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March 14, 2004Answers:
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What's up? Well, I'm sure like each and every other advice columnist is that, we all enjoy giving advice . I like to keep things real and you'll find out how real when you ask me a question . I absolutely love helping people . Hollah at me sometimes !!! Oh, and yahoo me . Goodness sakes knows that I could do with the mail.
advice
me and my boyfriend want to have sex.. but we want to have it somewhere where there wont be any parents. we aren't old enough to rent a hotel room.. have our own car.. etc. any ideas?
Could you leave a response when you rate please . Well, um, go to a place that's romantic for you and your guy . A place that's tranquil , calming, and comftorable for the both of you . I've never done anything like that before though . Like a lake that you know people don't visit but it's comftorable . A not so well known place that's desserted . A place which people won't expect .
Okay this may sound really dumb or something but it really needs to be answerd cause i really need the help.My friend had wanted to kill herself and then her mom had put her into a center to get the help that she needs(good for her!!).But the problem is that she is on drugs and she drinks a lot and she is only 12 or 13 years old.Well i tries to kill myself a few weeks ago and now i'm fine but my question is that should i be her friend still and hang out with her even though that she wanted to do something that i tried?Cause my fear is that she will want me to think of doing that again?Plzz help.
Thanks again
XxshortyxX
You're going to have to work on that issue which you are having with yourself about wanting to commit suicide if you want to be fully strong . Yes, be there for her and support her because everyone needs someone to be there for them . You have to be strong for you first and you have to work on that issue about wanting to kill yourself . So do what you have to do, or what you want to do for your friend . She needs someone there for her and you can be that someone for her . Don't give up on her .Help her . She will need you .
ok, my exboyfriend was telling all his buddies that we were having sex and begging them for condoms. and then they all started thinking i was a whore or something. and somehow the rumor changed to me having sex with five other guys. and i haven't even had sex with one guy. how do i change my reputation back, or ruin his too?
Well , this guy was total reckless with your reputation so you could be reckless with his and you can also be reckless in your actions . Maybe you can get around a popular enough group and yell at him :
" I never slept with you or anyone of your friends and I never will . I've never had sex with anyone and you're just some sick little freak who enjoys making people think that he's actually getting some . You are feces and you aren't worth, and never will be worth, giving anything up to . So you and your pals can get over yourselves . "
Oh and if you want to get deep in the core, you can say " akin' your friends for a condom . As if IT'S big enough for you to put on . Probably bigger than the whole thing . Grow some ." I know it's harsh but he was reckless . BUT THE QUESTION IS, DO THEIR (MEANING OTHER PEOPLE'S) PERCEPTION OF YOUR REPUTATION REALLY AND TRULY CONCERN YOU ? Think about it .
i appologize now for this being long...but i just really need some advice!
ima 14 female freshman...
it starts off in 7th grade, me and this guy got 2 gether..we dated for a year. broke up in 8th grade..he messed with sum 7th graders. we were supposed 2 get back 2gther, but he ended up switchin schools. during the summer after 8th grade, we kept in touch..talked on the phone, chilled @ the movies and all that...and yes we were frends wit benefits!!...freshman year started we didnt talk so much, thats wen i met this guy..we dated 4 2 months, and juss a few weeks ago i broke up with him..once my ex boi found owt i was single again..we started talking...(and b4 i broke up wit my boi he told me he would b waiting 4 me!)...so it was true he was waitin 4 me!...we been talkin alot latly! im guessing we do go owt..its juss i dont know if i can trust hiM!..i know how he is..im just scared ima get hurt again!..bkuz he sorta did mess roun wit others back in 7th grade!
Recognize the risk you're taking with your heart, recognize that you're scared, recognize that you're afraid of him messing around as he did in the 7th grade . Recognize these issues within and deal with them . There will ALWAYS be a risk at getting hurt when you're dealing with a guy in a relationship, and there will be apart of you that'll be scared because it's so NATURAL. You have to recognize and prepare yourself for the fact that he did cheat on you in the 7th grade, so if it does happen you'll be ready . HE'S GROWN AS AN INDIVIDUAL AS WELL AND MAYBE , JUST MAYBE, HE WON'T CHEAT ON YOU . I MEAN HE DID WAIT ON YOU. TAKE A RISK, HONEY . THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT AND IT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE LOVE . IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE . GIVE HIM A CHANCE AND IF HE SCREWS IT UP, THEN IT'S HIS LOSS AND MOVE ON . IT WON'T BE EASY, BUT RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T EASY AND NOT LOVE . SO DEAL WITH YOUR ISSUES AND GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY .DON'T BE AFRAID TO RISK LOVE . IT'S SO ...WORTH IT .
