duudee_advicer's advice column

Hey.
I went out with this guy for 18 months.
We were in this complete head over heals-gaga-can't live without you relationship.
He was the most amazing thing that ever happened to me.
Then I let him go over a misunderstanding. (His friend told me he "hooked up" with some one else, which was a lie)
And I still love him, and he still loves me.
I hurt him really badly.
He said I have to prove to him how much I love him.
So do you have any ideas of what I could do?
So far I only have two.
a) Make him a mixtape with a bunchh of love songs.
b) Show up on his doorstep w/ flowers, a card, and then take him out to eat or something.
Those are all I thought of.
I thought the more options the better.
So if you could help me out,
I would really appreciate it.
THANK YOU!

Hi there. :)
For a situation like this, I'd try something a little bit bigger then a mixtape and flowers.

Try a scavenger hunt type of thing;
Leave little pink hearts around his home/school/car/favorite hangouts with some
little, cute ryhming clue leading him to the next clue. Also on each one put one thing you like about him. (You can leave his favorite candies at each of the locations the card leads him to)
Make about 20 clues, so its a long journey.
Then at the end, whever the last clue leads
him to, you stand there. You could recite a short love poem, tell him you love him, or just kiss him.

Then tell him you're willing to work towards him earning your trust back; make sure he knows that.

And finally, concentrate on him.
Try not to flirt/be around too many other guys.
Take him out a few times; just be with him.
It will all come in good time.

Good Luck

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i really neeed your advice:

who do you pick? the person who first loved you? or the person you first loved?

Something as special as the person whom in which you love shouldn't be picked on a website from a bunch of strangers.

Also, in love you shouldn't sacrifice all of your feelings to accomidate someone else's. If you love someone, then stick with them. No use in you being miserable to make someone else happy.

However if the one you love doesn't love you back, you should think about how you treat the person that loves YOU. You don't want to be rude and mean to him then turn around and complain because the one that loves you was rude and mean to you.

Just something to think about.
Follow your heart, honestly.
Its love, it'll work out .. eventually.
Good Luck

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I love a guy.
We used to be very close friends
now im pretty sure he hates me or is mad at me.
I miss him terribly
and he has a girlfriend.
We had a sexual past
I could give details but that would leave this question rather long
I cant get over him,no matter how hard i try.
Any suggestions on what I should do?

ps. I sent a message to him the other day, and he didnt reply immediatly, but like 40 minutes later he said "hey" to me.
So do you think he thought about what my letter said?

Ah i need help ..so much help!

First off, if he hates you or is mad at you he probably wouldn't be saying Hey or muchless took time to read the letter.

Secondly, we do not know the situation as to why he might be mad at you or what your letter said, so its hard to say what he thought about it.

If you can't get over him it means there is some unfinished buisness between you two. Try talking to him, tell him you think alot about him, and you two need to clear somethings up. Sometimes a kiss can determine the future for a couple, if there are sparks love is still alive, if not, its time to move on. Just make sure you BOTH know what you want and why you want it. Communication is important. You better act now before its too late.

Good Luck

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what are chi straighteners?
13/f

Its a high-quality brand of hair straighteners/flat irons.

http://www.originalchi.com/

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Well this could go on forever, but I'll sum it up.
well in 9th grade i was friends with everyone. I really had no enimies and ppl would make fun of me (overweight) but it didnt bother me back then.
Now I'm in 10th grade and all my original friends just turned on me and started cracking on me and saying really brutal and hurtful comments about me. I wouldnt have mind if i came from the "bully" of the class but a lot of the jokes came from my friend for 5 years. They also shuned me and didnt want me to hang out with them.
I really dont know what to do, I go to very small school (17 students in the 10th grade) soo its kinda hard to get away from them. soo i would really like some one to give me some advice cause i really have no one else to turn to at this point : (
I'll rate really high I just really need some advice.

I was in your shose for quite sometime.
I had really crooked teeth, I mean REALLY. I couldn't get braces until I had teeth pulled and some gum surgery so I was stuck with teeth point straight forward, gaps, and "vampire teeth"
The teasing hurt, I had alot of friends at school, and they thought they were playing around, but they didn't know how much they hurt me. I have braces now, alot of them apologized, and the teasings stopped. I only hope the same for you because I know how badly it hurts.

Try staying as positive as you can.
Try loosing some weight to show them up!
Not only to impress them but to improve your health and enlongate your life!
Try starting out small, drinking more water, eating less junk food, eating more color, then getting more active. Small steps are the key!

If you're not willing to take those steps you need to learn how to stand on your own two feet.
You can join a club or team (Outside of your school) to create new friends to help along the journey. When in school, you can find another friend (if there is any other people to be friends with) or keep to yourself. Think of this as a time to work on your studies! Your grades can improve from your personal time and you can renew yourself.

Once you've worked up confidence, you can let teasing roll off your back.
Tell your 'friends' that what they have said is rude and you're not going to stick around to hear it. You just need to learn confidence, harsh comments are aimed towards easy targets.

Just stay positive.
Find some friends outside of school.
Keep your emotions out in the open (diary etc)
and just keep trying.

Good Luck

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I'm really popular at my school, probally the most popular girl in my school; but I don't like any of the jocks or popular guys at my school who like me. I like this one guy who is in a totally different group than the one I hang out with. He's not someone a bunch of girls like, and he's not really popular. He hangs out with the punks and rockers and people lke that, and I do dress punk, but I don't no how to talk to him. I don't have him in any of my classes and he doesn't know who I am. A couple of my friends know him, but my other friends would kill me if I became friends with him or went out with him. Which I can't because he has a girlfriend at the moment , but for now I just wanna get to know him. What shoild I do?

First off, people might give you the whole speech on labels shouldn't mean anything. But I get your point, the cliques and such are not going to change anytime soon so you might as well go along with them.

Try finding sometime to talk to him.
JUST him, you and him alone I mean that way
you won't have to worry about your friends just
yet. Find him in the hall, intro yourself, and ask him if you guys could meet in the library alone or whatnot to hit things off. Get to know him, see if he's worth the hassle. You don't want to dive in deep and cause a bunch of unecessary drama if he's not even what you're looking for.
Show him theres another side of you besides a stuck up popular girl, this way he'll want to get to know you more too.

Now, once you've talked to him and started flirting, work on your friends. Since you're the popular one, the school will accept your change, obviously if they worship you right?
But as for your close friends, let them know you're really into him and you'd appreciate if they took the time to get to know him since you have strong feelings for each other. "If they're your true friends, they'll understand" yeah thats not always the case, just remember BFF before BF okay?

Now now now, you don't want to have that "I'm popular I can get anything I want attitude" considering he's got a girlfriend. So for now, stick with being friends. Don't break them up, that'll lessen your chances of him wanting you and the school accepting your new boyfriend. Give it time, and if/when they break up, don't jump all on him at the first chance, you have to be patient. Just keep a smile on your face :)

Good Luck

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Whats the best treatment that works for acne?
I dont want anything that will make my skin peel because that happened once and it was horrible!
Also, what coverup works best and doesnt fade away?
Thanks alot! :]

First off, I DO NOT recommend AcneFree unless your face is excrusatingly oily.
When I asked a question like this once to help my acne I got several answers suggesting AcneFree system so I splurged and bought it. I soon regretted the purchase and my face dried out, peeled, and became very itchy and unberable.

I suggest a simple system that you keep up with EVERYDAY. Exfoliate, cleanse, tone.
Its that simple. I use Clean&Clear products to cure my acne and its amazing!
I use the C&C blackhead daily exfoliater [its not just for blackheads, but its tough enough to cure those too] Then I use C&C Daily facial wash to remove any excess make up. Finally I finish with C&C toner to seal up those pores.

Just do this everynight with whatever brand of product you prefer. In the morning simply splash your face with cold water to wake up and clean your face without aggrivating your pores from a deep scrub.

Good Luck

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i wear my hair the same way everyday - down and straightened. it's getting boring & i'd like to wear my hair differently. i like it scrunched but i'm always too tired in the morning to scrunch it. is there anyway i can shower at night and scrunch it before i go to bed without it getting frizzy and all messed up? thanks a bunch!

This works for me but I suggest trying this on a weekend just to make sure you love the look before using it at school. That way you don't wake up in the morning with a frizzy curl afro and no time to tame it! It works great for me, but all hair types are different, so just check to be safe.

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ok so this is sooo annoying...me and my bf *who we will call adam* have been goin out for about 2 months right? and everything is fine with us. but there is this girl *who is a freshman* and she's like, always around because...i dunno she just is. well i'll be kinda off and talkin with my best friend and i'll look over at "adam" and his best friend "jake" and that freshman is standing there looking at us, and as soon as we look over there, she starts trying to flirt with them both and then when she stops she glares at us. i'm thinkin *ok b***h, i'm already with "adam" and you're like 4 years younger than him, he's not interested so back off* and then when me and "adam" are holding hands or kiss or something she like, starts talkin to him about needing to do something like go to a concert or whatever and O MY GOSH it just makes me sooo mad!! she's not a threat to our relationship or anything, but i just wish i could find a way to get her to back off. this is also effecting my best friend because her and "adam's" best friend are hitting it off, and this stupid freshman makes it so that when she is around, they can't talk much. what do i do?

all of us are almost 18, and she's like...i dunno 14 or 15?

Making her mad or being rude to her will not help the situation. She'll just try harder the make you more mad.

I suggesting getting "Adam" to POLITLEY tell her he's got a girlfriend and quite frankly isn't interested.

It sounds to me alot like a big time pathetic crush, those pass quickly. Just wait it out if Adam isn't willing to talk to her about it.

Good Luck

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Theres this girl in my school, & shes like amazing. She has alot of confidence in herself & everything. But, shes not stuck up. Shes really nice to everyone. And shes like just every girl would wanna be like, i'm not over exaggerating at all. You never see her embarressed, or shy or anything.

How do I become more confident in who I am?

The key to confidence is finding the positives about yourself and stop comparing yourself to others. Blah blah blah, I believe you've heard it before.

-You could do the classic look in a mirror and say five good things about yourself each night.
-You could write things down that you did that day that your happy or proud about.
-You could go out get a haircut, a manicure, by a new shirt and try to freshen things up.
[Treating yourself to little things can make a big difference.]
-Try wearing your hair in a new style. [Changing things up brings in complements which also greatly help with a girl's self esteem]

Then, try to work on your personality.
If you've got a nasty comment, keep it to yourself! Never say anything bad about anyone unless its to a person such as your mom that you are 100% sure will never tell. You don't need some rumor flying around that you might of started.

Try looking at the positives of life and HONESTLY complementing 10 people a day. Activley listen to other people and discourse with them. Once they see that you're paying attention they'll be more interested in paying attention to you and you'll make many many more friends this way.

Also, try to be friends with EVERYONE.
I'm not saying change to be like people.
I'm saying just cause someones a nerd, don't alienate them. You don't have to call them up and schedual a sleepover, but if they ask you a question a polite answer is suitable (not a rolling of the eyes)

Just stay happy.
Keep smiling.
Have fun.

Good Luck

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hi i nee a gift for my bf and i dont know any thing to gethimso if think one them write me please

thankxxx

First off, not to be rude in any way, but before you asked this question you probably should of searched thru the other questions as this very same question has been asked dozens of times in the past week.

On the other hand though,
-Try getting him a sweatshirt with his favorite sports team on it, or even a hat.
-You could purchase a CD from his favorite band, burn a CD for him
-Make a scrapbook for him depending how long you two have been dating
-Buy him a big bag of his favorite candy
-Make one of those posters using candy bar wrappers to write a message to him
-A framed picture of the both of you
-Gift certificate
-Take him to see a movie he's been wanting to see (your treat, so you pay)
-Leave him little notes around his house giving him clues to where to find his present then where ever you say to look you stand there holding a gift for him (you can kiss him now to enhance the moment)

The possibilities are endless, just be creative!
Good Luck

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For some reason I get SO MAD when a friend of mine gets pregnant. Like I had so many friends who ended up getting pregnant, but before that they always talked about being abstinent, and not anything like that and before I know it they're having babies.. I can't stand it at all. I do not know why it bothers me so much. I support them and help them out, but there's just something that angers me about them getting pregnant. Can someone please explain to me why or how I feel this way, and how I can get over this emotion?

You may have stronger morals and beliefs about sex and pregnancies then they do; this might anger you that they do not act the way you believe people should act. I know I've felt this way before on many various topics.

Its okay to be angry. To you its probably very disturbing that they're disrupting their lives with this mistake and that they did not care enough about themselves and take time to think about the possible outcomes. You just have to take time to realize that not everyone thinks in the same way as you do. This may be hard.

Try expressing your anger about this topic in some other form, writing perhaps.
It'll just take time to get over your anger.

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I'm kind of confused about the whole eyebrow plucking thing. I've been plucking my eyebros for several years, in an arch shape.

The advice I've read about this is that you always pluck the bottom of the eyebrow and never the top...but I have lots of random hairs at the top of my eyebrows and they always look messy because of this.

So is the advice about not plucking from the top correct and if so, why should you not pluck from the top?

I once asked this question because I to was confused on this; the answers I recieved were because you look some of the little hairs that make up your eyebrows when you get older.

I pluck the random ones on top that may stray away from the rest but I try not to shape them too much up there.

If you too worried about this I suggest going to get your eyebrows waxed; the pros can fill you in on any of your questions and show you how to properly take care of your brows.

Good Luck

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i was wondering does anyone know how much hair (i mean the hair on your head) growes every day?

Your hair grows appx. 1/2 inch every month.
So its a very small amount each day.

Good Luck

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if i weigh about 120 pounds now, and i'm a size 5, but if i want to get into a size 2, how much weight do u think i'd have to lose? please and thankyou =)

First off, size 7 is juniors, size 2 is womans.
A womans size two is about the juniors size 1.

I wore a size 1 when I weighed about 105-110, it really depends on body structure. You could weigh 130 and just have alot of arm muscle and still fill a woman's size 2 jeans.

Just stick with drinking water. Cut out alot of extra junk food and get active.
Everyone's body structure is different, if you're more of a built person just tone up that extra fat and accept the fact that you're not a tiny thin girl.

Good Luck

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when i plug my digital camera into my computer witht he usb, nothing pops up for me to get the pictures off the computer. this has never happened its usually pops right up. can someone please tell me how to fix this.
thank you

This happens to me sometimes; try restarting your computer then replugging the cord in, always works for me.

Good Luck

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yesterday morning when i woke up there were 2 pimples next to the right side of my mouth. i thought nothing of it because i thought they were gonna go away in the next 2 days maybe. well today when i got up there was ANOTHER pimple right above the other 2! i washed my face this morning with this blue Clerasil(sp) stuff that is my moms, but it didn't seem to go away. i need these pimples to go away by monday. please don't say proactiv or cover it up with makeup. i just need a quick cheap way to get these pimples off. (BTW- i wash my face 2 times a day with dove facial soap in the morning when i wake up and at night when i go to sleep) Thank you sooo much!!

Just a thought; Are they whiteheads?
Because I get things that look like whiteheads
next to my mouth every once in a while and they're actually a type of cold sore. Cold sores spread very quickly which might be why another one popped up. Carmex will clear them up in a day, I promise.

If you're positive they are not cold sores, take a clean needle (or sewing pin) prick the top and squeeze the pimple. Put some Acne Spot treatment on it or keep dabbing a Stridex pad on it to dry it out. Good Luck!

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Random and I'm sorry. Your name is really cute, but how would you pronounce it. Haha, stupid I know, but I really can't figure it out :]

Kymmy?
lol
KIM (like Him) E.
Kymmy.
or Kimmie.
If that helps.

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I want to dye my hair blonde. Right now, I'm a brunette, and I am SOO scared that I won't like it!!
I was wondering --> If I dye it blonde, and I don't like it, can I just ask the hair dressers to dye it back, or would I have to pay more?

*Sighs* That other columnist makes me laugh.
Okay well, I'm a blonde; so thanks for that ..

On a happier note.
If you get your hair done professionally, they might be able to complete the task without an orange blob as your result.

However, my friends that dyed their hair by themselves have had some pretty bad results; two got orange hair and three got grayish looking hair, not good.

My suggestion, try some highlights.
This will lighten up your hair without screwing it up.

If you are not happy with the results, some salons will dye your hair back free of cost. On the other hand, some salons will charge, it depends.

Good Luck

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