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May 16, 2008Answers:
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about
I was on this site before recording my first single. I will stay a member of this site. I am asking that each of you support me by visiting my webpage. I have posted music that I have written and recorded. Check out Wildside featuring Father Jah, and I want, created in memory of 2Pac.http://www.reverbnation.com/Venomtheonly1
I am open, honest, truthful yet also insightful and understanding. I am a Strong woman with morals, belief, and character. I value life, myself and life of everything, everyone and all. I am mature, caring, giving, straight up and real!
I am not harsh, rude, or disrespectful but I am going to tell you the truth because you are asking for that. If you want a lie or support that you know is invalid because you question it yourself, please don't get mad at me for the truth because that is what sets us ALL free!! Peace, Venom
advice
i know you can bleed while your pregnant in the first trimester but say you don't know your pregnant and you have a 3 day period...is your period still considered late? could you get a positive reading on your pregnancy test?
reason im asking-->>
im almost POSITIVE im pregnant.
i have nausea all the time....and other pregnant symptoms
but i got my "period" sunday may 25 and it ended today, wednesday may 28...i was originally supposed to get it tuesday may 27.
usually my periods last 5-7 days and on the 3rd day its VERY HEAVY ...not light or gone like it is now.
should i still take a pregnancy test?
my boyfriend bought some and he wants me to take it with him....i don't want to take it though and it say im not and then i feel stupid because i kept telling him all my nausea and headache episodes....
then when i really am he wont believe me because he will just say "remember what happened last time"
and i don't want to that to happen...what should i do? what if i am pregnant..should i get the bleeding checked out immediately or just get regular checkups as if it was a normal implantation bleeding?
First, look at something mental with this. Are you wanting to get pregnant. Sometimes people HOPE they are pregnant and want to be pregnant so bad that they can actually cause differences in their periods, or even gain weight and cause themselves to have symptoms of pregnancy by mentally hoping they are pregnant.I have noticed that you said your boyfriend brought you some, instead of brought you one test.
Second, If I really thought I was pregnant, I would take it with him. If I really don't think I am and I am just mentally hoping I am, take the test alone and do not involve your boyfriend just yet because he could think that you are playing a mental game with him and lying or maybe lying to yourself even because - you are already saying "then when I really am, he won't believe me.." also, if you do this more than once, you would be playing a mental game with him and yourself too.
I am not sure of your age, but if you are planning a pregnancy, I hope you are of age, prepared physically, spiritually, mentally and financially because having a child is no joke. Good Luck.
how do you dance the percolator? there's a specific dance for that song. how do you do it?
http://search.live.com/video/results.aspx?q=perculator+dance&FORM=BVRE
I remember- Back in the day,the perculator dance used to consist of going down into the splits while your lower body is still jumping. Here's an actual video page of the acutal dance of how they are doing it now.
Good Luck, looks pretty darn tiring to me! LOL
I will be around kids all summer be babysitting and sometimes I dont really want to play but i do enjoy it. and i am adult that look like a 14 year old i am cool with it. thing sometimes i like do my own things let them know they do what they want to do and i am cool with they want hang out with me but let them know i am not really a kid kid lol. but i don't mind but how i show that i am cool with it but not in a immture way,
thanks
Well,I do have some thoughts on this one.
Being that you are 22, you are still young, yet too old to kick it with children. If you are setting an example thus far as being a role model is concerned, then great job, I respect you! I will share a situation with you that I had. I have a 16, 15 and 12 year old. I am 34. My children and their friends thought that I was "cool" to hang out with. Well, I noticed their friends began cursing around me and losing the respect they once had when testing me out. So, I was challenged at first of how to deal with it. So, Finally, I began correcting them and only allowing one day a week for time with all of them. I started taking them to poetry reading, and open mikes, coffee shops - artistic things. I took them to museums, Science Centers, etc.
It is OK to be cool, but reflect your definition of cool and their definition of cool as being two different things. You can not do the things that they do, but set an example of positive things that you do, so that they may be introduced to it. Show that them that is ok to be cool maturely. We need more positive role models for our youth in these times. We need to be responsible for introducing them to things outside of what they see and hear in everyday society, so that they have the experience and opportunity to see,learn, participate and experience in mature positive, nurturing activities.
Good Job and look forward for the doors you have the opportunity to open for others!
OK. My mom recently told me that sometimes she see's spirits. She's highly Christian and so am I. She told me that she's never told anyone but me, and she told me that she hated her girft and asked God to take it away from her. Now, every scince I was like 11 i've been VERY interested in the like unknown. So naturally when she told me this I got kinda interested, and I started asking her questions, but she gets upset when I ask her question. My mom is straight up psychic and alot of things lead me to believe that, not only can she see spirits, but she can sense things. Like, she can touch u and know that you're sad or upset even if you don't show it. And like at Mac Donald's, this woman who you could tell had something wrong with her, was mumbling to herself, and started laughing this weird laugh. The woman suddenly stopped laughing and stared at me. My mom goes "Kiara she's possessed, don't look at her". And i'm like, How do u know? And she didn't reply. But anyways! I just wanted to know if i'm gunna get her gift? And no, she's not crazy, I would have never known. She said she didn't get her gift till she was about 16, and i'm only 13.