I have a problem: some part of me wants my older sister's approval so much, yet I am nothing like her. She is a good and decent person, if not a little conservative and practical. She is a good role model, but I am not her. I am intellectual, studious and questioning. When I ask her the big questions, she thinks I make a big deal out of little things. But I think she never asks herself the big questions in life or is afraid to.
Why do I want her approval so much? She is a good person and I love her, but why don't I have the fortitude to be my own person?
It's alright to want our sister's approval , but you have to recognize when to accept it . It's your life and it's up to you to decide things, but just because you ask for her approval doesn't make you want to be like your sister . Remember to recognize. Remember your differences and accept them . They are apart of you and they make you who you are, as your sister's differences define who she is. It's so natural that you want her approval for things because she's the big sister ;maybe you admire the fact about her that
she never asks herself the big questions in life . Maybe you do because you're confused and truly don't know why she does it . I do think you have the fortitude to be your own person . Your qualities are intellectual, studious and you question(which is a great thing.). To recognize those qualities within yourself prove that you do have the fortitude to be yourself . You are your own person you just don't truly recognize it within yourself .
Well i like 3 guys and they all like me back and i am friends with them all. Well also they are all sweet but guy #1 will say he loves me and then stare at other guys my friends don't like him.he is not affection Guy #2 is in 9th grade he is so funny and nice he has also called me once and we talked for 2 hours but her likes another girl in 11th grade.And we dated once and kissed on the lips once and held hands and he ALWAYS flirts with me and waits for me by my next class and i know he still likes me and he said he will go with me too the 8th grade dance thing. Then there is Guy #3 he is in 12th grade which is so sweet and nice and he says he loves me and gave me a hersey kiss because he cannot give me a real one. my friends don't like him and he also like other girls after he says that. he and guy #2 are frineds and he wait for me too. So what guy so i date or wait for or should i forget them all? i am so confused. PLEASE HELP
Cancel guy #1 and #3 cause they like other girls,unless you are like that and like that, and they look at them . Get to know them much, and although waiting is very affectionate it can also be considered as a way of flattery to win over a person . You really need to get to know them some more . Then you should know that lookin' is alright as long as they don't touch . If they do, then I wouldn't pay them any attention no matter what. Guy #2 seems as if there's good qualities . Take him because he seems a lot better than the other guys . I may need more info . Thanx and by .
ok, i like this guy named bob. bob and i went out before but broke up. then theres collin, i went out with collin for a few weeks and then we decided that because my grades were suffering poorly and i was grounded for a very very long period of time that we would break up, plus we never got to see esch other. then the third guy, josh is very sweet but i don't like him. the reason i can't learn to like him is because he likes a different girl every week or two and he'll soon brag about going out with me if i say yes because everyone knows what kind of guy he is and doesnt want to go out with him. i know this isnt right but also, he is shorter than i am and considering im very short, i dont like that. i cant stand it! my question is: do i try to go for bobby again? since he's the one i like the most and miss him. do i go with collin again? i know he cares for me alot and would stay with me for a long time. or should i bite the bullet and go out with josh even though he is shorter than i am. ? please help me!
Forget Josh because it seems as if he's using you. Try Bobby again and tell him how you really feel . Then if that doesn't work, try Collin again because you never got that much time with him . Give it another try . Good luck .
okay, so me and my boyfriend of about 5 months got in a huge fight at homecoming a few months ago and the next day we broke up. during homecoming, i was really upset, and one of his friends was telling me everything was gonna be alright, and he kept hugging me. well after me and my boyfriend broke up, me and his friend sort of became friends with benefits, but then he broke it off when his old girlfriend wanted him back. i was really devestated, cause i had been in a really vulnerable state. then about two weeks later they broke up again, and we started hanging out again. i know its not right but i cant help myself. what should i do?
