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Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
i am 13 years old and i weigh 86 lbs is that over weight or under?
It would depend on how tall you are, if anything though you are probably under weight.
Okay..
So all my life ive wanted to help people..
and ive always ad like 234320498 million things ive wanted to be.. but i coculd never choice.. I now know exacly what i want to be and i have a few questions..
Whats the carrer called when you like help people like if they need to relearn to walk or use their hands.. ect.
How long do you go to school?
How much money do yo umamke ((least and mmost ammount.)
&& what are some other info on the carrer?
pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee help!
Physical Therapy is one of the things that you can do you can also become an occupational therapist which deals with alot of ADL skills, or daily living skills like walking, cooking, self care, mobility etc.. Depending if you work for an insurance company, a hospital or privatly would depend on how much you make lowest you would make would be approx. 45000 any where up to 70,000 approx. You need a minimum or a masters degree to make "real" money which is around 6 years.
There is also the field of kinesiology (sp?) which deals with motion and how the body moves. It would also depend if you want to work with a specific age e.g. kids, elderly or anyone. On if you wanted a more specific education.
I would either talk to a guidance counsellor if you are still in high school or call the univerisity closest to your house and ask an academic advisor to steer you in the right direction for you, and they will also be able to tell you things like what kind of marks you need, for example if you want physical therapy you have to have really good marks in biology, math and science also if you would need to take AP classes.
If you are interested in other "helping professions" let me know as that is what I do and have been doing for 12 years.
Hope this helped.
Sara
My friend has a cousin who is to rough on me and I don't know how to tell him that I don't want to hang around his cousin she is way to rough on me and forces him to join in with it and I dont know what to do can any of you help me.
Ari a new adviceanator.
I would very clearly tell your cousin that you don't like their friend and why. If you are not comfortable doing that then ask your cousin who is going to be there when you hang out, and decline to hang if that person will be there.
If it doesn't stop then tell either a parent or your aunt or uncle.
Hope this helped.
My brother and sister are constantly mean to me and are always calling me names. My mom is always picking at me, and screaming at me for the littlest things i do wrong or don't do like she wanted me to. I have no way to vent out my anger other than taking it out on my friends. I recognize that i do that, and i apologize to my friends, but im afraid one day my friends will leave me. They don't understand what i have been through. My parents don't abuse me, but they are constantly yelling. I have thought about suicide, but i know that if i did it, my family would be devastated. i haven't attempted it yet. I can't tell my mom and dad what my brother and sister do to me, because they always make up an excuse or say "I didn't do that, why would i do that" and mty mom always believes them. I don't know who i can talk to.
Please help me......im desprete
Hey, First of all jon's venting suggestions are great and so is tosh13's idea of a tape recorder. As for not being abused you are being emotionally and verbally abused and this type of abuse while is sometimes harder to see has long term effects on your self esteem and on your ability to have relationships with people. By taping your family you will be able to show them that you are in fact being treated unfairly, if the situation doesn't change I really would recommend that you talk to another adult that you trust, let someone now how you are feeling.
If you ever need to vent and just let out all that you are feeling, please feel free to send me a message here I will gladly listen anytime.
Sara
If you don't eat anything (except maybe a few grapes or something) but only drink like, sodas, would you gain weight or lose weight?
I've always wondered this, and I asked my health teacher, and he didn't know. I know its not health, lol, I'm not planning no doing it, I've just always been curious.
It would depend on what you were eating before you started this eating plan on whether or not you lost or gained. If you ate really really bad like junk all the time and almost no healthy food you would probably lose weight at first, but only drinking soda would rot out your insides and probably cause serious health issues.
Hope this helped.
recently i learned how completly nieve ive been. it turns out like a ton of people at my school cut themselves and i didn't notice at all. these are people im rwally close to...one's my best friend but you don't know her so as i promised i probably dont have to kill myself for telling you. you know i dont want her to hurt herself and what hurts me even more is that she says its the only thing that makes her happy. when i think about it i dont feel like im thinking a bout the same bff ive had since 1st grade and i just want her to stop. shes trying but im afriad if she doesn't have a theat it wont work. i dont want to tell an adult(well canr really) and i dont want her to be unhappy...but i DONT WANT HER TO KEEP DOING IT! How can i tell her to stop? and this doesn't mean shes like a masochist does it?
First off cutting is an addiction and she may not be able to stop. You need to talk to an adult and make sure she gets help.
As for what gatekeeper or Jon said, Manic Depression has NOTHING to do with cutting. Manic depression is when you have extreme highs and lows it is also called bi-polar disorder and is an extremely serious diagnosis.
Clinical Depression could be one of the reasons behind your friend cutting but she needs professional help to diagnose this and get her treatment. By telling you are not hurting your friend or being a bad friend you could be saving her life so even if she gets mad she will realize that your actions show how much you truly care.
Hope this helps
ok...this is stupid but i'm becoming anorexic. i know it too and i don't seem to care i think it's because i've gained a few pounds i used to feel sooo comfortable like in clothes now i just want to wear baggy clothes because i think i look fat. Last night my mom said she's gonna bring me to and Eating Disorder place if i don't stop worrying about my weight all the time. I don't know what to do, because it's working i'm 5'8 and down to 125 i was 128 but i just wish i could stop worrying about my weight all the time and just have fun you know.
The fact that you realize that you might have a problem is a good start. You need to start eating by not eating you are teaching your body to store fat because it doesn't know when you are going to be eating again.
To stop focusing on your weight so much why not make a deal with your mom that if you can go a certain number of weeks without worrying all the time then you can earn something you really want, and if you do worry continuously then you will go to the eating disorder clinic with no complaint. Sounds silly I know but it just may work it doesn't hurt to try!
Also weighing 125 is normal for your height, and you are probably just going through a growth spurt which is why your clothes fit differently.
Hope this helped.
basically, my legs feel like they've been attacked my thousands of mosquitos, ontop of them being as dry as a desert in the middle of the summer.
Whenever I shave, it's worse (duh). I've tried different razors. I've tried that razor with the moisture bar around it(didn't work). So far Venus Razors work the best.
I've tried about 30 different "ANTI-ITCH MOISTUIZERS" for my legs, and my legs just absorb it like a sponge and itch worse. I've also tried medical anti-itch creame... it helps by replacing the 'itch' with a 'burn'
So I actually have a couple questions
I was at the store and saw a Veet for dry skin. So I was wondering if Nair, or Veet dries out your skin?
Any lotions, shower gels, or anything that might help?
Maybe some voodoo spell you can put on me to make my itch legs go away with no side effects? :)
please and thankya
Veet and Nair do tend to dry out your skin, although the ones with aloe are better then the regular ones.
For itching the best bet if you are at home use calamine lotion, its pinky in colour but works like a charm. It's whats used for chiken pox so it really does work. If you are going out and the colour just doesn't match your outfit (ha ha)then afterbite works well, you can by it in most drugstores and it works like a pen where you dab each bite but its colourless. I don't know how old you are but benedryl in pill form does work on itches you might want to also want to try benedryl cream.
Hope this helped.
Doctors recommend it but yet and still so many Americans turn they nose up at! Why do you think so?
I think that in this fast paced world we embrace so many traditions that save time that we sometimes forget the benefits of the old fasioned way. I also think that some people are just not educated enough as to the benefits and think its more about a woman exposing themselves then a woman nurishing her child.
By breast feeding my child I am currently ensuring that she is protected against viruses and that she is recieving the absolute best start that I can give her. This is not to say that people who chose not to breast feed are depriving their children its a very personal choice. I think that it also depends where you live I am not sure about the States but here in Canada as a new mother the government allows me to take a full year off (they pay me 80% of my salary) so it's easier for me then for someone who has to return to work a month later.
Hope this helps.
Alright lately i just have been crying and crying and im not really sure why. i havent been hanging out with friends and i dont even want to. i feel like i have no one to talk to or to trust and i dont even really want to talk to anyone about it. i hurt myself a few times but my mom and sister saw it and made me promise never to do it again. now my mom is making me go to the doctors and i really dont want to. i dont know what to expect and im scared. because i dont really know what to say beacuse there gonna ask my what happend and nothing really happend.. it just kinda started you know.. do you think i have depression? i dotn know im confused, frusterated and lonely and i just want to hear anyones opinions on what to do or expect.. thank you
Ok oyu may be depressed but the cutting or self harm is a different issue. Self harm releases endorphins and allows you to feel better for a short period of time. I think the reason your mom is so worried is because self harm can actually turn into an addiction. Going to the doctor will help you, but you need to be open and honest with him/her.