Your mom is NOT Crazy. I am going to apologize for the fact that someone actually said this to you. Some people are actually gifted. These types of gifts are innate meaning you are born with it, there is no certain age that it just pops up on you. The reason an age is even associated with the gift is because this was the age it was recognized and/or acknowledged.
My email address is sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
Send me an email and I will explain whatever it is that you wish to know. I will also share some very insightful information with you via email in reference to this type of gift. It goes beyond spiritual and psychological. People are very judgmental and critical when it comes to areas, topics or subjects that they lack knowledge or experience in. I will look forward to your email.
so in a nutshell, my first love and i dated for a year and a half and were completely INSEPERABLE, and had zero problems 99% of the time. b/c of certain reasons, we ended up having a very hard breakup 6 months ago. about 4 months ago, this guy who i'd been [mutually] crushing on and i started dating. the ex and i half way kept in touch via myspace and occasionally phone. the other day we crossed paths and talked for a minute, and you can tell there still are some feelings there. all the while, he has told me & made it very obvious that he loves me more than anything, and isn't over me and wants me back, and a part of me will always love him since he was my first love. saturday he had a graduation party, and now this girl who i guess he met there is his number two on myspace, and he is on hers as well. and they have comments back and forth and he's left pic comments telling her she's beautiful and the whole shebang. the point is, i think they could like each other and quite frankly i HATE it. i know im with my boyfriend, but i feel as if we ever broke up, my ex and i could have another chance, and before i KNOW he would want that, but i dont want him to forget about me over another girl. i want to know that he's there for me. and he's the type that WILL get really wrapped up in someone else. i dont even know what im asking. i just dont know what to do? how to cope? should i say anything to him? of course i want him to be happy, but i hate that i could end up being replaced, even as a friend. i guess im just used to being that special girl in his life, =/. whats a girl to do?
Selfish, selfish, selfish.. I understand completely. I went through the same thing. Yes, it's jealousy. It's also mental. Humans are territorial, just like as an animal. The worst feeling is the I don't want you anymore and it's time for me to move on, but I don't want anyone to have you either. Catch it now, because it can turn into obsession or possession.
There are obviously still feelings between the both of you. I am sure he still loves you, just as you still love him. Now, answer this, was the break-up really worth it? I talk all the time about this 17 year relationship I was in. Well, we are back together AGAIN, because when we divorced it wasn't worth it. I hated seeing him with anyone and he hated seeing me with anyone.
My suggestion is that you first soul search and ask yourself some questions. Do you still love him? Are you in love with him? (there is a difference in the two). Do you want to be with him or only friends. Once you have faced yourself in the mirror, speak to him to find out his feelings and to find out what page he is on. It is also obvious that you two broke up WITHOUT closure. Once you two have talked and determined if you are getting back together or just staying friends, you will know what to do. If you're staying friends, then you have to let him go. The part about "being replaced" - that's what a break-up means. It means that you are over and free to move on- both of you, not just you.
Also, question yourself in reference to moving on to another too fast. Being that there was no closure with him, there was also no closure with yourself because you are now questioning your decision. I don't think a person should get involved in another relationship until they have had proper closure from the previous one.I learned that the hard way. I hurt someone else because I moved on too fast without closure and I ended up getting back with my x-husband, of whom I had been with since I was 16. I am now 34.
Good Luck, sweetie and do what makes both of you happy - but make sure it's what you want.
25. Male.
I have no more confidence in myself anymore. I no longer believe I can achieve my dreams or even simple goals. Nothing I do seems to matter to myself or anyone.
I hate my friends because they still stick around me when I feel like I'm dragging them down. I hate that my girlfriend won't leave me when I know I'm not good enough.
I'm not going to see a shrink. That's first and foremost.
All I want is a solution to either make myself likable again, or somehow detatch my feelings and stop caring.
"I have no confidence in myself anymore" - this means you had it at one point. What has happened that caused you not to have it now? Once you've determined this, change it.
"Nothing I do seems to matter to myself or anyone" - It sounds like you are feeling unappreciated and need some type of recognition in order to feel good about the thing(s) you are doing or want to do. - Distance yourself for a little while to focus on things you aren't accustomed to doing for people who need your help and will appreciate you. Homeless shelters, churches, youth programs, rehabilitation centers, this site even. What you are going through can be of help to someone else who is going through it once you come out of it. Appreciate yourself and as you do this, reward yourself!