You should really get a grip on yourself, sorry no offense to you, and try to take some time to gather your wits about you . Think about it and how it makes you appear to people .It's alright to talk to him, but the making out part . You've got to be in control of this . Try with all your might and let it be your will . If this'll help you , think of your virtue and your pride which may be tarnished . Little events can lead to so much bigger events causing you to feel a certain way . So , do what you can and hope I was some help. Peace and good luck . Remember. Control .
me and my best friend (hes a guy) went out b4...but now we are best friends. but i think i still like him...but im not sure. and i dont think he likes me but it always seems like hes flirting w/ me but it could be cuz we r friends...im confused please help.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel, and ask him how'd he'd feel about starting all over again with a new relationship . Air all of the issues out, if there are anything, and hold nothing back. Accept the fact that that he may not want to reform the relationship and don't take offense to this . Be there for him, unless he was a total snob about it . Talk to him about it and it should work out fine . No matter in what way order of events occur .
oKaY, i have this problem where i get white dry spots on my skin especially during the summer when i tan. In the winter they fade. They started appearing two years ago, when i was in the sun all day during the summer! They are really annoying, it seems like theyr dry spots. I believe it might be because I'm not moisturizing enough or whatever. What can i do to make them go away?? i asked my doctor and she just said to use a moisturizer and not to tan (she didnt help AT ALL)..even if i spray tan or w/e they still appear and they look really gross!!!hElp!!!
Skin needs moisture along with vitamins and stay out of the sun dealing only with long periods of times . Also try using alchohol(the rubbing alchohol that relieves and burns when first made contact with your skin) and that'll help ALOT. I've helped some people in tight spots usin' alchohol and you'll see and improvement. Hope I was some help and peace .
Someone told me that dieting wont help you lose weight. IF i eat a salad for lunch everyday, will i lose weight? OR do i have to do other stuff too?
Yes, but it won't have much of an effect if you don't exercise and cut back on your calories . Well by.
Today at lunch my boyfriend of three and a half months broke up with me. I was very upset and cried for the rest of lunch, when I came home I sat around crying. Then, my friends came round and we all went to my other friend's house. I soon cheered up and realised that I was better off without him. Later on, most people left and we went to my house. After everyone had gone home, it was just me and one of my best friends (male.) He said he had to go home so we hugged and then he asked if I was okay. I told him I was and then he said: "Anything I do in the next minute is a mistake and doesn't mean I fancy you." Then we started making out. I don't understand, I know it was a total mistake but things are going to be really strange now. I have no idea whatsoever why I did it. What should I do? He's my best friend.
Well you probably did it to lose yourself in him to forget your loss of your boyfriend and you're so right . Things are going to be awkward, but why should it be that way? He said what he'd do would be a mistake and that it doesn't mean he fancies you, meaning that it means nothing at all, so why let it phase you . Talk to him about it and agree to something with reasonable reasons "that it" just wasn't nothing and tell him that you don't want what happened to affect your friendship with him . Do that and you should be fine ."That it" would be the make-out session between the two of you .
Ok, my best friend is a guy. I heard from my friend that he has a girlfriend, but he told me he doesn't. I don't know who to believe, and I really wanna believe the guy because I really like him. Let's call him...*Jake* and let's call the girl...*Mary*. So Mary, Jake, and I are all best friends. Mary has been lying to me a lot lately. She's also been trying to steal my guys. Jake and I hang out all the time, and he and I always tell each other "I love you Jake!" and "I love you...*Anne*!" but we both know we're joking. And we're like "wow, you're so hot tonight" and all these random things as if we were going out, but we're not. He and I constantly flirt. When my friends ask him why they won't ask me out (i don't ask them to do this!!) he says he and I are just like the bestbestbestbestbestbest friends in the universe. I know that's true, (the best... friends part) but I don't know how to get it out of him whether he really does like me or not. What should I do? We have all these inside jokes about "loving each other" and "last night was great" (like i said...inside joke...i've never done it or anything) and all these other things. We always give each other hugs and sit on each others laps and I really want to be an item. We will go to the same school next year, but we don't now. WHAT SHOULD I DO????? Please help I rate! And sorry about the length.
signed
confused best friend!!
Don't appologize for the length'cause it's very helpful . You need to talk to him about your feelings and let him know how you feel about the jokes . It sounds to me as if the jokes are starting to confuse you and you really like him but these jokes you're wondering if they're how he really feels . Well you have to ask him how he feels to find out the truth . So do it and let him know that regardless how you feel, that you'll be there for him when he needs you . That's what friends do, and stay loyal to him if he doesn't because that's what friends do . You won't regret it at all . Hope I was some help and have a nice day .