Keep in mind that as long as you are over 14 the doctor cannot repeat what you tell him as long as you are not at risk.
Your Mom is really awesome to be taking action now, it is obvious she loves you alot. You will also feel alot better once you talk to a professional.
Good luck, Hope this helped.
I'm not trying to offend anyone,
there are a lot of stories about fairies, and there are a lot of stories about God.
We don't have proof that fairies or God exists...yet so many people are convinced God does, while fairies or something of the sort are classified as just things in story books.
I'm not trying to get attention or anything, but I kind of don't get it.
So, just wondering...do you have an answer?
Ok, so only you can decide whether God exists or not. Also there are many different versions of God depending on what religion you chose to follow. What I would suggest you do is maybe visit different types of churches and religous sanctuaries to see what is right for you, if there is a belief that you want to follow.
One of my favorite quotes is: "Religion is for those who are afraid to go to hell, Spirituality is for those who have been there". In other words Religion is the stuff created by man, Spirituality is a pure belief a relationship between you and your higher power or God.
Your Question is one that people have fought wars over (take the middle east for example) it is a very valid question but only you can decide on whether God is real. Millions of people do not believe in God, Millions of people do there is no right or wrong answer it is simply a matter of faith.
Hope this helped, let me know if you have any other questions I can help you with.
P.S.
I lived in Ireland for a few years and I have visited where it is believed that the fairies live, it is an awe inspiring experience. I wouldn't be so sure that they don't exist! Ask an Irishman!! :)
In this diet I am going on it says to eat two 3 counce protein servings. What would be some good protein servings foods? Also it says to to do two-three sets of each type of crunch (they give you a list of crunches) but only do as many reps in a row that you can do properly. Whats a set? explain this to me!
Good protein is usually meat, fish, peanut butter (although pb is high in fat), Fish is really good for you and for dieting. Beef and Chicken when not fried but broiled is good for you too.
As for sets and reps: a set is a group of usually 5 or 10 reps (individual crunches).
Hope this explains it a little more clearly, let me know if you have any more questions.
i have like a reddish brown hair, and i want to dye it brown with maybe caramel highlights .. not to dark brown or too light .. and im getting it professionally done .. when will it be time to dye it agian? will it last long?
I get my hair professionally done and have for over 15 years ( I was like Taylor Hicks at 16). I usually get it done every 2-3 months. The growing out is not usually my problem, depending on the colour here is the rundown of what happens to your hair when you dye:
Reds: Fade
Blondes: go brassy
Browns: tend to remain the same
Just keep on top of your hair and you'll be fine.
I do not like shaving, and am looking for an alternate solution. Do the "Nair" products work, and if so, which ones?
When I was young they sucked now adays I use the veet in shower one and I don't need to shave my legs at all. I find that it also lasts longer then shaving.
As for shaving other 'parts' I only use waxing for my eyebrows and bikini area, I don't trust the veet on my face or anywhere NEAR my bikini line.
Hope this helped.
ok, well a couples weeks ago i had bad backaches, and i was discharging alot. Im turning 14 soon and ive never go my period, but the one day i was fine and then i had a bad stomache and all i wanted to do was curl up in a ball, and i went to the bathroom and there was a little dot of blood like and inch big, and that its, i didnt tell my mom because idk if it was my period, and the stomache i could feel it on my right side like something idk it was just werid .. and i put a pad on but i only bled about another inch for that day and that was it .. the next day i was fine - so did i have my period?
Welcome to being a women! You probably had a pre-period in other words the best is yet to come. So as the previous answer suggested wear a pad and you never know that could be it for your first time. Every women is different, usually the bachaches and cramping in your stomach signify your having your period or you are ovulating, some women have very painful ovulation.
If you get bad cramping again a heating pad works really well as does motrin (ibuprophin) works better then tylenol at least thats what I have found. Also warm baths work really well.
Good Luck, Hope this helps.
Ages of children: (boy)6 (girl)8
My age:14
Entertianing? Cooking?(breakfast and lunch)
any ideas?
Ok for meals first ask their mom what she would like them to eat. For example some parents are really picky about sugar intake etc.. If she says whatever then go with cereal and fruit or toast or what they like. Don't make them all different things unless their mom tells you to. They could be trying to see what they can get away with.
As for lunch go with sandwiches, kraft dinner, etc..kid friendly easy stuff.
For entertaining; find out what they like to do and try to incorporate as much as that as possible if the two want to do different things then tell them they can each do one thing they really like for an hour and then trade off. Board games are good, out-doors is good try to stay away from watching too much tv and playing video games most mothers don't like paying you when the tv is doing the babysitting!! lol
If you need any more ideas let me know part of my job is planning recreation for kids.
Hope this helped
Hi.
My mom went to the dentist yesterday, and they discovered two white spots on the tip of her tongue.
She has been a heavy smoker for many years now, and they wern't here three monthes ago when she went for her check up.
I was wondering, what could cause this?
Like, what is it a symptom of.
Please please please answer.
My dad died when I was young, my mom is blind, and I can't stand the thought of something else happening to my mom.
PLEASE HELP!
It could be a variety of things, it also could be nothing. What did the dentist say? Has he recommended she go to the doctor? It could be something as simple as burning her tongue.
Don't panic, if you or she is really worried then visit your gp and see what they have to say.
Hope this helped.
i've been having a 'snack' around 7 maybe once er twice a week. either cookies, crackers, etc. once a month itd be a donut er something. is that really bad for you?? i heard you gain more weight doing that.
thanks!!
Ok eating a donut once in a while is actually more healthy then denying yourself any junk at all. If you are constantly denying yourself then you eventually binge and that is unhealthy.
Moderation is the key! I would advise though that you try switching your snack around so that you have the sweeter snacks in the morning and fruit or veggies with some dip in the evening as you are less likely to burn calories in the evenings.
Hope this helped
I have a bf in his mid 40's. I am 28. Well I think his behavior is a little strange for a man his age. I keep noticing that he likes to check out VERY young girls when we are out in public. One time we went to a pub and he ignored me to watch the tv- which had some teenaged girls dancing in a contest. I also found out he likes going to the porn shop with his friends. This one time I bought a barbie doll for my neice and then he made a strange comment that he would like the doll better with "no clothes on". Do you think he might have a sex addiction?
From a professional perspective this does not sound like a sexual addiction this sounds like he has issues with wanting to be with young girls. This is not a good thing, I believe that it is worse then a sex addiction in terms of where it could lead. It is unhealthy and un-natural. I would be wary of having him near anyone under the age of 18.
If you want to discuss this more feel free to contact me.
Hope this helped.
I hate my body so much. Im anorexic and I have been since February, but I read the effects and I want to eat healthy! Ive started eating again, but its all junk. Does anyone have a meal plan that will actually help you lose weight and is easy foods to actually get at a supermarket?
Congratulations on wanting to eat healthy and wanting to get on the right track physically and mentally.
First of all being anorexic has other issues besides the eating issue. I work with teens who have eating disorders on a regular basis, and continuing to want to lose weight if you haven't been eating properly for 6 months then you shouldn't be continuing to diet. Eating healthy is the best way to keep a healthy weight is to eat 3 small meals a day and 3 snacks eat lots of veggies and fruit but protein as well, ie. meat and some carbs.
A good day would look like a whole wheat bagel / toast for breakfast with low fat peanutbutter, and some fruit, snack at 10:30/11:00 of a yogurt, lunch of a salad with some tuna on it and a small amount of dressing, snack mid-afternoon of fruit, healthy dinner of veggies, meat grilled not fried, and if you want potatoes have a little, and then snack at around 8pm of some cheese and crackers or veggies and dip...
I would suggest you talk to your parents as well get them to take you to a doctor or go to a doctor yourself to make sure that you don't have other health problems due to the past 6 months.
You are making great positive choices for yourself right now, but since anorexia is also a type of addiction you will need more counseling so that you don't fall back into the old pattern. You are worth being healthy, you do deserve it.
Hope this helps.