Admitting that you feel that you aren't good enough for your girlfriend, really moves me and I will pat you on the back for that comment myself! Most men DO NOT admit this when they KNOW they aren't good enough for a woman and instead they try to play mental games to make her think they are good enough for her instead of MAKING THEMSELVES GOOD ENOUGH for her. Only you know why you feel that you aren't good enough for her. If it's financial, seek better employment opportunities. If it's intellectually, seek education. Set goals for yourself to improve YOURSELF and whoever you are with will benefit from the changes you make within your life. Once you accomplish this, you will begin gaining more security and confidence in self.
Detaching feelings - you are human right? You may disassociate your feelings, but know this, they come out at a later time from being bottled up on the inside and usually it comes out in anger, frustration, depression,- NEGATIVELY. So, the first this to make yourself likable again is to LOSE to NEGATIVITY and replace with positivity.
Also when you "likeable" - know that you must like yourself first and love yourself first or you can like/love no one else- maybe this is one reason why you feel you aren't good enough. I am feeling like someone or several people have said some horrible things to you or about you and that you digested it and began to believe it. I really want to talk to you on a more personal note, please email me. sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
Okay, I guess you could say my best friend and I "broke up."
That sounds stupid, but it's the best description.
It was because of her a guy and I couldn't handle it, and I tried to just get everything out there, but eventually she chose him over me.
Well, we've been best friends since 1st grade, and I got way to attatched, to the point where she was basically my only friend.
So, I tried to ask her if she like wants to be best friends, not that we have to if she says yes, but if she even feels like she misses me I guess.
I didn't get an answer, and I don't know if that was because she's just trying to forget of she means no.
But if she meant no, she should tell me.
Well now we talk in the only class we have together, well kinda we say like things but not like best friends.
And she seems like she's fine, but so do I, so I don't know if she is fine, or if she's like faking it like me.
Well, I wrote a letter, and didn't read it twice because I wanted it to be like raw and not fake.
I'm not sure if I want to send it or not, becuase I'm not sure if I can trust her anymore, and I'm not sure what will happen afterwards.
I'm trying to move on, but it sucks.
Should I send it?
Should I say something?
I don't think I could though.
We don't have to be best friends like we were, I just want to know if she even wants to try, you know?
hmm.
15, f if that matters for some reason.
Do give her the letter. I am confused - how do you feel that she is chosing this guy over you? You both are growing up now. Boys to come into play. It seems like there may be a slight sign of jealousy because you no longer have all of her attention anymore. This is a normal reaction and it's ok. Since you were best friends, that means that there is still a bond there between the two of you. She may feel some distance from you as well, so work it out and remain friends. Who is she going to talk to when he makes her mad! "smile". Don't be selfish by distancing yourself because your friend is in a relationship. If nothing has been done to you that betrays your trust in her, you should have no trust issues. If the friendship is over because of other reasons differing from her being involved with a relationship then maybe you should think about the friendship and know that just because you are someone's best friend it doesn't mean that they are your best friend. If she has never betrayed you or hurt you besides having a boyfriend, then it's time to grow up and be happy if your friend is happy. I am sure she would be happy for you.
Good luck dear heart!
i don't know what to do anymore.i dont really want to go into details but i can't stand it where i live anymore.
i can't stand living at the moment.i didnt realize until resently,but i dont really enjoy the things i usually do.I see a counceler,only because they thought i might need one after a natural disaster.Honestly that didn't effect me at all,but im soo tired of it all,the phycologist,my parents constantly reminding me of my mistakes,and on top of it i resently lost my best friend
it just feels like my life doesn't have meaning anymore.
please dont take this the wrong way,im not going to kill myself or anything,but i just dont know what to do,im not old enough to live on my own,my parents wont move,i dont know,but if i stsay here much longer i know i will grow insane
Dearheart,
I am so sorry to read this. Do you want to feel better or do you like feeling this way? I am asking you this because it is you who has control of your life and your feelings, so take owner ship and control over it. I understand that you recently lost your best friend and it seems really tough right now. I will say this, we go through things as people, because we are being given an opportunity to grow and mature while gaining wisdom. It will go on for the rest of your life, but it's not about what's going on, it's about how you handle it. First of all, if you feel that you are going to grow insane and you still live with your parents, imagine how life is going to be when you are out on your own. You didn't really go into detail so it's kind of hard to really talk to you as deeply as I would like.
Life may have no meaning to you because you haven't yet defined what life is to you yet. Without definition or direction "goals" there is no meaning.
If you do wish to talk to me you may email me at sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. I will read it no matter how long and yes, I will answer it. I want to share something with you: I didn't understand why so many things happened to me in my life at such a young age or why things continued happening to me as I got older - now I know why, it was to help others through whatever they are going through and so, I give myself 100% to the best of my ability. Your life too has a purpose, it is up to you to open your eyes to realize what that purpose is and once you see it, realize it, accept it, live it and share it - you will be happier far beyond the place you are in now in your life. Shut that door, lock it and open up another window to visualize your new door to open. You may not be able to open a door to a new place as you speak of, but open a new door to your life and what you can accomplish.
do you answer really long questions?? i need to ask someone a question but i feel as though it might be seriously long..not like novel but maybe short story??? its just to get all the detail in so someone dont read it wrong....i would email you the problem but it dont state an email...
yes. it's sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. Send me whatever you want, doesn't matter how long. I will take the time to read it and I will answer it.
First,this friendship is mainly because our children play together. At her party ,my "friend" & I was socializing with her 2 co-workers.I made a couple of jokes about my husband & quickly said," well, I'm sure he has a list of things to say about me." This friend walks over to me, puts her arm around me & says," I am the nicest person , but could be a real ditz ". I dont value her friendship ,it's that I'm mad at myself for not saying anything or least came up with a quick comeback,I just laughed it off because I was embarresed.I get tongue tied. My husband thinks I should demand an apology from her. I think not...so she says ," sorry & it was a joke ".So what now ,when I know she really feels this way.Normally, I would just not deal with her,however, our kids love to play together & have plans this summer to take them places. What would you do ?FYI,I'm really not a ditz,I'm educated & a business women,I'm to nice & she is taken my kindness for weakness.
First, there is a difference between a friend and an associate. The comment was rude, embarrassing and I am sure it hit you AFTER the fact. Normally we as people tend to think about things after it has already been said. It's because our minds can't digest a come back as fast unless we have gotten used to being called out like that and so jump right back resulting from learned defense. She isn't a friend. Friends, encourage, uplift, support and help us at times we feel like we said something stupid, they don't call us out or make us feel worst, adding insult to injury - in front of people! cut her off. If your children play together, that's fine. It doesn't mean that you two have to be friends. If I were you, I would first set up an informal meeting with her to discuss how the comment made you feel. Don't demand an apology because no one owes you anything but yourself. With that being said, learn from this and feed her with a long handle spoon. I am also willing to bet that this isn't the first time she has said something like this to you or around you. She is too comfortable in running over you, and seems to be kind of bossy too. (just my gut feeling). I don't think you are a ditz at all, because you are acknowledging an action that you don't appreciate- A ditz wouldn't know how to feel about it. "smile" Do speak with her (just the two of you) no kids, no husband(s), and let her know how you felt and that you are in hopes of not experiencing this again. If you don't value the friendship, then there's no need to make it a point to give an ultimatum of respect me or I'd rather have nothing else to do with you. If the friendship is somewhat of importance to you, discuss it, forgive and move forward. Another thought: She has low self esteem and obtains some sort of joy and validation by putting others down. Apples don't fall far from the tree - this means her child will most likely grow up to be this type of person and please do not subject your child to those type(s) of outbursts and embarrassment.
Hope this helped!
Sophia
To start from the begining. The day after my son was born is father yelled at me, because i didnt put his name on the birth certificate because he keep telling me i wana a DNA test. So i signed it and turned it in. My son also has my last name.( to be on my medical insurance) His father hasnt even supported him he lived with me after the baby was born and wouldnt wake up in the middle night he slept and laid around all day so i kicked him out. he cant keep a job and he dropped out of the 9th grade. hes alway is getting kicked out of his house every other day, some drug dealers are after him they said they were going to kill him when he turns 18.. when i did let him see his son for a weekend when he brought the baby home he was dirty, sticky, BLACK feet. his excuse was he was playing on the wood floor. ( hello mop??) i asked him for diapers one time he bought a box gave me half (threw the other half away).. am i doing the wrong thing telling him he cant see his son? i told him until he can start helping to support him which that will be never.
It's called responsibility. The father should see his son but in supervised visits due to his irresponsibilty and threats upon his life. I am a single mother. I have 3 children and it's hard. It caused me to have to grow up real fast because the father wasn't there. It took me a long time to realize the fact that I was going to be on my own. I should've seen it when I had the first child but I didn't. I loved him and had been with him for over 17 years. I am telling you this to say this - a baby doesn't make a boy a man. Experience, maturity and responsibility makes a boy a man.
Being that he isn't a good father, according to your question: I am willing to guess that his father wasn't a good father either or wasn't involved in his life. It's a generational curse.
If he can't keep a job, how do you expect him to support himself? if he can't support himself, he can't support his child either. It's a sad thing but it happens everyday. Sounds like you are seeing things now that you didn't see in the beginning of your relationship or when your son was conceived. With that being said, take it and learn from it. Don't allow him to move in with you to use you, and cause you to support 2 children - (your son and him).
Now, is your time to be more mature, support your child alone, set an example for your son. Go to school to enhance your education, work to support yourself and your son in order to become more self reliant and then you won't have to ask him for pampers or anything else. As your son grows older, the father will have to answer to his son as to why he wasn't there or why he was the way he was... Do allow him to see his son with you there. I wouldn't allow him to take my son anywhere. I don't believe in the child support system. if you want to know why, you may email me at sophia_pettus@yahoo.com. and we discuss that too. good luck and take care of that baby girl!