Okay so here's the deal. There is this guy at school who i have liked for a little while..So today i talked to him for the first time in a while and he was pretty quiet and so was I. He told a friend of mine he would ask me out if he got to know me better. My first question is..since we are both pretty shy is there a chance of this happening, secondly what could I talk to him about because i get nervous..thanks :-)
Try to talk to him about things that you both can relate to . Something that you both like or something that you'd like to find out about him . Try asking him about his issues/viewpoints on matters , if you want to find more out about his opinions . Try arranging dates and find your inner comfort when you're around him . Try being content with yourself when you're around him . Get to know each other better by going out on dates, conversing over the phone, talking during school lunch, or other activities that'll cause you and him to get to know each other better .
Me and my boyfriend of a year had sex not too long ago, and we didn't use protection. He said he didn't cum or even pre-cum but I don't think he is a hundred percent sure. Is there a possibility I could be pregnant? What are the signs of being pregnant? I really don't want to be pregnant I am only thirteen! Where are good places to get protection. Oh, and we didn't have sex for long! It only last a minute because we were really worried!
Don't worry too much because you weren't involved in intecourse too long...at all . You can take a pregnancy test or you could go to the doctors office or clinic and get the 24HOUR PILL , but you'd have to had sex between a twenty four hour period . And don't try taking birth control right now because it could cause a birth defect in the child, that's if you're pregnant . You really have to wait it all out and I hope I was some help. I wouldn't worry that much at all .
How mych money do u get paid for babysitting a couple of littel kids for about 3-5 hours?
Up to five dollars per hour and I'd do it for each child if I were you . 3-5 $ per hour for each kid .
im a guy and if a really close friend of yours, who happens to be female, is joking and messing around with you one day and one thing leads to another and you kiss....what do you do? shes really, really attractive. however...she has a bf. whom she does NOT like at all. and shes shown me that shes willing to kinda cheat in the past. shes a really great girl, inside and out and i think the world of her. and shes stabbed me in the back before plus her friends hate me cuz of a story she twisted around a lot. and, when we're alone she can barely keep her hands off me. what do i do?
Tell her how you feel, ask her how she feels and what she wants, and get with her . Talk ....
hey um this is kind of awkward, but i'm 14 going on 15 in a couple of months, and i belive i have met "the one" i've know him sience i was 2 1/2 and he wants to um finger me, and i am totally comfortable with it, but my parents arn't. should i do it behing my parents back, or listen to my parents and not do it at all, but my mom is the one whos conserned my dad doesn't care. i've haven't talked to them about it they kinda listen in my phone conversations with one of my good friends, have you ever got fingered or done it to someone? if not then how old were you when you did it, please.... im so CONFUSED! i'll rate!
If you're really content on it then do it .But have you considered anything that may make you feel a little .....um awkward .If you're confused then I really don't think you should do it, and it's you doing this not you're parents . Talk to them . Take some time and ask yourself . How would being fingered be some guy bring you anything ? What would it achieve ? What would I get out of it ? But if it's what you want, I guess go 4 it .
ok so i have this friend... say "brittany" and she is very depressed and every litle thing makes her feel lke.. idk sad? depressed? emo? idk but its creeping me out.. i knwo we all go through this but she has it worse then most of my buddies... is there anything i can do to help her? ps.. ive already talked to her about it and that seems to help a little but not as much as i want to help her...
thanx!!!! 13/f
Just let her know that when she's in need to talk or whenever she needs someone to talk to , that she has you . Let her know that you'll be there for her no matter what . That's basically all you can do . Hope I was some help and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR .
i have a best friend [a guy] his name is chris. Well chris goes out with my EX bestfriend taylor. they are TOALLY different hes the skater type and shes the preppy bitch. i love chris with all my heart and i dont wanna him going out with this low life. taylor is already cheating on him and im sick of it. i told him but he doesnt care. and i really love him alot [ as a best friend] i mean i would think that he would listen to me but he doesnt and that makes me so mad because we are suppost to be best friends.. what do i do?
Tell him how you really and truly feel which you've already done . Then after that, sometimes you really have to watch your friends do some of the most idiotic things ever . Meaning going out with this girl . If she's such a bitch,and he wants to go out with her, then support him . Be there for him . If she's such a bitch, then don't ruin your friendship over her because bitches aren't worth that . You should really tell him that you're inferiorated at his total disregard of your feelings and that you'd hope that in the future he'd consider them more wisely . Also make it known that you're there for him, even though you don't like the situation . Good luck and MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR .