love him and i have for a while cuz hes my best frend n i tell him everything. ive never really been comfrtable enuff around a guy to do anything past make out but i really wanna feel comfortable about having sex n giving blow jobs n stuff. do you know any ways to help with this? feeling more comfortable around guys? and also my boyfrend has an 11 inch dick n im a virgin. would that hurt really bad n wat wud it feel like? how long do i have to keep it in for while having sex? thanks for your advice!!!!!! i really appreciate it!!!!!

IDK wat to tell u but, to be honest if your hear asking for advice on that then your probably not ready for it, dont let him rush you into it. You'll know when your ready, when the answers that you just asked, come to you without someone else telling you.

Q: ok so heres the situation. when i was just a baby my mom and dad got a divorce and my dad quit comin around. so my grandparents pretty much raised me while my mom was workin her butt off all the time. i love my mom but my relationship with my grandparents is much much stronger. well i moved 14 hours away from them about ten years ago and now my grandpa is being put into a nursing home and its tearing my grandma apart. she also is in not so good shape, but she can sstill take care of herself. she's the main reason i wake up every morning. i love my grandma more then anyone in the world. so far she has no great grandchildren and i wanna be the first to give them to em. i want them to be able to atleast see one great grandchild before they (especially my gpa) passes. the problem is i'm only 18 and still in school. i'm with the guy of my dreams and we're planning on getting married. we've been together for 3 years and we really wanna start a family. we both wanna have a baby soon but i dont know if next month is too soon. see next june my boyfriend and i are both moving down there to live with my dad and go to college. so i'll be around my grandparents all the time. i'm just really scared that they might be a little disappointed because im still in school and not married. i dont know what to do!!!!! :(

I really think you should think that over, grandparents are always the onez that would rather see there grandchildren go to college and make something out of themselves before they start a family, they love you for it!

Q: I absolutely love my father, I really do, and he's a great dad and all but... I don't want to live with him any more. He's a slob, he's always moody and he uses his depression as an excuse. He also has a lot of debt and I'm sick of having his weights on my shoulders all the time, you know?

My brother has offered me that if I want to, I can rent a room of his house. I'm thinking of taking this up and possibly bringing a friend with me so it'd be less rent for me to pay 'cause we'd be splitting it. He's a reliable guy, too.

Does this seem like a bad idea? I'm 15 and a half, I'm paid $800 a month from my job, I plan on staying in school and my brother lives close to the school.

I'm just afraid my dad will get upset and stop talking to me.

This iz alot of hardship on a 15 year old, but Im 16 and just last year I wanted to move out because my mother would be a little moody, and things of that sort. But I decided to stay because I wanted to finish skool at my skool, and I wouldnt be able to do that, if I waz going to be in another state with some other family, but your brother lives near your skool, so I think you should first tell your father how you feel, and his reaction to it should determine what you should do

Q: I had a boyfriend not long ago and I still have feelings for him. we went out for 3 months and i just cant let him go. now and then i sort of tell him as a joke.. was i a good gf to see if he was still interested. the reason we broke up was because he IS a hit of a player but is soooo kind and loving! the perfect boyf. intelligent and handsome and taller than me. but his ex's are his best m8s and he has been out with most of my year group. and he told me that he has never felt this way about a girl before and that i was soo beautiful which i really disagrree. help me! i want him back but i dont want him to play around.

Hey its me again, but to answer your question, if he thinks that your obsessed, and you know your not. Then just look at it as his opinion
and dont take in to mind that you have to feel like that about yourself when you know your not obsessed

bio

Im 16, and I guess Im into advice columns. I like giving advice, because I like helping others, especially those who may have the same issues they need help on that I have. I'm always looking for advice websites, because, to be honest advice columns are fun! ;)So anyone feel free to ask me a question, and I'll try to get you on a clear road of a solution. Lol