I'm 16 & me & my family dont get along at all. I dont see life the same as my family does. They try to restrain me from having a life & its getting hard. They try & keep me very close to them when they know I'm growing up. They want me to be baby again so that I'll just shutup & listen. Too bad it wont work. I need to figure out a way to be happy. Thats just the general question. If you want the full story I'll be glad to tell anyone lol.
normally parents and teenagers have differences at the age of 13, if yours only started at 16 then that's a plus! You aren't going to see life the same way your family does because they've seen more of life than you have seen. As a parent with a son who is also 16, I can say this. It's hard on both sides. I remember when I was 16, I didn't see anything the way my parents did nor did they see it the way I saw it. I didn't listen and got pregnant at 17. Parents can be over protective and over bearing at times. It's because they love you and don't want you to find things out the hard way. The best lesson is experience. We all know this, but hate the thought of our children or offspring going through some of the things we went through in our lives - we want more and better for our children.
I am 34, and my parents are still in my life, and business too. It never ends, so we have to learn to deal with it and appreciate it. It's best to appreciate it now before it's too late to appreciate it. You have to shut up and listen, out of respect. Happiness is found in yourself. Write down a list of things that you think make you happy and a list of things you KNOW make you happy. Look at both lists - Are the things respectful to yourself and family? Do the things hold value and purpose to your success in your life? If the list consists of things that you determine to keep secretive or questionable, the happiness will only be temporarily. If you want to tell me the whole story you may email me at sophia_pettus@yahoo.com and I will email you back.
what do you do when you're with a guy that you liked for a long time and were so much fun together but when you started going out everything went down hill. nowadays after only 4ish months there's just as many bad times as good, if not more. when we're good, we're great. but when we're bad, it sucks arse. like ridiculous. what do you think, does the good cancel out for the bad?
I've been there and I've done that. First determine what has happened to cause the change and if whatever has happened can be changed. Arguing isn't good. Fighting isn't fun either. It happens and it's normal. Sometimes, things like $,life, mood swings, happen which cause shift in relationship communications.
Try getting in a different environment (a park, dinner, a nice walk,) and talk. Find out if there is something going on that you two can work on or is it unhappiness that can't change without changing the relationship in whole. It all depends on what the reason(s) for distance and bad times. Good does not cancel out bad & bad does not cancel out good. Try not to weigh that measurement on those aspects instead look at this: Am I happy? Is he happy? Are we happy as individuals, next are we happier together or separated? Do we trust each other? Are we respectful to each other? Do we have the same things in common? Does he bore me? Am I not attractd to him anymore? Does he act like he's not attracted to me anymore or interested in me anymore? Weigh those things - next discuss those things and then you both will KNOW what's next based on your final conclusions.
Good Luck & be happy!!!
When my friend first started her birth control her doctor checked everything to make sure all her baby making stuff was okay and in the right shape?
Mine didn't she just handed it to me?
Should I have gotten a full scan on my "stuff" to see if I am okay before starting?
Is it normal not to have a checkups on that stuff before going on birth control?
The first time I was put on birth control pills, I wasn't checked either. I was given several sample packs to see how they would work out and how my body would react to them. You will have to go to the doctor in one year for a pap smear. At that time, they will check everything to see how the pills are working, and check with you regarding side effects such as nausea, headache, weight gain/loss, anxiety, depression, skin breakouts, period breakthroughs etc. If you aren't expereincing any of these symptoms then it's all good.
Dr's don't normally do checks before giving birth controls pills unless there's a reason for prescribing them differing from prevention. Some people are given birth conrol to help control menustration flow, abnormal periods, and cramps. Now, if that's the reason of a Dr. suggesting birth control, then Yes, you would have to be checked.
Hope this helps....
My friend chris asked me out by a note last year in like february of 10th grade and now im ending 11th and i never responded and i feel really stupid because i really like him and i did then too i think but i dont know why i never responded and he liked me a lot and i have no clue if he still likes me and we never see each other any more and i want to write a note to him and tell him everything and try to give it to him if i see him but im not too sure if i should. he would always tickle me and make me laugh and the day that he found out that i read the naot he came up to me and we hugged and it was really swett but i just dont know what to do! does anyone have any advice that i could do? because i really like him and would really like another chance to be his girlfriend and he is the sweetest guy that i have ever met!!! thanks for taking the time to read and answer this!
Just tell him how you feel. I think you should verbally tell him out of respect for the fact that you didn't respond to his note he wrote to you so long ago. It also shows a sign of maturity. We passed notes in 5th grade, remember those? (Do you like me, check yes or no) LOL.. Do be prepared to answer why you never responded to him.
I am also in hopes that he's not the type of person who may think like this: who does she think she is? She never responded and now here she comes MONTHS later, as if I should respond to her because the world doesn't revolve around her on her time!".. but, if he's nice, he is still as welcoming and interestd as he was when he first approached you.
