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My friend called me a ditz at her party in front of her co-w
First,this friendship is mainly because our children play together. At her party ,my "friend" & I was socializing with her 2 co-workers.I made a couple of jokes about my husband & quickly said," well, I'm sure he has a list of things to say about me." This friend walks over to me, puts her arm around me & says," I am the nicest person , but could be a real ditz ". I dont value her friendship ,it's that I'm mad at myself for not saying anything or least came up with a quick comeback,I just laughed it off because I was embarresed.I get tongue tied. My husband thinks I should demand an apology from her. I think not...so she says ," sorry & it was a joke ".So what now ,when I know she really feels this way.Normally, I would just not deal with her,however, our kids love to play together & have plans this summer to take them places. What would you do ?FYI,I'm really not a ditz,I'm educated & a business women,I'm to nice & she is taken my kindness for weakness.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First, there is a difference between a friend and an associate. The comment was rude, embarrassing and I am sure it hit you AFTER the fact. Normally we as people tend to think about things after it has already been said. It's because our minds can't digest a come back as fast unless we have gotten used to being called out like that and so jump right back resulting from learned defense. She isn't a friend. Friends, encourage, uplift, support and help us at times we feel like we said something stupid, they don't call us out or make us feel worst, adding insult to injury - in front of people! cut her off. If your children play together, that's fine. It doesn't mean that you two have to be friends. If I were you, I would first set up an informal meeting with her to discuss how the comment made you feel. Don't demand an apology because no one owes you anything but yourself. With that being said, learn from this and feed her with a long handle spoon. I am also willing to bet that this isn't the first time she has said something like this to you or around you. She is too comfortable in running over you, and seems to be kind of bossy too. (just my gut feeling). I don't think you are a ditz at all, because you are acknowledging an action that you don't appreciate- A ditz wouldn't know how to feel about it. "smile" Do speak with her (just the two of you) no kids, no husband(s), and let her know how you felt and that you are in hopes of not experiencing this again. If you don't value the friendship, then there's no need to make it a point to give an ultimatum of respect me or I'd rather have nothing else to do with you. If the friendship is somewhat of importance to you, discuss it, forgive and move forward. Another thought: She has low self esteem and obtains some sort of joy and validation by putting others down. Apples don't fall far from the tree - this means her child will most likely grow up to be this type of person and please do not subject your child to those type(s) of outbursts and embarrassment.
Hope this helped!
Sophia
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