Maybe invite him somewhere and tell him you need to talk to him about something very important to you. I am sure the reason you took so long to respond is because you needed time to think about being in a relationship and to determine what it is that you want out of it. "smile"
Good luck
Ok so my best friends little brother keeps kissing or making out with his guy friends, he is eight. Im over their house more than mine. i have nothing against gay people but how do we get him to stop!? I don’t want him to turn out gay. He said him and his best friend he was makin out with were gona have sex hes eight both boys and he was serious. I love him like a brother his sister and I realllly have no idea what to do and shes grounded for getting mad at him about it what are their parents tryin to do? What do we doo?!
There is so much that I HAVE to say on this topic. First I have to say that children today are WAY more advanced, and knowledgable than I was when I was growing up. I fault the television shows, music, and even cartoons have become outrageous at the day in time.
I am very concerned about this whole situation - not because there is a chance that your friend's little brother could be gay, but because of the sexual decision. Being gay or Bi, is innate, which means it's inborn. There are people who are bi-curious which means they CHOSE to experience the lifestyle out of curiosity. Being that he is so young, it's hard to determine if these decisions are innate or if he has been introduced or seen something which has caused curiosity. Is he sheltered?
I am asking this, because in studies, I have learned that sheltered children who do not get the opportunity to associate with the opposite sex outside of school or church, usually becomes attracted to the same sex, as a result of not having the ability to socialize with people differing from their gender.
Children are born sexually curious anyway. They begin touching themselves as infants, because of the sensation. I am saying that to say this, it starts with the physical feel or touch. Next the mental becomes involved as it matures, which is why it is very important and healthy that children are allowed to bond,talk,study and play with other children of all genders.
Have you or her talked to her parents yet? Where is his father? Is he involved in his life? I think it's time for a family meeting.If she doesn't want to tell it, you tell it! Tell the other little boy's family too as it does NEED to be addressed. I am not sure of their family's view of gay relationships, but regardless of this, the important factor is an 8 year old, discussing sex and already making out! If his parent's aren't going to get involved, then it's upto you and your best friend to step up. Please take him places to do things and make new introductions into his life.
Take him skating, swimming, to the park, bike riding, baseball games, shooting hoop, bowling, game rooms, spend time with him. Allow him to gain trust and a better rapport with you and his sister, and then talk to him about SEX period. At this age, support is important. It is more important to support as well as teach him the things he needs to know, than criticize or ridicule him.
Please also inform him of the struggles & discriminations that bi and gay people go through. I am not against it at all, but I do know & understand that they have much to overcome in this closed society we all live, because of people being set in their ways, as they stereotype and outcast people. There will always be someone to judge him and discriminate against him as he goes through life. At the age of 8, his mental isn't ready to deal with that and he shouldn't have to.
There are so many risks associated with the decision to have sex regardless of age, more importantly GENDER.
I am sorry my answer is so long, but there are several aspsects that needed to be addressed.
I hope everything works out so that it's a win win situation for everyone involved!
me and my boyfriend broke up last night and he says its because of who i am...that im just a messed up person...our arguements are so dumb and when we get to a point were we are going to break up over them it just kills me and all of our arguments i dont ever have a say so...i dont ever get to explain my self...its always him pointing me out that im wrong for this and that and im just a shady person...and when i do try to explain myself he tells o just shut up those are just excuses and for me to just keep it real...I FEEL LIKE IM BEING LOOKED AT AS A LITTLE KID THAT CANT TALK BACK TO THERE PARENT... OUR LAST ARGUEMENT WAS OVER CLOTHES.... WE WERE SUPPOSE TO GO TO A WATER PARK WITH MY FAMILY AND WE WERE TALKIN ABOUT HOW I HOPE THERES GOING TO BE NICE WEATHER AS SOON I SAID THAT HE SAID, WHY WHAT YOU GOING TO WEAR? I TOLD HIM I DONT KNOW YET ME AND MY MOM ARE SUPPOSED TO GO SHOPPING FOR SOME CLOTHES BEFORE WE GO TO THE WATER PARK. HE GOT MAD AND SAID, MAN WHY DO ALWAYS TRY TO GO AROUND THE BUSH I SAID HOW? HE SAID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR DONT ACT DUMB THATS WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO YOU TRY TO TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD TO WERE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO WEAR. I TOLD HIM THAT WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN ABOUT I JUST TOLD YOU I DONT KNOW YET ME AND MOM ARE SUPPOSE TO SHOP FOR SOME CLOTHES. HE JUST KEPT GETTTING MAD AT ME AND TELLIN ME IM A LIAR THAT I DO KNOW WHAT IM GOING TO WEAR AND THAT I JUST WANT TO NOT TELL HIM BECAUSE I KNOW HES GOING TO GET MAD OF WHAT IM GONIG TO WEAR HE ALSO SAID THAT I JUST WANT TO WEAR WHAT I WANT AND SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY AND THAT IF I LIKE LOOKING GOOD FOR EVERYONE ELS THEN I SHOULD BE A MODEL AND POSE FOR EVERYONE. THAT REALLY HURT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE THATS NOT WHAT I DO I JUST GET DRESSED BECAUSE I LIKE TO LOOOK CUTE...I JUST KEPT TELLING HIM I HATE WHEN YOU ACT LIKE THIS....AM I WRONG?? OR IS HE THE THATS WRONG...WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Thank God it's over!!!! This person is very controlling and he sounds like a spoiled brat himself! You and your boyfriend broke up because he wants you to allow him to control you, even how to speak, and dress. I will tell you this, if he hasn't put his hands on you, that's next.
If I were a gambling woman, I would bet you that he has some things in his life that he isn't proud of and has no control over. People who like to dictate and control others are people who can not control themselves or certain issues within their lives! Well, I am hopeful that you allow this relationship to go ahead and dissolve and move on with your life so that you can be happy and enjoy the fact that you still have a mom. You have been raised by your parent(s)and you don't need a man or a boy to re-raise you! Have fun at the water park and be cute!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT WRONG AT ALL.. HE IS WRONG.
His thoughts are wrong, his words are wrong, his actions are wrong and the way he has treated you is also wrong which made that relationship you were in with him wrong. Relax and feel the burden lifted off of you and breathe fresh air instead of feeling his HOT air from always yelling, fussing and wanting to dictate to you all the time...
I feel so lost. I was working as a cashier 5 months ago and I stole a gift card worth $33 from my job. I am 30 years old and have never gotten in trouble in my life before that. I was arrested in front of my coworkers and humiliated, went to jail, went to court and faced petty theft misdemeanor 1 charges. I got the sentence reduced to M4 disorderly conduct in hopes of not totally ruining my life. I have applied for many jobs and gotten turned down for all. I am getting married in a year, have no money. I have applied for minimum wage jobs and am qualified for much better jobs. I do know that I can get it expunged in 2 years, but how do I live until then?How do I feed my kids? I paid my fines,went to theft course, paid restitution, paying $550 in civil fines. And will be punished for the next 2 years. My life is falling apart for $33.00. Ending it all has entered my mind, I feel worthless!! HELP!
I am not sure of what state you are in, but I am urging you to contact the Urban League in your community. I say this because the Urban League assists people in getting jobs with Felonies. I also encourage you to find out how to get your record sealed for the time being until you can get it expunged. I completely understand how you are feeling without income; especially with children.
I don't want to encourage state assistance, but if it's a necessity check into it if you haven't already. When you have those suicidal thoughts, think of your children. They need you. Your life seems that it's falling apart, only for new things to come together. I believe in Prayer and trust me it works! Pray and trust in God to deliver you from the situation you are in. Doors will open to windows of opportunities.
Have you tried going to the unemployment office for referrals? They offer referrals here in Louisville. They will actually send you to the job with the referral slip. It helps. Also in reference to self employment, be careful of the things posted on the internet advertising self employment. Most of those are scams! Have you considered baby sitting? Working for a cleaning company that cleans office buildings? contacting a temp agency up front and advising of your situation? Some temporary agencies are willing to work with you as long as it's not a felony on your record.
Good luck to you and don't get discouraged. We have all been here at some point in some way - I know I have and guess what? I prayed about it, let it go and I have been blessed every since and so can you. God knows how much we as a people can bear. He does allow us to go through some things so that we can be more appreciative to the blessings and the storms in time because we learn from them.
13/f
ok so my ffriend (who is also 13/f) liked this guy. i was kinda friends with him so i asked her if she wanted me to tell him. she said yea so i told him. he didnt like her so i had to tell her that. she didnt seem upset AT ALL. and she really liked this guy. so i was kinda wondering y it seemed like she didnt care.
DO NOT TELL ME REASONS Y IT SEEMED LIKE THAT. THAT IS NOT MY QUESTION.
ok so like 3 or 4 nnights ago i found out y it didnt bother her. she had something much bigger on her mind. she had sex with a 19 year old. yes i know he could be charged for stagitory rape. thats y im not saying any names. well not only did she have sex with a 19 year old but now she is 2 months pergnant. she is letting this guy
(who lives in new jersey and we r in pennsylvania)
take her to get an abortion. i am againts abortion but it is really her only option. her parents do not know and she is not going to tell them.
do not say she is a slut or a whore because she is not. she is one of the most responsible people i know. she just made a mistake. we all make mistakes...her might be just a little more urgent and idiotic.
so anyway i am really worried about her. what can i do to calm myself down?
well, this is a very disappointing situation for you to be in especially trying to be there for your friend and all. The first thing to do is not worry about yourself calming down but being there for her because she is the one who I am sure could use some calming. Talk to her more the both of you, take a walk and spend some time together discussing ways of preventing this from happening again. Also discuss your emotions surrounding the whole thing. Talking always provides a calming affect. Talking is a way of getting it all out.
I am sure she isn't a slut and you are correct, we all have made mistakes and it's important to remember that when talking with her and expressing how you feel. There is one thing that I wish people wouldn't do and that's judge anyone. So, I am not judging you or her, but I am asking that you enjoy your life and not rush to be older, it will come in all due time. I would wish that neither one of you would have sex until you are old enough to experience exactly what sex means and the reason behind it, but none the less-
Be supportive of her NO MATTER what your beliefs are. This is part of being a true friend. As being a friend that means you both should be able to share your different opinions respectfully and agree to disagree.
In reference to her parents not knowing about the abortion, whether her parents find out or not will be upto the place she has the procedure done at. Based on her age,I find it surprising if they have a confidentiality clause for someone under the age of 18. Should she have this procedure done, she is going to need your help, support and encouragement.
Please learn from this and encourage her to also learn from this experience. I am not sure if this is the answer you wanted or not, but it's what was in my heart & soul to share with you. Also, take the time to read up on some information pertaining to teenage pregnancy, sex at a young age, abortions and ALL risks associated with sexual intercourse.
Okay, so I'm 17 and a junior at my local high school.
I dated a guy for almost 7 months, and then realized I didn't have the same feelings for him, so I broke up with him Last Thursday. I Told him how I felt... that I didn't want a boyfriend at the time and that I needed to focus on my school (online and community college courses) and that I haven't been myself and that I wasn't happy. I also haven't been hanging out with my friends (which devastated me).
Anyways, so we broke up, Friday night, he tried arguing with me over MYSPACE (which was stupid and pointless) and basically told me I was nothing but a lie. The second day (Sat) I passed him driving home and he just stared at me, so my mom called my cellular device and told me that he called her asking for his stuff (which I told him I would give it to him on Tuesday night... the night I don't work.) And so her boss died that day, so she wasn't able to give it to him. I wasn't able to give his stuff to him because I was with my dad who was 20-30 minutes away from my mom's house.
So THENN, he called all day on Sunday and so we agreed not to involve our friends, I respected that... and then he INVOLVES MY MOM, AND HIS MOM. His mom came over and was basically talking shit about me. I didn't care...
So I've been over him since the first night... so then me and one of my best friends were commenting back and forth on Myspace.. well somehow someone found it... THEN THEY PRINTED FOUR COPIES OF IT, PUT IT IN AN ENVELOPE AND PUT IT ON MY FRIEND'S CARS (INCLUDING MY EX'S.) I KNOW IT WAS HIS MOM, it just makes sense because WHO ELSE KNOWS WHERE ALL FOUR OF US LIVE?? Anyways, so then today I knew he had read it, and so In the hall going to second period (I'm now in 3rd period) and so he goes "GOODLUCK GINGER!!!"
Well he's being a psycho bitch and his mom is fucking crazy!
I want to cuss him out so bad, but at the same time I want to show some major class to where he knows it doesn't bother me (It doesn't really bother me, except the fact that who else would stalk me and find out what I'm saying??), and show how much of a psycho he and his mom is.
How can I do that?
What Should I Do?
Thanks in advance! :]
By the way, when I found out someone did that... I laughed so hard and so did my mom. And the comments that I said were:
"My summer Goals:
#1 Have the Best time of my life.
#2 Get Drunk.
#3 Get Laid (I already have 3 guys in mind) Lmaooooooooo."
I mean, can you obviously see that I'm kidding... for the most part? Why can't he get a fuckin jokee??
Thanks so much guys, I'd really appreciate your help. :]
Oh p.s I've already deleted him off of my myspace this morning.
Well... wow this is some silly drama and for real you are too old to get caught up in it. If you guys broke up, fine it's over. Make whatever arrangements need to be made in order to provide him his things. By not doing this, makes it look like you are intentionally trying to hold on to his things. If you really want to be mature about it, IGNORE. If things of confidentiality are being discussed and/or posted on my space or the internet period, stop it. Nothing is private once posted on there - you know that. I always think of it like this, if it's posted and gets out, then there's nothing to be concerned about.
You suspect that it was his mom, don't make accusations unless she told you that it was her- now think about this: So, what if it was her... what's the point? You feel me? Don't stoop to anyone's level but stand above the lower levels that others are stooping to. Don't curse him out. Give him his things if you haven't already. Take extra precautions due to stalking concerns - stop posting things on the internet if it causes concerns of being stalked and ignore the drama.
You have bigger things to concentrate on such as college and finals... you don't need all that drama in your life. If his mother and he wish to entertain Drama, allow them - the only difference is YOU and that you don't have to do it, express it, play games, or digest it. Don't digest it or regurgitate it either. Be the bigger person girlfriend! When he starts it up, smile and say "Keep it Pushin lil' Buddy or Keep it Movin' partner" smile and keep on doin you!
Good Luck!!